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Forgotten Angel
10-07-2006, 03:18 AM
This is quite simple. Basically, just post anything you've heard people say throughout your daily lives that you found to be quoteworthy. I know I keep a notebook nearby at all times so I can scribble down things that amuse me or that I find to be profound - but usually the former. So post anything you hear here!

To give this thread a jumpstart:

Alyssa: "Sometimes you have to sacrifice your dignity in order to get the whole class to do pelvic thrusts."

Alyssa: "We're all one big happy dysfunctional family."

Mr. Struck: "I didn't ruin the world. I just contributed to its downfall."

Mr. Struck: "This is the British army! We walk into machine guns, god dammit!"

Mrs. Lavin: "Close your eyes. Whatever you do, do not think about cows. You can think about anything else, but not cows. Alright? No cows. No cows. No cows!"
TJ: "Mrs. Lavin, I can't not think about cows! You keep saying cows!"

Emily: "I thought of a river. Cows can't go in rivers."

Mrs. Lavin: "Push the pronouns!"

Mr. Cappuccio: "Girls, if your mothers haven't already told you this, it is my responsibility to tell you now. Never listen to a guy. Women are infallible until they listen to a guy."

Mr. Cappuccio: "If I were you, any time a girl hits you I would thank her. Might be the last time a girl ever touches you."

Alli: "You're just such a hot gay guy."
Mike: "My hot gay guy!" *hugs Shadow tightly*
Alli: "No, mine! I love her more!"
[They argue over who I belong to for several minutes.]
Mike: "Okay, she's my husband, but you can be her mistress."
Alli: "Okay, I can live with that."

Mike: *in an attempt to exorcise me* "The power of Christ compells you!"
Me: *smacks him*
Mike: "AH! Stop beating your wife! You're an abusive husband!"

Alli: "I can tell that Shadow wears the pants in this relationship."
Mike: "Yeah. I buy them, but she wears them."

Alli: "Do you know, in the [Jewish] bible, it's a sin to tax people?"
Me: "Then why does the government do it?"
Alli: "Coz the government is... Christian!"

Sorry about the last one. I meant no offense to anyone; I just found it to be highly amusing.

THeFaCeiNTHeMaSK
10-07-2006, 03:52 AM
Ooh, this is gonna be fun. Let's see...
Kendall-> Friends are like slinkies, not much good for anything... but you can't help but smile when one tumbles down the stairs

Me-> Quality Inn Hooker Service, this is Ginger Snap speaking.

Wesley-> Guess what I learned! Pengin Ga Semetekimasu! It's Japanese for "Penguins are Invading"

This was a conversation between my boyfriend and our best guy friend...
Wesley->Josh, get off my bed. Or at least make room for me.
(How many ways can this be turned into an innuendo?)

Wesley-> You should never feed the beavers. If you do, they'll turn into red-eyed beavers and attack little old ladies.

I know my non-internet buddies and I have come up with some pretty good qoutes over the years, but I can't think of any right now.

Minoru Inoue
10-07-2006, 06:47 AM
:D Finally! Time to wreak havoc... mwahahaha... First off, quotes from the time I was at the ocean with my friend, Birdy:

When crossing a busy highway:
Birdy: The smart chickens don't cross the road!
Me: Yeah, that's why we're not for dinner... wait, what?!

Me (to Birdy): Remind me not to let you be a fish in your next life, because the minute you get caught, you'll do a tap-dance on the boat and scare the fishermen so badly that you can hop back into the water.

Birdy: (while eating) Wah! Oh! I'm juggling my pizza.
Me: Don't play with your food.
Birdy: It's playing with me!

Random....
Me: I'm brushing my teeth. (sees a pen) Pen? (offers Birdy a pen)
Birdy: (incredulously) You can't brush your teeth with a pen!
Me: (tries)

Birdy: Ohhh.... ugh, you got the paper all wet and cookie-ified!

Then, Birdy found a new word:
Birdy: Fo' snizzle!
______________________

Now for some Renfaire quotes! (Let me know if these are too innappropriate)

Pickle vendor: Fair lady, do you fancy long, juicy pickles? Would you like to try one of mine?

Roasted almond vendor: Hot, salty nuts! Anyone like to try my hot, salty nuts? (spots a former customer) Miss, you've had my nuts -- what did you think?
Woman: Oh, they were delicious.
Roasted almond vendor: See, she liked my nuts. (sees popcorn vendor) Don't bother; the customers like my nuts.
Popcorn vendor: Yes, but they prefer my [popcorn] balls.

Upon mention that Voltaire came to the Renfaire I was performing at:
Shadow: you didn't happen to get an autograph, did you?
Me: There wasn't any paper
Me: it's a RENFAIRE
Shadow: T_T
Me: Otherwise I would have thrown myself at him saying, "SIGN ME!!!"
Shadow: lmao
Me: ...
Me: maybe I should've tried that
___________________________

Upon noticing some of Shadow-chan's more interesting quotes:

Me: My granddaughter is a hot gay guy!!
Me: *huggle*
Me: Finally, my dreams for you are a reality

Erik
10-09-2006, 06:15 PM
Collin - "Get back or I'll hit you with a stick!"
Me - "Ummmmmm.....that's a book......"
Collin - "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"


Heather + Me, making up a song after my cat ate my goldfish - "Love hurts. Cat bites. Fish die. I cry! Love hurts!


Alex - "Hold my shoe!"


Guy I Don't Know - "Hey.....Do you do weed?" *simultaniouse manical laughter* "Hahaha....ha..."


Anna, on the name of my local radio DJ - "Kwame? What kind of name is Kwame? I will name my baby after the next person who makes a sound. *ACHOO* Kwame!"


Billie Joe Armstrong - "What do you mean we walked around dressed like girls? We walked around in our own clothes they just happened to be dresses."

Billie Joe Armstrong - "I'm not as depressed as I used to be. The Prozac's working"

Billie Joe Armstrong - "You want a drumstick? Like a ice cream cone or a chicken wing!?"


Aurélien/Hollie - "GUARDS?! ARE YOU MENTALLY CHALLENGED?!"


Kat in the PPP - "::raises eyebrows at Red Death!Gerik:: So...what do you want to do while they're gone?
RD!Gerik: Wait...I have a choice?
Kat: :nods:
...::an hour later::
RD!Gerik: ...checkmate.
Kat: DOH! >_< "


Kristi's friends: "Wow, you talk to someone in Canada? how can you understand her? Doesn't she speak, like, Canadian?"


Sarah when see five large bolders on tope of smaller pebbles: "Is that just me or is that a REALLY big pebble?"


Slogan Generater: "Big Chocolate Gerry.
Double the Pleasure, Double the Gerry.
Leggo my Gerry!
Gerry - It Does The Body Good."


Kat: Crazy Canadians. We thank the indians for showing us how to grow food and stuff. Who do you thank - Leif Ericson?


Shadow-love: Grrrrr. Grrrrrrr. And again! Grrrrrrr.

Me: I Pledge Resistance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it pretends to stand, one Nation under a possibly nonexistant God, invisible, with poverty and corruption for all.



Yeah, that's all I can think of right now ^___^ I'll probably update it later because you people say things that make me laugh XD

Edit: How good I forget good ol' Mr. Bartch, my social's teacher?

"George Bush barely gratuated from High School. He got into college because of his daddy's money, and only got a C average, that his DADDY bought him. If I had a joice between George Bush and a gnat in a reach for the top contest, I would choose the GNAT to be on my team. It's definently smarter. THIS IS THE MAN RUNNING THE MOST POWERFULL COUNRTY ON THE PLANET."

TheBrit
10-09-2006, 08:31 PM
Tommy: *on being asked who was in the allied forces* Hmm, I'm sure that it was us..... France.... the US..... Germany....... Wait.... Japan? Yes Japan....... oh yeah, and didn't we invade Russia?

Tommy: (upon being told that it was the Nazis who invaded Russia) Weren’t we the same?

Tommy: Mario Kart Double Dash.... its going to be crap.......... I'm going to get it.

Tommy: Do you know who invented English first. Us or the Americans?

Barn: Cry like a Japanese schoolgirl being assaulted with multiple tentacocks.

Peter: Did ya know that gullible isn't actually in the dictionary?
Becky: IT SO IS!
Peter: Nuh-uh *hands a dictionary* check for yourself
Becky: *after a few mins* I Found it! SEE! It DOES exist!
Peter: Really!?.... what does it say?
Becky: naive and easily deceived or tricked........ HEY!

Becca: So Dad, what do you wanna do when you grow up?

Paul: They just walked around the countryside! Thats NOT a rebellion! Thats stupid! They could have at least ran into london and punched a few blokes, or some wrestling moves, yeah, like a medieval suplex, or a piledriver.

Paul: What saddens me is that Will Smith said he wants to get into politics....... god.... We'd have Carlton as the Vice President.

Paul: *hands out the exam papers* Now... before you do anything else, I want you to write on them.... GOOD GOLLY GOSH! THIS IS IMPORTANT! DO NOT LOSE!

Paul: You know at the end of lunch the library was giving out the old revision notebooks for free? So anyone who bumped into me should have gotten one.
Meg: Hey! I saw you at the start of lunch, why didn't you tell me?
Paul: Oh no.... if only I had my flux capacitator.

Paul: Hands up mothersticker! This is a....... No.....

EDIT: More great quotes from my politics class

Paul: Yeah, Elton is a great historian. But anybody who has ever read anything by him will know that he is wrong.

Paul: *in response to above* Of course, thats just my opinion, you guys have to make your own, but he's still wrong.

Laura: Homosexuality is wrong, but guys kissing is hot.

Paul: Never argue with someone stupid, you can't win. Seriously, go to Christian Union and see for yourself.

Paul: Well, you got the highest mark yes. By sheer magic, it is as if your answers were exactly the same as the two people sat either side of you. It is as if you were able to see their papers, and take the correct answers from each one.
Ash: See! I told you he was cheating.
Paul: I never said he was cheating..... I was just speculating on how coincidental it was.

Dave: *on the trip to London* God, we'd better get a fast red train. Everybody knows that a train is faster if its red.

Me: *on the train, just arriving on the outskirts of london* Did anybody else notice that we havn't seen any form of trees, plants or life in about 10 minutes?

Paul: *upon finding a 20p coin* Oh joy! Now I can afford to use the toilets at the train station!

Minoru Inoue
10-10-2006, 06:31 PM
^__^ I'm keeping a record of the funny things my roommate/college friends and I say:

Roommate: You’re not paying attention to me.
Me: Huh?
Roommate: It’s because you’re bored with me
Me: *dramatically* the truth is… I’ve been cheating on you
Roommate: *gasp*
Me: Yes, I have… another roommate
Roommate: *gasp again* How could you?! Who is it?
Me: … it’s Caitlin! She’s been sleeping in your bed while you were gone!
Roommate: Oh, the horror!
Roommate: And D-chan! She’s been sitting on your bed!

Me: It has to be freezered… froze… frozen. It’s gotta be cold.

Roommate: I think I’ll go to the C-Store to get some sugar.
Me: SUGAAAAAAAAAAR~!!
Roommate: … I think you’ve had too much.
Me: Yes! No, wait!

D-chan: Yeah, it happened on the weekend you all went home – you all suck – except her. *points to Alex*

Why So Silent
10-10-2006, 08:04 PM
I just have one at the moment. Bear with me.

My Writing Professor, Tim, Chauvinist extraordinare: "That's a cute outfit you're wearing today. I wish I could wear cute outfits."
Kat: ......Thank you? *runs out of room*

Forgotten Angel
10-10-2006, 09:00 PM
I have a couple more. I missed my Shakespeare class today, though, so nothing too interesting...

Zelda: My sister hates AFI. Says they're "too emo".
Me: WHAT?! It's a damn good thing I live on the opposite coast or my hands would be around her neck right now.

Yes. I'm overprotective of my bands. *hugs them*

Me: *arrives at school during C-lunch because of doctor's appointment*
Mike: HIIIIIIIIII! *waves frivolously*
Me: Hello.
Mike: Hiiiiiiii! *still waving*
Me: Hi Mike. What do you want? A hug?
Mike: *still waving* Nah, just waving. Wait - HUG! *holds out arms for a hug*
Me: *hugs*
Mike: YAY!

Mike: *singing badly* I want a boy with lips like morphine. Knock me out every time they touch me. *stops singing* And I don't know any of it after that...

Me: *mispronounces the French word for 'leather jacket'*
Madame: No, it's "en cuir" like "queer." Imagine that it's a gay jacket.

I think that's it for now. Yep.

The Khanum
10-11-2006, 12:45 AM
Just a note...my friends call me both Mae and KT. That clears up a few things in my quotes. By all means, carry on.

KT & Friends at the RenFaire: *Are intercepted by some random French guy*
Some Random French Guy: *Talks frivolously, which I will summarize* And if you see exceedingly handsome guys walking around with this badge, *indicates badge*, you surround him with your circle of femininity, and he will kneel before you, kiss your hands, and give you each a bead for your necklace. *Shows strings and dried colored pasta*
KT: *Walks up to some random guy with a badge* Kiss my hand and give me noodles!

Shannon: *Introducing her boyfriend to me* And you remember Mae, don't you?
Rob: She's the kinky, over-sexed one, right?

Amee: Australians don't speak English. They speak Australian.
KT & Liz: ...No, they speak English.
Amee: Well, f*ck that.

Sarah: ...I don't get it.
KT & Jeremy at the same time: It's because you're Asian. JINX!

Caroline: My dong is revolutionary.

Button on Catherine's dress: *Pops off*
Rachel: Well, that's convenient.
April: That is the most KT-ish statement I've ever heard.

Meaghan: *Introduces her boyfriend to her friends* And this is Mae. ...She's into BDSM.

(Via AIM)
KT: .......... *Offers virtual pie as a peace offering*
April: *Takes virtual pie and shoves it in KT's virtual face* ...B!tch.
KT: .... Well, that's not very nice. Unless there was whipped cream on top. Then I don't mind so much.
April: F*ck whipped cream, whore.
KT: I'm sensing a wee bit of tension on one end of this conversation.
April: Yeah, well this is one of a variety of things I can keep going all night.

Sarah: ...I still don't understand what the handcuffs are for.

Minoru Inoue
10-11-2006, 11:56 PM
Me: Can we listen to... um... the thing I wanted to listen to before?
Roommate: Oh, Flanders and Swann?
Me: *cracks up* Yeah, I was gonna say Siegfried and Roy, but I knew that was totally off.

Me: It's raining cats, dogs, hamsters, guinea pigs, cows, sheep, and llamas. And a gnu.

(It really is raining like there's no tomorrow)
Roommate: I'm wet.
Me: Oh, you wet yourself again?!
Roommate: Noooo.
Me: Good, then we don't have to go through the whole potty training process again.
Roommate: *shoves me off the sidewalk*
Me: Yeah, I would've shoved myself into the mud too if I were you.

Roommate: Stay under the umbrella!
Me: I would if you'd stop snatching it out from over me!


Edit:

Roommate: *grabs a bag of sour straws*
Me: Ooooh~ Can I have one?
Roommate: Sure! Oh... there's, like, only one left
Me: Oh, nevermind.
Roommate: *offers me silly straw by dangling it over my hand* Take.
Me: NO!
Roommate: Yes!
Me: NO!
Roommate: Please.
Me: ... thank you.


More edit:

Roommate: *starts humming the "Neverending story" theme song for the 8th time in ten minutes*
Me: *starts humming along* Oh, god not again! Um....
~John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name too.
Whenever we go out,
The people always shout,
There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
Dah dah dah dah, dah dah dah~
Roommate: ...
Me: You know it's desperate when I bring out the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
Roommate: ... yeah.

theatresavvypirate
10-13-2006, 10:28 PM
Friend: Do you have any Buddy Holly?
Me: No, but I have the Stray Cats. That's as close to rockabilly that I've got.
Other friend: The Stray Cats are rockabilly.

"I'm looking for what I thought I had. Oh! Here it is!" - My mom, rummaging through the fridge

Friend: Christopher is going down the hallways asking people for blow jobs.
Me: Why doesn't he just do it himself and save us all the trouble?

The Khanum
10-13-2006, 10:30 PM
Hah. Random quote from today in AP English class.

Mrs. Gensimore: *Shows a slide on Ernest Hemmingway* And here he at age forty. He looks rather dashing, don't you think?
KT: I'd tap that.

Minoru Inoue
10-16-2006, 06:30 AM
Randomness at the salt table!

K: Salt is one of my best friends.
A: Do you want to maaaaarrry salt?
K: No! Salt is a friend; not a lover!

Me: *spills salt* *moves to throw salt over shoulder and accidently gets it all over roommate* OMG! I as-salt-ed you.

TheBrit
10-16-2006, 11:41 PM
At the risk of overloading on Paul quotes, I'm going to post these. ^_^ (and maybe some others as well)

Paul: Yeah, the Catholic Church just effectively repealed the idea of Limbo..... That is just saying "Oh look, we've been wrong for the last 2000 years"

Paul: You know, it's like if our Government made murder legal, I would just kill all of you *Class laughs* I'm not joking.

Paul: Or if they made stealing legal *picks up a students pen and puts it in pocket*
Student: Hey!
Paul: *taking it out* and oh dear, you appear to have chewed on it.... I have your DNA on me...... So when I die, the police will come to you.
Student: Then I'll just commit suicide.
Paul: Oh please don't....... I'll have to fill out a form.

Paul: So Nathanial, what are you ideas on Electoral College reform?
Nat: I don't really have an opinion yet.
Matt: Spoken like a true tory.

Paul: Well of course, he had divorced her father and mother, and had practically betrayed everything she had believed in. She was gonna burn him at the stake.

Minoru Inoue
10-17-2006, 09:33 PM
I went to go get my flu shot today. Although I'm one of those "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" types, the last two flus almost sent me to the hospital, so I'm being careful -- BUT that doesn't mean I wasn't DEATHLY AFRAID of the needle.

Doctor: *trying to console me* Don't worry. This needle goes into the fat of your arm, so you won't feel a thing. It's not like the needles that go into the muscle of your arm -- now those are painful. ... wait, what am I saying? This is the type of needle that goes into the muscle.

Doctor: *pulls the needle out -- which barely hurt, BTW* There. Now I'll go get you a band-aid, but from the looks of it, you don't even need one.
(A few minutes later)
Me: *walking out of the doctor's office, sees a giant splotch of my blood on my sleeve* Liar.

Into_The_Woods
10-17-2006, 10:06 PM
"-I hope Elphaba gives you wings that you can't use very well and you crash into a building!

-Then, I hope I was carrying you."- Me and Bethany

"-47 grams of sugar! And you've had 2!

- and a half!"- Glenn, and me. I had two (and a half) Vaults, and she was afraid I would implode!

"Who knew that photosynthesis had nothing to do with photography!"-Jayme, in science.

"I want to touch Uranus!" - Me, in science. Mr. Jourdan has the planets hanging aroung the room, and I sit near Uranus, and I was trying to touch it.

"But, nobody talks like this except Mickey and Minnie Mouse, and other people like Michael Jackson!" -Mrs. Mary-Lynn, the director at Oxford Singing Children. She was talking about singing in you head voice.

"I'm like a chicken, right now, with no head running around in the desert trying to find his way, but Broadway way stuff keeps on popping up and I only have a minute to live before I get to the hospital that's 8 miles away." - my friend Matt, when I was throwing all these Broadway names at him.

"Friggin' Pourtugese settlers!" -me. Age of Empires 3 ROCKS!


We're an interesting group. Questies, every last one of us....

Night feather
10-17-2006, 11:09 PM
Karoline: "WOW! They are totally porn... in a very nifty way that is"
(my friend upon me showing her my hold up stockings.)

Me: "I mean honestly, it was so unexpectedly and really cool in a wierd way... sailor gang bang... in pairs."
(Upon reading a novel about a married couple who shagged sailors.)

(After having watched Brokeback Mountain)
Malik: "They should totally have had each others in the end..."
The rest of us: (Dies laughing)
Malik: "Well both figuratively and literally"

(watching Robin Hood, Prince of thieves where Robin returns home)
Suillie: "Have they sailed all the way from Jerusalem to England in a rowing boat?"
Me: O.O "Darling I think they sailed on a slightly bigger boat first"
Suille: "Oh.... but still"

Me: "Suillie we should totally go to Ireland and do some Irish men"
Suillie: "Yeah! I'll second that, just lying in a bed getting used over and over again"
Me: (blissfully) "Or on a dirty bar counter"
Suillie: "..... On a dirty bar counter?!"
Me: "..... Well it could be after closing time"

Minoru Inoue
10-18-2006, 12:01 AM
Stepdad: I'm not going to be home for dinner, because the company's taking me out to dinner.
Mom: Where are you going?
Stepdad: Iberia. (Mom's favorite restaurant)
Mom: ... you sh--
Stepdad: I'll only eat salad.
Mom: ... you sh--. You better not step foot in this house; you better stand outside the whole night.

I love my parents! :D Crack me up.

But apparently my mom doesn't love me. I tensed up way too much for the shot, and now I'm incredibly ill.
Me: Mooommmm~ I feel like craaappp...
Mom: Take some Tylenol sweety.
Me: ... okay...
Mom: *snort* Listen to you! *cracks up*
Me: Heyyyy.... *starts laughing as well*
Mom: *calms down* But seriously, take some tylenol now.
Me: okay
Mom: *cracks up again*
Me: Hey! Seriously, mom!
Mom: *still laughing* You sound so helpless! *laughs more*

She made me laugh so much that I feel all better now.

Edit: Funny quotes from rehearsal!

(Paul is supposed to go over to Gina's "dead body," lift it a little, and say, "Ashes? Does Gina even smoke?" But she got tired of lying there, so we replaced her body with a pillow)
Paul: *lifting the pillow* A pillow? Does Gina even sleep?

(You should've seen him try to check her pulse!)

Paul: *takes off his jacket revealing a "Sober is Sexy" logo* *says his line* But why?
Maria: *out of character* Because sober is sexy!
Paul: *messes up his line* And apparently I'm neither!

Paul: *calling his assistant* GINA~! ... Wait! No, I mean Gale! Shoot... *rushes over to Gina's "dead body"* Gina! Wake up! Nooooooo~!!




Edit: Play rehearsal again!

Minds akin to KT's will appreciate this one:

Ian (the director): Rayna, Chanel, go into the bathroom.
Everyone: Ooooh~!!
*a while later, Chanel is stand-in for Ted, and I'm stand-in for Bill, and we're "locked" in the bathroom as part of the scene. They let us out of the bathroom.*
Chanel: *as Ted* Whoa! Thank you so much!
Me: *as Bill* We were locked in there for a while. Didn't anyone hear us banging?
(long silence)
(suddenly, everyone bursts out laughing)
Ian: *near tears in laughter* I never realized it could be taken that way!

Theresa: *saying her line in a strange way* Wow!
Paul: *responding in an almost-flirtatious manner* Yeah... can you do me a favor?
Gale: *playing along* Yeah...
Ian: CUT! Not that kind of favor!
Paul: *too busy doing a victory lap around the room, followed by three different victory dances*

Peter: Hey!! Elisse gets to suck on Maria's neck! *grin*

Forgotten Angel
10-27-2006, 03:54 AM
KT: ...i see a new obsession coming on.
Me: honey, i've BEEN in love with that movie since the first time i saw it :-P
Me: omgs
Me: i said 'honey'
Me: I'M TURNING INTO PAUL
KT: ....yes you did. holy hell. O_O
Me: *hides*

The above conversation took place in AIM.

Mrs. Lavin: "KINKY!"

Amanda: "Scott, if I was chasing you around with a knife, what would you do?"

Mr. Struck: "I think the best thing that ever happened to Warren Harding was having a heart attack and dying."

Amy: "This is a sexy pen."

Josh: "Five thousand people in the tri-state area think I am a god."

Courtney: "Il pleut de wind!"

Mr. Struck: (on Rasputin) "When he leaves the palace he becomes this crazed, wild, sexy orgy type of person."

Stephanie: "You know, 'A Whole New World' is one of the most perverted songs ever written."
Melissa(Mo)+Shadow: "How?"
Steph: "Just listen to the lyrics! 'I can show you the world, shining shimmering, splendid. Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide? I can open your eys. Take you wonder by wonder. Over, sideways, and under, on a magic carpet ride...'"
Mo+Shadow: *dying laughing*
Mo: "I always thought that was just describing the carpet ride! I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!"

I think that's it for now. ^_^

ETA

Me and KT just now in AIM:

Me: darling, i have you on a leash and you're not even TRYING to seduce me? i'm disappointed.
KT: ...i figured being on a leash kind of defeated the purpose of seduction. you know, being that i'm at your mercy. *nods*
Me: i know. i put you on a leash with no incentive. :( it was stupid of me.
Me: so you better do some quick seduction missy or i'm taking the leash off.
KT: GASP! *quickly sheds clothing*
Me: good girl ^_^

Minoru Inoue
11-02-2006, 02:33 AM
Roommate: I – would – thinking…. That might be a good idea.

Me: *tosses Roommate a Cold-EEZE*
Roommate: *voice all cracked and barely above a whisper* What flavor is it?
Me: Does it really matter at this point? Stick it in your mouth, and then I’ll tell you.

Me: *eating Rice*
Roommate: Snack?
Me: Huh?
Roommate: *points to my plate of rice*
Me: No, it’s my pet dog. *Pretends the rice is barking*
Roommate: *Gasp* You’re eating your pet dog!
Me: It deserved it – it peed on the carpet.


(Then I caught a horrible cold: )
Me; Can you chop my nose off?
Roommate: No. I’d have to scrub the blood off.
Me: Oh, I see how it is – you’d happily disfigure me. It’s just the blood you can’t stand.

Me: *growls* *with a stuffy nose* Arrrrgh, I’m gonna murder my nose! … or burder by dose, that too.


Me: *my hair is in the process of being dyed, so my entire scalp is blood-red* Will you come down to the laundry room with me? – I don’t wanna go alone.
Roommate: You walk around school in goth everyday. What’s the big deal now?
Me: Yeah, but my head doesn’t usually look like it’s bleeding.


(On AIM with Shadow, my response to something Ville said: )
Me: o.o
Me: Sounds like a Miyavi rant
Me: except with actual words

Me: Why can’t doctors offer reality checks?


(I think my granddaughter and KT will approve of this one. It’s Halloween, and a hot guy is walking by without a shirt on)
Me: *a little too loudly* I approve.
Guy: *turns around and smiles at me*
Me: *tries to hide/curl up and die*


ETA: AIM convo with me and James:
Me: *uses MIB flasher thingie to make you forget what just happened*
James: *ish flashed*
James: That came out totally wrong.
Me: XDD
Me: Did you enjoy it?

The Floor
11-02-2006, 05:06 AM
(Me & my best bud while discussing whose flirtation techniques are worth tolerating)
Flavius: I don't flirt. *blinks* I look at the floor. I flirt with the floor.
Me: o.o You have no life.
Flavius: I have no life. But that is a hot floor.

(Me, my sister, and our best bud while hastily devouring leftovers)
Missa: Quit eating that potato seductively!
Flavius: I'm not. *proceeds to lick mashed potato off finger, thus bringing the strangest fifteen seconds of my life into being* This is eating it seductively.
Me & Missa: O.O

(My sister's friend introducing herself to a potential beau of Missa's)
Erena: 'Sup. I'm Missa's homeboy.
Missa: Yo. We're tight.
Dude: *runs away*
Missa: -_- I told you that wouldn't work...

Forgotten Angel
11-06-2006, 11:48 PM
More random quotes. YAY!

First, a couple from Halloween...

About my costume...
Alli: "You know, if you get rid of the fangs and carry a whip, you'd totally look like a dominatrix."

Me: "Hi Mr. Ellis." *smiles, showing off fangs*
Mr. Ellis: *twitchy* "That's still scary. I knew you were going to wear those, but it still scares me."

Megan: "Hey."
Me: "Hey."
Megan: *sees fangs* "OHMYGOD! Show me again!"
Me: *smiles*
Megan: "EEEEEEEILOVEYOU!!!" *glomps*

That's all I can remember from Halloween. And now, moving swiftly onwards!

An AIM conversation with my soulbrother.
Me: ....whoever sends out all these porno spam messages needs to go to hell. i'm really getting ticked off. -_-
Van: yeah, i freakin hate that crap
Me: i'm like, "NO. i do NOT want to see some 'hott latina chica getting gangbnged' thank you. -_-"
Van: i get a lot of "natural breast enhancement" ads
Me: i get a lot of stuff for viagra and cialis XD
Me: i think they got us confused
Van: yeah really

Later in the same conversation...
Me: so i cleared out my spambox ten minutes ago
Me: i bet there are already three more of those messages

AIM conversation between me and Canadian!Sam.
Sam: I was walking to the bus stop with some people and they were talking about porn, or something, and someone said something about them being to emo to b a porn star. so I go "Not if you're a Suicide Girl."
Me: SUICIDE GIRLS ARE SEXY AS HELL
Me: zomgs
Me: i love them
Sam: and now my favourite line is "When I grow up, I wanna be a suicide girl!!!!!!!!!!"

AIM conversation between me and my friend Rita about the projects i was working on.
Me: i was more than halfway done with it, and our power went out. i lost half of what i'd done. >_<
Rita: Omg I would have DESTROYED UNIVERSE
Me: lol. i literally slammed the tower of my computer with a textbook in anger. XD i think i actually fixed something. the fan stopped buzzing for the first time in MONTHS.

The next few are later in same conversation, but now on a different subject.
Me: hm. i think i'll go stalk bands on myspace.

Rita: I asked the bassist of Otep to give Otep a barbie doll I mutilated and painted on. I wonder if he did

The next several are from an AIM chat room between me, Megan, and Mike.
Mike: your'e doing BOTH megan?
Mike: you can't handle both
Megan: yea
Mike: no one in their right mind cna handle both
Mike: not even allison
Mike: you'll go insane
Megan: thanx for the lift mike
Me: ......what? o.0
Megan: im doing two bibliography
Mike: Megan... its inhuman
Mike: >.<
Me: we all know megan's not in her right mind ^_^
Megan: psh, im inhuman
Megan: hahaha
Megan: exactly

Mike: hey, remember when ppl use to sleep at 1 am
Mike: gooooooood times
Megan: psh, when the hell was taht?
Me: sleep? what's sleep?

Megan: *sits in emo corner that mike burned down*
Mike: >.<
Me: *comforts megan*
Me: cookie? *offers*
Mike: ::gives megan a cookie and a picture of Mr. D!cker on fire::

Megan: *shoves cookie down melinda's throat*
Mike: ::suffocates bc of ASTHMA and dies::
Megan: *gives corpse a hug*
Mike: >.< megan wnats babies with deab ppl
Megan: ............
Megan: sorta?
Megan: ooo
Megan: yes
Megan: cuz
Me: lmao
Megan: im.....
Me: vamp-sexual!
Megan: vamp-sexual!

Mike: ::revives from the dead::
Megan: awww *pouts*
Megan: no more vampire

Mike: just want you to be happy
Megan: so you set me on fire and take away my cookie.......
Mike: >.<
Mike: I harm you bc I love you o.O
Mike: eeer love is an evil word
Mike: ::sets love on fire::
Me: NO
Megan: um
Megan: thanx?
Megan: i
Megan: think
Megan: ......
Me: *saves love*

Mike: she wants to go to Chicago >.<
Me: and i'll visit you guys when i come in over the breaks ^_^
Mike: haha yey
Megan: yay!!
Megan: and we can have cookies
Me: and i'll drag megan off to a lordi concert ;)
Megan: *jumps up and down*
Megan: yay!!!!!!
Mike: and visit high school and bask in the memories
Mike: and by bask in the memories i mean set it on fire
Megan: and i can drag you two to a lamb of god concert
Mike: and walk away
Megan: yes!!!!!
Megan: i like that idea
Me: burn it down...
Me: good idea
Mike: i have my moments

Megan: and i'll be ............f***ed
Me: by who?
Megan: hmmm
Megan: that hot goth guy :D
Megan: hahahahahaha
Me: okay!
Me: then i'll probably be f***ed too
Mike: the hot emo guy named Chad that she'll meet there while drinking coffee
Mike: and they'll discuss life
Megan: no no, has to be a vampire
Megan: im vamp-sexual
Me: NO. the hot gothic vampire that we share!
Mike: >.<
Megan: member?
Megan: hahahahaha
Mike: what happened to A-sexual?
Megan: eh, vampires are too hot to be a.sexual
Mike: what happened to megan budding little meggans off her shoulders that can talk
Megan: ooo meggan shoulders
Me: she can't be asexual. she finds my fanfic too enjoyable for her to not be SOME kind of sexual. it's not possible.
Me: and she finds the hot goth vampire to be hot ^_^
Megan: hahahahahhaha
Megan: dude, your fanfics too amazing for me not to appreciate
Me: thanks :)
Megan: does melinda read it?
Me: uh
Me: he read some of it
Megan: did he read the latest part ?????\
Me: nope
Mike: i an't get into it
Mike: can't
Megan: its soooo good!!!!!
Me: he was all "24 is not a 'kid'......"
Megan: how can you not??
Megan: o jeez melinda
Me: and that's all he would focus on

Megan: uh, sorry to interupt, wat does 'bias' mean?
Mike: o.O
Mike: megan
Mike: go back to first grade

Megan: *sings to herself* doggy doggy

Mike: ::burries head in sand::
Me: like an ostrich!

Megan: *feels alone*
Me: NO! I'm here.
Megan: yay *feels not alone*

Mike: just ignore it
Megan: ......how?
Mike: like this ::forgets what he just said:: like this ::forgets what he just said:: like this ::forgets what he just said::

Megan: *smiles*
Me: .....why are you smiling in the emo corner? it's the EMO corner. o.0
Me: you know, -_;;
Megan: *starts to cry again*
Mike: EMO PPL CAN SMILE
Me: like this? ^_;;

Me: *watches vid for this song* this is the WEIRDEST vid i've ever seen
Megan: which song?
Me: "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"
Megan: i lvoe that video
Me: it's so WEIRD, though XD
Megan: yea, it really is
Me: the first time i saw it i was like, ""WTFH?!?!!??!"
Me: "FISHTANKS?!"
Megan: hahahahaha gotta love it

Megan: panic! at the disco is fun
Me: yeah
Me: but they're nothing special, in general. which is why people's obsession with them gets on my nerves
Megan: people are stupid, nothing we can do to remedy that situation
Me: like, this one girl at my hebrew high is like, "I panicked at the disco a year before anyone knew who they were!" and then she tries to tell me the new Lostprophets album is better than Start Something and she calls herself a music goddess?
Me: yeah right
Megan: ........are you serious?
Megan: i hate the new lost prophets album
Me: yes, i'm serious
Megan: start something was so much better
Me: it's been growing on me. i actually liked a few songs right away, but the rest have been growing on me
Me: but Start Something was SO MUCH better. *nods*
Megan: ick :(
Megan: i know!
Megan: especially 'burn'
Me: my fav. was "Wake Up (Make a Move)". my first personal theme song
Megan: i love that song
Megan: the video was amazing too
Me: but yeah. so i asked her why she thought Liberation Transmission was better, and she said "Start Something was too poppy".
Megan: ........
Me: i was like, *jawdrop*
Megan: slap her now
Megan: slap
Megan: her
Megan: now
Me: i see her tomorrow. i will then.
Megan: yes
Me: start something = AMAZING.
Megan: i know!
Me: liberation transmission = less than impressive except a few select tracks*
Megan: slap her twice, once for me

Me: wanna know what's REALLY pathetic?
Mike: me?

Me: during world by storm - the last song at every show - he'll stop right before - EEP! *zips lips* mustn't spoil it ^_^
Megan: .......
Megan: thats
Megan: not
Megan: cool
Me: *glomps* i love you ^_^
Megan: aww *hugs*
Me: come on, megan, do you really want me to spoil the surprise?
Megan: ....thats not cool
Megan: i
Megan: but
Megan: no
Megan: but
Megan: yes
Megan: ..
Me: is that a yes or a no?
Megan: *sulkly* no

Finally done with quotes from that chat! Now, quotes from AIM conversations with Megan.

Me: random amusement: so, i realized that this concert is on Ville Valo's b-day. and i thought, "hey, wouldn't it be cool if wiL randomly dedicated a song to Ville?" and so i mentioned it to amanda, and she said that if we talk to them, i should ask if wiL would do that. XD
Megan: hahahahaha, o man that would be amazing

Me: lol. i just gave up on guys and thank whatever higher power is out there that i'm bisexual. XD
Megan: hahahaha, o man, i know exactly wat you mean
Me: and yet i'm sitting here WRITING yaoi-ish stuff.
Megan: heehee, gotta love it
Me: why? because the only truly intelligent males are the gay ones XD
Me: except mike. i wonder about him sometimes

Megan: *tries to send mac'n'cheese threw internet*
Me: didn't we try this once with some other food?
Me: virtual chocolate or something? :-P
Megan: heehee
Megan: virtual chocolate
Megan: with virtually no calories
Me: mmhm!
Megan: haha
Me: that was it!
Megan: hahahaha
Megan: yay virtual chocolate
Me: my virtual comfort food ;)

Megan: gotta love band
Me: i'm happy i'm out of there. not like i can play anyway, but still.
Megan: awww, i miss you
Megan: we dont do anything anyway
Me: aww, i feel loved!
Me: i miss you too
Megan: *hug*
Me: *hug*
Me: you know what? we should actually just hang out sometime. the only time i ever see you is after school and maybe for a couple minutes during a-lunch on b-days.
Megan: i know, we definately should
Me: *nods*
Megan: randomly terrorize [town where i live]
Me: hahaha sure. XD
Me: or [town where megan lives]. but i'd be afraid of getting mugged there. >_< no offense to you. but i just don't trust the place. XD
Megan: join the club

Me: and i'm taking physics 2 next year just so i can have my existence disproved ^_^
Megan: hahahaha, that sounds like fun
Me: i know, doesn't it?
Me: shawn and abbas were talking about it in pre-calc.
Me: "he'll ask you who you are and when you tell him, he'll be like, 'no you're not. and here's why.' and it will actually make sense!"

Megan: i love him
Me: me too.
Me: and i don't even know who he is
Megan: hahaha
Megan: join the club
Me: lol. darling, i started the club ;)
Me: *totally took on a flaming fairy gayboy 'accent' for that line*

Me: *giggles* so, have i told you about 'spookycore' music yet? *is extremely amused by the title*
Megan: spookycore music?
Me: yep. apparently the media has dubbed all music/bands that even slightly resembles AFI as 'spookycore'. so this includes Aiden, It Dies Today, Deadsy, From First To Last, I Am Ghost, and a few other in this magazine article that i haven't heard of and don't want to bother typing
Megan: thats really bizzare
Me: yeah, but you gotta admit, 'spookycore' sounds fun. "I'm spookycore! I'm a hardcore ookie-spookie!" *totally stole the term "ookie-spookie" from Voltaire*
Megan: hahahahahahahaha
Megan: o man
Megan: i love that!
Me: hehe. me too
Me: i'm gonna walk around saying i'm spookycore just so i can get people to ask me what that means. and then i can tell them, in those exact words, "i am a hardcore ookie-spookie."

Megan: aww, your never alone, im always here for youuuu! mostly to shake you down for the fanfiction, but always a waiting ear
Me: lol. thanks :)
Megan: np man
Me: *to brain* see? megan loves me!
Me: brain: ....... *is thus disproved* *sulks in corner*
Megan: heehee emo-corner!
Me: PINK emo corner!

Me: *goes to see if the prettyprettypretty finnish goth boy is on myspace's gothic twin again yet*
Megan: heehee
Me: nope. but i can stare at this kid's pictures for hours anyway. *stares*

Me: come on, you can't tell me that boy isn't pretty.
Megan: omfg, he's gorgous
Me: i KNOW
Me: i was like, "HOLYMOTHEREFFINGEEZ!" when i first saw him
Megan: i
Megan: love
Megan: his
Megan: eyes
Megan: their mine

Megan: *is wondering how people have 'findagoth.com', but not a 'domegan'sproject.com'*

Me: i think i'm in love with this kid. XD
Megan: .........half of him is mine
Me: yep
Megan: shotty lower half!
Me: LMAO
Megan: hahahahahaha
Me: megan, i thought you were 'asexual'?
Me: either way, his face is pretty. so i'm happy with the upper half
Megan: psh, i still get his red eye
Megan: and he's a vampire
Me: yep
Megan: come on
Megan: you never wanted to go with a vampire?
Me: i get the FANGS!
Megan: o hell no
Megan: i want the fangs!
Me: you gave me the upper half :-P
Megan: *cries*
Megan: faaaangs
Me: i'll share, though
Megan: can i have one?
Megan: yayyaya!
Me: how about we just share him? in general?
Me: we just share the whole inhumanly gorgeous package.

Me: *wonders if there is a term for being sexually attracted to vampires*
Megan: vamp-sexual
Me: probably.
Me: so, now we know you're sexuality! :-P
Megan: yes!!!!!!
Megan: vamp-sexual

Me: which reminds me - must talk to my parents about transportation again. and - WHOA! okay, i totally own the shirt wiL is wearing in this picture!
Me: i was wearing that shirt on thursday
Megan: dont know if i should be worried or not
Me: lol
Me: only thing you have to be worried about is if aiden randomly stops in this area again for donuts or whatever they were at dunkin donuts for and abby tells me she saw them again and didn't know it until later
Me: and then you only have to worry that i'll end up in jail for murder XD
Megan: hahahahaha
Megan: i'll be right there beside you
Me: hahaha
Me: "a friend is there to bail you out of jail. a best friend is sitting next to you at the precinct saying 'man, we f***ed up.'"
Megan: hahaha, thats totally gonna be us
Me: haha, yeah, it is
Megan: hahaha, o man, that would suck and rock at the same time

Me: i got all "GRRRRRR!" when i found out all the rocker kids i hang out with had never heard of Alice Cooper.
Megan: ..........how can you not know alice cooper?
Me: that's what i said.
Me: "How the HELL do you not know THE Alice Cooper?!"
Megan: i know!
Megan: o
Megan: this is bad
Megan: i was talking to some kids bout ozzy osbourne
Megan: and they had no idea he was in a band, or that he was a singer
Me: O__________O
Me: *kills them*
Megan: i know *takes out katana*
Me: *has dagger and sais out already*
Megan: niiiice, were good to go now!
Me: yep!
Megan: hahaha
Me: *glares at demon army mike seems to be convinced she has* To arms, men!
Megan: *joins demon army* hell yea!!!!!

Me: come to my house one day after school and we'll stalk him together. *nods*
Megan: yay! stalker party

Megan: well, next time i see her i'll give her a hug!
Me: lmao
Me: she'll be like, "WTF?! what the hell was that?! @_@"
Megan: and i'll laugh and tell her im just insane and not to worry

Me: *puts pillow between your head and the wall*
Megan: *screams* pillow fight!

End of AIM quotes for this post. Whew. On to quotes from school.

Mrs. Yaeger: "I'll be your sub today. You can call me Miss Johansson."

Mrs. Yaegar: "Why would we eat Chinese food at 10:30 in the morning?"

Pat: "What do we get if we win? Points? Women? Money? Boys?"

Mr. Struck: "There's a respect thing. 'We don't kill each other at funerals.'"

Mr. Struck: "If I want to yell 'fire' I'm gonna yell 'fire'!"
Mr. Sabo: *opens door*
Mr. Struck: "Hey, fire! How you doin'?"

Mr. Struck: "Bad 's'."

Mr. Struck: "The new KILLED the old!"

Mr. Struck: "Guilty until proven innocent."

Me: "And the drummer for the 69 Eyes is thirty-four but looks like - "
Megan: "WAIT! You're lying!"
Me: "No, he's really thirty-four."
Megan: "NO! Oh my god, stop lying!"
Me: "I'm not! He's thirty-four and he's the youngest member of the band."
Megan: "Holy sh!t, no way. He can't be! He CAN'T be thirty-four!"
Me: "But he is!"
Megan: "NO!"
Me: "YES!"
Megan: "No he isn't! NO!!!"
Me: "HE IS!!!"

Joe: "It's the battle of the sexes in this class!"
Mr. Cappuccio: "Who's a sexist?"

Mike P.: "What's sex?"

Megan: "Seriously, if you have fangs, I'm yours. Wow, I'm such a cheap whore!"

Mr. Cappuccio: "Say something intelligent and I'll bring you back up to zero."
Ryan: "....It felt good."

Mr. Cappuccio: "He's a normal guy. He's straight. *pause, realizes what he said* Straight up!"

Mr. Cappuccio: "Guys are stronger than girls. Odors and everything."

Michele: "I'm not looking for idiocrisy!"




DONE!!!!!!!!!! Haha, wow. I started this at, like, 4 PM and am finishing at 6:45 PM. Just.... wow. XD

Minoru Inoue
11-07-2006, 02:35 AM
Mr Tipton (my cute li'l chorus teacher): Wow, bases! What'd you eat for breakfast? You sound great!

Me: (waiting for my friend in a therapist's office) I'm a psych minor, but I can't pursue it beyond study.
Secretary: Why not?
Me: I don't have patience for the stupid.

Me: I accidently wrote "quck" instead of "quick." ... *snerk* Makes me think of something dirty about ducks or something...

(<<; I feel so insignificant against Shadow-chan's post...)

Masa-chan: Who wants to have a walkathon! Let'a walk across the Atlantic ocean! Bring your oxygen tanks!


ETA:
A: *says something about a "happy place"*
Me: "Happy place?"
Chibi-chan (aka K): Yeah! Happy place. You know. Because they have it, and we don't... because they're male... Do I really have to explain this to you -- especially while you're eating a banana?

Head of anime club: That man is made of woman. *referring tot he singer of TM revolution*

Forgotten Angel
11-13-2006, 06:55 AM
Drew: "Note to self: Gay mafia."

Mrs. Lavin: "No blowing of the candy!"

Syio: His voice on the candlelight intro was, like, orgasmic.
Syio: And it stayed that way.
Me: Totally. Except that one chord in the chorus of silent eyes.
Me: Then it was like, "........*cringe*" but just for a moment. then it was all orgasmic again.

Mr. Struck: "Just because you're a fascist doesn't mean you're a bad person."

Mr. Struck: "I think it's important for us to know how to become fascist dictators."

Mr. Struck: "Consolidate your socks, please."

Tracey: "We get tips together."
Michele: "Lots of tips!"

Erik
11-13-2006, 05:26 PM
Ashley: "Well, you suck. In may different flavours."
Me: "I've never heard that one before."
Ashley: ".....well that's because I just made it up!"

Me: "Kat told me to Wiki it, and I did, and it said someone died from it before!"
Ashley: "And when was this?"
Me: "I dunno, something like 200 BC"
Ashley: "Are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure there have been a few medical advances in the last TWO THOUSAND YEARS!"

Us talking about Houssaine

Me: blahblahblah "..Saddam"
Ashley: "Okay! Around here we say SADDOM, not SADDAMN. It's like, Saddamn you too!"

(I know I screwed that one up, but it was on the phone a while ago)

Ashley: basically he was the Forrest Gump of the Pacific theatre
Me: ........
Me: I haven't seen that movie
Ashley: oh
Ashley: listen
Ashley: you can hear my soul die a little
Me: I knew I heard a soul dieing somewhere
Ashley: that would be here
Me: sad

lol. On to Jon:

Me: oh. boy question
Jon: uh oh
Jon: C
Jon: always answer C
Jon: ;)
Me: in a fight between a girl and a boy, are the balls off limits?
Me: lmao C
Jon: YES
Jon: ABSOLUTELY YES

Me: sooooo. shave your beard yet, my dear?
Jon: not yet
Jon: and I'll tellyou why
Me: knew it
Me: why?
Jon: It's ****ING COLD
Jon: I had that thought the other morning

Me: aaaaahahaha. i'm sad that I can't drink anything when I talk to her.
Me: she makes me laugh too much
Jon: don't worry she drinks enough for everyone

Jon: and I busted her serger
Jon: oops
Me: ok. what is a serger?
Me: (and, haha, you broke it)

Me: What are you singing?
Jon: Desperado
Jon: by the Eagles
Me: Eagles!
Jon: yeppers
Me: *can play that one song*
Me: whats it called
Jon: I have no idea
Jon: you know any of the words
Me: Take it Easy
Jon: not a bad idea....
Me: ^_^
Jon: *flips through playlist back to first song of ablum*

Later:

Me: just chill
Jon: lol
Jon: too late
Me: Take it eaaaaaaaaasy
Me: Take it eeeeeasaaaaaay
Jon: ROFL

Me: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall my exes live in Texas....
Me: *sings*
Jon: LOL
Jon: that's why I reside in Tennessee
Me: YES
Me: hahaha
Jon: please...did you not think I knew that song?
Me: lol I never know
Me: it was my math song today
Jon: they would take away my boots and cowboy hat if I didn't

Jon: but I do know I didn't lose anything there
Jon: so no point in going back
Me: hah!

Jon: but on the plus side I get really go pain killers for it
Me: XD
Jon: Kevin says I got really stupid and started waxing poetically about socks

Me: i'm out of popcorn :<
Jon: NO!!!!!!!!!!
Jon: oh the humanity

Jon's too funny. I'm gonna stop about him now :3

I'm adding my Kat section and my Randomness later, after school.

Night feather
11-13-2006, 07:36 PM
Nino (my bio teacher): well I'm taking riding lessons with my daughter... I'm riding Sophia.... which is a HORSE... not a woman...
Pernille: well that doesn't really make it less nasty!
The rest of us: (laughs ourselves silly....)
Nino: Okay I deserved that

Nino: I speak six languages, spanish, danish, english, german, Italian.... and I learned French when I shared a pillow with a French woman.
Niklas: Sounds comfy
Nino: Oh it was

Søren: Well it's like these shows where you have a cripple who has found God or something like it, and we see how well he is.... Happy gimp of the week.

Karoline: You can be a bunny... If you just want some!

Karoline: Spiderman - he was the superheroes' dr. Phil

Minoru Inoue
11-14-2006, 04:04 AM
Marie: I won't be here on Monday. We're celebrating my mom's birthday. She has two.

Jessica: I look like a gay nazi

Mr. Tipton: Wow! *throws his pencil behind his head, making it bounce off the blackboard*
James (pianist): *ducks for cover*

Mr. Tipton (to James): Play the D flat.
James: *awkward silence* ... where's there a D flat in this piece?
Mr. Tipton: Wait, you played it in D Major?
James: ... I want to go home now.

Girl 1: I'm on this website where you put in your name, and it tells you what your perfect job is.
Girl 2: I'm a trash collector.
Dan: Put my name in.
Girl 1: Okay.
*a few minutes later*
Girl 1: *cracks up* Oh, goddddd.....
Dan: What is it?
Girl 1: "Porn Star."
Dan: ...yeahno.

Love the Lie
11-14-2006, 04:52 AM
Bunny-chan: We don’t piss everywhere, just on the toiley.

HeeHee, “Toiley”.

Taylor: *on the computer* Rachey, how do you turn this thing on?
Me: Um... you hit the power button.
Taylor: Which one is that?
Me: The one that says 'Power'.
Taylor: *looks* Oh, you mean THIS one that says POWER!

In Blockbuster Parking Lot, Truck comes while Taylor, Logan and I are walking down middle of roadway
Taylor: AHH!
Truck turns, to park.
Taylor: AHHH! DEATH! DEATH ON WHEELS! DEATH ON WHEELS!
Logan and Me: laughing our arses off.

Ashleigh: Rach, is it this turney thing?
Me: *looking at map* Yes… *Ash takes the ramp* Wait… no! The next turney thing! THE NEXT ONE!
Ashleigh: *now driving on Freeway* WTF? I’m not supposed to be on this type of road!! Where the hell’s a politician when you need one to run over?

Taylor: Feel free to have a cheesy!
Me: Okay. *grabs one*
Logan: Get your own cheesies, moneybags!
Me: …okay…. *gives Logan her cheesy*

Richard: Do you guys believe in the opposites theory, you know, that there’s someone out there that looks exactly like you except opposite in personality?
Helen: Hell no.
Me: Psh! No… and if there was, I’d be afraid of my opposite.
Richard: Dude, your opposite would be like… Xena: Warrior Princess!
Me: AND SARAH’S WOULD BE GABRIEL!
Richard: The blonde sidekick!
Me: Dude, if my opposite is Xena, I want to meet me!!

Me: No offense Richard, but never compare me to your ex-wife again. It gives me scary mental images…
Richard: Me too.

*******-In-Law: So, how’s life?
Me: Well I’m still alive so it’s looking pretty damned good.

Logan: HEY! It stopped raining!
Me: -.-‘ We’re under a tree…

Taylor: So anyways… I was like……… Wait, what was I saying again?
Me: *stares blankly* I have noooo idea.

Taylor: Don’t blame me! I can’t count!
Me: And that’s my excuse for English!
Taylor: How does counting have anything to do with English?
Me: Shut up. It just does.

Customer: Your boyfriend must treat you good.
Me: *sighs as she doesn’t much like this customer* Yeah, he does. Buys me lots of things.
Customer: What’s his name?
Me: I don’t know…
Customer: You don’t know your own boyfriends name?
Me: Nope, I know he lives up here *points to head* though, along with the ***** he’s cheating on me with.

Customer: I would like a chicken ceaser sub please.
Me: I’m sorry sir, we don’t have the subs. We only have the salad and the pizza.
Customer: I want the sub though.
Me: We don’t have it though. You can try subway.
Customer: I want your subs though.
Me: Sir, I’m going to say this once more… We. Don’t. Have. The. Sub. We. Have. The. Pizza. And. Salad. Only. Thank you.
Customer: Oh, well do you know where I could get the sub?
Inner!Me: *head desk* Me: You could try subway.
And now, for a conversation with my 7 year old niece at the time.

Missy: *******-In-Law says he wants to know if you like his present.
Me: Missy, you can tell *******-In-Law that he can go suck his insert the blank here for all I car with his cruddy plastic radio.
Alxyia: Who’s *******-In-Law?
Me: Ummm… Aunt Mandy’s husband.
Alxyia: *shouting to *******-In-Law* WHY ARE YOU MEAN TO RACHEY?

Erik
11-14-2006, 07:23 AM
OKAY!

Rachey quotes, over IM:

Canadian Sunburn (10:42 am): school... has... been snowed in today!
SuperxSamness (10:43 am): lmfao
SuperxSamness (10:43 am): theres not a speck of snow on the grond here
Canadian Sunburn (10:43 am): *dumps a big pile of snow on Sammy's school*
Canadian Sunburn (10:43 am): that's cause it's all confined to cover and bury the school!
SuperxSamness (10:43 am): ooooh!
SuperxSamness (10:43 am): ok
Canadian Sunburn (10:43 am): and... I think it burnt down! *starts school on fire*

SuperxSamness (07:41 am): *pokes* so, what are you? random green haird freak?
Canadian Sunburn (07:42 am): yes
Canadian Sunburn (07:43 am): nah, generic anime chick
Canadian Sunburn (07:43 am): you wanna know whats scariest though
Canadian Sunburn (07:43 am): this wig, is like, a mullet!

Canadian Sunburn (07:50 am): and my teacher was like... "Are you hurting yourself?" And I looked at my wrist and was like "Nope, just have a kitten that decided to take it's revenge by making me look suicidal."
SuperxSamness (07:51 am): aaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha
Canadian Sunburn (07:51 am): I won't mention how I smashed my toe loading mom's car for work and then ended up dropping things on it yesturday
SuperxSamness (07:51 am): you should have said "Yes, I'm practicing for right after I take ALL OF YOU out"

SuperxSamness (06:11 pm): RACHEY
SuperxSamness (06:11 pm): KILL DOMINOS PIZZA WITH ME
SuperxSamness (06:11 pm): PLEASE?
Canadian Sunburn (06:11 pm): SAM!
Canadian Sunburn (06:11 pm): YES
Canadian Sunburn (06:11 pm): *kills them*
SuperxSamness (06:11 pm): YAY
SuperxSamness (06:12 pm): THANK YOU!

Kat!

SuperxSamness (03:54 pm): someone called me blonde today
katofmusic (03:54 pm): *giggles*
SuperxSamness (03:54 pm): oh. I clobbered someone today too
katofmusic (03:54 pm): were you very flattered ^_^
katofmusic (03:54 pm): does that have anything to do with being called blonde?

(Us talking about me and my friend Alex)
SuperxSamness (04:35 pm): we have an odd sort of friendship made of mockery, violence, and candy
SuperxSamness (04:35 pm): but he's my friend ^_^
katofmusic (04:36 pm): mockery violence and candy
katofmusic (04:36 pm): you should put that somewhere on tpo :P
(that I did, Kat, that I did)

katofmusic (02:13 pm): Jat here.
katofmusic (02:15 pm): ...okay, so my name isn't jat.
katofmusic (02:15 pm): but my name is three letters long and it starts with the letter after j in the alphabet.
katofmusic (02:17 pm): jine. je jat jay.

SuperxSamness (02:42 pm): so. I found that popcorn was a side invention WAY less important than Percy Spencer's main invention the microwave. it was an indirect test
katofmusic (02:42 pm): lol
katofmusic (02:42 pm): he used corn to test the microwave?
SuperxSamness (02:42 pm): apparently
SuperxSamness (02:42 pm): and an egg exploded
katofmusic (02:43 pm): o_o
katofmusic (02:43 pm): i want to try that

katofmusic (08:33 pm): ?: ( : ) D
katofmusic (08:33 pm): piggy

SuperxSamness (04:17 pm): STOPDISTRACTINGMEEEEEEE
SuperxSamness (04:17 pm): *ignores kat*
katofmusic (04:17 pm): HEY.
katofmusic (04:17 pm): i'm the bestestest distraction evah.

katofmusic (06:47 pm): look it's a sam :3
Auto Response from SuperxSamness (06:47 pm): I don't want to talk to you unless your name is three letters long and starts with J.
katofmusic (06:47 pm): jat here :3
SuperxSamness (06:48 pm): no
SuperxSamness (06:48 pm): not jat
SuperxSamness (06:48 pm): you're kat
katofmusic (06:48 pm): i'm not?
katofmusic (06:48 pm): GASP.
katofmusic (06:48 pm): *takes off her jon mask*
katofmusic (06:48 pm): you got me.
katofmusic (06:48 pm): it was the beard wasn't it
SuperxSamness (06:48 pm): yes
katofmusic (06:48 pm): i knew i shoul dhave gotten a newer model
SuperxSamness (06:48 pm): *nodnod*
katofmusic (06:49 pm): :/ darn. my plan has been foiled by mediocre costumes!
SuperxSamness (06:49 pm): you get what you pay for, and you are apparently cheap
SuperxSamness (06:49 pm): as I have caught you
katofmusic (06:49 pm): i am.
katofmusic (06:50 pm): in more ways than one, apparently
SuperxSamness (06:50 pm): *nodnod*

SuperxSamness (08:55 pm): gah
SuperxSamness (08:55 pm): that man
SuperxSamness (08:55 pm): argues
SuperxSamness (08:55 pm): and he always wins
katofmusic (08:56 pm): but of course
katofmusic (08:56 pm): he's jon.
SuperxSamness (08:56 pm): he has the power of persuarion and pizza rolls behind him
katofmusic (08:56 pm): yes, the pizza rolls make him more powerful

SuperxSamness (10:06 pm): question
SuperxSamness (10:06 pm): why do you say chicken butt every time someone says quess what?
katofmusic (10:07 pm): because it rhymes
SuperxSamness (10:07 pm): no it doesnt
katofmusic (10:09 pm): ....yes it does.
SuperxSamness (10:09 pm): only in texas
katofmusic (10:09 pm): what butt
katofmusic (10:09 pm): of course it rhymes
katofmusic (10:09 pm): how do you pronounce what?
SuperxSamness (10:10 pm): i cant spell how I pronounce it
katofmusic (10:10 pm): ...okay
katofmusic (10:10 pm): well
katofmusic (10:10 pm): i pronounce it: 'oooo-uuuuut'
katofmusic (10:10 pm): except with more waaa at the beginning
katofmusic (10:10 pm): so....
SuperxSamness (10:10 pm): weirdo
katofmusic (10:10 pm): wha ut?
katofmusic (10:11 pm): and then butt is....butt.
SuperxSamness (10:11 pm): i drag the a to make it sound more whaaaaaaaaaat
SuperxSamness (10:11 pm): like wat
katofmusic (10:11 pm): wat?
katofmusic (10:11 pm): like....hat?
katofmusic (10:11 pm): except with a w?
SuperxSamness (10:11 pm): yeah
SuperxSamness (10:12 pm): that makes what
katofmusic (10:12 pm): ....Wat. HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

katofmusic (09:58 pm): saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamalamadingdong

SuperxSamness (09:00 pm): creepy bus stop man did not get me
SuperxSamness (09:00 pm): the monster in the basement did
katofmusic (09:01 pm): damnit!
katofmusic (09:01 pm): stupid adium
katofmusic (09:01 pm): anywho
katofmusic (09:01 pm): aw! i hate that monster, he steals all our hot water
SuperxSamness (09:01 pm): that *******!
katofmusic (09:01 pm): hellz yeah
SuperxSamness (09:01 pm): we shall go monster hunting one night
SuperxSamness (09:02 pm): because they're not there in the day
katofmusic (09:02 pm): hellz yeah
katofmusic (09:02 pm): *gets her sharp pointy objects*
SuperxSamness (09:02 pm): *gets her sharp pointy object sharpener*
katofmusic (09:02 pm): yay!
SuperxSamness (09:02 pm): you attack the monster, and I'll hold the flashlight
katofmusic (09:03 pm): YES.
katofmusic (09:03 pm): *dives into basement*
SuperxSamness (09:03 pm): ^_^
SuperxSamness (09:03 pm): *follows slowly after, staying at the bottom of the stairs*
SuperxSamness (09:04 pm): kat!
SuperxSamness (09:04 pm): it's winter!
SuperxSamness (09:04 pm): the water in the basement froze
katofmusic (09:04 pm): o-o
SuperxSamness (09:04 pm): you can't dive in there
katofmusic (09:04 pm): *skates while she keels the monster*


Okay. Few Bartsch quotes I remember: (Bartsch is my Socials teacher)

"You can go to the Caf, Bunny. Bunny bunny bunny. *flicks ears*" (to me wearing my mouse hat. Not bunny.)

Bartsch: Fine, my favourite Newfie can answer this one.
Me (wearing my mouse hat): ......I don't know. I'm not sure it's right.
Bartsch (in a bad falsetto): "OOOOOOOOH, I don't know! I'm not sure! I'm wearing my stupid hat!"
Me: XD Russia, due to the Scorched Earth Policy
(I got it right, FYI)

"I could get fired for saying that. Oh well, I don't care. I WANT to get fired!!!" (on speaking the truth about the Conservative government)

(talking to me about the kids who set off the pepper spray bomb)

"When we catch them, and we WILL catch them, we'll line them all up and you can kick them in the balls, okay Sam?"

(ditto)

"I'll hold 'em down, and you help me kick the sh!t out of them, ok?"

<333333333 Bartsch. ok. Work!

Customer: I'll have a large orgasm, please
Mallory: ........o-o;;;
Customer: *eyeroll* Caramel Corretto

Customer: I'll have a large Caramel...****ing...Coretto.

Customer: So, you going out to have some drinks after work?
Steph: Not with you!

Me: *continuously tries to roll pennies in twoonie rolls*
Jitka: What are you doing?
Me: Rolling the pennies. Duh.
Jitka:.......AHAHAHA. Sam. You're stupid.

Jitka: Don't talk to me of Florida. I'm jealouse.
Me: Awww.
Jitka: *glare*
Me: Want me to bring you back Mickey ears?
Jitka: ...........yes

Jitka: It's my birthday tomorrow!
Me: How old are you turning?
Jitka: 29!
Me: 29? Really?
Jitka: Uh-huh! 29, every year! :D

Bartsch: (talking about a member of the conservative party going to Africa) And when she arrives, there will be people protesting her arrival!
Kat: Why?
Me: Because she's Conservative!

Minoru Inoue
11-19-2006, 02:50 AM
Chibi-chan: I have to see Gone with the Wind if it has dragons in it!

Chibi-chan: It's a good series -- you should never watch it.


*Rachel and I are sitting in the cafeteria at 4:30*
Rachel: I like to come here early, because then the hungry masses haven't gotten to the food yet.
Me: ... There's food here?
Rachel: *cracks up* You have a point.



ETA: (This line made me laugh so loudly for so long, my roommate got scared)

Howard: To the intersexual- homosection- dammit, intersection!


Sam: If I were a confusing gay slave, what would I mean?


Kitty112087: So you're... the lady on the place in the thing I'm in
Kitty112087: =)
SuperxSamness: .........is it sad that I understood that COMPLETELY?

Minoru Inoue
12-04-2006, 04:22 AM
This is probably totally against the rules, but I'm tired of editing my above post.

(Background: So we found out Jessica only listens to bubblegum pop. She said, "So sue me," so we decided that we would.)

Caitlin (as judge): What are the charges against the defendant?
Alex (as prosecution lawyer): She is charged on the count of ruining music, your honor.
Caitlin: How does the defendant plea?
Jessica: Insanity, your honor.

Me (as prosecutor A): Does it help that I slept with the judge?
Caitlin: Now let's not talk about last night, honey
Me: ^_~ sure, babe.

Caitlin: Do you find the defendant to be a flight risk?
Alex: Yes, your honor.
Me and Chibi-chan (as prosecutors A and B): Oooh~
Alex: yeah, I decided to be the really mean prosecutor. *grins evilly*

Caitlin: *asks about us suing for money or sticking Jessica in jail; I can't remember all the fancy words*
Chibi-chan and I: *exchange looks*
Alex: Jail, your honor.
Caitlin: What shall bail be set at?
Alex: *eyes begin to shine* $500,000, your honor.
Me: YESSSS! We can put ourselves through college!
Alex: Um... that money goes to the government.
Me: ... Really? Aww, shoot...

Caitlin: I've been watching too much Law and Order...

Caitlin: *bangs spoon on table as judge's mallet... thingie* Bail is set at $500,000.
Me: o.o We won? Was last night really that good? ^_~

Forgotten Angel
12-04-2006, 05:11 AM
Megan: "Tch, yah!"

^ Just because I find it so amusing the way she does that. XD

Alli: "Mommy, I want a lesbian for Christmas!"

Amanda: "People are like bananas; the greener they are, the worse they taste."

Emily: "Was Oscar Wilde gay?"

Alyssa: "You are a very domestic feminine man."

Alyssa: "It's called 'metrosexual.'"

Ryan: "I love crabs!"

Megan: "Dude, I don't even know the names of half of the bands I listen to and you know the name of the guitarist's brother?! Stalker much?"
Me: "What? Anyone who is a zealous Aiden fan knows who Troy is...."

(For those who are not zealous Aiden fans: Troy is the brother of one of the guitarists from Aiden, Jake W. He also runs the merch stand for Aiden at concerts. Really nice guy. Even got a quote from him here! *points below*)

Me: "Can I try on the medium?"
Troy: "Are you serious? It'll swallow you whole!"
Me: "....but I like baggy sweatshirts."
Troy: "This isn't a baggy sweatshirt. This is a hungry sweatshirt and it is going to eat you alive if you really want to try a medium. Do me a favor and just try on the extra small? Pleeeeease?"
Me: "Fine." *tries it on* "Too small."
Troy: 0.0;
Me: "Small should be just right, though!" ^_^
Troy: ".....I told you medium would be too big." -_-;

I gave him an extra big tip, though. XD The guy's a sweetheart, really.

Megan: "I'm cold! Why did we come here so early?!"
Me: "Because we were supposed to be stuck in traffic for an hour, not ten minutes."

Two of the guys from It Dies Today were at their merch stand.

IDT Guy #1: "What are the chances of you tipping us if I give you a five and five ones?"
Me: "I'd say the chances are pretty good."
IDT Guy #1: "Well then. Here you are."
Me: *tips them $1 each*
IDT Guy #2: "Hey, thanks!"

Megan: "Oh, look! A red blob! And a white blob! Hey, it looks like he's not wearing any pants!"

Megan: "He's still not wearing pants!"
Me: "Yes he is! See?! That's his ass and that's where his pants block out that little piece of background and -"
Megan: "Do you want him to be wearing pants?"
Me: ".......he's not wearing any pants."

(The following two quotes are about the band He Is Legend.)

Megan: "I approve!"

Me: "DUDE! They look like a bunch of rednecks! Except they're rockers!"
Megan: "And they're totally stoned or something."

(And about I Killed the Prom Queen....)

Megan: "They sound like someone gave a bunch of three-year-olds instruments and told them to go make loud noise."

IKTPQ's Vocalist: "WODDAFOXUPNIEWJEUZEY?!"

^ Spelled phonetically

Megan: "They can say New Jersey. They're okay by me."

^ About It Dies Today

wiL: *pulls kid up on stage* "You crowdsurfed without music. Sit the **** down."

Mrs. Lavin: "I'll tell them it was my mistake. I'll tell them I was delirious. They'll believe me."

Paul: "Are you serious? I get to pick a CD and own it? Dude. I haven't done that in six years."

Pat: "He didn't do the baby thing."

Mr. Struck: "I think we'll destroy the stock market next class."

Tracey: "Do you think Pluto is a planet?"
Mr. Cappuccio: "Pluto is Goofy's dog."

Mr. Cappuccio: "Why is there no air on the moon?"
Ryan: "Because God didn't want there to be."

Michele: "That's why they say, 'It's, like a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!'"

Sasha: "He keeps bothering me and whispering gay things in my ear."

Sasha: "Excuse me. Pardon me. Lady with a baby coming through."

Lauren: "Happy mother****ing birthday, *****!"

Greg: "I got out of the shower last night and my body was 50 degrees hotter than the air. There was steam coming off of me! I touched myself, but I didn't burn."

Greg: "If a blind guy is walking towards this huge pole, he's going to walk into it because it's still there, even though he can't see it. It's part of his reality!"

Shelby: "SHADOWCAKE!"

On a sign at Spencer's: "When you get drunk, please consider our couch is an alternative to crashing. If you drive drive drunk, feel free to crash on our couch."

Mike: "Do you know how many times I've been called emo this month?"

Me: someday, i am going o find something that is simple. and i will cling to it and be all "I FOUND YOU!" and never let it go because it will probably be the one thing in the world that actually makes sense.
Mike: simple things dont make sense, thats what makes them simple and enjoyable
Me: wanna know what makes sense? 1+1=2. simple AND logical.
Mike: prove that 1+1=2...
Me: not by the numerical symbols. by the physical quantities. the terms "one" "plus" "equals" and "two" are simply the words we use to represent the quantities.
Me: and how they are related
Mike: thats complicated
Mike: ^_^
Me: not really
Mike: it is if you look at it the right way
Me: why bother? :-P
Mike: if you eliminate the words that represent One, plus, two, and equals
Mike: then you cant prove to me that 1 plus 1 equals 2
Mike: bc they dont exist
Mike: thus something that looks simple
Mike: can be very complicated
Me: NONEXISTENT CONVERSATIONS! *misses those things*

Me: random: so, yesterday in NYC, me, my cousin and her fiancé, my other cousin, my sister and brother, and these two other little kids we met on the playground near my grandparents' apartment played a girls vs. boys softball game. XD and one of those two other kids looked at me and asked the other kid if i was a boy or a girl. XD

Rachey: what makes you think Eden-sama would have a hit list?
Me: ....because he's Eden.

Rachey: but yeah
Rachey: I kept expecting Gabe to be out, and like scolding him or telling him off for his bad driving and all
Me: hahahahaha
Rachey: I was like snickering the entire movie
Rachey: and not because of the movie
Rachey: but because it was like "HAHA! Eden almost ran over Tom Cruise!"

Rachey: and I somehow forgot to care about Tom Cruise, I was like "You can kill him all you want! Just no killing Eden!" And like after all the big explosions I was all looking at the screen like "WHERE'S EDEN?"
Me: awww
Rachey: but he doesn't die
Me: eh, no one cares about Tom
Me: YAY!
Rachey: he just like, almost gets blown up a couple times
Rachey: but Eden is indestructable
Me: typical eden ^_^
Me: goes looking for thrills :-P
Rachey: so a few minor explosions are nothing
Rachey: I could see Gabe just like sweatdropping with the whole wide > O.O < eye thing happening
Me: hahah
Rachey: and then Eden being like *walks out of fire unharmed* and Gabe being "YAY!"

Rachey: wait!
Rachey: EMO PEOPLE SMILE?

Me: "I GOT A TRIBBLE!"

Me: *squeeeeeeeetacklesnuggleglompluffsnoghuggle*
Rachey: *dies of affection*

Rachey: I wanna watch Eden run over Tom Cruise, or almost run him over but meh, again
Me: i want to see that too XD
Rachey: I think it was the fact that Eden was driving that made me so happy

Rachey: He'll wonder why he can't make you happy. Do you smile for him or laugh--ever?
Rachey: Inner!Eden: Yes! Yes he does! He smiles and laughs and... Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe tell him!

Rachey: our boy has a name!
Me: yay!
Rachey: *feels like a proud parent*
Me: OMGs. i was JUST about to say the exact same thing!
Rachey: lmao
Rachey: we're proud parents

Me: *hasn't died yet*
Rachey: so I've noticed

Rachey: would your friends try to attack me if I tried to steal you so nothing bad could ever happen to you?
Me: yeah, they'd attack you. or at least, megan would. but then i'd be all, "MEGAN! run away to canada with me!"
Me: and she'd be like, "DUDE yes!"





And that's enough for one day, I think. But I have more.

More than Music
12-04-2006, 05:53 AM
^ (O)_o Woh. That's alot of posts. LOL!

Mine:

My brother: "Noob!"
Me: "I'm not a noob!"
My brother: "Noob!"

My brother: "Hey, Jiffy Lube!"
Me: "What?"

MaskedNicci(to my mom while I'm singing): "Don't! She's in the bubble."
Me(singing): "I couldn't be happier!"

(My brother walks up, wearing my sister's sunglasses over his glasses.
Me: "Weirdo."
My brother: "You got my in big trouble. I thought they were your's." (enter my laugh)
~~~~~

Love the Lie
12-12-2006, 07:20 AM
Dad driving, I'm the passanger. Constant joke between the two of us.

Dad: Should I pull out in front of this guy?
Me: Doing your missionary work again?
Dad: Just contimplating... but I was told I can only do that on days that end with 'Y'.
Me: Dad, today does end in 'Y'!
Dad: Oh. Well you could have told me that earlier, he's already gone.

Dad: Should I?
Me: YES!
Dad: Oh! I can't! It's not Sunday!
Me: It is so.

Me driving...

Me: Can I do the missionary work?
Dad: I told you! You don't have the license for that yet!

Me: Can I make this guy pray?
Dad: He already is. He knows your behind the wheel.

Me: Driver picks the music.
Dad: Then pretend I'm driving.
Me: I'll pretend, as long as you leave it on London's Best Rock!
Dad: Just drive
Me: I'll sing if you change it.
Dad: Fine! *doesn't change it*

Me: Can I drive?
Dad: No, we have to get there.
Me: Okay. *while dad is in tool shed, hops into drivers seat and unlocks passenger seat.*
Dad: *hops into passenger seat and hands me the keys.*
Me: *evil laughter*
Dad: Doh! I'm driving!
Me: Too late now. I've got the keys and the drivers seat. Buckle up, Buttercup!
Dad: You're a rotten child.

---

Supporting Dad.

Dad: You need to get rich and famous and support me in a lifestyle that I can become accoustomed to.
Me: I'll pay you a penny a day.
Dad: Okay... wait - that's only $3.65 a year... Can I apply for a raise?
Me: No.
Dad: Rotten child.

---

My brother crashed his car.

Me: Is he okay?
Tow Truck Guy: I've seen people die in less than this.
Me: >.< Okay, so he's alive but is he okay?
Tow Truck Guy: I don't know.

Me: Nice job to your car, idiot.
Brother: Yeah. I know.

Me: I know you were nervous about the dance and all, but next time don't practice with your car and a tree.

Amanda (My Boss): RACHEL! What are you doing here if your brothers in the hospital?
Me: He's not! He's at home resting cause he's an idiot and he hit his head when he danced with the tree.
Amanda: I'm glad he's okay.
Me: Yeah, his cars dead though.

---

Tales of work.

Me: *answers phone* New Orleans Pizza. How am I? *cracks up laughing as she realizes what she's said*

Me: *answering phone* Kings... no not Kings... New Magic... GAH! NEW Orleans PIZZA! That's it, how may I help you?

Richard: Who'd you get? (Secret Santa)
Me: I'm not telling.
Richard: That's not a dead give away!
Me: It's not you. While you were over there pulling yourself---
Richard: THAT IS A FILTHY RUMOR!
Me: Admit it. You were pulling yourself and you liked it.

Helen: You know you have glitter on your face?
Me: Yes, me and my kids were doing glitter angels today.
Richard: Thank God you said that! I thought the drugs from the 80's were kicking in. Either that or Rachel was angelic.
Helen and I: *look at each other and laugh*

Me: *singing at top of lungs to Moondance by Van Morrison while sweeping floor and dancing.* [i]CAN I JUST HAVE---- *turns around to see customers standing there giggling* How may I help you? ^_^'

Ryan: I need a quickie.
Me: *stares blankly*
Ryan: What's wrong?
Me: ...Gutter....Minded.
Ryan: Oh right... this is Rachel I'm talking too.

Erik
12-14-2006, 07:26 AM
Me: I gave Doctor Salmon my oral today. He said it was excellent!
Caroline: *cracks up laughing*
Me: . . . not THAT kind of oral!

Alex: Adressing Mr. Kolslog, the student teacher. Hey, Special K!

Brandon (Caroline's boyfriend) to Caroline: Don't make me hurt you!
Me: *scoffs* She'd like it.
Caroline: HEY! I only like it when it's with you, Sam!
Brandon: .........WHAT.

Me: Like my POTO shirt? Because I saw Phantom and you didn't? And see my POTO pin? Because I saw Phantom and you didn't? And . . .
Amber: F_ck you!

Random girl on bus: I loooooooooooove your hat!!!

Tiffany: You're reading 'The Cruciable'? I read that last year.
Me: Yeah, I'm at the part where this Elizabeth Proctor chick gets arrested and she's like "*****, no."
Tiffany: *blink* . . . XD

Martina: Welcome to Second Cup, may I take your order?
Guy: I'll have a large no foam latte.
Martina: Okey dokey!!!!

Me (on the phone with dad): The STUPID CAT won't stop meowing.
Dad: Kick it.
Me: . . . que?
Dad: You heard me.

(I feel it is neccesairy to indulge the fact that he was kidding)

Me: MAKE ME SOME SUPPER!
K Lu: HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL NO!

Minoru Inoue
12-14-2006, 10:36 PM
(You'll get these better if you see Evil Dead. If you haven't seen Evil Dead, HOMYGODYOUHAVETOGOSEEITRUNTOTHEMOVIERENTALPLACEALR EADY!!!)

Scotty (character): *all covered in blood, about to die* The trees... they know what we're doing...
Me: Oh, my god -- it's like Narnia!!
Kerri: *dies laughing*

Me: Fake blood makes me hungry.

*the undead characters bleed blood and... milk*
Me: Milk?!!
Kerri: The FCC said that if they used any more blood, the rating would have to go up.

Me: Okay, I'm fine with fake blood. You know, it makes me hungry. But the MILK is REEEEALLLY grossing me out!

Me: OMFG RICE PUDDING?!!

More than Music
12-15-2006, 01:15 AM
Me*with bad throat, typing*: 'Why do I sound like I'm croaking when ever I talk?'
MaskedNicci*leaning over my short shoulder*: You're so asking for it.
Me: I know. ;)


Mom*reading my 6-year-old sister's Christmas list*: Rooowal?
Me: What?
Mom: Raoul? How is Raoul spelt?
Me: *feeling really stupid* Uhhhhhhhhh... R... A... Ugh. *runs over to MaskedNicci* How do you spell Raoul? I feel really stupid to have forgotten.
MaskedNicci: R, a, o, u, l.
Me: Thanks! *runs back to mom* R, a, o, u, l.
Mom: Okay.
Me: Hold on, let me look at that list for a second.
Mom: *hands it over*
Me: *laughs* R, o, w,o, o, l? *laughs again*

Why So Silent
12-18-2006, 04:05 AM
A delightful little conversation about the weather and ...it's effects on wardrobe between J and myself.

Kat: what's the weather like in kentucky?
Kat: like...right now
J: pretty nice actually
Kat: because it's around 70 degrees right now
J: sickeningly nice for December
Kat: and i'm wearing shorts.
Kat: and a tank top.
Kat: wonderful winter weather.
J: I'm not wearing a shirt
J: but I am wearing jeans
Kat: ...one can only hope
J: and I had the AC on yesterday
J: okay
Kat: that was mean ^_^
J: <-- guy allowed to not wearing shirt in own house
Kat: i was saying 'one can only hope' that you were wearing pants
J: lol
Kat: not sure if you're allowed to run around naked in your house
J: it's not naked!
J: lol
Kat: i would think that'd be weird and creepy
J: I don't have a shirt on cause I was doing yoga earlier
Kat: tighty whities don't count
J: though I did put jeans on later
J: OMG
Kat: o-o;
J: you think I wear tighty whities!
J: is mortally offended
Kat: HAHAHAHAHA
Kat: oh fine.
Kat: thongs.
J: *shudder*
Kat: pardon my slip up
Kat: hehehehe boxers
J: ... sorta
Kat: ...how do you have 'sorta' boxers
J: lol
Kat: are they boxer briefs? ...
J: yeah
Kat: why are we talking about your underwear?
J: I have no idea
J: you brought it up
Kat: ME? no
J: yeah
J: I was talking about the unusual weather
Kat: you were the one that was talking about running around your house naked and how it was warm enough not to have to wear a shirt
Kat: because you got offended
J: you are the one who turned it into something perverts
Kat: that 'naked' isn't the same as 'in underwear'
J: would discuss
Kat: ... like us?
J: admit it...confession is good for the soul
Kat: i don't have mine right now
J: I'm gonna go fix some pizza rolls
Kat: i lent it out
Kat: you crack dealer
J: when I get back you have two options
Kat: gasp! an ultimatum
J: we change the subject or talk about your underwear
J: I would go with A
Kat: aw you don't want to talk about my underwear?
J: dont' think I coudl talk about your underwear without feeling like a child molester
Kat: *pats*
J: besides ... I'm sure that's why your second thought was thongs anyway
so there's no point in asking
Kat: ... -__-
Kat: stfu j
J: LOL
J: I think that's the first time I've earned that response from you
Kat: ...i believe so
Kat: ...so, i'm going to cut myself out of this stickily awkward silence to go see if i can wrangle up some muses to post with
J: I don't think I have EVER stunned you to silence before
J: *feels victorious*
Kat: > : '
Kat: *grumbles at her defeat*
Kat: sam is amused by our underwear exchange
Kat: ...the conversation, not that i'd trade underwear with you
J: LOL
J: somehow....
Kat: because that'd be kind of weird
J: I doubt I could fit into yours
Kat: they're pretty stretchy
Kat: so you may very well fit into them
J: thongs are uncomfortable on my balls
J: sorry
Kat: .....
J: now I'm trying to stun you
Kat: .....
J: is it working?
Kat: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kat: *takes deep breath*
Kat: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Minoru Inoue
12-21-2006, 10:40 PM
XD OMFG, nothing beats that, Kat...

(On another website)
Sorceror: Did anyone see that Gambino mansion is exploded again?
Sushii: Oh, no! What if Gino was inside?! *worried*
Me: Dun worry, Sushii. Gino will don his Mask of Awesomeness and, like, lift burning pillars and stuff...
... he did it last time.
(He did.)

Me: *watching season zero of Yu-Gi-Oh because I can* HOLYCRAP!!! O______O Megumi Ogata does the voice of Yugi! *really really likes the Japanese version now* *drools uncontrollably*

Me: If any of you don't know who Megumi Ogata is, I'm throwing all my anime at you.
Smapy: *takes up shield*
Me: *throws anime along with Ogata-san's resumee*
Smapy: ZOMG you've got to be kidding me! O:
*catches all the anime and runs of in fangirlish glee*
I love her already. <3
Me: *proud* I have created another squealing, screaming Ogata fangirl. My work is complete. YOSH!

Me: X3 I'm having fun watching Season Zero of Yu-gi-oh. It's kinda awful -- but in a really sexy way. XP Since Ogata-san is in it. Ogata makes any anime sexy.

(And of course I forgot the quotes I was the most excited about putting up...)

The Khanum
12-22-2006, 04:25 AM
Oh, man. Good times, right here. Good times. *Nods*

---

Car full of people: *Is playing padiddle*
Everyone else: *Sees a car with one headlight* PADIDDLE!
KT & April: *Sarcastically* Oh, darn. *Strips*

Shannon: I'm taking you out to sushi with us on Wednesday.
KT: ...Would you shun me if I said I never tried sushi?
Shannon: Of course not. That means I get to steal your sushi virginity.

Meghan: Are you a lesbian?
KT: Only half the time.

KT: *Is given keys to go out and get her camera, which she left in friend's car*
Shannon & Joe: *Wait for twenty minutes*
KT: *Comes back* ...I can't get it open.
Joe: *Sigh* Fine. *Goes out with KT to open his car*
KT: ...Wait, THAT'S your car?!

Car full of people: *Is driving home*
KT: *Is completely topless and totally comfortable as such in the backseat*
Brian: You are a trucker's wet dream.

Group of friends: *Is sitting in our buddy Matt's living room, chatting with his mom*
Matt's mom: *Turns to KT* So where do you want to go to college?
KT: ...I'm not quite sure.
Matt's mom: Well, what do you want to do?
Matt: She's going to go by the name Fantasy69 and dance on a pole.

KT: *Reads from a card during the game Apples to Apples* ...Leather in a coma?
Joe: That's what happens when you don't give the safety word in time.

Pyromaniac
12-22-2006, 05:16 AM
So after searching and searching my memory for a quote that I really enjoy, I found one! I don't know who said it though and you'll have to forgive how short this is, I'm not big on quoting.

"Procrastinate, it makes you look busier"

Minoru Inoue
12-27-2006, 05:02 AM
*We're sitting in my room, with Caitlin playing with the lock to my trunk. I'm doing a speech, and then I hear a click*
Me: O.O What'd you just do?!
Caitlin: ... I opened the lock?
Me: *pleasant* Oh, really? What's the combination; I forgot it?
Caitlin: ... the key...

(over AIM)
nothingatxall: KEIJI TO ZEE RESDUEEE
nothingatxall: resdue >_>
nothingatxall: OH FOR CHRIST SAKES


Edit: (This one is from years ago)
Henry: I think in my next life, I'd really like to be a bra.


Me: *calling Lisa on the phone* Lisa! Love of my life! Eye of my corn! Rock of my stone!


AIM w/ da Shadow!

Kitty112087: Sooooooooo
Kitty112087: There's a sloth
Kitty112087: an envy
Kitty112087: I likie ze envy
Kitty112087: a greed
Kitty112087: a gluttony
kilIingxtime: lol
Kitty112087: which are you?
kilIingxtime: i'm greed
Kitty112087: greed!
Kitty112087: that's right
Kitty112087: OK
Kitty112087: silly question
Kitty112087: you're gonna laugh
Kitty112087: it's so silly
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: you ready?
Kitty112087: are you sitting down?
Kitty112087: Here it comes:
Kitty112087: Who is lust?
Kitty112087: XDD KT
kilIingxtime: KT, of course
Kitty112087: where's her sig?
kilIingxtime: it's there somewhere
Kitty112087: *sigh*
Kitty112087: fine
Kitty112087: okay
Kitty112087: we have
Kitty112087: Wrath, greed, gluttony, sloth, envy,
Kitty112087: missing one
Kitty112087: lust!!
Kitty112087: right
Kitty112087: still missing one
Kitty112087: my math skills suck
kilIingxtime: that's six :-P
kilIingxtime: pride?
Kitty112087: PRIDE!!!!
Kitty112087: *dies*

Erik
01-01-2007, 06:43 AM
Customer: I'd like a half hot chocolate-haf coffee please.
Rachel: Okay, please drive up.
Me (trying to be cool conbining words): Hey, Rachel? Can you see if he wants whip cream on his Hot Cocklet?

::long pause::

Me: ........wait.
Rachel: What did you just say!?
Christina: Well, we all know what's on SAM'S mind tonight
Me: *dies laughing*
Christina: Lonely, Sam?

::telling Nadya the story::

Nadya: Only you....only you

------

Me: .......aw. Sam has no one to kiss in an hour and 43 mins
Nadya: awww
Nadya: I'd cyber kiss you but it's not the same
Me: *pouts*

::talking about Jon's kitty::

Me: I want his kitty
Nadya: I'M a kitty! *cough*
Me: XD
Me: Nadya, does this mean i want you?
Me: *winkwink*
Nadya: you tell me, Sam?
Nadya: ...do you?
Nadya: :p
Me: XD

----

This was me talking to my friend Nick from back home. And possibly my friend Anna?

Nick: ok she's hither
Me: Annaaaaaa
Nick: hellooooo!
Nick: how are youa
Nick: /
Nick says: ?
Me: I'm a gooda
Nick: OOPS
Me: lol
Nick: CHEESE?
Me: YES
Me: I am cheese
Nick: that was nick!
Me: gaaah
Me: who am I talking to now?
Nick: uhhhhhhhh anna/nick
Me: annick?
Nick: yep
Me: well then
Me: that's not at all confusing
Nick: nor is a hospital

----

Aha. I miss my friends. I get lost in hospitals, just FYI.

---

Anna: but my keyboard isa retarded
Anna: lk'jhkggdsa
Anna: PONY!
Me: pony...
Me: lol.
Me: ok
Anna: do it up
Me: had a few tonight?
Anna: yep! just a few

---

Minoru Inoue
01-04-2007, 06:06 AM
(Shadow and me on AIM)
Kitty112087: so I'm watching an anime
Kitty112087: and while I watch it
Kitty112087: I look up the names of the characters
Kitty112087: to see who the voice actors are
Kitty112087: then I look up the voice actors resumee
Kitty112087: and pictures
Kitty112087: ^^;;;;;;;;
Kitty112087: and if I don't recognize something on their resumee
Kitty112087: I look up their character on google image search
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: does this make me a really freaky stalker?
kilIingxtime: lol. yeah, probably

(Now Gloria and me on AIM in regards to posts)
(For backstory reference, I had a dream about eating doughnuts, and my psychology major friend interprited it in a Freudian manner. Very pervy.)

Kitty112087: OMG
Kitty112087: "eat a doughnut"
Kitty112087: XDDDD
Kitty112087: Freud!!!
PhantMus: *chokes on coke*
PhantMus: XDDD!
Kitty112087: Well, now I know what Ilia was thinking in regards to Roza
Kitty112087: ^_~


PhantMus: OMG!
PhantMus: She's slutty!
Kitty112087: O_O
PhantMus: Rosa is
Kitty112087: XDD


(Now my favorite quote from Yu-Gi-Oh! the abridged series)
Marik: *evil voice* I am your friend. Come over here and let me cut you--
I mean hug you. Hug is what I meant.

Forgotten Angel
01-07-2007, 03:11 AM
On the phone with KT today....

Me: "My friend Melissa has a bright blue sweatshirt that says in rainbow letters 'Cheer Up Emo Kid'."
KT: "I've seen those! ...The How To Be Emo vid is funny."
Me: "Mike is an emo kid."
KT: "Aww, I love Mike!"
Me: "So do I, but he's still an emo kid. He's my emo kid!"
[Later in the conversation...]
Me: "KT, my ankle hurts. KT, make my ankle better!"
KT: "Um, be better emo - I mean - !"
Me: *dies laughing* "I'm putting that in the quote thread! Right now!"

More quotes to be added later. ^_^

ETA

Just editing and adding because no one has posted after me...

KT: gasp! is that a shadow i hear?
Me: shadows make noise? *wasn't aware of this fact*
KT: why, yes. yes, they do. *nods*

Mike: wana know how bacteria ahve sex?
Me: no, not really
Mike: awww
Mike: well i'll tell you anyway
Mike: so be ready, its some pretty steamy stuff
Me: XD
Me: this is going in the quote thread. :-P
Mike: so Okay, the "Male" shoots out a sex pilus which is like this little string that kinda just goes WEEEEEEEE until it comes incontact with a "female", then, acting like a grapling hooik, it pulls the female in (even if she screams no), and tranfers its DNA into the female, and then releases it. the end
Me: ..............................
Mike: its much more interesting then the other two ways bacteria have sex
Mike: one involves "dead bodies" and the other involves parasites

Rachey: that damned sandman guy, he came and so totally kidnapped me last night
Rachey: it was a long hard struggle to get away from him too

Genna: "You gonna pull out your priestliness on me now?"
Jason: "Yes! I will repair your tainted soul!"
Genna: "Like with super glue?"
Jason: "YES! Like spiritual superglue!"

Me: jesus h. christ.....
Rachey: and why are we praying?
Me: we're not
Me: we're using jesus' name in vain ^_^
Rachey: how do we know that Jesus' middle name started with H?
Me: i dunno. KT and syio say it like that all the time

Rachey: Inner!Eden told me off too
Me: wow. king of self-indulgence told you off? o.o
Rachey: yes

Me: POSTED! Record time!
Me: People are probably wondering where this sudden speed came from XD
Me: explanation: shadow and rachey at 3 AM when they're both actually awake

Me: i am so tempted to wear fangs to school one of these days just to see what would happen when you saw XD
Megan: heehee i'd probably attack you :D
Me: hm..... *plots to test this theory*
Megan: i cannot be held accountable for my actions

Mike: how do you feel ahout existentialism
Me: i think i don't exist. ^_^
Mike: thats not what existentialism is
Me: i don't care

Me: *grins* i love the people at Gypsy Heaven. me and rayna started talking to the woman who was there today about my mother being anti-pagan. the woman was like, "were you brought up catholic?" and we're like, "no, jewish" and she was like, "oh, jewish mothers. they're even worse than catholic mothers when it comes to this stuff. i swear, they're like a whole 'nother species." XD

Me: what is this experiment?
Mike: the experiment
Mike: well I dnot wana say a lot about it
Mike: but its called -The Experiment
Mike: and you might find some of it around the school if you're lucky ^_^
Me: .........................
Mike: haha
Mike: i'm serious
Mike: just look on the floor
Mike: you might find it
Mike: i'm conspiring with a few friends
Mike: and this social experiment
Mike: shall
Mike: uhm
Mike: well
Mike: exist
Mike: ^_^
Me: NO
Me: NOTHING EXISTS!
Me: How can you SAY that?!
Mike: o.O
Mike: bc
Mike: i
Mike: exist
Me: NO YOU DON'T
Mike: yes i do
Me: you can't!
Mike: i can
Mike: bc I do
Me: existing doesn't exist!
Mike: of course it does
Mike: bc i exist
Me: NO YOU DON'T
Mike: do to
Mike: prove it
Me: you can't prove something that doesn't exist -_-
Mike: you cant disprove existance eithir
Mike: either
Me: TDS ^_^
Me: i know that
Mike: shut up
Mike: haha
Mike: so the social experiemtn exists
Me: i'll let you keep thinking that
Me: especially since you can't type "experiment"

Mike: don't you ever just SLEEP
Me: nope
Me: and apparently neither do you
Mike: i can't fall asleep
Mike: my mind keeps thinking
Me: *gasp* it can DO that?!
Me: *is proud*
Mike: ...
Mike: remind me
Mike: to slap you
Mike: tomorrow
Me: nah, don't think i will ^_^
Mike: loser
Me: I know you are but what am I? ^_^
Mike: shadow

And I think that's it for now. There's more in my notebooks, but I'm too lazy to dig them out right now.

Erik
01-13-2007, 08:01 AM
I don't have many, haha, just a few. And just FYI, everything we say at work is a joke, and said sarcastically. lol.

[The new work promotion is "Espresso your love"]
Me: Mallory!
Mal: What?
Me: ESPRESSO YOUR LOVE!
Mal: OK! *clings to Christina*
Christina: ... XD

Christina: Dishes need to be done
Mal + Christina: DIBSOUT!!!!!!
Me: *blink* What?
Mal: You have to do the dishes
Me: But.... but.... I have senority!
Christina: But I'm the supervisor. *evil grin*
Mal: Oh high and mighty supervisor, please tell Sam to do the dishes.
Christina: Sam, do the dishes.
Me: *slumps away*
Christina + Mal: *cackle evilly*

[later]

Christina: Sam! You didn't fill the sweeteners. For someone who has senority, you sure don't know HOW TO DO ANYTHING!
Me: Can you even spell supervisor?
Christina: ......
Me: That's right.

Drive thru: *BEEP*
Me [in deep baritone]: How may I help you?
Mal [in normal voice]: How may I help you?
Christina [in high pitched voice]: How may I help you!?
Drive thru customer:.....AHAHAHAHAHA. *gives order*
Me [in deep baritone]: Is that all?
Customer [rudely interrupting]: Yes.
Mal [in normal voice]: Is that all?
Christina [in high pitched voice]: Is that all!?
Customer: Well, I'm not repeating myself.

[Later]

Drive thru: *BEEP!*
Mal: Welcome
Me: To
Christina: Second
Mal: Cup.
Me: How
Christina: May
Mal: We
Me: Help
Christina: You?
Three of us: *die laughing*
Christina: You two are gonna get me fired....

Mr. Dyck: *plays with thin green strip of material*
Me: What's that?
Mr. D: It's a piece of material that they magnetize and put in books so that the alarm will sound if you walk out of the library with a book. I'm trying to magnatize it.
Me: Why? What are you going to do with it?
Mr. D: I'm going to steal Mr. Begrand's wallet and put it in there, so that every time he walks in or out of the library the alarm will sound, and he won't know why. Don't tell him! *evil grin*
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[the next day, writing the exam for Mr. D's class]

Mr. D: Clinton, you lose 10 points automatically.
Clinton: What? Why?
Mr. D: You told Begrand my plan. *pout*

Mills: I had a headache, so my wife picked up a broom and started poking me in the back with it.
Us: Why?
Mills: She said "Now you know how I feel when I have a headache"

Mills: Me and my wife developed a code. I told her when she wants to have sex, just stroke it three or four times. And if she doesn't want sex, just stroke it three or four hundred times.

Mills: They say a picture's worth a thousand words, but it takes three thousand times the memory.

Morgan: *is doing art homework*
Mills: She's just one of those artist types, y'know? And if you bug her too much or ask her a question, she'll say "I don't know, do you want me to draw you A PICTURE?"

Alex: You look like s***
Me: Thanks. I didn't sleep last night
Alex: I could tell
Me: *glare

[Jitka is our night manager, who teaches me and Mallory random Czech phrases. She's gone to the Czech (her home) for three weeks to surprise her mom and see her new boyfriend. Earlier, Jitka told Christina she'd kiss her for finding a replacement on New Year's. Jitka has promised me Czech chocolate]

Me: I want my Czech chocolate
Christine: What!? I WANT CHOCOLATE!!!
Me: I'm going to text message her.

Our text message to Jitka: Christina says she wants Czech chocolate too, because she never got that kiss. Mallory says "ahoy". I miss you, but I hope you're having fun :D

Me: She hasn't replied yet. Is she still in the airport?
Mallory: *walks into the room
Christina: No, she's sexing up her boyfriend
Me: Or sleeping
Christina: Or sexing up her boyfriend THEN sleeping
Me: Or sleeping, THEN sexing up her boyfriend
Mallory: ....ok?

Forgotten Angel
01-13-2007, 11:22 PM
Only one for now. I'll add mroe later tonight.

[Upon reading the words on a Scrabble board in a movie, which are too inappropriate to post here...]
Me: Wow. That must be what it looks like when one plays Scrabble with KT....

Yep. More to add later. I just had to post that one now. ^_^

ETA

Mike: what would happen if you put a man who knwos everything and understands nothing and a man who knows nothing but understand everything together?
Me: you'd get a man who knows everything and nothing and who understands everything and nothing - all at the same time.
Mike: no
Mike: not if you put them together physically
Mike: to make one man
Mike: what if you put them together
Mike: in the same pleace
Me: a siamese twin
Mike: Shadow just shut up.

Again, more to come.

The Khanum
01-15-2007, 05:00 AM
Haaaaah. Shadow, you make me giggle. If you weren't already my wifey, I'd ask you to marry me. :) Anywho...here's a little conversation I had with my friend Brian. I'll probably add more later. ^__^

Brian: Oh wow...I didn't know you had a webcam.
Me: Yeah. Very useful little tool, there.
Brian: I'm sure. (...) I'm not going to find any videos of you floating around the internet, am I?
Me: ...Umm...that's a very good question. I hope not, for all our sakes.
Brian: Indeed. I couldn't stand being friends with a celebrity.
Me: Especially THAT kind of celebrity.
Brian: ...I don't know, I wouldn't mind knowing a porn star.
Me: Well, I'll let you know if that ever comes to pass.
Brian: You better! ...I'll be your first customer!

I don't know why that made me laugh, but it did. Hahaha. Haaaah. There, see? Laughter.

IamErik771
01-17-2007, 05:01 PM
Hee hee... All of these are from various AIM chats over the past month or so. ^_^


Trin's away message: "Don't make war, make awkward sexual advances."

Me: Why is it that on Adium, the "enter" key makes one cancel a chat request?
KT: because adium apparently hates nymphos?
Me: ... I'm a nympho?
Me: Cooooool!
KT: so james is now a woman with an overly healthy sexual appetite.
KT: *shrugs* works for me.

KT: ...yeah...so zelda's all *on TPO*, but not *on AIM*, which makes me sad.
KT: because i wished to speak with her.
Me: Me toooooo!
Me: *huggles Zelda!plushie*
Sam: *huggles.......self?* I have no plushie
Sam: sad
Me: *gives Sam an extra Zelda!plushie*
Sam: EEEEEE
Sam: *huggles a Zelda!Plushie*
Sam: you keep spares?
Me: What kind of boyfriend do ye think I am? Of course I have spares! XD
KT: see, that right there is dedication.

Faye: A spoonful of sugar...
Me: Helps dialysis go down!
Faye: LMFAO
Me: ...wait.
Me: XD

Me: *cuddles*
Zelda: *cuddles back*
Me: *cuddles front*
Zelda: *cuddles side to side*
Me: *cuddles up and down*
Zelda: *cuddles diagonally*
Me: *cuddles inside out* ... wait.
Me: o.O
Zelda: *bursts out laughing*

Convo with Charlie, in which we discussed the Nintendo Wii:
Charlie: my parents say we can only play with it upstairs though
Charlie: she doesn't want the wii out in the living room
Me: They don't want you displaying your Wii where everyone can see it, eh?

Kat: yay! i'm going iceskating
Me: Whee! When?
Kat: soon : P
Me: Nice.
Me: Dun fall down!
Kat: lols ^_^
Kat: i will
Kat: i'll take pictures for everyone ^_^
Me: Yay!
Me: Of you falling down?
Kat: yeah ^_^;;;
Me: *glomps teh falling Kat*
Me: Well, Kats always land on their feet, right?
Kat: hehehe ^_^ *is glomped and huggled* silly


If anyone else remembers amusing chats I was involved in, feel free to either remind me or post them yourselves. The latter option would probably be faster and more reliable. :D

Erik
01-17-2007, 06:19 PM
Hahahaha. . . Dug into my old AIM convos, JUST for you, Faja. :D

Me: lmao. I was telling my friend you're allergic to chicken....
Me: and this is what we were saying:
Me: Me: Poor boy...allergic to chicken
Me: Her: How can you be allergic to CHICKEN???
Me: us: i LIVE off chicken
Me: her: Well...
Me: Me: what?
Me: her: he could always go to McDonalds and get some chicken nuggets
Me: Me: No chicken. He'll DIE
Me: Her: Nu-uh. They look like chicken...they taste like chicken, but we know there's no chicken in them....
Me: heehee
Faja: Haaaaaaaaaaaa... Yeah, I heard it was all plastic in there. XD
Faja: (Actually, I could prove once and for all whether or not it really is chicken, couldn't I?)



Me: I resign from TLC, btw, I'm typing my posty now
Faja: T_T
Me: Well, come on now
Me: How can I really stay in TLC after everything?
Me: *tosses James keys to the Presidential washroom*
Faja: T_T *huggles while twirling keys on finger*
Me: *snuggles*
Me: But I really am happy for you and Zelda
Me: and if you two EVER break up I will KILL BOTH OF YOU because all my hard work will have been for nothing
Me: ^_^

Me: JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!
Faja: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!
Faja: *glomps*
Me: *sniffles*
Faja: ?
Me: I was in my moms new car
Faja: Aye...
Me: and I saw the licence plate
Me: And I was like ".....this has nothing to do with Faja"
Faja: T_T
tFaja: Well, at least the license didn't say something like "FJA SUX"


Faja: Am I the pee in your pants as well?
Me: No, I only sent it to girls haha
Me: you are pee if you like
Faja: Foine.
Me: because you're definently my friend
Faja: ^_^
Me: *pats pee!James*
Faja: *ish patted*


Yeah, I'll end up bringing more in later.

Isabella Delancy
01-17-2007, 07:30 PM
Nadya and Hollie using web cams and chatting...about nothing in particular:


Nadya says: wait, if I'M Sam's Carrot, and you're engaged to a Carrot, and we're sisters......what does that make me to Sam?
Nadya says: *giggles*
Hollie says: her sister in law
Nadya says: no - but she was my Carrot before you got engaged!
Nadya says: as I was hers
Hollie says: it's not incest!
Hollie says: gah i'm confused
Nadya says: HAHAHAHAHA
Nadya says: you keep telling yourself that
Hollie says: haha....naddie laughs. hollie has done her good deed for the day
Nadya says: well.....Hollie also has no answer to that
Hollie says: i have no more answers?
Hollie says: ummm....*thinks*
Hollie says: sam was adopted
Nadya says: LOL! it'd still be incest cause she'd TECHNICALLY still be related
Hollie says: NOT BY BLOOD
Nadya says: STILL RELATED
Hollie says: nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Nadya says: yussssssssssssssssssssssssss
Hollie says: i think i need to have a special talk with sam now
Nadya says: hahahahaha
Hollie says: YAY! naddie laughs again!


Yes....we have amusing conversations about....Carrots and Parrots and all that's in between. :D Don't ask for your own sanity. Seriously.

The Khanum
01-17-2007, 09:10 PM
*Cracks knuckles and breaks out the old AIM chat conversations*

KT Mae: we are SCHMEX incarnate.
Kat: it's two letters extra
Kat: i'll just put smex.
Shadow: lol
Kat: though sure, i agree
Zelda: NOIT'SSCHMEX.
KT Mae: we are the EPITOME of SCHMEX.
KT Mae: ...fine.
KT Mae: we're the EPITOME of SMEX.
Shadow: *glomps KT*
Kat: kt
Kat: do you know what epitome means?
KT Mae: ...umm.
KT Mae: yes?
Kat: ...
Kat: thought so.
Zelda: I like "schmex" better.
Kat: well
Kat: screw you
Shadow: gladly
Zelda: Not right now, thanks.
Kat: well, go on then
KT Mae: we can compromise and be shmex.
Zelda: Tempting, but no.
KT Mae: or scmex.
Kat: shmex
Kat: because scmex sounds like some sort of viral infection
Zelda: I will only ever type it "schmex".
KT Mae: but four consonants in a row is so utterly orgasmic.
Shadow: lol
Kat: four consonants?
Kat: where?
Kat: oh
Shadow: s-c-h-m
Kat: on schmex
Kat: i thought on 'scmex'
Kat: and i'm like *counts on fingers*
Shadow: lmfao
Kat: you haven't used utterly orgasmic in a while, kt
Kat: i just noticed.
KT Mae: i know. i was inspired yesterday.
Kat: by?
KT Mae: .......... *coughs and ignores kat's question*

Nooooow...the next few are about people on TPO, but this is back during Halloween. Kat and I were watching Clue, which if you'll remember was the inspiration behind the RP Special Event. Each of the mods took a name, so we had fun making little comments about everybody.

Kat: it's zelda!
KT Mae: *bouncebouncebounce*
Kat: were you immitating her boobs?
KT Mae: ...yes.
Kat: ...
Kat: i see.
Kat: why 3 bounces?
Kat: do you know something about her i don't?
KT Mae: ..............
KT Mae: you're not supposed to know that yet!

Kat: wow, she has a boobtastic dress.
Kat: ...i want one.
KT Mae: mail order.
Kat: mail order?
KT Mae: mail order.
Kat: ....dress or the person inside the dress?
KT Mae: they go together.
Kat: bahaha.
KT Mae: though i suppose you could order her out of the dress.

Kat: shadow grabbed zelda's butt.
KT Mae: shadow's a horny b*stard.
Kat: BAHAHA.

Kat: he grabbed your @ss
KT Mae: steve touched ma butt!
Kat: BAHAHAHAHAHA.

Kat: i totally looked for stuff in your cleavage.

KT Mae: you find sex disgusting.
Kat: apparently.

Kat: BAHAHAHA. you're a pimp.
KT Mae: i'm a whore.
KT Mae: /pimp.
KT Mae: i'm both.
Kat: /phone sex operator.
KT Mae: oh, how ironic.

Kat: christine is kinda hot
The Movie: *Reveals that Christine's character is a homosexual*
Kat: damnit!

Kat: christine slapped me!
Kat: OH MAN that was highlarious.

KT Mae: ...are you behind me?
Kat: am i?
Kat: ...would you like me to be?

KT Mae: i'm a perv.
Kat: yes you are.
Kat: oh.
Kat: you mean in the movie.

Kat: the gay guy got the nice long stick.
Kat: more irony for us.

Miss Scarlet & Professor Plum: *Are making out on the couch*
Kat: you and teh prof?
KT Mae: steve, i never knew you felt that way.

KT Mae: hah. hollie is my client.
Kat: you pimp.
KT Mae: you're disgusted with me.
Kat: i am.
Kat: just like always.
Kat: bad kt.
KT Mae: my work is not of your tastes.

Kat: you are evil.
KT Mae: *gasp!*
Kat: you used her.
Kat: the way you always used her!
KT Mae: i did. i use my whores.
Kat: like a good pimp should
Kat: you're a crazy nymphomaniacal wench.
KT Mae: i'm a communist!
Kat: YOU'RE A COMMUNIST!

KT Mae: i'll EXPOSE hollie.

KT Mae: i said shake! rattle! n'roll!
Kat: yay for 50s music!
KT Mae: *frugs*
Kat: *shimmies*
KT Mae: *bunny hops*
Kat: *does the monkey*
KT Mae: *does the electric sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!*
Kat: *twists*
KT Mae: *breakdances*
Kat: *tap dances*
KT Mae: *does the worm*
Kat: wow you can do that?
KT Mae: ...no.
Kat: ...aw
Kat: you should have just lied and said yes.
KT Mae: ...okay, fine. yes, i can do the worm.
Kat: yay! you rock!

Minoru Inoue
01-19-2007, 12:59 AM
(So we're on a plane and the flight attendant is collecting trays of food that have all these wrappers and pieces of food and mess left on them. He comes up to mom's tray, which is completely deviod of... everything. There is nothing on the tray, except tray)
Flight Attendant: *Eyes go wiiiiide*
Mom: I swear I didn't eat the cups and spoons. I just put them in my purse for later.
Flight Attendant: *collapses laughing*

(So we were in Seattle, and Seattle has this AMAZING Farmer's Market that has EVERYTHING. We stopped at a place that sold roasted nuts)
Me: We want to try that one and that one.
Guy: What do I look like, a buffet?

Me: *finally buys a bag of nuts after trying EVERY flavor*
Guy: You know, they made silicone legal? *eyes us*
Me: *drops the nut I was about to eat*

Me: Mom has to drug herself before going on a flight.
Mom: *arriving on the plane* Ohhhh, my gooddddddddd..... why am I doing this agaaaaain? I'm going to dieeeeee.
Dad: You're only making things worse.
Mom: I'm my own worst enemy. *brightens* That's why I drug myself!
Me: To quiet the voices in your head?
Mom: Yes. The voices like the drugs. *grins maniacally*


(Some much-needed coffee quotes)
Mom: *arrives in Seattle* You know, Seattle is known for its coffee.
Me: STARBUCKS!!! *rushes to it*
Mom: As if we don't have those on every corner of every street back home.

Me: *in the car, watching the sites out the window* STARBUCKS!
Mom: There's one on every corner here.
Me: ^__^ Just like home

Me: *at the airport on the way home* Hold on, guys. I need to stop at Starbucks before we go back home.
Mom: You know... it's not any different than it is back home.
Me: ^_____^ *buys a Frapuccino*

(More to be added as soon as I remember)


ETA: (On T-Shirts in a shop in Seattle)

Earth first. We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

Sarcasm! Just one of the many services I offer.

I can't remember...
and I the good twin?
or the evil twin?

Don't believe everything you think.

Chaos. Panic. Disorder.
My work here is done.

Kaze
01-19-2007, 03:11 AM
(Okay... I was threatened in order to post this. My life was on the line, a knife pointed at my face... gotta love your best friends.)

professor: Latin is dead not because no one speaks it, but because it doesn't change
girl in class: Is Yiddish dead?
professor: No, it is still used and it is still changing
another girl in class: Yiddish? what is that?
guy in class: it's a type of drink
same guy: alcoholic I think
girl #2: then why is it alive
same guy: because it's Jewish, that's why
girl #2: *oblivious*
me: Yiddish is a language
girl#2: ...
me: This is a history of language class
girl#2: *to guy* and what do you drink that with?
guy: *says something in Yiddish*
girl#2: *blinks*
Me: *has no idea*
guy: are you in the wrong class?
me: me?
girl: me?
guy: this is History of the French Language
me: I know
girl: I know
girl: wait... history of the French language?
class: yes
girl: then why are we speaking Jewish
guy: yiddish
girl: oh whatever
class: *resumes*

Minoru Inoue
01-19-2007, 07:30 AM
Erikaaaaaaaa~ You forgot the best part. KT, my lovely, this is dedicated to you.


Lotion bottle at Erika's house: For adult use only.
Me: *eyes go wide as a pervy smirk covers my face* Paul has a thing or two to say about that.

Lotion bottle cont'd: This rich, creamy lotion is--
Erika: Okay, that's just making it worse.
Me: What kind of lotion is this? I gotta remember to get some!


(Now... SAMNESS! Okay, so I was watching Power Rangers -- please don't ask why -- on youtube)
Kitty112087: god, Tommy was so hot
Kitty112087: and I finally get to see Johnny Yong bosch
Kitty112087: who the f*ck is the Gold Ranger?
Kitty112087: And why isn't Tommy him?
Kitty112087: Tommy is hot
Kitty112087: he should run the show
SuperxSamness: XD
Kitty112087: he's the only one who really knows how to use it
SuperxSamness: I agree!
Kitty112087: *do it
Kitty112087: erk whatever
SuperxSamness: lmao
Kitty112087: He can use his ranger any day of the week. ^_~
SuperxSamness: XD
Kitty112087: and his Ranger is so nice and long
Kitty112087: *shakes head* I slept waaaaaaaaaaaay too much last n--
Kitty112087: what the fIck is a gold ranger?????
Kitty112087: there are FIVE of them
SuperxSamness: lmfao
Kitty112087: FIVE

(Then we started watching Japanese Power Rangers, which is called "Super Sentai" and they have adorable little gothic lolitas as badguys.)
SuperxSamness: hey Rayna
Kitty112087: ^^
Kitty112087: Yeah?
SuperxSamness: move to Japan with me.
Kitty112087: O_____O
Kitty112087: Yes
SuperxSamness: Sweet
Kitty112087: My bag is packed
SuperxSamness: You can be my translator
Kitty112087: I speak it fluently and I"m learning to read it
Kitty112087: hells yes
Kitty112087: Sam
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: we're going right now
SuperxSamness: XD
Kitty112087: pack your bag
Kitty112087: I'll take a plane to Canada
SuperxSamness: but my bag is under my bed
SuperxSamness: CANADA WITH RAYNA YAAAAAAAAY
Kitty112087: And then we'll fly to Japan
Kitty112087: X3
Kitty112087: OMFG
Kitty112087: But
Kitty112087: you have to dress cute
SuperxSamness: done and done
SuperxSamness: *is always cute*
Kitty112087: X3
Kitty112087: Good
SuperxSamness: why do you want me to be cute on an airplane, Rayna? *glances meaningfully at the airplane bathroom*
SuperxSamness: no! no! wrong word
SuperxSamness: suggestively**
Kitty112087: XDDD
Kitty112087: Those things are TINY
Kitty112087: Not in the bathroom
Kitty112087: ^_~ In a Japanese hotel room
SuperxSamness: XD
SuperxSamness: I'm finding the desire to pack my bags rapidly increasing


Kitty112087: *gasp* THE BLUE RANGER IS A GIRL IN THIS ONE
SuperxSamness: NO WAY
Kitty112087: THE GREEN RANGER LOOKS JUST LIKE TOMMY
Kitty112087: *drools uncontrollably*
SuperxSamness: :DDDDDDD
Kitty112087: k
Kitty112087: Sam?
SuperxSamness: yellooooooooow raaaaaaaangeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr
SuperxSamness: <3333333
Kitty112087: Not only are we stalking Seki Tomokazu (favorite voice actor) when we get there
Kitty112087: we're grabbing the ass of that green ranger
SuperxSamness: I AGREE!
Kitty112087: and I'll become a seiyuu (voice actor)
Kitty112087: and get famous
Kitty112087: and support us
SuperxSamness: ok!!!!!
SuperxSamness: what purpose shall I serve?
SuperxSamness: ....I know!
SuperxSamness: you can pay me for your nightly action
Kitty112087: Exactly
Kitty112087: You can be my wife and I'll support you
Kitty112087: you'll take care of our cats
Kitty112087: many many cats
SuperxSamness: yaaaaaaaaaaay!
Kitty112087: do you like cats?
SuperxSamness: LOOOOOOVE them
SuperxSamness: can we kidnap Tsubasa and spoon feed him?
Kitty112087: Yes
SuperxSamness: because I <3 him
SuperxSamness: you're such a kind wife
Kitty112087: Tsubasa?
Kitty112087: Ohhhh
Kitty112087: yellow ranger,r ight?
SuperxSamness: Yes
Kitty112087: WE will kidnap him
Kitty112087: YOU will spoonfeed him
Kitty112087: I will take pictures
SuperxSamness: YAY
Kitty112087: as long as I have wild sex with Seki, all is fine
Kitty112087: and we have cats
Kitty112087: lots and lots of cats
SuperxSamness: threeeeeeesoooooome
Kitty112087: no children
Kitty112087: o.o
Kitty112087: yesssss

Kitty112087: yay for Jewish stars!!

SuperxSamness: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
SuperxSamness: "What's that?" "My determined pose"

SuperxSamness: where are you (in the episode)?
Kitty112087: He's enjoying it, is he?
SuperxSamness: YES
Kitty112087: This dude is enjoying the power rangers
Kitty112087: nudge nudge
Kitty112087: wink wink
Kitty112087: say no more
SuperxSamness: XD
SuperxSamness: I love you
Kitty112087: You better
Kitty112087: we are getting married and moving to japan
Kitty112087: after all
Kitty112087: and I'm paying you for your sexual services

Kitty112087: De gozaimasu desu!!!
Kitty112087: it makes no literal sense
Kitty112087: but it's beyond the most polite way of speaking
SuperxSamness: lmfao
Kitty112087: That plant has manners
SuperxSamness: Yes
SuperxSamness: I expect all of our house plants to be the same

SuperxSamness: good job Rayna
SuperxSamness: you handed Sam a new obsession
SuperxSamness: she purposely stays away from ALL ANIME and Japanese everything, so as not to obsess.
SuperxSamness: and you have undone 16 years of work
SuperxSamness: Magi! Magi! MagiRanger!@
SuperxSamness: - @
Kitty112087: They're soooooooo cute!!
Kitty112087: Why do you want to NOT obsess?
Kitty112087: Where's the fun in life?
SuperxSamness: XD

Kaze
01-19-2007, 06:15 PM
((XDD Just another quickie. I swear. These things only happen to me...))

Professor: Erika, what does maîtresse mean?
Me: ... teacher?
Professor: Mistress.
Me: ...
Professor: Note how the word mistress is associated with power in French. Maîtress... is almost like saying dominatrix. She orders, she is in control, she has the power.
Me: ...
Professor: Whereas a man is just called un amant. A lover. There is no power implied.
Me: ... *nods*
Professor: What can you conclude with this, Erika?
Me: That the French are into... *my voice grows softer and softer*
Professor *begins to smile*
Me: *smiles and hides her face*
Professor: *laughs*
Me: Can't we go on with the story of Guy de Maupassant?
class: *resumes*

((Later.))

Me: Professor, I need you to sign this. *hands overload form*
Professor: What? Now I'm your advisor too?
Me: Aren't you my advisor?
Professor: In what sense. *smiles*
Me: Can you please stop it. And adviser advices.
Professor: And a student learns. That's why they must keep an open mind.
Me: ... can I have my form now?
Professor: Don't you want me to advise you?
Me: Do you have any idea how wrong this sounds?
Professor: *smiles evily and hands form back* Yes.
Me: Adieu.

Minoru Inoue
01-20-2007, 12:31 AM
^^; My mom is a strange person. I'll just start with that.

Me: Mom, I think you should get a new bra. You're always complaining about how you're so small, but I think you're a size bigger than you think.
Mom: *sarcastically* Ohhhh, yeeahhh. Charlie and Harry are huuuuuge.
Me: ... you named your breasts "Charlie" and "Harry?"
Mom: Yes.
Me: You had two turtles named Charlie and Harry.... you... named your turtles after your breasts?
Mom: And I named my dog after my car. Any further questions?

(The car/dog's name was Sydney btw)

Me: My name comes from Star Trek.
Mom: Yeah, but I almost named you Sydney.
Me: AFTER YOUR CAR?!!!

MaskedRose
01-20-2007, 02:36 AM
Me: Thomas....must you always drink the same drink every day?
Thomas: Yes.
Me: Why?
Thomas: Because...it gives me brain power.
Me: Thomas...thats powerade not brainade.

I know its stupid but it was a rather funny convorsation.

Forgotten Angel
01-21-2007, 08:57 PM
Me: i think i'm gonna finish this post and then go to bed
Mike: ::freaks out::
Mike: but but but
Mike: YOU NEVER SLEEP BEFORE I DO
Me: i'm sick
Mike: ::makes sure the world is still round - falls of the map::
Mike: ::continues falling deeper into non-existance::
Mike: ::still falling::
Me: these are extrenuating circumstances
Me: *saves mike*
Mike: ::is saved : ) ::

Mike: ;;giggle giggle::
Me: *glares daggers*
Mike: ::sizzle::
Me: *is satisfied*

Me: miiiiiiiiiiiiike make me better.
Me: T_T
Mike: ::evil grin::
Mike: okay
Mike: ::begins sharpening axe while wearing black hood::
Me: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
Mike: just close your eyes, this soudl't hurt at all
Me: i seriously feel like crap.
Mike: ...
Mike: ::gives Shadow a fluffy pillow filled with love::
Me: heh
Mike: uhm
Mike: ::gives Shadow a fluffy pillow filled with the faces and melodies of all great rock bands in American, European, and Japanese history::
Me: well, that's making me mentally better, at least
Me: erm.... psychologically

Minoru Inoue
01-21-2007, 09:37 PM
This is dedicated to all great perverts out there. You know who you are. ^_~


Sign outside the dorm facing the road: Slow. Road humps. 5 mph.

Wikipedia: Vorhees is largely a bedroom community.

Danielle: Why don't I take you back to my room to show you?
Me: Wait! WAIT! I know where this is headed... *eyes her*

Why So Silent
01-23-2007, 12:00 AM
A couple of conversations...

*After showing KT a REALLY old picture of Matt*
Kat: i thought he was emo
KT: he looks kind of emo.
KT: and like my uncle.
Kat: ... he looks like your uncle? o-o;
KT: yeah, he looks like my hippy uncle who named his daughter 'arwen'.
Kat: ....HAHAHA
KT: *giggles*
Kat: he is a hippy
Kat: a hippy tolkein fan
Kat: zomg, he's james in 30 years.
KT: GASP! he IS!
Kat: BAHA.

J, the Movie critic: you like Taledga Nights right....?
J: .....the ballad of Ricky Bobby?
J: aren't you a fan?
Kat: yeah
J: ... that wasn't exactly a cerebral comedy

Oz is J's cat who walks on his keyboard:
J: (z is being silly
J: br
J: ? MM%E4r[pr
Kat: ...hi oz
J: anyway
J: Ash is playing with him now
J: my cat is an attention whore
Kat: i knew this.
Kat: but aren't we all?

Forgotten Angel
01-26-2007, 07:14 AM
Aww, I love Megan. ^___^

Me: .....twice in one night? this MUST be a record
Megan: hahaha, i'm on fire tonight

Me: he went to bed already, i think
Megan: loser
Me: i know
Me: who sleeps at this time of night?
Megan: hahahaha
Megan: who sleeps at all?
Me: TRUE!
Me: unless you're sick
Me: like me.
Megan: aww
Me: then i at least get an hour or two

Megan: have i told you lately i adore you
Me: no, i don't believe you have. *pouts*
Megan: *glomps* i love it!!! its sooooooooo cool :D

Megan: over the weekend your sleeping
Megan: i've decided
Me: actually, i'm not :-(
Megan: no
Megan: no
Megan: you are
Megan: idc
Megan: you are
Me: SATs saturday morning
Me: then working on research paper
Me: then hebrew high sunday morning
Me: then working on research paper some more
Megan: .............
Megan: ok
Megan: this is what your going to do
Megan: friday
Megan: come home from school
Me: coz it's due tuesday. or at least, the full rough draft is
Megan: sleep
Megan: saturday
Megan: wake up
Megan: do sats
Megan: go home
Megan: sleep
Megan: sunday
Megan: blow off hebrew school
Megan: sleeeep
Megan: monday
Megan: freak out cuz the rough drafts not done
Me: ....i missed the last two weeks. i can't miss it again :-(
Megan: yell at me
Megan: :D
Megan: aww
Megan: then
Megan: go to hebrew class
Megan: and sleeeeep

Megan: eh, if all else fails, write 666 on your forehead, that should get you out of class :D

Megan: you doubt my amazingness *tear*
Me: never! *glomps*
Megan: heehee *feels very loved*

Megan: no fence
Megan: but were really freaks :D
Me: yeah, i know we are
Megan: hahaha
Me: but i'd be bored with myself if i wasn't XD
Megan: i would probably be wearing a dress right now if i wasnt *shivers&
Megan: **
Megan: damn it to helll
Me: ewwwwwwwdresses
Megan: *starts to tremble*
Megan: take it awaaaaaay
Me: *hugs* it's okay. it's okay. you're not wearing a dress.
Megan: *rocking ceases*

Love the Lie
01-27-2007, 04:42 PM
Tales from work.

Me: "All I ever hear from Tam is 'You didn't do *in high squeaky voice* thiiisehaogalhoghaogahhaaaaeee!'"
Richard: "You know what is actually the scary part of what you just said.... I understood that word for word. It was like a complete sentance with nouns, adjactives and verbs and all."

Richard: Rachel, didn't you know that we have elves that come and clean the store?
Me: We do!?!?!
Richard: Oh yes. If you just leave a broom out overnight and go home they come and clean the place up so it sparkles. And Keepler from those cookie commercials is incharge.
Me:: HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME THIS? You mean, we have elves that come and clean and here I am doing all the cleaning? I should get PAID IN COOKIES!!
Richard: Take it up with Keepler.
Me: Oh, I will. I want my damned cookies if I'm gonna be doing all this cleaning

A Night at Wendy's

Me: "What size does your nuggets come in?"
Girl: "5 or 10."
Me: "Okay, can I get 20?"
Girl: "They only come in 5 or 10."
Me: "Yeah, I know. I want 20. Can't you give me two packs of 10?"
Girl: "Excuse me?"

Me: I GOT JIPPED!
Shadow: ?
Me: There's no burger or bacon in my burger!!
Shadow: o.o
Me: so it's just cheese, lettuce, ketchup and mayo and tomato
Shadow: o.0
Shadow: wtfh
Me: and buns
Shadow: buns
Shadow: hehe
Me: lol
Me: I'm so complaining
Me: I order a burger so I can actually eat a burger. Not a poorly made cheese sandwich
Shadow: *pats*
Me: I'm usually not one to complain
Me: but when a person specifies Jr. Bacon Cheese Burger... you expect a hamburger. >.<

Shadow: maybe they thought you were vegetarian?
Me: but I ordered 20 chicken nuggets
Shadow: they're weird?
Me: or I'm a bad vegetarian I suppose

Shadow: *snerk* sounds like all the people at those places around here
Shadow: except the people at burger king
Shadow: they're a higher class of idiot
Shadow: they actually get things right sometimes

Me: the funny thing is he thanked me
Shadow: hahahaha
Shadow: they're probably gonna fire someone now
Me: I was like "wthf? Thanks for complaining?!?!"

Spare time is fun with IM.

Shadow: yeah. ye ABANDONED me.
Me:my damned sleep schedule is so screwy lately! But I no abandon my fellow 'bandonment child!!
Shadow: .......promise?
Me: I GOT KINDAPPED
Me: KIDNAPPED*
Me: yes
Me: I promises
Shadow: ^_^
Me: fellon 'bandonment children must stick together like super glue!!!
Me: *pulls out super glue*

Me: yeah
Me: that's scary
Me: you know
Me: you know our posting styles
Bunny: haha
Me: I mean, if I randomly showed up and didn't tell you who I was or anything
Me: would you still know it was me by my RPG?
Bunny: probably, if you didn't switch it up or anything
Me: lol
Bunny: everybody just writes a certain way
Me: true
Me: but I have a hard enough time remembering certain things, I haven't put time and effort into memorizing posting styles too
Bunny: lol

Me: stalker!bunny
Bunny: shhh
Me: oh sorry
Me: was that a secret?
Bunny: well, it isn't NOW
Bunny: blabber mouth
Me: I only told you
Me: I promise
Me: you and Vicky
Bunny: lol

Shadow: HAH. that totally reminded me of a conversation from the tree-trimming party i was at on sunday XD
Me: that damned sandman guy, he came and so totally kidnapped me last night
Me: it was a long hard struggle to get away from him too
Me: and oh?
Shadow: Genna: You gonna pull out your priestliness on me now?
Jason: Yes! I will repair your tainted soul!
Genna: Like with super glue?
Jason: YES! Like spiritual superglue!
Shadow: *is watching random Malice Mizer vids*
Me: woo
Me: spiritual superglue
Shadow: lol
Me: I prefer the real stuff
Me: it works better
Shadow: hai
Shadow: I tried the spiritual stuff before and it didn't work

M: i fell out of my chair like a minute ago
M: i went back thinking the back rest is directly behind me but it was on my side and i went flying i was all "holy flying ****!"
Me: lmao
Me: no I believe the correct phrase is "Holy flying M!"
M: i have a bad habit of having the back rest on my side

Bunny: hmm, I have come to three conclusions, all which tie into each other, one, I get lost very often, two, I get lost very often even WITH my map, and three, I don't like being lost
Becca: then i've come to a conclusion myself - learn to read a map better. :P
Bunny: *sticks out tongue*
Becca: nyah ^_^

Sam: But I have a legit reason why I can't do your math
Me: and you can't find my love anywhere else?
Me: wwhhy?
Sam: Because NADYA KILLED ME
Sam: she stabbed me
Sam: when we were duelling
Me: THAT BEETCH!
Sam: and now I'm dead
Me: *ressurects*
Sam: we were fighting for the ownership of Hollie
Sam: lol
Me: ahh
Me: well, you can have ownership of RACHEY!
Me: aaaaand her tortallini
Me: and that sounds wrong at this late hour
Me: but oh so yummy
Sam:lmfao
Sam: *hugs*
Me: it's chicken tortellini
Me: oh fine
Me: I'll do my own math
Me: (and I'll still love you endlessly(
Me: )*
Me: ((curse my TDS))

Me: Purple flying monkies eat blue drowning banana's to see Seattle in red and white while dogs whistle at the cheese
Sam: I know. I could have told you that
Me: did you know about the tanned sea monkies
Sam: didn't you?
Me: my math just told me
Me: after the sea monkies ran away with my smartness
Sam: haha
Sam: don't be silly
Me: they tried for your heart
Sam: you never HAD smartness
Me: but I made them to take my smartness
Me: well, fine then... they stole my smarties
Sam: lol
Me: same difference
Sam: XD
Me: but they didn't get my secret stach
Me: stash
Me: stach stash
Me: because I ATE it
Sam: lmfao
Me: so I could be a smartie for my math

Me: math should stick to one shape
Me: stupid foci
Sam: math shouldn't HAVE shapes
Me: yes
Me: math should stick to a + b = c
Me: none of this a + b = c + d * f/e - h^2 (g - f + i / triangles + ellipses + focis)
Sam: that's dumb
Me: yes it is
Me: and its dumber still that they call that "advanced"
Me: it should be called "most confusion"

Tiff: i didn't get a ticket when I hit a parked car but it was still my fault lmao
Me: no Tiff
Me: the park car hit you
Me: we know
Tiff: lmfao
Me: it had it in for you

Bunny: I used to be able to roll my R's when I said burrito
Kell: OHH I CAN ROLL MINE
Tiff: i've never been able to roll mine
Kell: its fun
Bunny: I can't do it anymore though
Bunny: I juts tried
Bunny: *just
Me: I can't roll my r's
Tiff: i don't even know where to begin to do it
Bunny: no wait, I can still sorta do it

Bunny: help, I am drowning in fire

Me:but anywhom, when I try to roll my R's it comes out more like "RRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrRRRR RRRRRRRRRrRrrrrRRRrrrr-****!"
Kell: OKAY WOMAN
Bunny: haha
Kell: RRR ****?
Kell: ........sweet mother
Tiff: rrr ****?
Kell: apparently tiff had the same thoughts
Bunny: I just thought of you sounding like a, I dunno, chainsaw
Bunny: and then going, "****!"
Me: yeah, cause I can't like roll to save my live. so it ends with a swear
Kell: **** cause she cut someone in half
Tiff: i just sound like a car engine dying when I try to roll my rs
Kell: i read that as "eyes"
Me: that's pretty much how it sounds Bunny
Bunny: haha
Kell: and was like...wow dying truck when you roll your eyes
Kell:or car engine rather*

Bunny: *cracks up*
Kell: *rolls eyes and hears nothing*
Kell: *makes dying car engine sound effects*
Kell: alas it worked
Tiff: lol
Kell: except for some odd ass reason, my dying car engine came out as, "MEEEEOWWWWWWWWWWWWW"
Kell: ONly shrieked
Bunny: haha
Me: lmao
Me: I think that was you running over Fluffy
Bunny: nooo, be quiet
Tiff: shhhh
Bunny: before I go River on your ass
Me: the neighbors poodle
Tiff: no running over any cats
Tiff: oh
Tiff: well then
Bunny: -_-!!! damnit Tiffness!
Tiff: hahahaha
Bunny: that isn't cool EITHER
Me: lmao
Bunny: do I need to add another person to my going-River-on-their-ass list
Bunny: *?
Me: admit it, you smiled sadistically when you heard it was a poodle
Bunny: I didn't, but Tiffness prob'ly did
Bunny: I love poodles
Me: lol

Kell: Who the **** turned into a poddle?
Bunny: my great aunt used to have a poodle
Bunny: poddle?
Kell: poodle*
Me: Tiff
Kell: hahahahhaha
Kell: SHUT UP!
Me: didn't you know?
Becca: if it was called a poddle
Becca: i'd gladly have one
Kell: omfg..
Kell: OMFG
Becca: but because it's a poodle
White AfterLight: me too
Becca: i don't think so.
Kell: let us not
Kell: Okay fine
White AfterLight: I really don't get the poodle appeal
Me: poddle - sounds british tome
Bunny: poodles are adorable
Kell: then we'll have a new breed of dog altogether
Me: to me*
Kell: called the poddle
Kell: they are scary logking
Kell: looking*
Bunny: it sounds like puddle

Me: Purple flying monkies eat blue drowning banana's to see Seattle in red and white while dogs whistle at the cheese
M: wtf o.O
Me: sea monkies stole my smarties
M: ^^;;
Me: ^___^
M: just how hyper are you? :p
Me: more than enough
Me: mixed with tiredness and caffiene
Me: and the teensiest bits of alcohol
Me: and math
Me: and numbers
Me: and smarties
M: lmao
M: not a good ominbation then ^_~
Me: very good combination
Me: need to stay up
Me: so I don't sleep
Me: and I finish my math
Me: that is all egyptian to meee

Sam: >_< I hate people, Rachey
Me: me too
Me: I hate most people more than math
Sam: that's some deep hatred there, dear
Me: I know
Me: and whoever made this god damned book
Me: I'm gonna hunt them down and break every bone in their body
Sam: I'll help!
Me: and if they are dead already I will ressurect them, just to break every bone in their body and then murder them afterwords
Sam: lmfao
Sam: I'll bring the popcorn and sody pop
Me: kk
Sam: and we can make a party of it
Me: yay
Me: and chocolate
Sam: ^______________________________^

Me: ... *and has a headache the size of russia*
Sam: :<
Sam: aaaaaaaw
Sam: that's a big headache
Me:(because last night we determined that Canada is small)
Me: it is

Sam: a rat in tom's house might eat tom's ice cream
Sam: yes. arithmetic*
Me: what the hell?
Me: why do we care about rats in toms houses?
Sam: lol
Sam: that's how we spell arithmetic
Me: or his ice cream?
Me: o
Me: oh
Sam: A Rat In Tom's House Might Eat Tom's Ice Cream
Me: do you have a saying like that for like everything?
Me: like anthropamorphic
Sam: XD
Sam: *glomps*

Forgotten Angel
01-28-2007, 07:26 AM
WARNING: The following debate is..... odd, to say the least. And should be written down in history books - or at least, english books - for its oddness. Thank you.

kilIingxtime: *hopeful smile*
kilIingxtime: *clasps hands with big puppy dog eyes a la ryuichi asking if noriko is mad at him*
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: XDDD
Kitty112087: *pets*
Kitty112087: The imperfections speech just confused the **** out of me
Kitty112087: this is why I take so long reading your fic
kilIingxtime: lmao
Kitty112087: erm
kilIingxtime: the thing about a living imperfection?
Kitty112087: Yeah
Kitty112087: also
Kitty112087: the makeup thingie
Kitty112087: erm...
Kitty112087: well
kilIingxtime: 'tis true~
Kitty112087: it's half true
kilIingxtime: !
Kitty112087: I do theatre makeup
Kitty112087: actually
Kitty112087: the bright stage lights
Kitty112087: force you to sweat off the makeup
Kitty112087: so they use
Kitty112087: a special kind of makeup
kilIingxtime: ever use Mac White?
Kitty112087: that they buy in specialty stores
Kitty112087: it's a powder actually
kilIingxtime: coz that's the stuff all the rockers with the pale-face image use. it doesn't swear off and costs a fortune.
kilIingxtime: #sweat
Kitty112087: yep
Kitty112087: *nods*
Kitty112087: Then you already know
kilIingxtime: yeah
kilIingxtime: that's the stuff wil uses
Kitty112087: I'd just make a little note that it's mac white makeup or something
Kitty112087: so that stupid editors like me
Kitty112087: won't go
Kitty112087: "Haha.
Kitty112087: you LOSE."
Kitty112087: XD
Kitty112087: "You FOOL"
Kitty112087: Tee-hee
Kitty112087: *huggle*
kilIingxtime: *shrug* generally it'd be a fic for people who are familiar with the bands involved. in which case, they'd probably already know. :-P but yeah. *huggles back*
Kitty112087: X3
kilIingxtime: and the living imperfection thing was wil describing himself as a teenager.
Kitty112087: mee-hee
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: it makes no ****ing sense at the end
Kitty112087: "I realized I was an imperfection"
Kitty112087: o_______o
Kitty112087: wait
Kitty112087: you said that already
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: and this ... makes you... happy?
Kitty112087: ^^;;;;
Kitty112087: tee-hee
kilIingxtime: *blink*
Kitty112087: told you I needed to take my time with the fic
kilIingxtime: *goes to look at the fic again*
Kitty112087: "It took until I joined the band for me to realize that those imperfections - shallow as they were - were still imperfections. "
Kitty112087: ...
kilIingxtime: yeah
Kitty112087: and imperfection is still an imperfection
Kitty112087: that makes....
Kitty112087: nooooooooooooooo ****ing sense
Kitty112087: and he's happy about it
Kitty112087: *pets wiL*
kilIingxtime: he's happy about it because he realized he didn't have to feel liek such an outcast because there WERE other people who could relate to him.
kilIingxtime: #like
Kitty112087: You never mentioned that the other people had imperfections
kilIingxtime: yes i did
Kitty112087: you only mentioned that his imperfections were still imperfections
Kitty112087: Listen honey
Kitty112087: *Paul-style*
kilIingxtime: not HIS imperfections
Kitty112087: I read the line
kilIingxtime: gah
Kitty112087: ^^
Kitty112087: I'm an editor dear
Kitty112087: I'm demanding
Kitty112087: and harsh
Kitty112087: and mean
Kitty112087: and sarcastic
Kitty112087: but I know what I read
Kitty112087: "those imperfections" refers to the imperfections wiL has
Kitty112087: or so I am lead to believe
kilIingxtime: nope
Kitty112087: then you need to edit that part
Kitty112087: and state to whom the imperfections belong
Kitty112087: ^^
Kitty112087: But of coruse
Kitty112087: that's only the editor in me speaking
kilIingxtime: *is rereading the paragraph right now*
Kitty112087: (and you're never gonna let me read another fic again after this)
Kitty112087: Listen
Kitty112087: it'll make sense in your head
Kitty112087: because you know what you meant
Kitty112087: that's why people hire editors
kilIingxtime: I remember looking at the people around me and being jealous of their perfect lives with their perfect homes and loving, perfect families where imperfections really were only skin deep. It took until I joined the band for me to realize that those imperfections - shallow as they were - were still imperfections. I was not as alone as I once thought.
kilIingxtime: "shallow" refers to "skin deep"
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: ^^
Kitty112087: Honey?
Kitty112087: I'm a ****ing EDITOR
Kitty112087: And Paul has totally taken me over
Kitty112087: tee-hee
Kitty112087: wow
Kitty112087: I have to let him out less
Kitty112087: he gets too much action
kilIingxtime: you're also the only person whose read this so far who hasn't understood that. :-P
Kitty112087: *blink blink*
Kitty112087: S'why I'm an editor
Kitty112087: I function like an idiot
kilIingxtime: lol
Kitty112087: It took until I joined the band for me to realize that those imperfections - shallow as they were - were still imperfections.
Kitty112087: okay
Kitty112087: that sentence
Kitty112087: the "those" in that sentence
Kitty112087: is supposed to refer to the "those" of the bandmates?
kilIingxtime: NO
kilIingxtime: gah
Kitty112087: 8blink blink*
kilIingxtime: he joined the band once he got clean and sober. his mind was clear. it's explained later in the fic
Kitty112087: Well, Iw ant this sentence to make sense now
Kitty112087: ^^
Kitty112087: Because I'm picky
Kitty112087: and you're never gonna let me read another one of your fics again
Kitty112087: so stop thinking like a smart person
kilIingxtime: lmao
Kitty112087: and translate this into alien for me
Kitty112087: Let me break the setnence down in the way that I grasp it
Kitty112087: It took until I joined the band for me to realize that those imperfections - shallow as they were - were still imperfections.
Kitty112087: It = time
Kitty112087: took = time's action
Kitty112087: until = working off "took"
Kitty112087: I = wiL
Kitty112087: joined = his verb
Kitty112087: the band = secondary noun
Kitty112087: skipping for because that's thinking too much
Kitty112087: blah blah blah
Kitty112087: realize
Kitty112087: his action is realize
Kitty112087: those imperfections = the imperfections he's been obsessing aobut for the whole paragraph
Kitty112087: shallow = adjective to describe imperfections
Kitty112087: were
Kitty112087: state of being
Kitty112087: imperfections
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: well duh
Kitty112087: "That dog is a dog"
Kitty112087: really?
kilIingxtime: let me translate?
Kitty112087: I never thought about that
Kitty112087: HOld on
Kitty112087: hold your horses
Kitty112087: so
Kitty112087: this is NOT what you meant?
kilIingxtime: it's close. but you're not looking at the sentence in context. which is part of why it's called a paragraph. the sentences ARE related
Kitty112087: okay
Kitty112087: then let me analyze the setnences around it
kilIingxtime: *wants to translate*
Kitty112087: Keep her tongue to yourself
Kitty112087: XP
Kitty112087: I remember looking at the people around me and being jealous of their perfect lives with their perfect homes and loving, perfect families where imperfections really were only skin deep.
Kitty112087: So
Kitty112087: the sentence says
Kitty112087: that these families were perfect and loving because their imperfections were not on the outside
kilIingxtime: NO
Kitty112087: so obviously his imperfections are on the outside
kilIingxtime: flip that around
kilIingxtime: THEIR imperfections were ONLY on the outside.
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: You just said "skin deep"
Kitty112087: That means you can't see them
Kitty112087: they're on the inside
Kitty112087: skin deep is interior
kilIingxtime: ....................please tell me you've heard the phrase "Beauty is only skin deep" before
Kitty112087: yes
kilIingxtime: meaning it's only on the outside
Kitty112087: beauty is only skin deep = something beautiful on the inside
Kitty112087: no
Kitty112087: you misunderstand that
Kitty112087: beauty is only expressed through a lovely personality
Kitty112087: that is what "beauty is only skin deep" means
Kitty112087: beauty on the outside is no beauty
Kitty112087: that's the meaning of that phrase
kilIingxtime: EXACTLY. it's saying the outer beauty of physical appearance only reaches as far as your skin.
Kitty112087: huh?
Kitty112087: beauty is only skin deep means that true beauty is about what lies within
kilIingxtime: *headkeyboard*
Kitty112087: Nooooo honey
Kitty112087: you need to reanalyze your phrases
kilIingxtime: i say we take a survey of TPO. XD
Kitty112087: wiki it
kilIingxtime: *trots off to wikiquote*
Kitty112087: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_Is_Only_Skin_Deep
Kitty112087: The song's theme is inner beauty, and its value over physical appearance
Kitty112087: Direct quote
kilIingxtime: that's a song's THEME.
Kitty112087: David Ruffin sings lead on this song, relating the story of a man who's become frustrated with dating pretty women with "ugly" attitudes.
Kitty112087: He now praises his current girl, whom he does not find as physically beautiful, but feels that her personality more than makes up for it.
Kitty112087: apparently the songwriting world agrees with me
Kitty112087: think of it this way
Kitty112087: if it's "skin deep"
Kitty112087: that means it's "beneath the skin"
kilIingxtime: no, it means it goes no further than the skin.
Kitty112087: no
kilIingxtime: *head.desk.*
Kitty112087: then it wouldn't be deep
Kitty112087: although you have a point
Kitty112087: it doesn't work in the context of your story
Kitty112087: because the phrase is commonly taken as
Kitty112087: "deep within"
kilIingxtime: i've heard "True beauty lies within" and "Remember that beauty is only skin deep. It's what's on the inside that really counts."
Kitty112087: Yes
Kitty112087: Beauty is only expressed through the person's personality
Kitty112087: is the translation of
Kitty112087: beauty is only skin deep
Kitty112087: ^^
Kitty112087: I can't believe we're fighting over this
Kitty112087: I LOVE it!
Kitty112087: *huggles*
kilIingxtime: *is confused* okay. the only time i have ever heard "Beauty is only skin deep" is to tell someone to stop caring about their physical appearance so much. they put too much into their looks and nothing into their personalities. like, if your vision can't see past your skin, you're only seeing the beauty on the surface.
Kitty112087: Which is an excellent aspect
Kitty112087: but the term is derived
Kitty112087: from how people have beautiful personalities
Kitty112087: and ugly faces
Kitty112087: ever see "Ugly Betty?"
Kitty112087: I watched a special on it
kilIingxtime: no
Kitty112087: and they said, "Betty proves that beauty is truly only skin deep"
Kitty112087: Because she has a beautiful personality
Kitty112087: and an unly face
kilIingxtime: *questions KT*
kilIingxtime: kilIingxtime: when you hear the phrase "beauty is only skin deep", do you think it's talking about physical beauty being skin deep or your personality being beautiful? -_-
WeWantsdaRedhead: physical. *nods*
kilIingxtime: *wins*
Kitty112087: ^^ That's one person
Kitty112087: and I"m asking Christine
Kitty112087: besides
Kitty112087: I never said you could ask those aroun dyou
Kitty112087: and what was the question you asked her?
kilIingxtime: kilIingxtime: when you hear the phrase "beauty is only skin deep", do you think it's talking about physical beauty being skin deep or your personality being beautiful? -_-
WeWantsdaRedhead: physical. *nods*
kilIingxtime: *asks zelda*
Kitty112087: i think it's kind of both. that beautiful people don't always have beautiful personalities. some not-so-attractive people have wonderful personalities.
Kitty112087: *tied*
kilIingxtime: so thus far i'm winning :-P
Kitty112087: you've asked more peple
Kitty112087: hold your horses
kilIingxtime: lol
kilIingxtime: kilIingxtime: coz she's convinced that "skin deep" means it's beneath the skin XD
kilIingxtime: i'm like, "....................................NO"
WeWantsdaRedhead: no, it's meaning that it's shallow.
WeWantsdaRedhead: like...skin is thin.
kilIingxtime: kilIingxtime: raynaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa is confuzzling me
kilIingxtime: when you hear the phrase "beauty is only skin deep", do you think it's talking about physical beauty being skin deep or your personality being beautiful? -_-
LOiseau Rebelle: Both.
LOiseau Rebelle: Wait. No.
LOiseau Rebelle: Physical beauty.
kilIingxtime: *wins again*
Kitty112087: You've asked more people
Kitty112087: give me a minute
kilIingxtime: WeWantsdaRedhead: no, it's meaning that it's shallow.
WeWantsdaRedhead: like...skin is thin.
WeWantsdaRedhead: so it's only as deep as skin.
Kitty112087: you've shown me that already
kilIingxtime: i didn't show you the last phrase in it :-P
Kitty112087: Ellen agrees with me
Kitty112087: tied
Kitty112087: "It's what's inside of you that counts" is what she adds to it
kilIingxtime: i got KT, Zelda, and christine. you have christine and ellen. 3-2. *is still winning*
Kitty112087: Stop asking people!!
Kitty112087: Give me a firggin minute
kilIingxtime: lmao
Kitty112087: I've run out of people
Kitty112087: hold on
kilIingxtime: *has not*
kilIingxtime: kilIingxtime: when you hear the phrase "beauty is only skin deep", do you think it's talking about physical beauty being skin deep or your personality being beautiful?
the bolder thing: physical
kilIingxtime: ^ my friend kristy
Kitty112087: I TOLD YOU TO STOP ASKING PEOPLE
kilIingxtime: nu
Kitty112087: I ran out of people
Kitty112087: it's not fair
kilIingxtime: *is winning 4-2*
Kitty112087: that doesn't count
Kitty112087: because I've only asked two people
kilIingxtime: but even if you'd asked zelda instead of me asking zelda, she would have given you the same answer
Kitty112087: But I haven't asked more people yet
Kitty112087: so hold yer horses
Kitty112087: hold on
Kitty112087: I may have gotten someone
kilIingxtime: just out of curiosity, how are you phrasing the question?
Kitty112087: /manipulated
Kitty112087: I'll show you
Kitty112087: in a minute
Kitty112087: aaaaaaaaaaand I think I scared her away
kilIingxtime: *pats*
Kitty112087: hold on
Kitty112087: there's still a chance
Kitty112087: I have half an answer in my favor
Kitty112087: just waiting for the person to SAY SOMETHING
kilIingxtime: lol
kilIingxtime: *is now winning 5-2.5*
Kitty112087: STOP ASKING PEOPLE
kilIingxtime: nu
kilIingxtime: :-P
Kitty112087: I HAVE A TOTAL OF THREE PEOPLE I CAN ASK
Kitty112087: well
Kitty112087: methinks you're phrasing it wrong
kilIingxtime: no. i'm giving them both options: physical or personality
Kitty112087: hold on
Kitty112087: I still think you're phrasing it wrong
kilIingxtime: how?
Kitty112087: if you've got this many people agreeing with you
Kitty112087: mehr
Kitty112087: so
Kitty112087: let's agree on a phrasing
Kitty112087: Here's what I say
Kitty112087: "Beauty is skin deep = it's what's beneath the skin that counts, right?
kilIingxtime: bad phrasing right there.
kilIingxtime: "when you hear the phrase "beauty is only skin deep", do you think it's talking about physical beauty being skin deep or your personality being beautiful?"
kilIingxtime: give them options
Kitty112087: "So skin deep means beneath the skin since beauty is truly beneath the skin"
Kitty112087: That's not how I phrased it
Kitty112087: this is just what I'm thinking right now
Kitty112087: my exact phrasing was:
Kitty112087: Ne
Kitty112087: "beauty is only skin deep"
Kitty112087: does that mean
Kitty112087: that beauty = a beautiful personality
Kitty112087: or does "skin-deep" mean that beauty only matters on the skin's surface
kilIingxtime: i think we've been debating the wrong thing this whole time, if that's what your asking XD
Kitty112087: ^^
Kitty112087: Possibly
kilIingxtime: i was referring to what the "beauty" in the phrase was DIRECTLY referring to
kilIingxtime: which is the beauty of skin.
kilIingxtime: the MEANING of the phrase is that one has to look beyond the skin to find true beauty
Kitty112087: That's the opposite of what I believe
Kitty112087: the beauty is the beauty of a personality that is kind
Kitty112087: which is "skin deep" because its' "beneath the skin"
Kitty112087: whoa
Kitty112087: O_________O
Kitty112087: nevermind
Kitty112087: the dictionary agrees with you
Kitty112087: *bows*
kilIingxtime: HAH
Kitty112087: O____________O
Kitty112087: o.o
Kitty112087: -.-
kilIingxtime: *wins*
Kitty112087: I've been wrong this whole time?
Kitty112087: My life sucks
kilIingxtime: *beyond all reasonable doubt*
Kitty112087: ...
kilIingxtime: your life doesn't suck
Kitty112087: I'm not talking to you if you're gonna gloat
Kitty112087: okay
kilIingxtime: you've just been misguided
Kitty112087: peh
kilIingxtime: *hugs*
Kitty112087: okay
Kitty112087: BACK TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND
kilIingxtime: but yeah. so now that we have a definition of what makes something skin deep, do you understand why he's saying those families' imperfections were "shallow"?
Kitty112087: no
Kitty112087: wait
Kitty112087: WAIT
Kitty112087: You mean those families imperfections were what you meant?
Kitty112087: DAMMIT
Kitty112087: rename the noun!!!!
kilIingxtime: I WAS SAYING THAT THE WHOLE TIME
Kitty112087: Instead of "those imperfections"
kilIingxtime: *headWALL*
Kitty112087: Write "those families' imperfections"
Kitty112087: because those refers to his own
Kitty112087: since he was the most recent now
Kitty112087: *noun
kilIingxtime: but the last time "imperfections" had been mentioned was about the families. and "those" refers to "imperfections". gah. i need to show this to Bauer XD
kilIingxtime: just the paragraph
Kitty112087: But he mentioned his own imperfections
Kitty112087: before that
kilIingxtime: yes. earlier
Kitty112087: so since he was the most recent noun
Kitty112087: and he's had imperfections
Kitty112087: It lead me, as the stupid reader, to believe that he was talkinga bout his imperfections
Kitty112087: the sentence makes sense
Kitty112087: if you restate that the imperfections belong to the families
kilIingxtime: it gets repetitive, then. which makes for boring literature.
Kitty112087: unless it makes no sense
Kitty112087: which it does
Kitty112087: or
Kitty112087: instead of "those imperfections"
Kitty112087: you can say
Kitty112087: "their imperfectoins"
Kitty112087: that way the reader understands that it is the imperfections that don't belong to wiL
kilIingxtime: gah, fine. >_< will it stop confusing you then?
kilIingxtime: *can deal with "their"
Kitty112087: X3
Kitty112087: yes
kilIingxtime: *
Kitty112087: tee-hee
Kitty112087: *wins*
kilIingxtime: eh. the dictionary still agreed with me.
Kitty112087: ^_~
Kitty112087: You won that battle
Kitty112087: now we're tied




WHEW

And because it's relevant:

Me: *le gasp* rayna manipulated you?
Me: *hugs*
Me: poor wifey!
KT: *sniffles* i feel used*
KT: .
Me: *hugs protectively*
KT: *clings to shadow's thigh*

Et....

Me: i know my proverbs, god dammit!
Me: the important ones anyway :-P
Me: like fortune cookie quotes ^_^
Me: completely useless, yet you still don't understand them
Rita: or people try to apply their lives to them
Me: hai
Me: that too


Yep. Fun night all around. ^_^

ETA

Because no one has posted and I have more quotes to add....


Alyssa: "So I just had a very interesting conversation about E in the bathroom."
Class: o.0
Alyssa: "I walked in and there's the this girl and she says, 'Dude... have you ever done E?' I told her no and she said I should. So I told her that if she drinks too much water, she'll drown. She was like, 'Wow! Dude, I better not drink any water, then.' I was like, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.' And she was like, 'Yeah man.' I mean, I thought she was looking at me funny coz I looked weird, but she was looking at me funny coz she was looking at everything funny."

Alyssa: "My grandmother changed our nationality. We used to be Welsh, but she changed her mind. Now we're just Apache and Cherokee and black and Italian and Canadian on my mom's side and *proceeds to list a bunch of nationalities* on my dad's. But not Welsh."
Haley: "Alyssa. Apply to Harvard."
Alyssa: "Why?"
Haley: "Coz you'll get a full ride."

ETA2

Edited again because STILL no one has posted. Come on, people, I can't be the only one here having interesting conversations.... :(

kilIingxtime: meep
WeWantsdaRedhead: chirp
kilIingxtime: squeal
WeWantsdaRedhead: neeeeeeeeeeeigh
kilIingxtime: twitter
WeWantsdaRedhead: moo
kilIingxtime: baaaaaaah
WeWantsdaRedhead: damn, that was the one i was gonna use.
kilIingxtime: hahhahaha
WeWantsdaRedhead: mrow
kilIingxtime: woof
kilIingxtime: this is totally going in the quote thread for sheer randomness XD
WeWantsdaRedhead: i wouldn't have it any other way. ^__^
WeWantsdaRedhead: quack
kilIingxtime: oink
WeWantsdaRedhead: hoot
kilIingxtime: squawk
WeWantsdaRedhead: purr
kilIingxtime: dammit! you stole mine!
kilIingxtime: hee-haw
WeWantsdaRedhead: honk honk
WeWantsdaRedhead: ...that was a goose, not a car.
kilIingxtime: suuuuuuuuuuuure, KT. *pats*
kilIingxtime: buzz
WeWantsdaRedhead: damn, you're good.
WeWantsdaRedhead: umm....
WeWantsdaRedhead: sizzle sizzle
kilIingxtime: i know i'm good. you tell me that every night, sweetheart. ^_^
WeWantsdaRedhead: i've never left unsatisfied. *nodnod*
kilIingxtime: caw
WeWantsdaRedhead: tweet
kilIingxtime: tweetlee-deet *sings "Rockin' Robin"*
WeWantsdaRedhead: aww...i used to know that whole thing by heart.
kilIingxtime: me too

Erik
02-02-2007, 07:31 AM
Me: Hello, Mr. Bartsch!
Bartsch: Hello, Sunshine!!!!
Me: ...Sunshine?
Bartsch (singing): You are the Sunshine in my liiiiife!

Quan (quizzing me on Newfoundland): So, what's it like there?
Me: It's smaller than here and all the streets have names, not numbers.
Quan: But... how do they find their way around?
Me: We just know.
Quan: But... here all the streets go lower as you go East or whatever. How can they tell in Newfoundland?
Me: You just..... know?
Quan: Do they have buses there!?!?!?
Me: *facepalm*

(I think only Rachey understands that conversation because she knows the steriotype :p)

Mills: Well, a lot of students were in half year Drama, and only one new one came in.
Sadie: We should play the name game!
Alex: Yes, let's hit each other with styrofoam!
Mills: Which name game, Sadie?
Sadie: The one with the styrofoam!
Mills: ....no. We're going to go around and say our name, one thing we like, and one thing we don't like.
Rory: Like how?
Mills: Like this. My name is Rory, I like dancing, and I don't like my drama teacher. You start.
Rory: My name is Rory, I like dancing, and I don't like my drama teacher.
Mills: ....it was just an example you know.

Alex: My name is Alex and --
Mills: Wait let me guess! "My name is Alex and I like my girlfriend, Alex"?
Rory: Your girlfriend's name is Alex, too?
Sadie + Me: ALEX SQUARED!
Alex: My name is Alex and I like my girlfriend Alex. I don't like the name Alex Squared.

Me: My name is Sam, and I like musicals. I don't like it when ALEX makes fun of how I talk!
Alex: Well, talk proper!
Mills: How do you talk?
Me: Alex gets anal because I say Socials instead of Social, and sneakers instead of shoes, etc.
Everyone: .....talk Newfie.
Me: *dies*

Bartsch: You're my FAVOURITE Newfie!

Bartsch: What can I do for you m'dear?
Me: Can I see my report card mark?
Bartsch: They're all posted outside the door.
Me: I know. But because of exams I haven't seen you in three weeks. I missed you.
Bartsch: Awww. I feel special. You didn't know did you?
Me: ....no.

Devon: I had sex yesterday at work!
Caroline: Already? You just got the job!
Amber: With who? The guy who was flirting with you?
Devon: Yep. In the freezer.
Everyone: ....let's not eat anything from the seafood section of Sobey's for a while.

Minoru Inoue
02-02-2007, 08:02 PM
Caitlin minor: I have made a wench!Tidus costume for cosplaying purposes.
Me: *looks at drawing* Oh, wow! Now you won't have to go around shirtless. *grins* It looks really nice.
Caitlin minor: Will you consort with the Final Fantasy theme?
Me: Er... sure. Who do you want me dressed as?
Caitlin minor: *grins* I believe I can manage a wench!Jecht (Tidus' father) costume.

Caitlin minor: *to me* Shall we officiate this relationship... Dad?

(Caitlin minor, Caitlin major -- who is my pretend wife--, and I are sitting at the lunch table)
Me: Oh! Wife! I forgot to tell you... we have a son. ^_^
Caitlin major: What?! *looks at Caitlin minor* Hey yeah... I do see that you two have quite a resemblance.
Me: *dramatic gasp* And BOTH your names are Caitlin! That just proves Caitlin major is the mother.

Me: *all giddy about something I forget*
Caitlin minor: Rayna's easy.
Me: ^_~ How would you know?
Caitlin minor: I'm proof of it.


D-chan: May I have a girlscout cookie?
Me: o___o but all I have are Samoas.
D-chan: Those are my favorite!
Me: o__o nobody gets my samoas...
D-chan: Pleeeeeeeeeease?
Me: ... you'll owe me. *hands her cookie*
D-chan: *eats the cookie* Yay! What do I owe you?
Me: Your soul.
D-chan: *spits out cookie half* You can have it back.

D-chan: Is there anything else I can give you?
Me: *considers for a long moment, twirling imaginary mustache* Yes. One picture of Aquarius and Pisces (two characters in her story) looking incredibly cute -- complete picture and maybe even colored if I'm feeling evil.
D-chan: ...
Me: AND! Another picture of the dragon lady and that girl she is taking care of looking incredibly adorably cute. Complete AND colored too.
D-chan: I don't want the cookie anymore.

Me: You are my slave until you pay me off.
D-chan: Yes, master. *watches as Ellen and I scrub the matresses that we just ate takeout on* *D-chan grins* I kinda like this form of slavery -- me lying back and watching my master and her roommate do all the work.
Me: Gotta wonder why Toasty wanted out. *sticks tongue out*

Me: I have to tell Toasty that he now has a sister in... slavery. I was going to say "sister in bondage" but that just sounded totally wrong.

((Will be continued later))

Erik
02-03-2007, 06:23 AM
HAHA. Rachey.

Rachey: hey Sam
Rachey: my legs are all soft because I just shaved 'em! ^___^ *loves her soft legs*
Sam: hey Rachey
Sam: eeeee
Sam: *rubs your legs*
Rachey: seeeeee
Rachey: nice and soft
Sam: eeee
Sam: <33
Rachey: *wishes the ugly bruises weren't on her legs*
Sam: awwww
Sam: *kisses the soft bruises*
Rachey: damn my clumsiness
Sam: lol
Rachey: how am I supposed to look all hot with my bruises
Sam: hotness radiates from you
Sam: and I'm preeeetty sure guys who think you're hot will be looking a bit higher than your legs
Sam: of course, I'll be clinging to you :p
Rachey: but I'm a small chested girl
Rachey: :-p
Sam: lieeeer. you're like, a C, aren't you?
Rachey: me and my size C
Sam: that's not small!
Rachey: a small C
Sam: I am a C, and I don't call me small
Sam: oh, you're probably HAWT
Rachey: and I'm all tall so its not all that.
Rachey: lol
Sam: hee hee
Rachey: *huggles Sam again*
Rachey: Yay size C!
Sam: *ish huggled again*
Sam: *high fives*
Sam: we win!
Rachey: *high fives*
Rachey: yes we doo
Sam: because we're size C Canadians
Sam: C IS FOR CANADA
Sam: haha
Rachey: I bet if we added our boobage together we'd have boobage enough to rival KT's
Sam: lmfao
Rachey: YES
Sam: I highly doubt that we could rival kt's
Rachey: we could try to rival KT
Sam: I've seen kt's, and they are quite impressive.
Sam: not. possible.
Rachey: and fail
Sam: lmao
Sam: ok, let's combine our boobs
Sam: XD
Rachey: lol
Rachey: yess!
Sam: we win
Sam: hee hee
Rachey: well C = Canada
Sam: yes
Sam: lol
Rachey: Canada = 2nd Biggest Country in the world
Sam: next to kt's boobs
Sam: lol
Rachey: so two C's would be BIG!
Sam: XD
Sam: Canada = second only to kt's boobs
Sam: I'll let her know
Rachey: see my math works again
Sam: she'll be impressed
Sam: lol
Sam: "I didn't know Canada was that big"
Rachey: ^__^
Sam: is probably what she'd say
Sam: lol
Rachey: lol
Rachey: I was being slightly realistic
Rachey: and only aiming for KT boobage
Rachey: not Nadya's
Rachey: cause Nadya is bigger than KT
Sam: XD
Rachey: we have the most interesting late night conversations
Rachey: ^__^
Sam: lmfao yes

Sam: "They say it's not guns that kill people, people kill people.... well.... I'd think that guns would help a little"
Rachey: lol
Rachey: It's the bullets that kill
Sam: XD
Rachey: throwing a gun a person rarely kills them
Sam: lmfao!
Rachey: it just hurts like a pmsing *****
Sam: XD
Sam: I love you

Sam: omg Racheeeeey
Rachey: yes sam?
Sam: they keep telling me to speak Newfie!
Rachey: who does?
Sam: the people in my drama class!
Rachey: ahhhh
Rachey: shall I beat them up?
Sam: yes please
Rachey: okay
Sam: start with Alex
Sam: he maked fun of my speech
Sam: lol
Rachey: Alex
Rachey: *grabs the spatula of utter DOOM*
Sam: XD
Rachey: no one makes fun of my siamese twin and survives!!
Sam: ahhh... I love you

Me: Rachey
Me: Sam loves you
Me: Inside out ^_^
Rachey: YAY
Rachey: but I like me right side in
SuperxSamness (01:16 pm): But.....
Me: *hugs Racheys heart*
Me: I like you inside out
Me: ^_^
Rachey: my guts and things are not for open display!
Me: it's easier to steal your organs that way though
Rachey: *hugs Sam's heart*
Rachey: yes I know
Rachey: but I need my other organs
Me: Ooh
Rachey: I'm all heartless now... well besides the fact that I have your heart
Rachey: lol
Me: Okay......
Me: lol
Me: you can stay outside in I suppose
Rachey: yay
Rachey: outside in?
Rachey: that sounds like a fancy way of saying inside out
Rachey: can I stay outside out?
Me: lol yes

Rachey: Tell your mommy that I love her too
Me: XD
Rachey: cause anyone who gives birth to someone as awesome as Sammy deserves thy Rachey's love
Me: lmfao
Me: I can't tell her right now because she'd be like "...weird"
Me: and I came back and everything
Me: plus, I'm not awesome ^_^;;
Rachey: but you can just be like "but she's this really cool Ontarioian, which means -YES - she's Canadian and she loves you because you gave birth to me and she likes hockey and poutines and she makes pizza for a living but thats okay cause they are rocking pizza's that make socks dance and she says I'm awesome and yeah. She loves you but in a none weird way even though this whole thing is weird."
Rachey: and yes, thy Sammy is awesome
Rachey: Thy Rachey has spoken it.
Rachey: So it must be true
Me: XD
SuperxSamness (11:04 pm): I less than three you
Rachey: wait, what?
Rachey: there's three of me?
Me: lmfao
Me: use your math
Me: less than
Me: three
Rachey: my math is broken!
Me: what's the sign for less than?
Rachey: x.x
Me: ......
Rachey: no, you be like plus ten of me
Me: XD
Me: <
Me: +3
Me: =
Me: <3
Me: so saying I less than three you
Me: is saying I <3 you
Rachey: ahh, wait, your right
Me: lol
Rachey: > that's greater than and this < is less thn
Rachey: but your better than me
Rachey: ohhhh
Me: lmfao
Rachey: I get it
Me: *pats* ^_^;;;
Rachey: I TOLD YOU MY MATH IS BROKEN!
Me: XD

Aaaaaaand as AIM is evil, that's all I have for right now. We have an interesting conversation on how I'm going to Jamacia for free with her (and how we get to take Jon along). I shall edit it in later :p

Forgotten Angel
02-05-2007, 12:21 AM
Zelda: Hating people takes up way too much energy, and as Dad always tells me, "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself."
Me: heh. nice fortune-cookie quote there ^_^ he should sell it to whoever makes those things
Zelda: Hee hee. I think he heard it somewhere else.
Me: ah
Me: probably a fortune cookie

Me: i seriously think i'm a one-woman fanclub for wil/ville, though XD
Amanda: ehehee
Amanda: that you may be
Me: well, two-woman. coz megan is hooked as well
Amanda: i love them too, but those guys seem to have like the super bat man and robin thing going, execpt without the gay thing with tights
Amanda: batman loves robin
Amanda: robin is hot
Amanda: at least the actor in the 70's was
Me: wil is totally the robin of this relationship XD
Amanda: i can see him in the bodysuit, green is not his color, but i see where you are coming from

Me: if only he'd shave....
Amanda: *joins shadow in smacking ville upside the head*

Amanda: seriously, he should take better care of himself
Amanda: i know he would make a lovely jack sparrow impersionator, but he is going too far

Amanda: i guess snow means stare at hot guys on the internet. what else is the internet for

Amanda: stage fright is like a hot guy
Amanda: that you just can't seem to catch
Me: oh, this should be quoteable....
Amanda: hehe
Me: aww, i thought you were gonna have another comparison thing like the "green banana" or whatever it was. XD
Amanda: i am not finished
Amanda: anyway, you keep on running after him, and finally, you pants him and have him all to yourself
Me: XD
Amanda: at that moment, you are calm on stage and having a good time preforming
Amanda: alas stage fright
Amanda: see, it is as simple as that, though, i have short legs and can't run
Amanda: so i crawl
Me: what are you talking about? you can run in high heels
Amanda: yes but for short distances
Amanda: and hot guys even if they have short legs seem to go faster than girls
Me: that's how they avoid getting suffocated by fangirls, silly
Me: it's a defense mechanism
Amanda: ah
Amanda: my lesson of this conversation to you is think of a hot guy who you would like to steal his pants from, and run after him while you are on stage performing, i mean run after him in your head

Me: you. seriously. amuse me.
Amanda: heheh
Amanda: i live to amuse
Amanda: i will write a book that is called stages and pants for girls looking for hot men



Awww, I love Amanda. ^_______^



Me: hah. i just had an amusing image of eden riding in on a white horse and whisking the distressed gabriel off to a faraway safe haven XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
KT: ........would he be wearing shining armor?
Me: why, yes. yes he would.
KT: and would said safe haven include lots and lots of steamy man sex?
Me: hai
KT: okay. sounds good. bring eden in.
Me: XD
Me: *goes to add this to her last post in the quote thread*
KT: *feels added*



I love KT Mae too. ^________^

TheBrit
02-09-2007, 10:35 PM
Okies, I havn't been on in AGES, so therefore I have accumulated a large number of yet more Paul quotes.

"First question. Which cult film starred both Samuel L Jackson and Pulp Ficti................... damn."

*refering to Henry Kissinger's book* "It's a fantastic book! Sadly everything in it is made up, and therefore wrong.... but still..."

Paul: "What do you mean, you didn't bring your essay in?"
James: Well.... I did it, I just forgot to bring it in.
Paul: Well, go and do it now then.
James: But I've already done it.
Paul: So? If I came in naked, you'd send me home to go get some clothes on. You either go home and get the essay, or do it now."

Tom: How did they get the landmines... out of the ground? Did they just go pick them up.
Paul:............................................. .................. pick them up!? *looks down at the ground in glee* OOOh, whats this down here?! Oh shi....

Barack Obama Themed Quotes:

"They have a black man and a woman BOTH running for president, thats pretty impressive. All they need now is a cripple in a wheelchair"

"Hey, why not go one better and have a black female cripple in a wheelchair?"

"It's Obamaman!"

"If I was him, I'd ask Hillary Clinton to be my Vice-President. That way when she says no, she looks uncooperative, and I'd look reasonable"

"Why wouldn't he win an election? The south don't vote for blacks, but they never vote Democrat anyway. They're all backwards bible hicks."

Erik
02-10-2007, 12:34 AM
Chris: I'm sore all over.
Me: From the concert?
Chris: Yep
Me: Who was there?
Chris: Cradle of Filth
Me: Sounds lovely
Chris: Yah, and guess who they brought with them!? Three Inches of Blood!
Me: Did you all light black candles and worship the devil?
Chris: Yes
Me: Were there human sacrifices?
Chris: Yes. We called them... *dramatic pause* ... Mosh Pits

Me: Mmm Florentine.
Mom: What are you eating?
Me: A Florentine!
Mom: Let me try. *takes a bite* EW WHAT IS THAT.
Me: It's a FLORENTINE.
Mom: It's GROSS.
Me: It grows on you
Nick: It GROWS on you?? What, you eat it and it starts growing out of your face?
Me: *facepalm*

Marshall: Did you see the OC last night!?
Substitute teacher: That is ENOUGH TALKING.
Marshall: So, I think that in the next OC...
Birttany: Marshall! Stop breathing!

Forgotten Angel
02-12-2007, 06:44 AM
Yay for RenFaires and the people you meet at them! I <3 Eli. ^_^

Voltaire: "I turned 40 last week. But I feel like I'm still 17. And you know what? I act 17 too."

Voltaire: "It's called a dramatic PAUSE. *dramatic hand motion* I may be an alcoholic, and I may have alzheimers, but I still have DRAMA! *same dramatic hand motion*"

Voltaire: "I finally have backup singers!"

Me: it was really funny; when i got a CD signed for me, he asked who he was making it out to, and i said, "Riana. R-i-a-n-a." and he was like, "R....i....a.... hey, it's like a song! *sings* R-i-a-n-a. R-i-a-n-a. R-i-a-n-a, and Riana was her name-o." me: *laughing* *asks for a picture with him* *gets picture* "Thanks so much! You're amazing!" *calls rayna*
Me: you didn't pick up.
Me: so i wandered around a bit and then tried calling you again
Me: and you answered this time
Rayna: XDDD
Me: so, me and you talk. after i hang up, i go back to where he was signing CDs and pick one. i ask him if he could sign it for my friend Rayna. he says "Rayna? R....a......how do you spell that?" me: "R-a-y-n-a." voltaire: "weren't you....?" me: "i know, it's like a two-letter difference." voltaire: "R-a-y-n-a. R-a-y-n-a. R-a-y-n-a, and Rayna was her name-o."
Rayna: XDDDD
Rayna: I LOVE VOLTAIRE
Rayna: put that in quote thread

Me: oh, btw. he's not a cat person.
Rayna: o.o
Rayna: nuuuuuuu
Rayna: That means I can't marry him

Voltaire: "When I'm President, I will get rid of all this nuclear warfare crap and just drop cats on them. They're much more lethal."

Me: "Dude.... chainmail bras?"

Abby: *takes picture of Shadow with Voltaire*
Voltaire: "Let's see it!"
Abby: *shows*
Voltaire: "That's MySpace worthy, that is!"

Voltaire: "For those of you who don't know me, I am.... Rammstein!"

Eli: "You're stalking us!"
Me: "You're supposed to take that as a compliment."
Mike: "Oh, then... Stalk us! Stalk us!"

Me: "Are you for pirates or ninjas?"
Eli: "Ninjas, all the way."
Me: "I'm middle, leaning towards pirates. Honestly? I'd be all for pirates, but they drink too much."

Eli: "Brilliant deduction."
Me: "I know, aren't I a genius?"

Host: "Ladies and gentleman: Pirates, Making Out!"

Host: "Ladies and gentleman: Girls, Making Out!"

Host: "Ladies and gentleman: Boys, Making Out!"

Minoru Inoue
02-13-2007, 02:26 AM
*in the middle of the cafeteria*
Manuel: *runs by, poking Ellen in the side*
Ellen: *startled, yelps*
Manuel: *running away*
Me: *tackles*

*several minutes later*

Me: *talking to Chibi-chan*
Manuel: *sits down at the table, without my noticing*
Me: *turns* *sees Manuel* *points* YOU! *hides under table.

*several minutes later*

Me: *hides under table again -- I forget why*
Manuel: And I'm just sitting here, and I just so happen to start kicking under the table
Me: *grabs his leg and starts shaking it threateningly, making growling noises*
Manuel: Wait. With you under the table... like that... I just have to wonder what the people around us are thinking -- they're thinking I'm The Man. *as a person* 'That dude has all these chicks around him, and one under the table -- I gotta know how he does it!'
Me: You should start spreading rumors!

Forgotten Angel
02-14-2007, 05:47 AM
Alyssa: "In real life, when two people see each other and something clicks, they say 'Daaaaaaaamn, I'd tap that' not 'Let's get married'!"

Hailey: "I am a firm believer that if Lisa talked louder, she'd grow."

Mike: "Do you want to be on the top or on the bottom? I'll put you on the top."

Megan: "I'm not coming to school on Valentine's Day. I don't have a Valentine."
Me: "I prefer to think of it as Singles Appreciation Day."
Megan: "Will you be my Valentine?"

Michele: "Ryan, you missed it! We're learning about Bob. Bob swings both ways."



Wow. I just found a bunch from back in December!



Jess: "What's a Nat King Cole?"

Roque: "He's supposed to be scoring her."

Amanda: *in deep English accent* "When one's sword is tiny, you can guess the size of his other sword, darling."

Gabby: "The sexond item." (she meant ot say "second")

Emily: "Are they little swords?"

Amanda: "Blow, blow, the winter wind... Is that what they call it now?"

Kelly: "She can sing to keep him satisfied."

Ms. Lavin: "I'm kind of slow today."
TJ: "Only today?"
Me: "The rest of the time she's just high."

Erik
02-14-2007, 06:43 AM
Me: OW
Martina: What!?
Me: I got a splinter T____T
Martina: From what?
Me: .... a stir stick.

Later:

Me: I can't stir the drinks, Jitka took my spoon to wash it
Martina: Well use a stir stick. WAIT. Don't use a stir stick! You might hurt yourself!!!

Me: I feel like a baby, but it hurts
Martina: It's only a splinter
Me: I know. I'll play it up and make it sound like a fatal injury when I try to get Mallory to take my shift
Martina: *shakes me* DON'T DIE! STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!

Mills: So this old guy went swimming on a nude beach, and there was shrinkage a la Seinfield, and he sat down on a beach chair with slats to dry off. His balls went down in the slats, then expanded when they dried and he got stuck
Class: *dies laughing*
Mr. Williams the Guidance Councellor: *walks in* What's so funny?
Sadie: *cough!!* Teacher behind you! Keep it PG-13, Mills!
Mills: This is period sex -- I mean... six. *innocent look*
Williams: *dies laughing then walks out*

Dakota: Oh, my donut breakfast is SO healthy *sarcasm*
Me: My bacon and egger isn't much better
Dakota: At least you have food groups!

Marshall: I wish I had a street named after me. One day there WILL be a Marshall Wells Avenue
Dr. Salmon (french teacher): Oh, YES *sarcasm* And I'm a martian!
Marshall: I would pay big money to live on a street named after me

Marshall: What!? Brandy got 17/18, and I only got 16/18... but I cheated off of her!
Dr. Salmon: Well if you cheated I'll give you a zero
Marshall: JUSTKIDDING!

Mr. Bartsch: When I was just a little sh*t... I mean... kid...

Bartsch: My dad had a theory. If you had to eat, you might as well drive as you did it. So by the time I was 15, I had been in 49 states.

Bartsch: And my grade two teacher would say "What's Denver like, Mr. Bartsch?" Only she wouldn't call me Mr. Bartsch, she'd call me my real name, which you're not allowed to call me or I'll smack you in the head. *grin*

Mr. Prockiw: Hi Sam
Me: PROCKIW! You called my mother and told her I wasn't in my final and she therefore didn't know where I was and was worried sick when I was the FOURTH PERSON IN THE GYM.
Prockiw: Is that true, Alex?
Alex: Yep.
Prockiw: *sigh* Ok, FINE. You can hit me, jut once. Only chance you'll ever get to hit a teacher.
Me: *whacks him in the leg, as he is standing and I was sitting*
Alex: AWWWWWW. That's IT!?!?!? You could have at least BAGGED him!!!!!!!!!!

((Alex still hasn't forgiven the fact that I didn't bag Prockiw in the balls :p))

Alex(ander): How do you get crumbs on your shirt from eating an APPLE?
Alex(andra, his girlfriend): ....I don't know....
Me: *facepalm*

Superhilarious Edit: A gmail chat with Jon.

me: happy valentine's day : )
J: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!
;)
me: hee hee
how is my Jon?
J: cold
lol
me: lol
J: the office is cold
me: awww
at least your inside. in an hour I have to go wait for my bus
blech
J: bundle up
me: lol I will
it's getting warmer though!
^___^
only -13 today
J: we had a small ice storm here last night that knocked out my power
me: and +1 tomorrow
awwww that sucks
J: + W00T
me: XD
J: I need to go clean my bosses lab bench
we are having visitors tomorrow
me: exciting
J: but it's right next to a huge bank of windows....
cold....
me: bundle up
:p
J: with what
me: lab coats?
J: all I have it my heavy coat
me: layers!
lol
J: and my lab jacket
well... I only have three lab jackets
me: collect everyone else's lab coats
J: two of them have been sent out for cleaning
.....
not a bad idea
me: lol
I'm so smart
J: that you are
:p
I need to go clean so I can steal time this afternoon to finish up posties
me: lol okies
J: so that I don't ahve them hanging over my head
me: like the owlery?
:p
J: cause I won't be on toninght most likely
yes like the owlery
me: well duh
it's V Day
J: hey don't poke too hard
me: and you have a girlfriend
J: you owe me two
me: lol... oh yeah
XD
J: don't make me go all crazy on you
me: haaaaah. you couldn't if you tried
J: that's true
me: lol
J: I'd be like *waggles finger* and you be like *sniff* and I'd be like *feels guilty*
me: XD
J: yes... I'm feeling a little silly this morning
me: yeah... sounds about right
lol
only, I'm feeling dramatic, so you would be all waggles finger and I would be all sniff**sob**dramatic breakdown*
and you would be like whaaaaaat
J: LOL
me: ^__^
J: this to is true oh wise one
me: XD
lol
omg. before you go
J: still here
me: wanna know why I don't want to go to school today?
J: cause it's -13 outside isn't a good enough reason not to want to leave the house?
me: lol not really, yesterday was -24
J: oh...
why then
me: but today is V Day, and consequently, our Students Union has set up a few activities....
J: ?
like what
me: one of which my friends, who don't know about kt, want to shove me into
J: ....
me: like speed dating in the cafeteria at lunch
J: uh oh
me: x__x
J: lol
oh c'mon
me: I was like *dies* noooooo
J: you could have fun with it
me: noooooo
lol
J: screw with thier heads
me: HAHA
how?
J: "Hi... you're not that cute... but I might date you if you promise to do all my homework for the rest of the semester"
me: LMFAO
J: "I'm sorry... you seem nice enough but you just have a vibe about you that screams *foot fetish*"
me: XDDDD
J: "I'd love to go out with you... as long as its not a problem with you that my parent perform a little ritual before we leave the house... you are allergic to pigs blood are you?"
me: HAHAHAHA. OMG. dies
I love you!!!!!!
J: *aren't
<3
me: haha! <3
ahhhh, now you've got me actually contimplating this, crazy man
J: LOL
warn your friends that you will if they make you go through with it
me: XD I will
J: tell them you can't date cause you are involved in a internet trist with a sexy older man...
... and his sister
me: AHAHAHAHA
J: which will freak them out
but we're from Kentucky so that sorta thing is acceptable
;)
me: ROFLMAO
J: I'm a horrible influence...
why do you put up with me
:)
me: lol apparently you're just too damn sexy :p
J: *blushes*
me: lol
J: welll only if you say so
lol
me: actually...
you did
lol
but suuuuuuure
J: hey...
no point confusing a good story with a little thing like fact
me: XD
J: yeah... I'm pretty much stupidly giddy at this point
me: I noticed
lol
J: ignore me to the best of your ability
hard as that may be since I'm so damn sexy
me: LOL
J: (you have any idea how hard that is to even type with a straight face)
alright...
you need to get bundled up for shcool
me: lol.
that I do
J: I'm going to go put on my ipod and dance around the lab while playing with potent chemical cleaning agents
YAY!
contain your jealousy
me: LOL
I'll try
J: ;)
love you darlin'
me: love you too
J: I'll prolly drop you a note later
me: yaaaay notes
J: since I'm certain that you will talk to her today of all days
send KT my best
me: okies ^_____^
bye bye
J: Later
peace out
me: XD
J: *throws white boy gang sign*
me: HAHAHAHAHA

So did not mean to double post:
Mills: Isn't it ironic that Valentine's Day falls on a hump day this year?

Me (yesterday): Sadie, what did you eat for lunch? It made you insane.
Sadie: Cucumbers.

Me (today): Sadie, you're insane again. What's in that sandwhich you're eating?
Sadie (with a full mouth): ...cucumbers.

Marshall (after Brody sneezed): I say "God bless you" when someone sneezes. I don't say "Bless you --"
Me: Because I'm not the Lord. I can't DO that. I'm just a messanger from big guns upstaires!
Marshall: You b!tch! You knew what I was going to say!

Marshall: Hey Rameez, what's on that pizza???
Rameez: Nothing you'd like
Brody (to Marshall): HAHA. Cuz you're fat.

Marshall: Turn to page 159. WOO what a cutie.

Dr. Salmon: But if you're like Marshall and you don't work...
Brody: HAHA. I like how you said his name

Marshall: Doc Sam, what's your first name?
Dr. Salmon: Geoff
Marshall: Geoff with a G!? Like, geff-ree?
Dr. Salmon: ....no... like... jeff-ery. With a G.
Marshall: I'm gonna call you Dr. G.

Melissa: Is mom home?
Me: No, why?
Melissa: Oh, I got into a car accident
Me: OMG. Did the car die?

Mom: Hey Sam
Me: Did you talk to Moo?
Mom: No, why?
Me: She was in a car accident
Mom: WHAT!?!?
Me: She's not hurt!
Mom: ...I have to pee

Bartsch: When I write an email to the other teachers, and I'm mad at them, I always write "Because such and such and such, DUMB ASS"
Me: o-o HAHAHAHA
Bartsch: Well, I don't actually write Dumb ass.... but I do write DA. And that's close enough. I say it and they don't know what it means -- we're all happy
Me: Really?
Bartsch: Yep
Me: And no one's figured it out yet?
Bartsch: I think they're scared to ask...

Bartsch: I knew one teacher who heard me say 'piss' one time, and she said "If I ever hear you say that again, I'll get you fired!"
Me: o-o
Bartsch: So I said "Well... go PISS off!"
Me: *dies laughing*
Bartsch: And she looked shocked. So I said "Am I PISSING you off yet? Because you look PISSED." But I apologized! I saw her the next day and said, "Look, I'm really sorry for PISSING you off the other day."

Edit again: Almost forgot one of the best ones.

Bartsch: Women are SO intelligent
Me: *grin* I would know
Bartsch: But they do stupid things sometimes. Like go with STUPID guys. And we're just not worth it
Me: HAH. Yes. Like my sister.
Bartsch: Is she dating an idiot?
Me: Yes. He didn't want her to go to college because he's scared she'll meet someone with gee, I dunno, a future
Bartsch: And intelligance?
Me: And commen sense
Both of us: *grave nod* *bursts into laughter*

Bartsch: My wife and I are celebrating a fantastic anniversary next month, so in the summer we're going to Europe. We'll travel through France, then German, and down to Spain. It works out funny because I know french, she knows german, but neither one of us knows a damn word of spanish. She said the first phrase she'll learn will be "Can you get my husband a beer so he'll SHUT UP?"

Minoru Inoue
02-15-2007, 05:19 AM
Caitlin: I have a hostage! I have a hostaaagggeee!!!

Caitlin: *creeped out, staring at my Halloween decoration that is a bloody handprint* What’s that on the window? It’s red and has hand.
Danielle: I’ll say it does!

Me: Because you have fun princess skin that turns fun colors depending on your mood. Like a mood ring.
Ellen: Um… Yay, I’m a mood ring?

Me: *to Ellen* Want to watch a famous crossdressing comedian?
Ellen: … is everyone you know a crossdresser?
Me: *thinks about this a moment* Yeah. I guess so. This is just the way my life is right now.


Pyro: how do you undehydrate?
Kitty112087: by hydrating, dear

Caitlin: Dance.
D-chan: *falls*
Caitlin: I said dance, not fall.
D-chan: *falls again*

D-chan: *falls, shifting the computer’s position* *then goes over to pick up the controller and drops it*
Me: You’re just a little wrecking ball today, aren’t you?

D-chan: Yacht!

Caitlin: I’m afraid we’ll sing along
Me: We’ll hit each other if we start singing.
Caitlin: Can we hit Ellen if she’s singing along?
Me: Yes.

Caitlin: Can I hit you both for lip synching?

D-chan: With yachts! And sailboats! And birds. And beachballs. Oooh~! Fun beach balls.

Caitlin: You’re talking too fast for Rayna to type.

Caitlin: Jump! Jump!
Ellen: I’m jumping! You can’t stop me.



Megan: His voice is like liquid sex…

Pyro: People confetti!

Caitlin: If I find you on AIM tomorrow, I will hurt you.
Me: I’ll go on invisible mode. Super-special invisible mode. Invisible mode with insurance.

Ellen: Chibi-chan! Don’t pop her bottle!
Me: The phrase is “burst her bubble.”

Me: It’s not that I didn’t believe you; I just thought you were lying.

kilIingxtime: .....Mike spelled your name Reyna XD
kilIingxtime: xTanubisTx: O>o
xTanubisTx: hey reyna ^_^
Kitty112087: XD
Kitty112087: Hey Myke!

Ellen: Ah, the smell of peanut butter… in bed.

Ellen: life is like a Ritz cracker smeared with peanut butter; it always tastes better in bed.

Kitty112087: *totally didn't realize the page loaded*

Caitlin: Here is where me and my pants part company.

Me: Because I'm God.
Caitlin: If I'm your son... what does that make me?
Me: *puts my arm around her* Everybody, meet my son: Jesus Tidus Christ.
(If you don't get that one, refer to one of my previous posts.)

The Khanum
02-15-2007, 03:50 PM
Some rather amusing discussions at lunch...

KT: I have a hickey shaped like a strawberry on my hip.
Lindsay: ...How'd it get there?
KT: Sorry, did I say hickey? I meant birthmark.
Hilary: Yeah, I'm sure you did. [/sarcasm]
Lindsay: How'd he get all the way down there?
KT: No, seriously, I meant a hickey. IMEANBIRTHMARK!!

Amee: I've never had a boyfriend, *sigh*.
Brandi: I've never been kissed, *sigh*.
Lindsay: I've never gone farther than first base, *sigh*.
KT & Leah: *Do not contribute to this conversation*
Leah (to me): It's okay. We can be co-sluts together.

And random points in the day...

Leah: Co!
KT: Co!
Les deux: *High five*
Everyone else: ...What the hell, yo?

While playing James Bond...

Anne: ...KT, did you name your character 'Boobies'?
KT: *Giggles*
Anne: I'm in awe of your maturity.
KT: *Giggles some more*

Liz: Take that, Boobies! Haha, that never gets old...

Erik
02-16-2007, 11:41 PM
Mr. Begrand (to Jackie as the bell rang): You have no purpose
Jackie: *gasp* YOU have no purpose!

Jon: I won't be brought down by a burrito. Enchilada. Manicotti... thing

Mills: What's wrong with everyone? Today's the one day you're supposed to dress up and EVERYWHERE you look, there's skin
Rory: It's not 'Touch of Class', it's 'Touch of Trash'!
Mills: Sam! Morgan! You two are beautiful!

Mills: Sadie... is today a cucumber day?
Sadie: I have grapes
Mills: ....is that good or bad?

Bartsch: Oh, shut up your giggleing

Bartsch: I used to worry my daughter would get into all sorts of troubles with boys, until one day she looked at me and said "Dad! Stop worrying! I'm working towards a masters right now, I don't have time to be ****ing around!" MY daughter said that!
Me: Can't see where she gets it...
Bartsch: Total mystery

Bartsch: We're missing one person. Whoever's not here, raise your hand. *pause* You're all useless.

Brother: I wish it wasn't raining. I wish there was no precipitation. Snow. Rain. Sleet. Hail. Snow... again.

Marshall: ER. ES. E with an accent!
Dr. Salmon: The answer is EST
Marshall: That was going to be my second guess
Brody: Slash fourth

Marshall: What does 'tout les hommes' mean?
Doc Sam: What?
Marshall: What?
Doc Sam: Tout les hommes? All the men? Is THAT what you think about all the time?

Question: Les filles? Il les a rencontr___ en Grece.
Marshall: E with an accent!
Doc Sam: Funny girls YOU know. So, you think about men all the time, and masculin women...

Marshall: Dr. Salmon, where are you from?
Doc Sam: Originally London, but I lived for a while in Germany. When all my friends come down they're like LET'S GO TO THE MOUNTAINS. Never mind the cities, they want to go up to the bush!
Brody: You should tell them you're from Ballsack, Alberta

KT totally stole les deux from me :p *hugs*

Kaze
02-19-2007, 12:44 AM
Some stuff that made my weekend worth it. *collapses on her essays due tomorrow*

Roommate: I'm falling asleep~ and I have to study!
Me: Stand up on your chair.
Roommate: *stands up on her chair*
Me: *cracks up*

Roommie: *standing on the chair* I think I'm going to call my friend.
Me: Don't you want to come off the chair first?
Roommie: Nah, I feel like the statue of procrastination.

Roommie: *puts her friend on the speakerphone* Hey! Guess what I am doing! I am standing on a chair, in the middle of my room lecturing my roommate on procrastination~
Male voice on the phone: What are you doing on a chair?
Roomie: Lecturing! It's your turn! Have you called your girlfriend, yet? It's Valentine's!
Male voice on the phone: No, not yet.
Roomie: Wayne, call your girlfriend.
Male voice on the phone: But I'm talking to you right now.
Roommie: Call your girlfriend now.
Male voice: But--
Roommie:Erika tell him to call his girlfriend. Wait! Tell him to call his girlfriend in French!
Me: *shocked* Why--
Roommie: Hey! I sleep on the bed next door. Wait. Not next door, next to yours, so technically I know where you sleep!
Me: Okay. Wayne, telephone ta petite copine.
Male voice: Dude! Your roommate speaks French!
Roommie: No kidding Wayne, she's a French major! Wait! Now tell him in Spanish.
Me: *sighs* Llama a tu novia, ahora. Why does that sound so rehearsed?
Roommie: Because you rehearse it every night.
Me: WHAT?
voice: What? Is she like a dominatrix, or something?
Me: SHUT UP!!!
Roomie: *cracks up*
Voice: *cracks up*
Me: *Wished Earth would open up*

((A little background? Or too much background? Anyway, in my college you have "suites" with three bedrooms, a common bathroom, a common living room and a common sink area. My dorm, is the only one in the suite that's doubled up. So technically I have my roommie, and two other roommates who happen to have their own rooms in which things 'happen'.))

Me: I think they took a look at the charts and put the two worst procrastinators in the school in the same dorm.
Roommie: Yeah! They took a look at the charts and put the two most procrastinating girls together! We rock!
Me: Yeah! They put us together and stuck us in the whore house!
Roommie: Yeah! They stuck the procrastinators in the whore house!


Roommie: *trying to obsess me with Grey's Anatomy*
Me: Stop it, Jess. I have a double major and teacher prep. I have HOMEWORK! Tons and tons of homework!
Roommie: Yeah, and it's all, all over your bed while you're procrastinating!
Me: Coming for the pre-med wanna be surgeon that's doing the exact same thing it isn't nearly as bad as you want it to sound.
Roommie: Language freak.
Me: Pre-med junkie.
Roommie: So... wanna watch Grey's Anatomy?
Me: I told you I have homework!
Roommie: In the first episode you get to see this guy's butt. *points to picture of Dr. Sheperd*
Me: Where's the DVD?

Me: *watching Grey's Anatomy* Woah! This guy is a brain surgeon! He's is HAWT! I think I'm in love!
Roommie: You can't have him, he's not French.
Me: I'll fight you for him.
Roommie: Bring it on, I'm the soccer player!
Me: And I'm the dominatrix!
Roommie: We can share...
Me: Okay. :)

Forgotten Angel
02-20-2007, 05:04 PM
Many more to be added later.

Witek Studentcki: im gonna fight mike for tm
Witek Studentcki: *tom
kilIingxtime: i thought we decided we could share him? :-P
Witek Studentcki: haha well i get the bottom half and the head =]
kilIingxtime: lmao.
kilIingxtime: well, he recognized me, so I want an equal share with you :-P
Witek Studentcki: kay! we can just like clone him
kilIingxtime: sure!

Mike's Away Message last night....

Ri: Going to bed, thanks for taking me to this concert. I WANT TOM'S BABIES

Everyone: GOOD NIGHT

TOM: I WANT YOUR BABIES!!!!!!!!!




Courtney: "I have Tom's saliva in my mouth. I OWN TOM!"

Kerith: "Hi!" *smiles and waves*

Sorry, that just made me so happy. ^_^ I HEART KERITH!!!

PhAnToMeSs07
02-20-2007, 09:50 PM
So, our band director is out the whole week at school and we get to watch musicals today being Phantom of the Opera (how ironic). So, I have different movie modes that i go into. When you have watched it as many times as myself, you sort of develop them. My one where I sorta of like the way it ends, another one where I cry the whole way through it, and the other one I narrate in the background as people watch it (in other words, I make stupid and hillarious jokes). Today it happened to be the last of those. Here are the people involved in the dialogue: Jarred, Myself, Ben

(Scene is halfway through MOTN)

Me: I swear she has got to have some pretty strong resistance not to just jump him. I wouldn't have made it to the end of that song (hint hint, sexual meaning implied there)

Jarred: Miranda, you wouldn't have made it out of the boat with your clothes on. Miranda would be like, "I slipped and fell in the water and the rocks ripped my clothes off!"

Miranda: (I slap him) I would not! I am not that much of a slut!

Jarred: I didn't say you were a slut, I said you would have your clothes off before you got out of the boat because it's the Phantom.

Miranda: Hmm, point taken and ur probably right anyways. (Followed by everybody busting out laughing)


Later on in PONR:

Ben: (Phantom is at the line 'What sweet seduction lies before us' and Christine is in ecstacy) Isn't it weird that they are doing that in front of all those people.

Me: (not meant the way it was taken) I wouldn't care who we did it in front of.



There are many more concerning the movie but I will stop there. It was hilarious. A more of 'had to be there' situation.

Erik
02-22-2007, 03:25 AM
Following is a result of a three way phone conversation with my longtime friends Anna and Bethany.

Bethany: Why do people think things are cooler in slow motion? "Hey, this is funny. Let's SLOW IT DOWN FIVE TIMES!"

Bethany: Paris Hilton is the worst person alive. Why would anyone want to watch her in slow motion?
Me: Why would anyone want to watch her at all?
Bethany: Good point. I wish she'd just fund a hole, and get inside. Then cover it up. And stay there.
Me: But she might get her shoes dirty.

Bethany: Our school dances suck. I can't even dance, so I don't even know why I go. I'm like "Please, take my money from me"

Bethany: Only like, 200 people show up to the dances. And most of them are young and like "Haha should I ask him to dance? *giggle* L-O-L, I'll just write him a note! 'Circle yes if you want to dance with me!!'" And the skeets just make love with their clothes on.

Bethany (in french accent): VIVE LE NORWAY!

Bethany: I can't find what I'm looking for so I think I'll just give up right away
Anna: You're a trooper, Beth

Bethany (to her dog): ROLO! I'm going to kill you!

Me: I love Firefox
Bethany: I hate Firefox! I get upset when I use other people's computers and I can't find the IE button. Firefox makes me laugh. More like ASSFOX. Oh. You got dissed.

Bethany: Anna, are we allowed to invite guests to the dance?
Anna: I think so. Ask Aaron to go with you
Bethany: I might. But I'm scared he'll be like "This dance is dumb. Go over there and be dumb and tall alone"

Me: You're not that dumb. I was elected dumbest person in my drama class because I... hit myself in the head... with a stool. *shame*
Bethany: That's not so bad. You're talking to the girl who stapled her finger today. It hurt
Anna: And that's a true story

Bethany: Anna do you still like Nick?
Anna: No, his mouth smells like a barn
Bethany: Sam, since you left he really let himself go. His teeth are like *zombie voice* BRUUUUUUUUSH MEEEEEEE

Anna: Sam, are you still dating........?
Me: Ah.. sort of... we're having trouble
Anna: Awww, I'm sorry
Bethany: Sorry, what happened? Why are we sad? I missed that
Anna: There was a holocaust, and all of Sam's family died. Except her. And she still has a phone so she can call us
Bethany: ......awwwwwww.

Me: Anna, you're insane
Anna: I know. I just hit my nose off of my knee

Bethany: Here's a video of a cat sleeping for seven hours

Bethany: OH YEAH. I forgot you had a brother
Me: I have a sister too
Bethany: Yeah, I remember her, she's pretty. But your brother was like... *snorts like a pig*

Bethany: Why the hell is your name Dorothy!?

Bethany: One minute, I'm typing
Me: Okay
Bethany: All right, done. Brain strain over

Bethany: I hate how Jim Carrey's hair is long now. All the male celebrities are like "It's cool to be long and dirty looking". They're like hobo celebrities

Bethany: YOU LISTEN TO DANE COOK!?!?!?!? You just earned so many love points. You're at, like, the top of the scale right now

Bethany: I like how America is the stupidest country in the world. They can blow up a bomb bt can't explaine why it goes 'BOOM'!

Minoru Inoue
02-26-2007, 05:34 AM
*Ellen and I are watching Sailor Moon R*
Ellen: *looks at Fiori* He’s kinda hot.
Me: He’s gay though.
Ellen: I know, but still.


Murdoc: Kids eh? Little treasures. I love ‘em. I couldn’t eat a whole one though.

2-D: When I die, I want it to be in my sleep, like my dad. Not screaming, like his passengers.

Guts: We’re double-mounted.
Me: *splutters* They’re WHAT?!


*a bunch of frat-boys are laughing loudly outside our window*
Ellen: I wonder what’s so funny
Me: Probably anything; they don’t sound incredibly intelligent.

Sir Gawain passage: Very gay was this great man guised all in green,
And the hair of his head with his horse’s accorded.
Paul: Color coordinated? I’ll say he’s gay!


Ellen: *pointing out her snake-monster and pet cat she has in Warcraft*
Me: Ohhhhhh~ They’re sooooo cute! Ellen… buy me one as a pet.
Ellen: I can’t buy them in this game.
Me: I mean in real life.
*5 min later*
Me: *points to cat and snake-monster* I want that and that… and the guy… if he’ll take off his clothes.
Ellen: That’s a girl actually.
Me: Then the girl if she takes off her clothes; I’m not picky.

kilIingxtime: graaaaaaaandma
kilIingxtime: what's stratification?
Kitty112087: Stratification?
Kitty112087: hold on
Kitty112087: kekeke sounds dirty
Kitty112087: I know what it is
Kitty112087: but it's on the tip of my tongue
kilIingxtime: i think it has something to do with classification
kilIingxtime: but i'm not sure
Kitty112087: Yes
Kitty112087: It is the layers of a classification
Kitty112087: the hierarchy, if you will
kilIingxtime: o.0 weird
Kitty112087: why?
Kitty112087: Did someone use it wrong?
kilIingxtime: no
kilIingxtime: i'm just like..... i think it's weird
Kitty112087: yeah
Kitty112087: it's an odd word
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: still sounds dirty
kilIingxtime: hahahaha
Kitty112087: I say it has to do with dominatrixes
kilIingxtime: XD
Kitty112087: ^_~ THAT'S stratification all right
kilIingxtime: XD

Me: *stretches my feet onto ellen’s lap*
Ellen: Rayna… I will bite your feet.
Me: I want to see you do that. Not experience it. But I want to see you do it.

Forgotten Angel
02-26-2007, 10:15 PM
Adding some more from the concert.

Ronnie: "COME ON EVERYONE, DO YOU WANA HAVE AN ORGASM WITH US!?"
Crowd: *screams/cheers*
Ronnie: "Alright! Let's do this! EVERYONE HAVE A ****ING ORGASM!!!!"

I <3 Ronnie. ^_^;

Steve: "I want some candy right about now."

Steve: "Everything that could go wrong today for all the bands has gone wrong."

Steve: "IS THIS A HARDCORE SHOW?!"
Crowd: *screams*
Steve: "THEN MOVE!"

Steve: "Our driver was rushed off to the hospital before tonight's show, so, who here can drive?"
Half the crowd: *screams*
Steve: "We need a driver, so if you're interested, come talk to us after the show."

Steve: "This song is for all of you, because you're all such beautiful people."

And just so the world knows, Kerith's violin solo on "Dark Carnival of the Immaculate" was probably one of my favorite concert moments of, like, ever. ^_^;

I'm sure I'm forgetting some quotes. They'll come to me eventually.

PhAnToMeSs07
02-27-2007, 03:00 AM
My AP English teacher is insane and today we started reading Macbeth. Well, we started out with the standard background of England's Kings and Queens. Here is how this convo went down...for the most part...maybe some words different cause I don't remember, lol:


Mr Stancil (English Teacher obviously): Okay, so, Elizabeth croaks and James I takes the crown. Now, this fellow is a real hoot.

Josh: Is this the King James who wrote the King James Version of the Bible?

Stancil: Yes, and if you knew all the stuff he did you would burn the version he wrote. But anyways, as I was saying, he was obsessed with demonology. Well, one day this man decides he is going to say bye bye to James I. This guys name happens to be Guy Fawkes.

Me (Who has been half asleep and my eyes light up at the name): GUY FAWKES!!!

Stancil (funny look):.....

Me: Hello??? V for Vendetta?

Stancil (Continues talking): So, he dug a tunnel under parliment and planned to go boom boom with a bunch of gun powder when James I sat down on his throne...Bye Bye Birdie...too bad he was caught and hung.

Me: Remember Remember the fifth of November,

(Several other class members who love V for Vendetta like I do sing with me:) the gun powder treason and plot...I know of no reason why the gun powder treason shall ever be forgot!

We all bust out laughing as well as Mr. Stancil himself. Then we convinced him to let us watch it when we got done reading Macbeth.

AngelInDisguise
02-27-2007, 10:48 PM
Ok so my school is full of idiots so everyday somebody says or does something stupid so I have a lot of quotes.

--

In English class we are about to take a test and two of the guys are talking and laughing.
English teacher-- What are you two talking about?
Josh-- We're just talking about how people have broken their flatscreen tv's because their wii remote flew out of their hands and...
English teacher-- (interrupts) nevermind just shut up.

me-- (for an assignment) *walks into a wall*
Brandon-- Do it again!
me-- *does it again*
Brandon-- Ok, now do it again and really hit your head this time.
me-- How about I hit your head?

---

Most of the quotes come from Math though, we're a bunch of idiots in there especially our math teacher.

Randy-- Hey it's snowing outside.
(5 min. later)
Kai-- Hey it's snowing outside.
Randy-- I just said that.
(A couple minutes later)
Math teacher-- Hey it's snowing outside, that would make a great screensaver for my computer (he walks over to the window) Hey look there's a bird and it has something in it's mouth...I wonder what it is.

Paris-- My French teacher just used reverse phsycology on me, she gave me a notebook and a letter.
me-- She gave me the same thing a couple months ago...now I'm not special anymore...
Paris-- Well your still special to me...special ed.

Taty-- I don't want to go to Global we have a test today.
Math teacher-- Then don't go.
Taty-- Mr! Your setting a bad example for us!

Brie-- Mr! When will we need to use graphing in our lives?
Math Teacher-- When your graphing something duh!

Math Teacher-- Since you all passed the first quarter by some miracle I'm going to throw you a party.
Randy-- With Pizza?
Math Teacher-- At 8:30 in the morning? Yuk!
Me-- You don't have to eat it, we will.
Math Teacher-- It's still a no.

Math Teacher-- Can anybody tell me the answer to number 7?
Randy-- *raises his hand*
Math Teacher-- Come on can't somebody that isn't a know it all answer the question?

Math Teacher-- Brie your handwriting sucks!
Kai-- Mr you can not say that! You're a teacher, teachers aren't allowed to say that!
Math Teacher-- Since when?

--
Ok, since nothing interesting happened that I can remember this is me and two of my friends at lunch and me and two of my other friends after school.

Meka-- Ok, see that guy over there? The one next to my cousin.
me-- yeah...
Meka-- He's hot.
Sarah-- Who's hot?
Meka-- You're so nosy why do you always butt into my conversations asking Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

Meka-- Who else here is bored? Are you bored Sarah?
Sarah-- no.
Meka-- Are you bored Cat?
me-- Yeah.
Meka-- Let's write another fake love note to Frankie! I'll send him the lyrics to the song but I'll change all the she's and her's to him's and he's.

me-- OMG! Meka look!
Meka-- What?
me-- That guy you like was standing right there.
Meka-- Don't do that to me! *goes on and on with things I can't remember then pauses* Was he looking at me?
me-- No.
Meka-- Good.

Sarah-- Who are you guys talking about?
me-- One of the guys she likes...Meka you like way too many guys.
Meka-- I only like two those three guys sorta but I really like Alex.
me-- Alex?
Meka-- Yeah Alex...wait which Alex are we talking about again?
me-- I don't know, which one do you like the most?
Meka-- The Alex in your spanish class.

Albert-- Cliff, did you see it snowing outside?
Cliff-- It's snowing outside?
Albert-- Yeah, pretty hard too.
me-- Maybe we'll get out of school early.
Albert-- Yeah and once we get out of school it can stop snowing!

Cliff-- You know Cat, you and Albert...if you put the first letter's of your names together you get AC, like AC Moore!

--
Ok...those are the only ones I can really remember because I know there are like a million more in school alone, outside of school is a whole other story.

The Khanum
02-28-2007, 12:45 AM
(These sound really stupid in retrospect. XD Ah, well.)

Me: Would you still be my friend if I was the Antichrist?
Hilary: ...Hell no, b*tch.

Eric: *Talking about the French Revolution* So did they actually call that time period 'The Terror' during the Revolution?
Dustin: Nah, the Brits write history. They called it that.

Nick: Oh god, I'm having a Shakespearegasm.

And this one is for Sam --
Evan: Question. Has anything of historic significance ever happened in Canada?

All of my male friends to me: God, you are such a guy!

Jason: You like video games and sex. You're going to make a man very, very happy someday.
Me: What if I don't like men?
Jason: ...Dammit.

L'edit: Wait! This just happened, and it made me laugh.

KT's dad: *Is planning our vacation in Disney World and making reservations at various restaurants in Epcot* They don't have any place to eat in Canada.
Me: ...What kind of food would they serve at a Canadian restaurant?
KT's mom: True. Canada's not known for its food. It's known for...
KT's dad: ...
KT's mom: ...
Me: ...Hockey?

Forgotten Angel
03-02-2007, 05:21 AM
Okaaaaaaaaay. Lots and lots and lots of quotes. Mostly from AIM conversations.



Courtney: im ALWAYS cold it sucks
Courtney: even in the summer
Courtney: im the girl that wears like a winter coat to warped tour

Courtney: and i figured it out!
Courtney: okay
Courtney: mike can have tom
Courtney: and we get kerith and seth
Me: okay!
Courtney: yay!
Courtney: unless we are feeling tom-ish
Courtney: then we can steal him from mike

Me: *is a complete and total slasher chick*
Courtney: WIL AND VILLE
Me: yes
Me: come on, you can't tell me you've never thought about those two being together? @_@ it's SO obvious XD
Courtney: I IKNOW!
Courtney: ITS SO HOT TOO

Courtney: im like
Courtney: totally typing tteeeny all week
Courtney: its all about LAWLZ and LOLZ

Me: i'm not gonna share the sex scene until i'm done writing it :-P
Courtney: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Me: *pats*
Courtney: :[[[
Me: oh come on, you can't tell me you want to be in the middle of reading a sex scene and then have it just stop :-P

Courtney: its like a woah moment


I <3 Courtney. ^_^


Me: *blink* you were 7th in line for the nov. 22nd show? seriously? dude. i was, like, RIGHT THERE
Me: XD
Justine: i knew u looked firmillia
Me: me and my friend megan were, like, #10 and 11 in that line before people started cutting
Me: wooooooow. small world XD
Justine: haha i kno
Justine: got there at 3 tho
Me: got there around 3:30 or 4-ish
Justine: haha nice cold tho
Me: yeah
Me: me and megan were, like, huddling against the wall and then in the middle of the sidewalk
Justine: lol heatlamps
Me: hehehhe. those heat lamps were godly


I <3 Justine too. ^_^


Me: AFI, I Am Ghost (who I saw last night, btw, and they were amazing), and 30STM are all in that issue too
Me: I WANT IT
Shelby: yeah i know
Shelby: x_x me too
Me: *might ask Matt to send it to her next time he's on* i'm still waiting for the 2006 in review issue he sent me to arrive T_T
Shelby: haha
Me: i bet it's being held at customs
Me: "ZOMGS. there's a band called Bullet For My Valentine in this magazine. IT MUST BE PROMOTING VIOLENCE!"
Shelby: heh heh.
Me: i'm serious. if it's not here by March
Me: i'm gonna find some way to contact customs
Me: and ask where the **** my magazine is

Me: I'm not gonna get my hopes up; that's usually when things turn around and go bad. So I'm gonna assume that it really is just a random invitation to hang out.
Shelby: assume it's nothing till it slaps you in the face
Shelby: and goes
Shelby: "god damn it shadow, i'm a something!"

Me: i'm a reverse mormon
Me: girl with multiple husbands

Mike: bc he's like "I WANA SCREAM SDL:KFJSL:DKJFLSDKJFL:JSF CHEEESE" ::next song::

Me: i got an animal ^_^
Mike: i bet if I were a girl i'd gotten one tooooo

Mike: i want tom :
Me: he's straight, hun. *pats*
Mike: you don't know that FOR sure :P
Me: it says it in his myspace profile
Me: and he didn't give you an animal
Mike: :P
Mike: bc he doesnt' want to admit his homotasticallness
Me: i'll let you know once i've married him ;-)

Sam: I'm not happy at all
Me: *makes you happy* I MARRY YOU RIGHT NOW!

Sam: You don't need to be fantastic to be fantastic.

Me: but samness IS supercalifrogilisticexpialidociously fantastic!

Me: i tend to make friends at concerts quite easily
Sam: I would imagine
Sam: as you're the happiest when you're looking forward to, at, or remembering a concert :p plus, put you in a room with a *****in' band and people who love it as much as you, and BOOM. auto-friend

Me: i'm such a one-woman street team

Me: Seth gives the BEST hugs you will ever get from a straight guy!

Mike: hahahahahahahahahahah.... i want this
Mike: if they ever come buy us again we should bang them
Mike: I mean see them

Sam: you got an estimated 3 minutes.
Sam: make 'em count
Sam: :p
Me: *tackles in a very sexual manner* ;-)
Me: sorry, couldn't resist
Sam: XD
Sam: ahhhh I love you XD

Me: btw, when you wake up, you should add something about a separate doctor's office for the psychiatric stuff
Me: you know, comfy couch and stuff
Sam: you can do it :p
Me: *is lazy*
Sam: *is lazier*
Sam: we'll have a laze-off
Sam: whoever adds it first loses

Me: remind me never to go to Tennessee
Sam: XD
Sam: I will
Sam: some day you'll be like "where should I go??"
Sam: and I'll be like: NOT TENNESSEE!
Me: and i'll be like "I <3 you"

Me: ^_^ i <3 Pandora
Me: can I marry her?
Sam: okies
Me: YAY!
Sam: she says she loves you too
Sam: but will be a *****
Sam: because that is the Pandora way
Me: that's ok. i can be a ***** too.
Sam: schweet
Sam: match made in heaven
Me: ^_^
Me: *added Pandora to her list of wives*
Sam: XD
Sam: Pandora: I'm on a LIST!? The sex had BETTER be good, woman
Me: oh, trust me, it is ;-)

Me: "Republicrats. I like it."

Me: and "Comin' Out For Christmas" is probably my favorite xmas song ever ^_^
Me: so much more fun than reindeer running over old ladies

Me: it was funny; when we were sitting in the admissions office at Drexel, one of the secretaries looked at me and said "So, you definitely want to go to college in a city."
Me: and i was like, "......how'd you know that?"
Me: but she never answered me

Me: i <3 TBM....
Me: *is too lazy to love them, so less-than-threes them instead*

Me: hey, i haven't talked to anny lately. how is she?
Rita: Good, on her 80000th boyfriend this month.

Me: i love this song ^_^
Rita: was my first AFI song. not what I tell people though
Me: and he's such a pretty girl, too XD
Rita: cuz Im an elitist

Scotch: Hello! I'm a stalker! How are you?
Me: Hahaha. YAY! I have a stalker!
Scotch: Isn't it a wonderful feeling? *takes picture*
Me: Oh, very! Am I beautiful? *poses*
Scotch: Indescribably. though I must admit I've never had such a willing prey before!
Me: I've had practice. ;-)
Scotch: How disapointing...
Me: Aww, don't worry, you're my favorite stalker!
Scotch: Woot! Victory is mine!

Me: Planning ^_^
Scotch: Planning!
Me: right.
Me: Planning!
Me: (wow, we could be at this for hours)
Scotch: Pla-- yeah, hours!

Me: you know, i looked up "snerk" on dictionary.com once
Me: it's actually norwegian for "skin"
Scotch: really? never would have guessed
Me: me neither
Me: it's amazing what a dictionary can tell you

Scotch: i'm afraid to admit to the fact i don't know much about music... mainly because i am a broadway junkie? but i swear, talking to you makes me want to know about it
Me: hehehe
Me: i seem to have that effect on people ^_^;

Me: when i say Davey has a sexy voice, i mean it. *fangirls all over the place*
Scotch: *fans the fangirl* Eaaaaasy
Me: nuuuuuuuuuit'ssuchasexyvoice!

Me: Aww, damn, that would have been a great shot if Seth's ass hadn't gotten in the way....

Me: ....wow. that's depressing. my own little brother doesn't know when my birthday is.

Me: heh. i love how one of the synonyms for "scrutinize" is "check out" ^_^;

Scotch: Oh! Smart kid! ^___^
kilIingxtime: i should hope so; if i wasn't smart, I'd still be wasting my time with the textbook

Me: So, Matt. It's March tomorrow. The magazine still isn't here. I bet they held it at customs because it had "Bullet For My Valentine" written on the cover and they decided it was a violent pornography magazine.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand a ton of Eli quotes. Because that boy never ceases to make me smile.

Eli: And what did you do this weekend?
Me: .........listened to music ^_^
Me: when i should have been doing my homework
Me: *crosses fingers for no school tomorrow*
Eli: Heheh.
Eli: I'm doing it too.
Eli: I'm also trying to create a weather control device, though.
Me: lol
Eli: Not as easy as you would think!
Me: never said it was easy
Eli: Oh, I didn't know you said much about weather control devies.

( v Me explaining battle RPGs to him...)

Eli: Do people ever fight?
Me: hm? like a battle RPG? yeah, often. but my main RPG isn't a battle RPG. it's more focused on character development than a battle of good vs evil or something
Eli: How does it work?
Eli: is a mediator needed?
Me: for the battle RPGs? uh.... sometimes
Me: not usually
Eli: I'm baffled.
Me: it's generally like....
Good Guy: *is fatally wounded* Oh great Good Leader! I need help!
Good Leader: I'm here! *heals* *vanishes*
Good Guy: I LIVE! *rejoins the fight*

Eli: Do you have any writings?
Me: me? yes. all my RPGs XD 4 and a half years of roleplaying gives one many writings
Eli: Hehehe!
Me: and a slashfic i'm working on
Eli: Nice.
Eli: When you finish, may I read it?
Me: ...you read slash? @_@
Eli: I have.

Eli: I'm mostly hooked on the line "Her moist orbs heaved... moistly..."

Eli: Do you ever use olde timin' phrases like "slacks" or "pantaloons" ?
Eli: Keen, swell, spiffy?
Me: spiffy sometimes
Me: hehe. you entertain me ^_^

Eli: I think a smidgen is kind of like a small midget hen, because if you combine those words it sort of sounds like what a smidgen would be.

Eli: Was that a "I can't believe you said that!" aww, or a "that's adorable" aww?

Eli: Kill Hannah sounds very familiar.
Eli: Enter the Dagon?
Me: uh..... i don't think so
Me: they're a rock/electronica band
Eli: So is the one I'm thinking of.
Me: lol
Eli: They're Kill someone-else.
Me: i don't know *goes to look it up*
Eli: Heheh.
Me: Killing Miranda
Eli: What's with killing girls?

Eli: Yeaaaaa, Thor.
Eli: *So get some athpirin!*
Me: *cymbol crash*
Eli: Oh dear, I've broken the sky!

Me: were the parents hippies?
Eli: No, catholics.

Eli: I like watermelon.
Eli: But not when I'm threatened with it.
Me: was that supposed to be a metaphor of some sort, or just a random comment?
Eli: I was just threatened with a watermelon.
Eli: That's what is was.

Me: hello there. this is your conscience speaking.
Eli: ****
Eli: ****
Eli: Okay, I didn't mean to cut schook, okay?
Eli: Honest!
Eli: I mean, sure, I was real sleepy, and that was it.
Eli: I don't know WHY I woke up there.
Eli: ****, don't tell my parents?
Eli: oh, they already know.
Eli: Vior will KILL me!
Me: Psh. No need to make excuses to me; I'm the dark side of your conscience. You know, the little devil on your shoulder? Yeah. The angel decided to take a vacation.
Eli: I thought that was called something else?
Me: Well, until someone tells me a better word for it, I'm the dark side of your conscience. :-P
Eli: Hahah!
Eli: Arrogance?
Eli: Indifference?
Me: *shrug*
Eli: Meh.
Me: I don't know. Why don't you just name me and we'll shake on it?

Eli: Ah, my conscience.
Eli: So we meet again.
Me: Of course. You didn't think you'd escape that easily, did you?
Eli: Well.
Eli: That's what drugs are for.
Eli: You're always telling me to jump off of building, and burn things.
Me: True....
Me: But come on. Burning things is so much fun!
Eli: True....
Eli: But, then the people often run around and get me on fire too.

Like I said. That kid totally rocks my fencing socks.

The Khanum
03-03-2007, 05:10 AM
Okay. This is the quickest quote post in the history of quick quote posts, but I dun care. So this evening I went to go see my friend Matt in a play. Matt is the only openly gay guy that I know, and I love him more than I can say. And all these quotes have to do with him. (...All two of them.)

Matt (in the play): *Punches some guy*
KT's friend Rob: *Whispering* That gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "gay bashing".

Rob: Hey, what would we call Matt if he was in a coma?
KT: What?
Rob: A tomato, because he's a fruit who's also a vegetable.

Forgotten Angel
03-05-2007, 11:41 PM
So I phrased these as jokes when I told them to Zelda, but they were real. This is what happens when people have bad English days. (I'm going to keep them phrased as jokes because they're even funnier that way. ^_^)

A little boy is sitting on a chair playing on his handheld video game console. His grandmother is trying to see what he's doing. She turns to the boy's grandfather and asks him, "Is that one of those playboy things?"

and

A little girl is at dinner with her family. Her cousin orders a specific type of wine, and the little girl asks what the word she used was for. So her cousin tells her, "It's a celibatory wine."

Eli: "Fooie."

Yeah. For some reason, that amuses me.

Me: "I love Mat. I need to fight Syio for him now."

^ Me to Mike after the concert on Saturday.

Me: BUT I got a Mat!hug. ^_^ he was slightly drunk when i hugged him/he hugged me, but awwwwwwwwwwwwilovehim
Shelby: how do you know he was drunk?
Me: because he had a bottle of vodka in his hand and it was 90% gone?

Mike: but theres one question I dont get
Me: hm?
Mike: why was mat in the girls bathroom?

^ That was referring to an interview that we found from the show we were at on Saturday. :D

Andy: hey Ri :-)
Me: gaaaaaahctnprojectduetomorrowbut
ZOMGSKILLHANNAHANDPAPAROACHWEREAMAZINGANDI'LLTELLY OUALLABOUT
ITWHENEVERIEVENTUALLYFINDADAYWITH
NOMAJORPROJECTSTOWORKON! *drops dead and ghost continues working on her project for her*

Rayna: how's homework?
Me: not doing it atm. getting ready to go to a concert with mike
Rayna: nice!
Rayna: Another one?
Rayna: Already?
Rayna: o.o
Me: yeah
Me: this one was planned a while ago
Me: the last one was just, "hey, ri, I want to go to a concert."
Me: "okay, i know one. it's $10."
Me: "KICKASS!":
Rayna: ^^

Me: they're GOTHS
Me: not emo
Rayna: Yes he is
Rayna: he had the eye-makeup-marking
Me: ?
Me: goths wear eye makeup...
Rayna: -.-
Rayna: Yes
Rayna: but Emos wear that STYLE of makeup
Rayna: really granddaughter
Rayna: I have to teach you about the different sects
Rayna: I think I know more about the different types of goths than you do
Me: you thought Linkin Park was emo too.

Me: the concert last night = AMAZING
Rayna: ^________________________^
Me: and now I have to fight Syio for Mat Devine.
Rayna: XD nice!
Mee: because I talked to him twice. and got a hug. a drunken hug! she may have gotten a hug too, but i bet hers wasn't from slightlydrunk!Mat. who still had the almost-empty bottle of vodka in his hand XD

Me+Mike: *standing nearby waiting for my dad to call and let us know he was waiting outside*
Two Women: *flirting with Mat for several minutes*
Mat: *starting to look slightly annoyed*
Women: *don't notice and keep talking*
Woman1: *says something*
Mat: "Yeah, sure. Meet me at the stage door in ten minutes."
Women: *start to walk away but stop when they see me and Mike*
Woman2: "Isn't he [Mat] the nicest guy? I mean, he's so great, you know? I love him. I really do."
Me: *wants them to go away already* "Yeah, he is. Really great!"
Women: *walk away, still chattering*
Me: *to Mat* "Do people always flirt with you like that?"
Mat: "Yeah, people do that a lot. I really..." *pause, leans in and whispers in my ear* "Well, if you listen to my lyrics, you know that's not me; I'm not into that. People flirt with me, and I'm okay with it, but I'm out here to meet the fans. You guys are the reason I do this."
Me: "That made me feel incredibly special."
Mat: *hugs me*
Me: *hugs back*
[Later, in the car on the way home...]
Me: "OHMYGODSILOVEHIM!"

Mat: "You know, one of the best feelings for a band is when they see 400 fans lined up outside for hours before the show who all want to see them. So those of you who were lined up outside in the cold today for us, this song is for you, because we love you to death!"
Band: *starts playing said song ("Love You to Death")*

So, I've had a Kill Hannah song deciated to me. I can die happy now. :D

Me: dude. Kill Hannah. AMAZING times infiniti squared!
Me: ...plus 1 ^_^

Mike: "If Mat and Tom got married, that'd be perfect!"


And the whole point of this story is: Kill Hannah is amazing. In fact, Kill Hannah now officially shares ownership of my soul with Aiden.



Rita: I listened to Blutengel and DSI
Rita: and my kitty is preggy ^_^
Me: if i didn't know those two topics were completely unrelated, I'd probably think you just said that listening to Blutengel and DSI made your kitty get pregnant XD

(From the Neurosonic EPK)
Jason: "My name is Jason Leopold Butterscotch Darr."

And I'm sure there are a few quotes scattered in my school notebooks, but I'm too lazy to go get them right now. ^_^;

ETA

Me: heh. the singer looks so much better now than he did back then XD
Me: back then he was like, "heeeeeeeeey, lookie me, I have a spiky blond mohawk!" and now he's like, "lookie me, i have fashion sense!"

^ about the singer for Three Days Grace

Danyel: Jordan's gonna go all wife on Mat's kitchen.

Love the Lie
03-17-2007, 07:15 PM
And this one is for Sam --
Evan: Question. Has anything of historic significance ever happened in Canada?

All of my male friends to me: God, you are such a guy!

KT's dad: *Is planning our vacation in Disney World and making reservations at various restaurants in Epcot* They don't have any place to eat in Canada.
Me: ...What kind of food would they serve at a Canadian restaurant?
KT's mom: True. Canada's not known for its food. It's known for...
KT's dad: ...
KT's mom: ...
Me: ...Hockey?

*giggles madly* Poutines!! A thing you silly Americans don't have! *cheers as she sits on her chesterfield*

Anywhom, some amusing quotes from last night at work. Aaron is Brittney's boyfriend.

Me: Hey, Joe... want to get wet again?
Brittney: WHAT? *coughsputter*
Joe: Oh yeah, didn't you know Britt? *puts arm around me*
Me: I'm the New Orleans Whore. ^___^

Brittney: Did you miss me?
Me: You know I did, but I missed Aaron more!
Brittney: Aaron! Come for your kiss!
Aaron: Wait, what?

Brittney: I'm back!
Me: I MISSED YOU SNUGGLE BUNNY!!!
Aaron: Are you two ever going to quite that?
Me: You're just jealous, I've gotten further with Brittney than you have.
Brittney: Yes, we've slept together.
Me: ...And we've got pictures, want to see?
Richard: You two have no idea how wrong that sounds.
Aaoron: I'm sure they do.

Aaron: Rachel, your more of a man than I am.
Me: Call me that name again and I'll make you even more of a woman.
Aaron: And you don't have to worry about your manhood being taken away...
Me: Yup. ^___^

Me: Unfortunately, we don't have any forks left.
Richard: What? You don't even want to know what I just heard!
Me: NOT AGAIN! *falls over laughing*
Richard: *repeating what he thought he heard* Unfortunately we don't have any fvcks left.
Me: First "I don't want to be flashed by priests tonight" and now this... I don't even want to know what you're thinking!

And this morning...

Brittney: That was so weird last night having you ask my brother if he wanted to get wet.
Jackie: Joe doesn't know anything about that sort of stuff.
Brittney: He's as gender-confused as my kitty!

The Khanum
03-17-2007, 08:30 PM
Oh yeaaaaaaah...poutines. Those weird french fry...things...

Anyways. I KNEW I was going to forget all my good quotes before TPO went back online. >.< I lose. Like always. Sigh. Anyways, so my friends took my aforementioned friend Matt (see my previous post) to Hooters for his birthday. Because it was ironic. And somehow the topic of his being gay comes up in conversation with one of the Hooters girls.

Hooters Girl: Wait, so you're gay? How old are you?
Matt: Sixteen.
Hooters Girl: Isn't that a little young to decide you're gay? I mean, what did you do? Flip a coin?
Meaghan: That gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'heads or tails'.

Mrs. Gensimore: *In English class* Okay. So after this unit, we'll start learning about the L-word.
Sarah: Love?
Jeremy: Life?
KT: Lesbians!
The class: ...
Mrs. Gensimore: ...No, that would be literature.

KT and April: *Start singing Elephant Love Medley in the car*
Brian: *Turns the radio up*
KT and April: *Sing louder*
KT and April: AND IIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUU, WILL ALWAYS LOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUU...
KT: ...Wait, what comes after that?
April: I don't remember.
Caroline: Oh, thank god.

Christine's Shadow
03-24-2007, 12:32 PM
oh my word. you know you have to much time when you go poking through dead threads-- namely KT's old banner threads. XD

I found this and it made me laugh.

KT: Duck tape can fix anything; if you can't duck it, then...chuck it. Yeah...chuck it. >_<

XD hahah. I just thought I should share that. it made me giggle excesively at 6:30 in the morning.

The Khanum
04-06-2007, 05:35 AM
(WHY am I so bad at remembering quotes?? WHY?! *Bangs head against the door* ...Oh well. I have three and a half quotes. That's all. Don't ask for more.)

Hilary & KT: *Are sitting at lunch after seeing 300.
KT: So what're you eating?
Hilary: *In a very 300-esque voice* Meatballs and PAAAAAASTAAAAAAAAAA!

(Later)

Hilary & KT: *Are in AP Euro class*
Mrs. Eckert: Blah-blah-blah, and then they signed the Magna Carta.
Hilary & KT: O.O ... MAGNA CARTAAAAAAAA!

(...The above only makes sense if you've seen Gerard Butler do his infamous "SPAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAAAA!" thing.)

KT's friend: *Has amazing boobs, and today is wearing an amazingly boobtastic dress*
Friend: Hey, KT.
KT: *Staring at boobs* ...I'm fine, how're you?
Friend: ...I...didn't ask you how you were. But it's good to know you're fine.
KT: ...Huh-wha?

Leah: *Has that gum-type-thing called Bubble Tape*
KT: *Reading label* Six feet of fun. (...) *Snort*
Collective lunch table: Oh good lord. *Head/desk*

MystMoonstruck
04-06-2007, 05:53 AM
We have a new pet, a feisty little ginger-and-white fellow with a ginger mustache and goatee. Mom calls him Rhett (for Rhett Butler), and I added Captain Sparrow because--GOSH!--Rhett doesn't have a goatee! He's tangled with every cat we have. We finally realized no one is getting hurt, so we've started to ignore them.

Tonight, after hearing a particularly vocal catfight followed by silence, Mom asked me, "Do you want to clean up the dead bodies, or should we just leave them till morning?"

OK. So, maybe only catphans would find this funny--sort of--maybe.

scotch
04-06-2007, 05:47 PM
--Today morning in class--

Jack: I don't want to be here! It's a holiday!
Professor: Aren't you Jewish?
Jack: Yes... your point being?
Professor: This is a Catholic holiday.
Jack: My girlfriend's Catholic! It should SO apply!
Professor: *shocked look*
Erika: By girlfriend... do you mean me?
Jack: Of course!
Erika: ... oh
Professor: *even more shocked look*

--At the mall--

Jack: Let's hold hands!
Erika: ... no way
Jack: It'll be fun!
Erika: People will think we're going out!
Jack: We aren't?
Erika: "We had sex, once."
Jack: "And we kissed in an elevator."
Erika: *rolls eyes and walks away*

--Later that day--

Jack: *still trying to convince Erika* C'mon~
Erika: No.
Jack: It'll be fun!
Erika: I told you people will think we're going out!
Jack: We aren't?
Erika: We had sex in an elevator.
Jack: *smirk*
Erika: I totally messed that one up, didn't I?
Jack: *nods enthusiastically*

Minoru Inoue
04-06-2007, 08:56 PM
Sheena: *talking to a friend in the hallway* Yeah, I'm staying here with all the Jews.
Me: *outside of hallway, laughing*
Sheena: *nervous* Who hear me?!
Me: *walks into hallway* The Jew.

(I worked over lines from 'The Glass Menagerie' with my roommate for her scene)
Ellen: *saying her line* It was Blue Roses.
*My line says, "Blue Roses. Gosh, Blue Roses."*
Me: S***! Blue Roses! F***in' hell!
Ellen: *cracks up*

Ellen: I can't think of my line.
Me: Make it up.

Ellen: It was Blue Roses.
Me: Good golly Miss Molly.

Ellen: What if my partner forgets his line?
Me: Even though he is perhaps the most handsome man I have ever seen, the only person I care about getting through this is you.

Ellen: Wish me luck!
Me: Break a leg! Break someone else's legs! Break everyone's legs.

Forgotten Angel
04-07-2007, 07:37 PM
I'm posting a ton now, because I need a pick-me-up, and what better way than going through all my IMs as of late and amusing myself. This will likely take me hours, so I'm going to time it.

Start time~11:44 AM

Me: Hello, this is your conscience again
Eli: Fine, I promise that I'll **** her next time.

Me: Oy. You'll probably have to deal with me having a panic attack halfway up the wall XD
Eli: Heeeh.
Eli: I've worked her four years, nothing I haven't seen before!
Me: We had a rock wall in phys ed in 7th grade. my gym teachers couldn't get me up that thing XD
Me: Oh, have you named her?
Eli: Oh, you're light.
Eli: We'll throw you.
Eli: Name who?
Me: Well, you gave the wall a gender.
Eli: Lydia.
Eli: That is the brown one, the grey one is Chandelier.
Me: .....now I want to watch Beetlejuice...
Eli: When DON'T you want to watch Beetlejuice?
Me: True
Me: heh. "My whole is a darkroom. One. Big. Dark. Room."
Eli: That sounds like a pick up line a girl would use on a guy.
Eli: But, not a very good one.
Me: Hahahah
Me: I never even thought of it that way.
Eli: I didn't mean to....
Me: *tsks* Get your mind out of the gutter, young man!
Eli: It fell on me, I promise!
Me: Though I'm one to talk... my Shakespeare class is probably the most perverted English class anyone will ever take.
Eli: Well.
Eli: Billy was a big horn dog.
Eli: "I'll break through YOUR yonder window!"
Me: yes, well, we believe in unicorns and phoenixes. "Unicorns are the horniest horses we've ever seen, and phoenixes? Geez, stupid flaming birds. .....whoa."
Eli: Heh.
Me: and we had an entire class on crossdressers XD
Eli: Shoulda brought me in for show and tell.
Me: Hahaha. So, you're a crossdresser?
Eli: Aye, and I TOTALLY need to come out to my mum about that.

Me: I have a somewhat random question for you.
Eli: I have a well thought out answer in return.

Me: Oh, lookie. Mail from colleges telling me to look at their programs. Fun.
Eli: "Give us money, it's good for you!"

Me: .....oh yes. Because Pittsburgh is just so close to New York City. -_-
Me: This college needs to look at their map of the US again.
Eli: Oi.
Me: Listen to this. XD "...within easy driving distance from Chicago, Cincinnati, Baltimore, and New York City."
Eli: What?!
Me: I know. XD
Me: I was like, ".....yeah. If you have the time and money to drive that far on any given day."

Eli: They're just doing it because of the colour of your skin.
Me: I can't help it if I'm the same color as paper!
Eli: Shadow, I would have an easier time drawing on you than paper.
Me: Wow. I think you're the first person to actually put it that way.

(v Eli and one of his other friends. He showed me this conversation.)

Risi: How is your box?
Eli: Chewy, and wet.
Risi: Oh.
Risi: Not delicious?
Eli: It tastes like paper.
Eli: I've never minded that taste.
Risi: Why, precisely, are you chewing on a box?
Eli: It was in front of my computer screen when I got here.
Eli: I am making an example of it.

Me: "Relatively"... that's another one of those words I wonder about often.
Me: Is it relative to something? Or is it more like "generally"? And why do I then call my cousins my relatives? What does all of this relate to, anyway?

Eli: I love massages!
Me: ...I've never had one.
Eli: Indeedidly?
Eli: That sounds unfortunate.
Eli: *has his fist shaking*
Eli: You shall be avenged.

Eli: I am often in the mood for the gore.
Eli: Makes me very thirsty.
Eli: Ideal for some situations.
Me: Hahaha.
Me: Oh? And what situations would those be?
Eli: A personal bit, use your imagination.
Me: Oh, believe me, I am.
Eli: I'll tell you when I get back, to the other box.
Eli: I trust I haven't missed much?
Me: No, not much at all, I'm afraid.
Me: The world tends to stop turning when you disappear.
Eli: Good, I hate having to go by stories.
Eli: I am usually on the world, so I suppose that works out okay.
Me: So, you were going to tell me what those situations are?
Eli: Ahhh.
Eli: Often just an adolescent girl with an overactive libido getting very eager at the idea of my... biting tendency at horror flicks.
Me: *giggles*
Me: Remind me never to let you go to a horror flick with Megan around.
Eli: Wise choices!
Me: I'm reminded of an embarassing mother. "Make good choices!"

Me: Heh. You should join us in one of our completely off-topic chat rooms one day. They're always completely random, and (especially) if KT or James is in it, it becomes entirely too perverted.
Eli: If I have the time, I'm sure I'll be delighted.
Me: Awesome.
Eli: And one can hardly be too perverted.
Me: True, true. Very true.
Me: I'll rephrase it: Too perverted by society's standards.
Eli: Sucks to society.
Me: Also true!
Eli: If I can't make out with two girls and their sisters in the span of half an hour, I'm not in!
Me: Aww, KT doesn't have any sisters as far as I know. And my sister's too young for you!
Me: (Sorry, I have to be the overprotective older sister.)
Eli: The youngest cherries always taste the sweetest....
Me: XD
Eli: (I understand, don't worry!)
Me: I promise, when my sister hits 16 in four years, you are more than welcome to make out with her. Because only then will it be legal.
Eli: I'll pretend to be tempted.
Me: I know, legality is boring, isn't it?
Eli: Absolutely.

Eli: Aye, a bit nippy ain't it?
Me: Just a smidgen, love.
Eli: A lick.
Me: A tad, even!
Eli: Perhaps a pinch?
Eli: No, not a pinch.

Eli: A safety pin inside of my pants decided safety is over-rated, and is currently giving me a vasectomy.
Eli: Pardon me?
Me: Have fun with that.
Eli: The operation was succesful, but the patient needs rest.

Me: Haha. A friend of mine gave me a bootleg of Photoshop. The only reason I won't pay for Photoshop myself is because it's so ****ing expensive.
Eli: Aye, like Flash.
Eli: I can respect their work, though.
Me: Yeah
Eli: If I get the money I'm making sure to purchase them.
Me: If I could afford it, I'd definitely purchase it legally.
Me: But... I can't.
Eli: Precisely.
Me: So thank gods for rich friends who are willing to make bootlegs, I say. ^_^
Eli: Whoo!
Eli: I suppose that is donating to the less fortunate, hmmm?
Me: Indeed!
Me: It's an act of charity!

Eli: Smurfs?
Me: I used to love that show.
Eli: Used to?
Me: I haven't seen it in forever, so I don't know anymore.
Eli: They say awesome things.
Eli: Like "What're you waiting for? Lets get our smurf on!"
Me: Hahaha.
Me: Where do you ever see it on TV anymore?
Eli: Boomerang, of course.
Eli: They had a marathon today.
Me: ah, nice
Me: I remember Boomerang! It's still on?
Eli: The marathon?
Eli: I don't think so....
Me: I mean Boomerang in general
Me: It's still aired on TV these days?
Eli: I watched it today.
Eli: So, I hope so.
Eli: If not I should start sleeping more.

Me: Yeah. I'm getting sick of getting sick.
Me: .....oy. That looks like I was trying to make a bad joke.
Eli: Heheh.
Eli: Just a widdle bit.

Eli: Who -doesn't- think about sex in a church?
Me: .....I've never been to church. Except when I was in Europe and visiting a ton of churches with images of bleeding Jesus on the cross was part of the tour. ^_^;

Me: i think i have now experienced the most awkward-feeling situation of my life thus far
Eli: I'm excited, details?
Me: you know that sex scene i was writing last night?
Eli: Aye.
Me: i reread it today and was like, "...ew." so i restarted it. just as i was about to start writing the good stuff, a friend calls me from the Taste of Chaos show in Asbury Park tonight. and she puts me on the phone with the singer of one of the bands, Aiden (happens to be one of my favorite bands, so that in and of itself wasn't the issue). but it feels really weird talking on the phone with someone involved in the sex scene one is presently writing.
Eli: Gee whiz.
Me: I was trying not to laugh the whole time. XD
Eli: That's awesome!
Me: Yeah, it was awesome! But so awkward at the same time. ^_^;

Me: At Ozzfest, at least there will be a good amount of people who will at least appreciate them for what they do. At Bamboozle, however, people will be staring at them trying to figure out what the **** is up with the costumes and won't be paying attention to the music. -_-; There will be me, Abby, and maybe a maximum of 30 other people who know them who will be rocking out, singing along, whathaveyou. The passersby will be giving us all the strangest looks and wondering who the freaks are,
Me: and then will be shocked when they later see us at Muse's set as well. XD

Me: I'm gonna let this playlist finish, then go to bed. (I almost typed "Then go to hell." ^_^; That's what listening to a song called "See You In Hell..." does to me, I guess.)

Me: When are you coming home?
Eli: I am not sure anymore...
Eli: My parents arent telling me.
Me: Well don't stay there! New Jersey is boring enough. Come back here and make it interesting again.
Eli: All in due time.
Me: *pouts*
Me: Make me wait, why don't you.

Me: "So are you still planning on coming out to your mother soon?"
Eli: "Yeah. I'm doing it on Thursday. I'm going to give it to her all in one blow."
Me: "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
Eli: "I'm hoping the shock of one thing will cancel out the shock of the other so the only thing she'll do is light up a cigarette."

Rachey: I wanna watch Eden run over Tom Cruise again [/random]

Rachey: ahhh
Rachey: lightning!
Rachey: it is stormying outside
Me: aww
Me: that damned operation x

Me: hehe. i'm thinking i actually might have a female character for once, but i'm not sure....
DP!Sam: O_O
Me: hahaha
Me: i love your reaction XD
DP!Sam: *falls over* Did you just say what I think you said?!
Me: Yes, I did.
Me: If you think I said what I indeed did say.
Me: *feels like Jack Sparrow*

Me: ...is clinging the new glomp?
Megan: *glomps, then clings*
Megan: nah
Megan: they both still work

Me: so tomorrow. i'm not allowed to tell my parents where the venue is. XD because i kinda had to lie to get them to say yes.....
Me: some of it was a lie, and some of it was not the whole truth
Megan: heehe
Megan: i love white lies
Me: the lie: "it's only a few blocks away from the train station". the truth: it's over 5 miles away and we're calling a taxi XD
Megan: hahaha
Me: the half-truth: "it's in hamilton."
the truth: it's in hamilton, which, by the way, is right next to trenton.
Megan: o fun
Me: heh
Me: i'm willing to risk my life for lacuna coil, apparently
Me: *is that much of a fangirl*

Me: (and i actually touched him at one point)
Megan: *clings*
Megan: im so never letting go
Me: hahaha
Me: you know i don't mind, so whatever

Me: ok, you're gonna have to look at this one sideways XD
Megan: turns head*
Megan: sexyness sidways : D

Me: *giggles* a couple of the videos are sideways coz i forgot that the camera doesn't automatically upright itself when put on the computer
Me: so it kinda looks like they're playing on the wall XD
Megan: hahahaha
Megan: smexyness sideways!

Me: Seth: vocalist for The Higher. he gives the best hug you will ever get from a straight guy.
Megan: hahahahahahhahahahahahaha i adore your biography

Me: Tom: guitarist for The Higher. Nickname: the Panda. Enjoys parties and girls girls girls. Has a sense of humor and a good memory for faces. Is not the best artist, but he tries. (he drew an animal on my ticket next to his name when he signed it. mike is jealous coz he didn't get an animal)
Megan: heehee poor melinda

Megan: nightyyy night :D
Me: 'night
Megan: if the rock stars bite, send them to my place
Me: of course ^_^

Me: *giggles* can you imagine all the little emo kiddies listening to Lordi? XD
Rita: It'd spawn the worst trend
Me: they'll be like, "NO! It's funny! It's making me SMILE!"
Rita: XDDDDDD

Me: .............i hate people on absolutepunk.net for their stupidity and immaturity yet appreciate them for the cruel entertainment it brings me at the same time
Rita: Example?
Me: i'm reading the discussion about the article I read that in.
Me: lots of people are like "when did linkin park go scene?" and i'm like, "..........ha. ****ing. ha."
Rita: Linkin Park is hiphopraprockmetalish. they
Rita: dont look or sound scene
Me: yeah, but these people seem to think that "zomgs they're touring with scene bands so they must be going scene too!" when in fact the only bands on that list that would qualify as "scene" are Saosin and Taking Back Sunday. My Chem is just a halfway decent punk rock band with catchy songs, but they're not scene. scene kids just happen to like them. *shrug* and HIM, Placebo, and MSI aren't scene either.
Me: oh, but THIS made me laugh the most so far
Me: "HIM is still a band? o.0"
Rita: hahaha
Rita: Scene kids like MSI
Me: yeah. but that doesn't mean the band is scene.
Me: scene kids like HIM too. and hey, some scene kids even like Linkin Park. *feins shock*
Rita: Yeah, exactly
Me: YAY. a SMART person! *points at the first intelligent comment she's seen so far*
Me: " Wow, Some of you guys have some seriously ****ing closed up minds...

The ENTIRE POINT of projekt revolution is to have a DIVERSE mix of different bands. Unfortunately some of you scenster's just can't get over it. I've been a linkin park fan since day one, they put on a great live show. I'm not a huge fan of HIM, but I'm not going to **** on a tour just cause there's a band I don't like. But oh well, to each his own. "
Rita: I seriously strongly dislike HIM
Rita: they make me want to blow up finland or wherever
Me: lmao. probably wouldn't work if you tried.
Rita: I know right XDDD
Me: the land might be gone, but the people would still be there drunk off their asses and they'd be like, "......****. where'd my house go? i was at the pub all night and all I see now is a giant hole in the ground.... oh well. back to the pub it is."
Rita: XDDDDDDDDDD
Me: i love the country, but that doesn't mean i can't make fun of it

Me: *huggles music*
Me: *and scotch but won't let go of scotch*
Me: thou shalt not leaveth me!

From the website of a Presidential Candidate in an independent party: "Jonathon feels Chavez insulted Lucifer by saying Bush was the Devil."

Mike: >.< I cannot lie to my mother
Mike: and she's gonna be all "TELL ME OR I WILL KILL YOU" in a loving way

Me: i'm like, "what's sleep?"
Me: and she's like "zzzzZZZZzzzz"
Mike: lol
Mike: That wiull be the title of my paper comparing you to megan
Mike: if i ever write that ;P

Mike: OMG speaking of POPES
Mike: a kid came to school dressed as the pope today
Mike: and apperently he's a Satanist so that was the point

Mike: and one of the lunch patrol secreatry ladies was like
Mike: ::what are you doing!"
Mike: and hes aid something like "goign to hell"
Mike: and she was like "oh my god.... sin overload:: dies::"

Me: dude. i'm totally gonna look into queercore now ^___^

Mike: okay, so according to wiki
Mike: Punk Rock as a whole broke in the ninties
Mike: meaning it severed and died as a genre
Mike: but it spanwed forth a thousand subgenres
Mike: like goth rock, grunge, indie rock, pop-punk
Mike: and today, when bands call them selves punk, the refer back to punk rock
Mike: so I guess.. Punk Rock is like The Constituion :we refer back to it every now and then, but quite really, we just screw it and do what ever we want
Me: yeah, pretty much. XD

Mike: oh well, basically, in my workshop, there was this really cool and obvioulsy 'emo' kid (his hair coverd his right eye, black shirt, white sleeves, blue pants, quiet)
Mike: and at one pont when everyone was writing, he threw down his paper and said he wasn't writing anything
Me: baby emos are so cute ^_^
Mike: so I was like "write something" and he was all "NO" so I begged and wasl ike RAWR so he picke dup the paper and wroet "pasta" and was all hahahahah I WIN
Me: lol
Mike: so i stole his pen and wrote "oh so delicious pasta?"
Mike: and he picked it up and got all quiet and started drawing
Mike: and he drew really cool pasta

Kat: that's why i like 70s 80s rock i think
Me: lol
Kat: because it's all about having fun and sex and going to parties
Me: hahaha
Kat: and now all the rock is like IHATEMYPARENTS/LIFE/GIRLFRIEND/GOVERNMENT EVERYONEMUSTDIE
Me: heh, well, that's the world we live in.
Me: people WERE happier back then
Kat: they were just more drugged up
Me: heh
Kat: stuff was still happening world wide then
Me: true
Me: granted, you don't listen to Ozzy, so you can't talk about 80s music. *elitist*

End Time~2:35 PM

And I know for a fact that I left a lot of stuff out.

Minoru Inoue
04-09-2007, 10:53 PM
Ellen: Hey Rayna, I think your coat is having an affair with my towel. Every single time I come into the room, no matter what chair the towel is on, the coat is on top of it!
*later on that night*
Ellen: *goes to get towel, which is buried under my coat again* *gives me a look, before reaching under and pulling the towel out* *puts towel on top of my coat* There. Now my towels seme.

Me: *reading my philosophy book* These philosophic *******s are so long winded I would NEVER have lunch with them. Even if they paid. Even if they took me to the most expensivewell maybe.
Ellen; *laughing*
Me: If I chew loud enough, I wont have to hear them.

Alan: 9 out of 10 voices in my head say Im not crazy.

xTanubisTx: i beat Jesus at math

Me: *looking up courses online*
Ellen: *typing quietly*
Me: Oh, THATS what distance learning means! GUH!


(Oh, and Shadow? I am stealing Eli away from you now. I laughed so hard at the "vasectomy" line that I almost fell out of my chair)

Erik
04-10-2007, 12:58 AM
Quotes From MIKE!

[00:00] Mike: texas was its own country for like 3 years
[00:01] Mike: you want a history lesson? :P
[00:01] SuperxSamness: yes please. I love History ^_^
[00:01] Mike: okay
[00:01] Mike: so basically, this is when the United states only has its east coast and the middle (yey loussiana purchase), and mexico still has texas and california, in the 1800's, pre civil war, slavery's still on
[00:02] SuperxSamness: mhmm
[00:02] Mike: Mexico is like : Okay, we have no peple living here.... if American come live in texas, promise to stop being americans, leran spanish, and become catholic, we'll give 'em free land or cheap land
[00:02] Mike: and americans are like "HELL YEAH!" but of course, like americans, they lie
[00:02] SuperxSamness: lol
[00:02] Mike: they stay protestant, speak english, and soon theres like 50 white americans to every emxican
[00:02] Mike: so the US government is like (hey you texans... want guns? mexico is evil)
[00:03] SuperxSamness: XD
[00:03] Mike: and texans are like (hmm......) and the tell Mexico that they want to be able to stay americans and speak english
[00:03] Mike: and Mexico City is like NO!
[00:03] Mike: so Texas is like THEN F*** YOU
[00:03] Mike: so they revolt and texas declares its independce, forming the Republic of Texas
[00:03] Mike: so they fight mexico
[00:03] Mike: and mexico slaughters them at first
[00:03] Mike: but then america's like (HAVE GUNS)
[00:03] Mike: and they get guns
[00:03] SuperxSamness: XD
[00:03] Mike: and texas kicks mexico's butt
[00:04] Mike: so now the Us government is like "so... do we annex (you know what that that means, right?) texas??????"
[00:04] Mike: and everyones like "yes"!
[00:04] Mike: but then the south is like "IT HAS SLAVES" and the nroth goes "HELL NO, NO SLAVES"
[00:04] Mike: so they start fighting
[00:04] Mike: and the US is all mad at itself already bc of slavery
[00:05] Mike: so the president is like "::cough:: lets deal with this later (just like the founding fathers and slavery)"
[00:05] Mike: and he doenst annex texas
[00:05] Mike: so the whole time, texans are like... so... are we americans? NO?.... well cool... lets me TEXAS for ever
[00:05] Mike: but then lateron, America is like.... Okay mine... well maybe not....
[00:05] Mike: and three years past
[00:05] Mike: and then finally, a new president gets in office and he's lik "okay... TEXAS IS IN THE NATION"
[00:05] Mike: and we annex it
[00:06] Mike: but a lot of the texas people are lik e"wait... weren't we like... free of amcerica and our own country?"
[00:06] Mike: and the US is like 'nope.....'
[00:06] Mike: but then mexico is like 'HEY YOU CANT TAKE THAT"
[00:06] Mike: and then they attack us
[00:06] Mike: and we attack them
[00:06] Mike: and you get the Mexican american war
[00:06] Mike: and of course, America wins
[00:06] Mike: we win big
[00:06] Mike: we take their capital and mexico surrendors
[00:06] Mike: and in exchange for peace, we steal the west cost
[00:06] Mike: and then soon after that, the civil war happens
[00:07] Mike: and mexico laughs its ass off
[00:07] Mike: but then Napolean conquers mexico
[00:07] Mike: and we laugh at them :P
[00:07] Mike: and the end
[00:07] SuperxSamness: XD
[00:07] SuperxSamness: you should teach history
[00:07] Mike: yey i'm tired
[00:07] SuperxSamness: to like, kids.

[00:10] Mike: oh thats somethign you'll love about NY
[00:11] Mike: everytime you get lost, you just close your eyes
[00:11] Mike: and when you open them
[00:11] Mike: a starbucks is like.. right there
[00:11] SuperxSamness: XD
[00:11] Mike: and you can swear it wasn't there before

[00:15] SuperxSamness: i turn 17 on independance day
[00:16] SuperxSamness: which is cool because mom's american so we always lit fireworks on my birthday
[00:16] Mike: awww thats cooooool
[00:16] SuperxSamness: i know haha
[00:16] SuperxSamness: all our neighbours/people on the street would come watch the fireworks outside our house on my birthday
[00:16] SuperxSamness: and when i was little i thought they came out because it was my birthday
[00:16] Mike: awww
[00:17] SuperxSamness: but then realized no, they wanted to see the fireworks
[00:17] SuperxSamness: haha
[00:17] Mike: isn't it illegal to use fireworks in your province
[00:17] SuperxSamness: ....maybe...>>
[00:17] SuperxSamness: <<

[00:27] Mike: but really
[00:27] Mike: on behalf of all Americans
[00:27] Mike: you have to forgive us for the next twenty years
[00:27] Mike: bc its going to get a lot worse

[20:23] Mike: we should learn more about the french revolution then they teach us in my class
[20:23] Mike: its so...strange
[20:24] SuperxSamness: i LOVE the french rev.
[20:24] Mike: and awesome
[20:24] SuperxSamness: it's on of my favourite historical events so far
[20:24] SuperxSamness: one*
[20:24] Mike: and its like god was like, let's throw together evey problem the european social, economic, and governmetn systems created, add some headless people, some blood, and a war
[20:24] Mike: and STIR!

[20:39] Mike: lol your pose is like
[20:39] Mike: CHEBANG *****
[20:39] Mike: like you're superwomen

[20:34] Mike: what's wrongith
[20:35] SuperxSamness: my head hurts
[20:35] SuperxSamness: so does my throat
[20:35] SuperxSamness: and my muscles
[20:35] SuperxSamness: and i die when i cough
[20:35] Mike: i thought you said mustache...
[20:35] Mike: and was confuzed
[20:35] SuperxSamness: oh yes
[20:35] SuperxSamness: my lovely moustache

[Later, on a book Mike was describing]

[20:58] SuperxSamness: i'm intrigued.
[20:58] SuperxSamness: *twirls moustache which i apparently own*

[19:53] Mike: >.<;; you better get sick, OR ELSE
[19:53] Mike: eer
[19:53] Mike: i mean
[19:53] Mike: better!

[20:07] Mike: go to bed and drink liquid
[20:07] Mike: s
[20:07] Mike: IN THAT ORDER
[20:07] SuperxSamness: i disagree with your orders!
[20:07] SuperxSamness: if i drink in bed i may drown myself
[20:07] Mike: >.<;;

[15:25] Mike: ::stabs the world::
[15:25] SuperxSamness: o-o
[15:25] SuperxSamness: don't do that
[15:25] Mike: eh >.<
[15:25] SuperxSamness: i'm in the world
[15:25] Mike: ::gently pokes the world::

[19:17] SuperxSamness: and, haha, i'm on spring break :p
[19:17] Mike: HAHA ITS NOT SPRING THERE!

[20:06] SuperxSamness: >>
[20:06] Mike: <<
[20:06] SuperxSamness: you complete my shifty eyes
[20:06] SuperxSamness: i <3 you

20:59] Mike: okay
[20:59] Mike: heres what you do
[20:59] SuperxSamness: lol
[20:59] Mike: you cross tehborder into the united states
[20:59] SuperxSamness: *listens intently*
[20:59] Mike: and hick a train from north to chicago
[20:59] SuperxSamness: because that's so easy
[20:59] Mike: from there
[20:59] SuperxSamness: >_<
[20:59] SuperxSamness: lol
[20:59] Mike: you take a boat down the river to the mississippi
[20:59] Mike: then from Mississippi, you hitch another train east
[20:59] Mike: till you get to virginia
[21:00] Mike: then you walk the other thousand miles
[21:00] Mike: until you reach New jersey
[21:00] Mike: : )
[21:00] SuperxSamness: XDDD
[21:00] SuperxSamness: no thanks
[21:00] Mike: ;uhm
[21:00] Mike: beautiful site seeing : )

[22:51] Mike: SAM
[22:51] *** Auto-response sent to Mike: Good night, world.
[22:51] Mike: SAM
[22:51] Mike: SAM
[22:51] Mike: SAm
[22:51] Mike: WAKE
[22:51] Mike: WAKE
[22:51] Mike: WAKE MY CHILD
[22:51] SuperxSamness: O___O
[22:51] Mike: you dont say goodnight :P????

PhAnToMeSs07
04-10-2007, 01:13 AM
No offense to anyone with big boobs at all. This was just hillarious and I laughed so hard. My prom was this week and one of my best friends boobs are really really really big and her dress only seemed to make them stand out more.

Kristin (big boobs): *giggling excessively and jumping a little* (kinda on the slow side sometimes)

Bryan (my date): Ya know, I bet she gets three seconds of hangtime with those things....and a black eye too!

LOL, I just thought it was hillarious and I hope it makes someone laugh like it did me.

The Khanum
04-24-2007, 04:30 AM
Quotes from tonight, because...I can't remember any others. XD *Loses* All on AIM, because I've been too lazy to travel since my EIGHT HOUR CAR RIDE.

James: I never liked going on opening night, actually... it was always so crowded that I ended up sitting in the very front row.
KT Mae: ew. front row.
KT Mae: Usually that's a good thing.
James: Not when your neck is all stiff and sore afterward. XD
KT Mae: ........ *snots immaturely*
KT Mae: Sorry. I'm done. XD
KT Mae: SNORTS.
KT Mae: Damn.

James: Our conversation isn't nearly perverted enough for my taste...
KT Mae: PENIS!

Shadow: http://www.chadwickmodels.com/watermark/10839 <--- Heh. He's gonna be the sexiest junkie ever XD
KT Mae: Mmmmmmmm.........smexy!junkie. I'd buy crack from him anyday. If by 'buy crack' you mean 'screw silly', and 'from him' you mean 'until the break of dawn'.

Shadow: So i need SOMETHING to be proud of
Shadow: [/rant]
KT Mae: ....... *Enjoyed said rant* ^__^
Shadow: Hahaha
KT Mae: Your rants are very enjoyable.
Shadow: Eh. I just get passionate ^_^'

Shadow: ...............I see nothing saying there's a PG-13 line o.0
KT Mae: ....
KT Mae: ....Ahh, the joys of anarchy.

Shadow: Dude. They have me, you, and Danyel on PE, and no PG-13 line that I can see. XD
KT Mae: If that doesn't spell online sexual promiscuity, I don't know what does.

KT Mae: That would be some meeting.
KT Mae: KT: ZOMGKEARYN. *Gropes very openly*
KT Mae: All men in proximity: ZOMGLESBIANACTION.
Kearyn: Kearyn: ZOMGKATIE*makes out with*
Kearyn: Men: ...AUGH! *grab pants*

Zelda: *Pokes and runs away giggling*
KT Mae: ...Was that an inappropriate poke?
Zelda: Of course, dear.
KT Mae: ^_____^ *Is appeased and chases, all in good fun*
Zelda: *Is chased*
KT Mae: Aww...I'm not a good runner. I'm kind of slow. >.<
Zelda: *Slows down*
KT Mae: Yay. ^__^ *Chases some more*
Zelda: *Allows herself to be caught*
KT Mae: WOO! *Attacks and grope-ifies*
Zelda: *Is grope-ified* Yay!
KT Mae: Everybody wins!

Graham: That and don't kill me while I'm sleeping.
KT Mae: Damn...you're not into snuff?
KT Mae: (Totally kidding.)
Graham: Sorry I have my line, and that one happens to be...you know.. death.
KT Mae: You don't think I'd be worth it? XD
Graham: Hmmm...
Graham: Hmm...
KT Mae: *Smiles nicely*
KT Mae: ^__^
Graham: Hmm...
Graham: Still pondering.
KT Mae: *Bats eyelashes*
Graham: No, but it was close.
KT Mae: Eh, at least you had to think about it.

Minoru Inoue
05-01-2007, 04:13 PM
toru771@mac.com: How do you get a flutist to play A flat?
Kitty112087: O.O
Kitty112087: Oh
Kitty112087: the a flat
Kitty112087: is this little lever
Kitty112087: you hold down with your pinky
Kitty112087: so you hold down the first three keys
Kitty112087: and then that extra diddly
toru771@mac.com: Nu... 'tis a joke.
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: I was a flutist
toru771@mac.com: ...okie, fine. How do ye get a clarinetist to play an a-flat?
toru771@mac.com: *is a clarinetist*
Kitty112087: XDDD
Kitty112087: how?
toru771@mac.com: Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: XDDD
Kitty112087: I spat on myself
Kitty112087: XDD
toru771@mac.com: XD
Kitty112087: *wipes face*


Me: *doing astronomy homework* Now I have Intergalactic Planetary stuck in my head -.-


Kitty112087: Once this site gets going
Kitty112087: I'm making you join
TheCapedWonder25: XP
Kitty112087: Er?
Kitty112087: why you stickin your tongue out at me?
TheCapedWonder25: you can't make me join.
Kitty112087: o_____o
Kitty112087: YES I CAN
Kitty112087: WE HAVE COOKIES

Phant m u s: you know it's not my fault that I apologize this much, is how I was brought up ^_~
Kitty112087: Really?
Kitty112087: O__O?
Kitty112087: I was taught to never apologize unless I absolutely had to
Kitty112087: XD
Phant m u s: XDD
Kitty112087: Honestly!
Kitty112087: I can't understand people who throw around "i'm sorry" so easily
Kitty112087: *shakes head*
Phant m u s: I'm sorry
Phant m u s: XD
Kitty112087: *points*
Kitty112087: SEE?!
Phant m u s: sorry, I did that without thinking
Kitty112087: *points*
Kitty112087: Ahhh
Phant m u s: ah! sorry!
Kitty112087: XDD
Kitty112087: ERIKA!
Kitty112087: *glomps*
Phant m u s: XDD


Geo: Even though Ive tried to help people
Alan: You know, Hitler was the Prince of Lies. Or was it Satan? *to Geo* Which are you, Hitler or Satan?

Me: So I was mascot for JPCS (club) as we tried to attract incoming freshman to our booth. There were other booths all around us, of every kind of organization. But wouldnt it figure that I, the Jewish/Pagan/Bi girl, got sandwiched between the Protestant Campus Ministry and the Catholic Campus Ministry?

THeFaCeiNTHeMaSK
05-02-2007, 02:49 AM
Wesley: Jamie, I love you with the hot, fiery passion of a thousand icebergs

Jamie: So this Friday, my boyfriend is getting me a present-
Wesley: WHAT?
Jamie: I said that my boyfriend is getting me a present.
Wesley: Oh... I thought you said "My boyfriend is getting me pregnant."
Jamie: *Slaps Wesley Upside The Head*

Wesley: People make too big of a deal when it comes to dating. I'm resolved that I won't date until I'm out of high school. Or better yet, I'll grow up and become a gold digger. I'll marry Oprah for her money, then hopefully she'll die and I get everything! *evil laugh*

Jamie: We need to find Wesley a girl
Hailey: We can't find Wes a girl if he doesn't want one
Jamie: Well, we can always convince Oprah to marry him
Hailey: I have an idea! Let's hypnotize Oprah and make her marry Wes. Then we'll hypnotize her again and have her jump off a bridge!
Jamie: And Wesley lives happily ever after! YAY! Do you think he'll loan me a few million dollars?

(This is after we talked to our counselors about our schedules and he prints out a transcript of our grades)
Jamie: Have you gotten yours yet?
Wesley: Nope, can I see yours.
Jamie: Sure *Hands Wesley Gradesheet*
Wesley: *Scribbles*
Jamie: What're you doing?
Wesley: *Hands Jamie Sheet*
*Race and Sex has been changed from WHITE FEMALE to KOREAN MALE*
Jamie: I can't believe you! I thought you knew me better than that!
Wesley: ???
Jamie: I'm not a Korean Male... I'm a Chinese Transvestite.
(P.S. I hope that didn't offend anyone. It was just to make dear Wesley laugh)

Kaze
05-06-2007, 06:34 PM
Erika: *borrowing Paul for X, Y and Z reasons**watching a movie with Andrew* Ewwww~ straight sex!
Andrew: *looks shocked*
Erika: There's just something wrong about it!
Andrew: *blinks* Something wrong?
Erika: Boobs! Eww!
Andrew: *really concerned* What, into gay sex now?
Erika: *smirk* Only with you, honey~

Masa-chan: *at the doctor's**trying to play all independent I-can-fill-out-my-own-paperwork-even-if-I'm-only-sixteen* *reading paperwork out loud* This is so boring! They ask the same stuff over and over again! Do you have any allergies? Yes. Do you have any allergies? Yes. Do you have an all-- *looks puzzled*
Erika: You've been filling out the same question over and over again, haven't you?
Masa-chan: Sh*t. I should have brought my glasses.

Masa-chan: *reading out loud* Circle if any of the following apply. Blahblahblah, I don't even know what this means so I'll just assume no, blahblahblah, blahblahblah, weight? *fills it* Height? 5'3" Blood Pressure? How am I supposed to-- oh sh't! Do not write bellow this line!

Erika: Rippy, my wife, my love, lover of my nights!
Ripper: Yes, darling?
Erika: Do you remember that winzip link that you gave me?
Ripper: what?
Erika: You know, the file decompressor thing-y.
Ripper: Oh, winrar.
Eika: Yeah, that! Can I have it again.
Ripper: http://www.winrar.com
Erika: ...
Ripper: Feel stupid now?
Erika: *hides forever*

MtM: What's NOT okay is that you put away Ilia.
Erika: ... he'll be back... I promise. :D *pushes Jules in* He's up for RPing too, ye know. ^_~
MtM: You may try, but I will NOT let another character replace Ilia in my heart.:)
Ilia: *hugs MtM* Thank you, SO much! *glares at evil authoress*
Erika: Oh, get a grip! *rolls eyes*

Jonathon: *does something wonderful*
Erika: Have my babies!
Jonathon: ...would it be the other way around?
Erika: But "have my babies!" sounds better than "I want your babies!"
Jonathon: Let's try this again.
Erika: Have my babies! Oh. Shoot.

Jonathon: So what are your wife qualifications?
Erika: Well, I hate to clean, I am forgetful and hate doing laundry and picking up after somebody else.
Jonathon: *takes my hands dramatically* It would have never worked between us.

Minoru Inoue
05-06-2007, 11:29 PM
Alan: But that's a wisk I'm rilling to take.
Everyone: *makes fun of him*
Alan: *shrugs* I'm dightly slyslecsic

Back pickup line:
Me: *gruff voice* Hey baby. I'm really a man under this dress.
(Can't remember where that came from)

More to come, but I forgot it all!

Erik
05-09-2007, 03:30 PM
[08:22] Kat: *huggles*
[08:22] SuperxSamness: *snuggles*
[08:22] SuperxSamness: I know I'm being irrational
[08:22] SuperxSamness: but gawd
[08:22] SuperxSamness: this is hard
[08:23] SuperxSamness: and on a completely unrelated topic, these "Crispy Delights" aren't very delightfull

[19:37] Kat: i love you
[19:38] SuperxSamness: i get to ride in bartsch's car tomorrow
[19:38] SuperxSamness: lol
[19:38] SuperxSamness: i've always wondered if his car was cool on the inside
[19:38] Kat: LOL
[19:39] Kat: i'm sure it's amazing
[19:39] Kat: he has a tv
[19:39] Kat: and leather seats
[19:40] SuperxSamness: ROFL
[19:40] SuperxSamness: and the seats are heated and vibrate
[19:40] SuperxSamness: the backseat flips and turns into a massage table
[19:40] SuperxSamness: the masseuse is in the trunk
[19:40] SuperxSamness: XD
[19:41] Kat: yes, he has a heart shaped bed that turns in the back
[19:41] SuperxSamness: lmfao
[19:41] Kat: lol and he says YEAH baby YEAH
[19:41] SuperxSamness: LOL
[19:41] SuperxSamness: no wonder the board was suspicious in letting him drive me
[19:41] Kat: and has an ugly hairy chest EW
[19:41] SuperxSamness: LOL
[19:41] Kat: and horrible teeth
[19:41] SuperxSamness: XDDD

[19:26] SuperxSamness: I'm wearing my AIDS shirt
[19:26] SuperxSamness: :)
[19:27] Kat: aids?
[19:27] SuperxSamness: my INSPI(RED) one
[19:27] Kat: ooh
[19:27] SuperxSamness: that I got at Gap
[19:27] SuperxSamness: woo
[19:27] Kat: well that's ironic
[19:27] Kat: the gap uses child labor
[19:27] SuperxSamness: lol
[19:27] SuperxSamness: but fights aids
[19:28] Kat: i'm glad you forgive them X3
[19:28] SuperxSamness: lol
[19:28] SuperxSamness: I don't
[19:28] SuperxSamness: but I support AIDS
[19:28] Kat: you support aids
[19:28] SuperxSamness: no
[19:28] SuperxSamness: lol
[19:28] Kat: or aids research and prevention
[19:28] Kat: lol
[19:28] SuperxSamness: I mean
[19:28] SuperxSamness: yah
[19:28] SuperxSamness: lol

Kaze
05-12-2007, 03:02 AM
(For the record... my mother is one of the loudest persons alive, so try to picture it...)

[At Bob's Furniture buying furniture]

Erika: The sales guy is good. Very friendly. Very nice.
Masa-chan: Yeah, is all that psychological crap to make you buy stuff.
Sales man: *standing right behind us* Sales psychology if you son't mind.
Masa-chan: *blushes all shades of red*

Mam: I want them by Friday.
Sales guy: We can't deliver them by Friday.
Mam: I don't want them anymore.
Salas guy: Nuuuuuuu~ wait! we can arrange it!

Mam: *goes off to find the restroom*
Sales guy: Is she going to come back?
Erika: ... I don't know...
Saeles guy: She is going to buy the furniture, right?
Erika: ... she's a bit... impulsive.
Mam: *shows up half an hour later*

Sales guy: *after all is done* You have 78 hours to cancel your order for full refund.
Mam: 78 hours?
Sales guy: Yes. *hands paperwork*
Mam: *really loudly* Okay girls we're going to Levit's!!!
Everyone in the store: *stares*
Sales guy: Shhhhhh~ Diabla!
Mam: *laughs evily*

Mam: We'll be back next month.
Sales guy: *about to cry*

[Walking around town]

Erika: Masa, I'm taking you to court!
Masa: Wha-- whyyyyy?
Erika: Because it's rght there! *points across the street*

{Today was an interesting day...}

[At the hospital cafeteria]

Erika: Last year, someone in my Euro AP class confused France and Germany.
Masa-chan: *chuckles* but Germany is like this big! *thumb and index reeeeeeally close together*
Erika: ... Germany is actually almost as big as France.
Masa-chan: I meant compared to Russia!

[At the Penn Museum]

--Ancient China Exhibit--
Masa-chan and Erika: *just looked at Tibet section*
Mam: Look! They have a picture of Brad Pitt!
Erika: Brad Pitt?
Mam: Yeah, from Seven Years in Tibet!
Masa-chan & Erika: *run back to see*
Mam: *cracks up*

--Ancient Egypt Exhibit--
Masa-chan & Erika: *looking at mummies*
Mam: *really loudly* AHHHHH~
Masa-chan & Erika: *scream*
Mam: It's Moses! And he's about to dump water on you!
Masa-chan: My heart... I think I'm about to die...
Erika: I'm only thankful we are the only people at the museum. *scared to death*

Masa-chan: *stil looking at mummies*
Erika: C'mon, Masa! We're going to Rome!
Masa-chan: Whaa- when?! For real?
Erika: Yes, it's the next exhibit over.
Masa-chan: Stupid.

--Ancient Rome Exhibit--
Mam: *laughs* awww, poor Roman guy!
Masa-chan: Awww, he's missing his arms.
Mam: *cracks up*
Erika: Masa, she's laughing because he's missing his wini.
Masa-chan: Ooooh~ wait. His what?
Erika: ... *points*
Masa-chan: *snorts*

Masa-chan: Awww~ all these poor Roman guys are missing their winies!
Erika: Not those. *points*
Mam: Nahh~ those not even for the cat!
Masa-chan & Erika: Mother!
Mam: *cracks up*
Masa-chan: We really can't take her anywhere, can we?

--Museum Restroom--
Masa-chan: You guys wait for me, kay?
Mam: Of course, honey!*literally drags me out of the restroom, down the stairs and shoves me into a hidden exhibit*
Erika: O___________________O
Masa-chan: *talking to herself**comes out to the bathroom* Right guy-- guys? Hello? Guuuuuuuuuuuuys! This is not funny! Mommy?
Mam & Erika: *crack up*

Angel's Muse
05-12-2007, 03:37 PM
(My name is Laura, so when you see that word...it's me.)

Laura: Muffins.
Megan: Danish pasties.
Laura: Muffins.
Megan: DANISH PASTIES.
Laura: MUFFINS. And you don't even like danish pasties.
Megan: I know. Danish pasties.
Laura: ...

---

Nick (my boyfriend): My hand!
Laura: No. It's my hand. See, it's attatched to my arm. Which is attatched to my torso. Which is attatched to my...
Nick: MY HAND. And arm.
Laura: *pokey fight*
Nick: My leg! *reaches down*
Laura: Don't even go there!

---

Laura: What's your favourite food?
Roksana: ...dogs...
Laura: *is scared*

---

Ed (in German class): Ich esse gern Laura.
Laura: *wacks him over the head with a textbook*

---

16-year old boy (on the subject of WW2): Did Britain win the war?

Mrs Mcloughlin: *evil smirk* Nein.

---

Azure Serenity
05-20-2007, 07:56 AM
Me: So I was mascot for JPCS (club) as we tried to attract incoming freshman to our booth. There were other booths all around us, of every kind of organization. But wouldnt it figure that I, the Jewish/Pagan/Bi girl, got sandwiched between the Protestant Campus Ministry and the Catholic Campus Ministry?

But you gotta admit, it was a boat load of fun being the mascot for the club. I was able to indirectly torture you by making you cosplay someone that required super heavy boots!! I won!!

ahem, quotes....quotes.........AH! I should save the muse quotes, but sadly, I keep forgetting to....remind me sometime Rayna >.>
(Same Geo and Alan that Rayna referred to)

Me: Sup athiest?
Geo: Not much, catholic.

Alan:: *Cracks a really really really bad pun when we were watching the Tekkaman Blade marathon down in the dorm*
Me:: My.....GOD!! *long pause, people start snickering in the silence* That pun was so bad, I think it just gave me cancer. Yep, I think it did.

More than Music
05-31-2007, 05:39 PM
Here are a few quotes that I found 'quote-worthy' from when my mom and older brother were watching 'Lord of the Rings: Return of the King' with us(my dad, MaskedNicci, and me):

Someone forgot to take the rock-climbing course back in Frodo-land.

(of Smeagol/Gollum)Wow, he's got a big head.

(After Gandalf beats Denethor, just before the Battle at Minas Tirith, speaking as Gandalf)Now I am King!

(When Frodo wouldn't destroy the ring)Drop it! You're starting to look like that scrawny dude outside!

(When Pippin is leaning over Merry, after the Battle at Minas Tirith)Kiss him, you know you want to.

(At the very end, when Frodo kisses Sam's forehead) They're kissing!

Minoru Inoue
06-03-2007, 11:20 PM
I have a LOT of quotes today!

(While watching Tekkaman Blade)
Boss: Why dont you come back to my place?
Everyone watching: WHOOOOOOO~!!
*later on*
D-boy: *emerges from Boss room* We were just in bosss room, making kites.
Alan and me: Is THAT what they call it these days?


Kitty112087: Myke, dahling!
xTanubisTx went away at 9:14:45 PM.
Kitty112087: fine then
________________________________________
Auto Response from xTanubisTx: studying for History AP
________________________________________
xTanubisTx: must
Kitty112087: hmph
xTanubisTx: study
xTanubisTx: go away :P
Kitty112087: okay
xTanubisTx: XD
Kitty112087: XP
Kitty112087: screw you
Kitty112087: ^_~
xTanubisTx: o.o
Kitty112087: hard
xTanubisTx: stop distracting me
Kitty112087: XDDD
Kitty112087: Am I really that much of a hag that I can distract you with sex??
Kitty112087: oh, the humanity!


Ellen: If you die in the ancient Egypt exhibit in a museum, would you be mummified?

Erika: Youre going to speak Japengspanch.
Me: Dont forget Hebrew!
Erika: Japengspafrew!


Me: *identifying items in Spanish* Es un libro, un cuaderno, calculadora, b b BOLIGRAFO! Y una calculadora, y alarm clock. wait.

Me: *reading Spanish names* Ester, Angeles, Roberto, Profeor Galleglrama-lama-ding-dong.


Me: I swear to god, that toilet sucks souls.

superxsamness: back in NFLD
Kitty112087: NFLD??
Kitty112087: Ned Flanders?
Kitty112087: XDDD
superxsamness: Newfoundland
Kitty112087: oh
superxsamness: = Sam's old province
superxsamness: lol
superxsamness: XD
superxsamness: good job
superxsamness: anyways
Kitty112087: XDDDD
Kitty112087: *still cracking up*
Kitty112087: *laughing hard and trying not to wake up roomie*


LegyndsEnd: hey
Kitty112087: hi
LegyndsEnd: are u displeased with the current quality of Elynrea (a roleplay he made)
Kitty112087: O_o
Kitty112087: you sound like an infomercial
Kitty112087: "Do you wake up tired?"
Kitty112087: Oh, my god!!!
Kitty112087: Yes, I do!
LegyndsEnd: Tired of Elynrea?
Kitty112087: XDD
Kitty112087: never
LegyndsEnd: Exhausted with endless battles?
Kitty112087: XDDD
Kitty112087: Dannnnnn!!!!
LegyndsEnd: Tired of never haviving enough Silver Coins?
Kitty112087: >> Oh, hells yes
Kitty112087: XD
Kitty112087: I could always go for more money
Kitty112087: *corrupt*
LegyndsEnd: lol

LegyndsEnd: do you talk with Caitlin "Major"
Kitty112087: Now and then
Kitty112087: need her to post?
LegyndsEnd: if you see her on
LegyndsEnd: tell her I'm sorry Chapter 3 sucks
Kitty112087: XD
Kitty112087: no way!!
Kitty112087: it opened with Ash (my character)
Kitty112087: -- that's a winner
LegyndsEnd: ...been getting a lot of complaints
LegyndsEnd: -_-
Kitty112087: it's a winner
LegyndsEnd: Ulric and Seraphine and Dante
Kitty112087: the others are just upset they're not in it
LegyndsEnd: -_-
Kitty112087: *waves hand*
LegyndsEnd: well Ulric can shove it, honestly, cuz she told she was talkign a break til she said she had time to play
Kitty112087: mmm
LegyndsEnd: but I told everyone that this was kind of a backstory chapter
Kitty112087: then that's her fault
Kitty112087: the way to make this fair
Kitty112087: is to promise the others who were not in it
Kitty112087: that they get their own backstory chapter together
LegyndsEnd: chapter 4 is opening with Mizuki
LegyndsEnd: and Moersho/Dante
Kitty112087: when you put a slash between their names
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: *giggling totally immaturely*
Kitty112087: *SNORT*
LegyndsEnd: they havea joint post
LegyndsEnd: lol
Kitty112087: Suuuuuuuuuure they do
Kitty112087: >>
Kitty112087: Like the dream with Seraphine and the sexy sexy vampire
Kitty112087: ^_!
Kitty112087: *^_~
LegyndsEnd: lol
Kitty112087: Dude
Kitty112087: I want your vampire
Kitty112087: ...
LegyndsEnd: which one
LegyndsEnd: Whyte or Fyr?
Kitty112087: >> The one wit the hawt scene with Seraphine
Kitty112087: Fyr
Kitty112087: >>
Kitty112087: ...
Kitty112087: *licks lips*
Kitty112087: he's good


haha1986: I love alcohol
Kitty112087: o____o??
Kitty112087: >>
Kitty112087: erh?
haha1986: that sounded wrong didn't it
Kitty112087: XD
Kitty112087: i enjoy alcohol from time to time
haha1986: well you know the hand sanitizers? I just love the fact that alcohol is such a powerful germ killer
Kitty112087: XDDDD
Kitty112087: ....
Kitty112087: XDDDDD
Kitty112087: OMFG

Kitty112087: Myyyyyykkkkeeeeeee
Kitty112087: this is your coooonnncciiieeennnnccceeee
xTanubisTx: rayna
Kitty112087: O.O
xTanubisTx: ....
Kitty112087: YOU SPELLED MY NAME RIGHT
Kitty112087: HOLY ****
Kitty112087: o_____o
xTanubisTx: ...
xTanubisTx: oops
Kitty112087: does that mean I have to stop spelling your name with a "y" now?
Kitty112087: T___T
xTanubisTx: i wuv reyna
Kitty112087: XD
Kitty112087: I wuv my Myke

Mom: Today is my bosses birthday. I started to sing Happy Birthday to him, but only sang the first 2 lines. He thanked me for thinking of him, for singing to him, AND FOR STOPPING WHEN I DID

masquerading rose
06-04-2007, 12:49 AM
*At a dentist's office, getting my bottom braces on. A little kid is getting a cleaning next to me*

Little kid's little brother: *to dentist* Hey, did you know that ants can carry carry 50 times their own weight?
Dentist: *in a little kid-cutsy voice*: No, I didn't know that!
Little kid's little brother: Wow, miss! Then you must be stupid really stupid!


*On a TV show*
Pre-K teacher: Sit criss-cross applesauce!
kid: That is really lame, ma'am. I don't wanna.
Pre-K teacher: .....

*I randomly walk in on my sister and her friend's conversation*
Sister: Raise your hand if you are one of the people who would stop breathing if ambercrombie told you to on a T-shirt
Friend: Seriously?
Sister: Yeah
Me: Let's pretend I don't know what you are talking about.

Kid in my class's T-shirt: Stop looking at my shirt

Kid in Band's shirt: Only an idiot would stand there reading my shirt.

*In band*

Teacher: Okay, get out PotC.
Class: *about to play*
Friend: WAIT!!!!
Teacher: What?
Friend: I wanna tell you somthing!
Teacher: What?
Friend: I'm gonna change my religeon to Mormon so I can have like.. eight wives...
Me: Why do you need eight?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: You don't even deserve one!
Teacher: ANNYYYWAAYY!!!

I want to let y'all know I did NOT mean that Mormon comment offensifly. Nor did my friend.

Forgotten Angel
06-06-2007, 10:38 PM
Courtney: "What's in the closet and unsafe?"
Mike: "Michael Jackson."

Eli: "You know, computers are actually run by little fairies that live in them named Chip?"
Me: "Chip doesn't like me. He makes my computer spontaneously crash."
Eli: "No, that's his brother, Processor. It's a strange fairy name."
Me: "Well, Processor must not like me, then."
Eli: "You should have their father, Reformat, pay them a visit."
Me: "No, too many important files."
Eli: "Did you have their uncle Defrag whoop their asses?"
Me: "Yes. Yes I did."

Mike: and of course my virus scan has already scanned 150000 files, and yet, no VIRUSES
Mike: wiht my luck, it'll be in the very last folder -_-;;
Me: mmhm
Mike: curse you god!!
Me: XD
Mike: HE'S JEALOUS OF MY SEXINESS

Ms. Yaeger: "Next class, we will finish our journey into the pit of Hell, and then we will find the Holy Grail."



There are many more from the past..... while...... But I don't have time to post them now. >.>

Masqued Mystery
06-07-2007, 12:33 AM
I don't have a lot of really funny quotes in my life, at least not that I can remember, but I've got two from today...

My teacher: (on the swings) I'm gonna swing until I puke up that pie I ate earlier! Then I'll lose all the weight I gained from eating it!

Me: (running insanely towards the porch of a little playhouse in my yard) RUN AWAY, WOODCHUCK!! (it had just gone under the porch)

masquerading rose
06-07-2007, 01:31 PM
I don't have many, but I like reading people's.

Me: *Reading a book for a project about skunks to my friend and Sister* And so the Male skunk finds a female, mates with her and leaves....
Sitster and Friend: So its like "Skunk rape"?
Me: *Facepalm* Yeah, but I can't put "SKUNK RAPE" in my project.


Me: *At midnight. These words were on accident* To many years fighting back tears why can't the patron die?!
Sister: SAY WHAT?!
Me: Sorry, did that sound bad?
Sister: No, no, it sounded great but you screwed up the words.
Me: Nu-uh
Sister: Yeah
Me: No
Sister: Yes
*And the argument continued on.*

Kaze
06-13-2007, 09:12 PM
Mr. Ellis: *to Sarah* You know I wouldn't say anything if you couldn't take it.
Sarah: I know.
Masa-chan: I can't take it!
Mr. Ellis: You know what? You're so full of it.

Matt: You know what, when I get into Princeton I'm going to write you a letter, and it's gonna say: "Dear Mr. Edwish, thank you for all your help."
Edwish: Heh. And help is going to be spelled wrong.
Matt: I know how to spell help!
Mr. Edwish: Yeah, and then watch it. After that is going to say: "I'm doing good!"

Ms. Bauer: The accomplished writer will seek to overwrite, then go back and edit. The unaccomplished writer will seek to write a few sentences and then insert bull**** into them.

[[January, Geometry class]]

Mr. Schuenzel: This is trigonometry, and is about triangles.
B. Wash: Wait. Is this when we begin to talk about shapes and stuff.
Mr. Schuenzel: Yes, Brandon. We've been talking about shapes since September.

Mrs. Lavin: Okay, kids! Give me more adjectives! Give me more adjectives!
Some kid: Bizarre.
Some other kid: Exotic!
Joe: Orgasmic!
Mrs. Lavin: Excellent verb!
--After Class--
Rachel: Mrs. Lavin how did you let him say that in class and encouraged him to say that?
Mrs. Lavin: I didn't say it was a good word. I don't think that's the word he said, I think he said something else.

[[Speaking about Slavery]]
Mr. Ellis: Where are the *meaning to say slaves* women?! More women!
Everyone: *stares*
Mr. Ellis: Wait, that's more like trying to beat the odds. 'More women!'
Anthony: Do you realize that by the time these women are old enough, you're going to be like fifty, which would make you a pedophile?
Mr. Ellis: *disturbed* Uh, I think we should stop talking about this.
Anthony: Mr. Ellis, I think you should rent a date.

[[Speaking about the Civil War]]
Mr. Ellis: And this period is similar to what period during the war of independance?
Class: *silent*
Mr. Ellis: It begins with a 'C'...
Class: *silent*
Mr. Ellis: Is kinda what happens when you go to the hospital...
Masa-chan: Constipated?
Mr. Ellis: NO! NOT CONSTIPATED! CRITICAL! WHEN HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE CONSTIPATED PERIOD OF AMERICAN HISTORY?!!!

MystMoonstruck
06-20-2007, 10:51 PM
We just returned from Wal-Mart, where I imade a rather derisive statement that the people in the prescription department then repeated to each other. You know how more and more OTC medicines have to be picked up using a card, supposedly because druggies are doing things with Sudafed and other such? Well, my mother needed to buy Cystex, which they informed her that she would have to ask for at the prescription desk.

I snorted and said, rather too loudly, "Oh yeah! We druggies all use a lot of Cystex!" (It's for urinary tract problems.)

Obviously, I need to get out more, true?

masquerading rose
06-21-2007, 12:58 AM
(this happened like two years ago) Me, my sister, my mom, and my sisters friend were going to see a movie. And before the previews, there is a scren with a bunch of stars on it. And its up for about five minuets. Then my points out the contellation Orion. And then my sisters friend goes "What's orion?" my mom tells her its a constellation.

Fried: Oh the closest I've ever gotten to studying the stars was reading my horoscope.
Mom, me, sister, and someone in the row in front of us: That's not astronomy, thats astrology!!
rest of theatre: *cracks up*

When my family went to go see HP and the GoF...
Little kid somewhere in the theatre: *after Harry disappears from screen* Where Harry go? *Harry reappears* YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Christine's Shadow
06-21-2007, 09:21 PM
I was reading through some older threads and this statement between Rozaliya and Ember made me giggle:

"What will you do? Spread malicious gossip about me around the Opera House? Come after me with a pick ax?" Rozaliya released a laugh of mirthless amusement, her gaze focued on Ember. "You don't frighten me, my dear."

"Well," the brunette started, "The gossip isn't very fun, and it just isn't worth my time. The pick axe sounds more fun than gossip, but it's too messy..."

just thought that would make others giggle. XD

Night feather
06-21-2007, 10:04 PM
Frank: (to my father who is wearing too short pants) What has your socks and your pants become enemies?

Pernille: He's just so uncritical about his girls
Anne: Well a hole is a hole

Karoline: (about a tiny Danish island) Well Mors has the highest murder rate.... and the highest level of inbreeding

Me: (On Sam not knowing what her nickname Samosa is) It's a Middle Eastern Snack'ish thing
Sam: Is it any good?
Me: Absolutely, you're very tasty, I'd totally eat you
Me:..... And that sounded a little more perverted than I had intended

My sister: The palantir was like today's cell phone, only problem was that you got Sauron on the phone

Nino (our biology teacher): (Teaching about enzymes) And perhaps when you're done with your sms'ing Cecilie, we can continue
Cecilie: *blushes* But Nino! It's just so boring!

Nino: I lost my virginity when I was 19
Pernille.... Well I would have thought it was sooner
Nino: Oh no, I was a late bloomer, but when I got going, I really got going
Pernille, Cecilie and me: O.O .... oh
Nino: You should have seen me when I was on the Galapagos, I got laid so many times
Pernille, Cecilie and Me... Oh... O.O
Nino: ... Well continue the good job studying

Minoru Inoue
06-24-2007, 10:58 PM
Me: Im wearing two pairs of pants at the same time.
Nicole: Why dont you take your pants off?
Me: *cracks up*
Nicole: *cracks up*
Me: you have to buy me dinner first!
Nicole: I bought you a chocolate drink yesterday
Me: true
Nicole: So take em off!


*Mikes away message comes up*
Kitty112087: heyy
Kitty112087: HEYYYY
Kitty112087: don't flash your f***ing away message at me
Kitty112087: you b****
Kitty112087: Hmph
xTanubisTx: XD
xTanubisTx: it happens
Kitty112087: I'm not talking to you for 5 minutes
xTanubisTx: ....
xTanubisTx: ........
xTanubisTx: .........................
xTanubisTx: hmm
xTanubisTx: what ever will I do with this gag, whip, and leather crotch-less pants...
xTanubisTx: whoops ::drops the soap::


xTanubisTx: brb, gotta get dressed for work
Kitty112087: Oooh~
Kitty112087: ^_~ But if you work for me, you have to get undressed for work~
xTanubisTx: -_-;;
xTanubisTx: ::gets the hose::
Kitty112087: hose?
Kitty112087: XDD
xTanubisTx: yes
Kitty112087: oooh~
Kitty112087: ^_~
Kitty112087: my, you have such a long hose~
xTanubisTx: you'd rather wished i got the whip
Kitty112087: Nah, I have the whip, remember?
xTanubisTx: MY HOSE LOVES YOUR FAUCET


xTanubisTx: if stupidty was pee, you'd be a urinal
Kitty112087: thank you Myke
Kitty112087: now bend over
xTanubisTx: ...
xTanubisTx: no
Kitty112087: *gets out paddle*
xTanubisTx: hazing is illegal
Kitty112087: ^_~ Only if you're caught
xTanubisTx: ...
xTanubisTx: ::panics::


Phant m u s: Dress or no dress?
Kitty112087: O.O
Kitty112087: eh?
Phant m u s: Is like to be or not to be
Phant m u s: only ten times more fashionable

And two lines I have to use in a roleplay:
Im sitting here, pondering all the uses of the air that youre wasteing.

You know, you really shouldnt waste air like that. Theres asthmatics in Cairo.

Daroga
06-24-2007, 11:30 PM
I want in on the fun...

Jeff (my best friend who is obsessed with Chuck Norris): So... how's Chuck?
Me: *le sigh* for the last time my cat's name is Oz, not Chuck. By the way did I tell you got a new kitten.
Jeff: Really....
Me: And no... I'm not going to name him Chuck.
Jeff: Why would you want two cat's named Chuck? So your shopping must be easier now.
Me: Quoi?
Jeff: Now that you only need hair nets and cat food...
Me: You know you shouldn't smoke crack with small child in the house.
Jeff: You are a turning into a crazy cat lady, Eddie [Izzard] says you only need cat food and hairnets.
Me: Why am I still friends with you?
Jeff: Cause I know where you hide the bodies CSI boy.

..and cause it amused me

SuperxSamness: but now she's ready to quit and go back to what us part-timers call "a real job"
Jon Rugger10: lol
SuperxSamness: (the full time people don't use that phrase, as I suspect it depresses them that they work full time at a fake job)
SuperxSamness: lol
SuperxSamness: (don't tell my sister)
Jon Rugger10: lol
Jon Rugger10: awww...
Jon Rugger10: darn I was just dialing Moo to tell her that her job isn't real
Jon Rugger10: :p
SuperxSamness: lol
SuperxSamness: "Hello? This is Jon, Sam's 25 year old brother she met on the internet before I adopted her... I was just calling to tell you that YOUR JOB ISN'T REAL. HAHA. ....no, I won't tell you how I got your number..."
Jon Rugger10: LOL
SuperxSamness: oh yes. that would so happen.
SuperxSamness: :p
Jon Rugger10: no...
Jon Rugger10: it would be like
Jon Rugger10: "hey baby... sorry I miss our weekly randevous but I just thought you should know..."
SuperxSamness: LMFAO
SuperxSamness: AHAHAHA
SuperxSamness: that made my night

masquerading rose
06-25-2007, 12:37 AM
*on speaker phone*
Me: Hey, Mick, you there?
Mick: Yeah
Friend one: You're on speaker
Mick: Why?
*silence*
Friend one: Hey, we're at McDonalds... do you want us to bring you something?
Mick: Ummmm.... Okay???
Friend 2: What do you want?
Mick: Ummmmmm.........I don't know.....
Friend 3: We'll briong you whatever
Mick: Okay??
Friend1: Okay, see ya then, oh and be sure to dress up. We don't want you looking like a slob when we get there.
Mick: Ummmmm......
Me: Okay Bye!
firend1: WE LOVE YOU
friend3: No we don't!!
*Ten minuets later, we pull up to his house with a SUPER big chocolate milkshake for him. He answers the door in his PJ's*
Mick: AWW SWEET! Thanks guys!!
Me: Hey, where's our tip?
Mick: Tip?
Me: Yeah, don't we get a tip?
Mick: No
Me: OKay
Mick: I didn't think y'all would really bring me something
Friend 3: I thought you were going to get dressesd up...
Mick: Naw, I was watching the Phantom of the Opera...
Friends 2 + 3: Groan!!!!!!!!
Me and friend 1: YAY!!

The Khanum
06-26-2007, 05:10 AM
Because I can.

KT Mae: Damn that 'no pornography' rule on Facebook.
Joe: It's artistic, you sons of b*tches!
Joe: It just happens to have some boobs in it, and some naked people, and... a goat? WTF???

Kitty112087: KT!
WeWantsdaRedhead: ZOMG iloveyouuuuuuuu.
Kitty112087: O____O
Kitty112087: thank you
Kitty112087: I adore you as well
Kitty112087: >> What'd I do?
WeWantsdaRedhead: you were your amazing self.
Kitty112087: XD
Kitty112087: ummmm
Kitty112087: ^^ Thanks
Kitty112087: >>
Kitty112087: What else did I do?
Kitty112087: XD
WeWantsdaRedhead: you forgot about last night so quickly? for shame!
Kitty112087: XDDD
Kitty112087: Ohh, thaaaaaaaaaat
Kitty112087: well
Kitty112087: I did hit my head a few times
Kitty112087: ... or was that you hitting my head?
Kitty112087: that costume you wore was amaaaaaaazing
WeWantsdaRedhead: oh, i know. in all honesty, though, i preferred your lack of costume.

Graham: I didn't have enough KT Mae in my day today.
KT Mae: Well, you have fifteen minutes to get your fill.
Graham: ...Why fifteen minutes?
KT Mae: Becaaaause...it's 11:45. The day ends in fifteen minutes.
Graham: Oh. Right. Well, I can just save it up and use it tomorrow.
KT Mae: What am I, freakin' rollover minutes?
Graham: Of course not. I won't waste you.

Forgotten Angel
06-28-2007, 04:13 AM
I will add many more quotes later. But right now, this needs to be posted before I forget it:

Me: "He was feeling up his arrow."

Me: hm. i think you should stop being distracted. *nods*
Erika: XDD
Erika: Awww
Erika: but whyyyy~
Me: because the only thing that could possibly be more distracting than me is Rayna :p

Megan: Don't hit Shadow!
Mike: And what's your name?
Megan: Shadow!

Mike: Megan, what's going to happen if you die?
Megan: Uh...
Me: We've discussed this, Megan! If you die, then I have to die, so we can both come back and haunt Mike!
Megan: YES!

Daroga
07-03-2007, 03:20 PM
I think exhaustion is warping my sense of humor but I found this very funny...

Kevin: (my brother-in-law) You know I think we are going about this all wrong.
Ash: How's that?
Kevin: Well we are moving the boxes down the stairs and then back up the stairs.
All of us: *Stare*
Kevin: He's moving from the second floor to the thrid floor. I say we shove it out the window and then only have to carry it up one flight.
Ash: And the part about it being across town?
Kevin: Quiet woman, let a man dream!
Ash: *glare*
Kevin: ..... Can I carry that box down for you dear?

Mrs Nadir Khan
07-03-2007, 03:59 PM
Me: Man, you are weird
Emily (a friend): Thanks...
Me: I'm so glad you're my friend.
Emily: Well, that's not something usually following "you are weird".
Me: Yeah. But I'm glad because you understand me.
Emily: Mostly.
(Both of us laugh)
Me: It's great that I'm talking to you because if I wasn't, I'd be talking to someone else.

___

Me: Yo, Chrissy. There's a fly over there.
Chrissy: *screams and hides behind me* I hate chairs!

___

Mom: I think there is something going on between Nadir and Raoul.
Me: What?!?
Mom: Yeah. I think so.
Chrissy: Christine is jealous.
Me: So's Erik.
Mom: Of who?
Me: Yes. I honestly think he'd be jealous of Nadir because he intentionally had Raoul brought to his lair for his own purposes. He'd be jealous of Raoul because we all know about Erik's one-sided subtextual homosexual emotions.
Mom: *blinks* Er... I was only joking.

_____

Me: I'm going to shut up.
Courtney (my BFF): Why?
Me: You're driving. I shouldn't be distracting you.
Courtney: You aren't.
Me: Please, we all know how easily distracted you are.
Courtney: Am not! *as we veer to the shoulder*
Instructor: *to me* Are you trying to have us killed?!
Courtney: No. If she was, she'd be driving.

Christine's Shadow
07-12-2007, 04:53 AM
this made me laugh.

Me: mr bell is british. he has a very blunt and sometimes dry sense of humor.
Me: ...humour*
Christine: HA.
Christine: you spelled it the american way. XD
Me: shhh
Christine: <<
Christine: >>
Christine: i won't tell.
Me: my computer thinks it's american. xD

and this did too:

*At Camp*
Counsellor 1: ... You smell.
Counsellor 2: ... Your MOM smells.
Counsellor 1: ... Your FACE smells.
Counsellor 2: ... this one time... I DID smell.

Forgotten Angel
07-13-2007, 08:46 AM
This was too good to NOT post.

Me: sooooooooo if we want to maximize our time in Philly, I say we go to the 10 AM (my gods that's an evil time in the summer >.> good thing it's a long train ride) tour/info session thing. that'll probably take about 2 hours total - so when we get out of that, we go for lunch. then after lunch we head over to Chinatown and South Street and the Historic District (they're all in one spot! it's amazing!) and have a blast for the rest of the day
Rita: I swear to god when I skimmed your IM I thought you said something about a pride parade

And from last night:

Me: Heh. I'm listening to my guilty pleasure pop artists. ^_^;
Eli: Sin!
Eli: Malice!
Eli: Treachery!
Eli: Which ones are they?
Me: Christina Aguilera, Delta Goodrem, and Kylie Minogue.
Eli: Nice.
Me: Heh. Kylie is just catchy as all hell, and Christina and Delta have beautiful voices.
Eli: Voices.
Eli: Yeah.
Eli: Beautiful... voices.
Me: *smacks* You're supposed to be listening to them, not watching them! ....usually.

PhAnToMeSs07
07-15-2007, 07:56 PM
So, it's not the funniest thing in the world but it still killed me. It happened a few months ago when I was still in highschool. I was walking with my two best friends, Brittany and Kristin, although I am closer to Brittany. She had had a rough morning, and her hair was thrown up in a sloppy fashion. Kristin was all bedazzled out to an absurd degree as usual.

Kristin: *Looks at Brittany's hair as she walks up* Brittany, what is wrong with your hair?
Brittany: *Already pissed at the world...so she yells.* Kristin, what the hell is wrong with your face?!
Me: *snicker and then covers my mouth quickly*
Kristin: *Storms off all pissy*
Brittany: Well, she had it coming.
Me: *Busts into song* She had it coming, she had it coming...she only had herself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it...I bet ya you would have done the same!
Brittany: *Blank Stare*

Another One which was a really long time ago but I still find it amusing to this day. We were having Drum Major tryouts and my old band director (Mr. Willis) had not been fired yet. He was kind of chubby and Star Wars Episode Three had just come out so, me and a few others had our toy lightsabers ready to fight with. So immature but still fun. :) I had it attached to my side and Willis was giving us the chance to see what it felt like to stand on the DM stand which was off the ground and it has steps for those who dont know. Well, I am on top of it and there is Willis at the bottom with his tubby self and an idea pops in my head. He is rambling on and here is where the dialogue begins.

Willis: Now, being DM is a huge responsibility.

Me: *Beginning of Why So Silent* Da...Da...Da...Da * With each Da, I take a step down.* Why so Silent, Good Monsieurs? *Skip a bit to get to the point and I pull out the lightsaber* Fondest greetings to you all, a few instructions just before rehearsal starts. Carlotta must be taught to act. *I motion at the girl who would was our DM the previous year which is funny cause we really did call her Carlotta...she was a biddy* Not her normal trick of strutting round the stage. Our Don Juan most lose some weight, its not normal in a man of Piangis age. *At this I turned toward Willis and poked his belly with the lightsaber and at this, I began laughing along with the others.* Then I got wrote up but it was so worth it.*

masquerading rose
07-16-2007, 06:36 PM
*At Epcot at Disney world onthe world showcase*

Cassie: Let's go to "Morocco"!!
Mom: And we can have lamb and chicken sadwiches
Me: *Mishearing what my mom just said* What?! I didn't know Morocco was the land of chicken sadwiches!!!


Me: *on phone with my friend Emily* Dude, my teacher from last year just called me!!
Emily: Huh? Why?
Me: She wanted to know if I wanted to the IMAX to see the fifth HP movie.
Emily: You? Of all people. I can't believe you are her favorite student!!
Me: I am so tempted to yell at you and chuck my cell phone across the room.
Emily: Why don't you? You don't want to hurt my feelings?
Me: No. Its not that. I love my phone to much.
Emily: *craks up*
Me: No, seriously. She wanted to know if I could go because her daughter and I are friends.
Emily: You have friends other than me?
Me: YES!! Just because I talk to you most doesn't mean I'm a complete loser.
Emily and Me: *Both laugh like maniacs*

PhAnToMeSs07
07-18-2007, 06:32 AM
My younger sisters got balloons from inside of food lion and they had helium in them. Well, they went over to my grandma's and it was just me and mom at home. I took the balloons and began sucking the helium out of them.

Me: Ding Dong The Witch is Dead, which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead!

Mom: Miranda, are you watching the Wizard of Oz? *She walks around the corner to look*

Me: No *In a high pitch voice.*

Mom: *Laughing* Do it again.

Me: *sucks more out* Look, it's tomorrow! *Points wildly*

Mom: I don't get it.

Me: Of course...Follow the Yellow Brick Road! Hey! *claps and does a jig*

Mom: *snickers and goes back to doing laundry until she hears a thud* Miranda, are you okay?

Me: *Laying on the floor dazed and confused* I think...I was just watching TV. *voice is still high pitched and the tv wasn't on*

Mom: *Beginning to laugh really hard* No you weren't, you blacked out!

Me: That's the last time I do that standing up.

Christine's Shadow
07-21-2007, 03:27 AM
this made me and James laugh exsessively. (I still can't spell)

shadow3103 (10:15:34 PM): oi.. what time is it over yonder?
toru771@mac.com (10:20:04 PM): 4:20 PM
shadow3103 (10:15:57 PM): HAAAAAAAAAA.
shadow3103 (10:15:59 PM): s***.
shadow3103 (10:16:06 PM): it's 10: 20 over here.
toru771@mac.com (10:20:17 PM): What time is it?
toru771@mac.com (10:20:21 PM): Whoa.
shadow3103 (10:16:13 PM): dah
shadow3103 (10:16:17 PM): "Whoa"
shadow3103 (10:16:33 PM): only an hour and 40 minutes until Harry Potter is released here!
toru771@mac.com (10:20:52 PM): O.O
shadow3103 (10:16:54 PM): HAAAAAAAA.
shadow3103 (10:16:55 PM): sucker.
toru771@mac.com (10:21:08 PM): ...*promptly tries to teleport to Canadia*
toru771@mac.com (10:21:10 PM): XD
shadow3103 (10:17:04 PM): Canadia?
toru771@mac.com (10:21:20 PM): Yus.
shadow3103 (10:17:14 PM): Now that's just INSULTING.
shadow3103 (10:17:19 PM): *pimp smacks*
toru771@mac.com (10:21:34 PM): Aww. Sam appreciates it!
shadow3103 (10:17:43 PM): ... I do. Secretly. I just wanted to pimp smack you. XD

THEEND. that just made me smile =D

IamErik771
07-21-2007, 03:40 AM
Extremely long post . . . And these aren't in any order whatsoever. ^_^


Quotes from fellow TPO-ians, via AIM

(with Kearyn, just now)
Kearyn: *boogies*
Me: Is Sendspace good?
Kearyn: *skanks*
Me: For ye?
Kearyn: dah. ^__^
Me: *tangoes*
Me: Ooh, pwned!
Kearyn: *fox trots*
Me: Tango pwns all. XD
Kearyn: Ooh! Who got pw--
Kearyn: ahh HELL NAH.
Kearyn: *moshriverdancesdoesthewormANDtangos!*
Me: Ooh.
Me: XD
Me: brb
Kearyn: OOH!! WHATCHOO GONNA DO NOW FIDDY CENT?!
Kearyn: YOU EYEIN' MAH CANDY!? *continues*
Me: *disappears in a puff of smoke while moshriverdancewormtangoing* PWNED!
Kearyn: AH HEEEELLLL NAAH! BOY!
Me: (Autoreply) Tangoing all night...
Kearyn: oh don't you DARE start flashing that tango at me while away! nuh uh!
Kearyn: *riverdancesdoesthewormbreakdancingpopsacollawhile doingthetangoandstartsafoxtrotwithVictorandTHENtan gossomemoreandthenflipsarim* OH WHUUUUUUUT????????*strikes a gangsta pose with the hat tipped off to the side*
Kearyn: and he still is pwned. HAH.
Me: BACK!
Kearyn: I friggin' PWNED you man
Me: Yus. XD
Kearyn: WIN! THE MASTER IS DEFEATED!
Me: For now, dear Excel... ;)
Kearyn: =D
Kearyn: ExelExcel! <3 the Saga continues!! XD
Me: Hee hee...

(with mah lahvely Sammiekins)
Me: Posteded!
Samness: YAY!Q
Samness: -Q
Me: Hee hee... Q knows all!
Samness: lol
Me: 'Tis a Star Trek reference. :P
Samness: I wish I understood
Samness: :P
Samness: <3
Me: <333
Samness: you're a lovely nerd, Faja

(with KittyKat)
Me: Hee hee... posty in teh WPO?
Me: Because ye lahve me?
Katia: oh ayh!
Katia: i forgot i had to do that ^_^;
Me: ^_^ *glomps*
Katia: ^_^
Katia: i shall start, don't know if i'll finish, seeing as i have to leave soon
Katia: but i promise i'll start
Me: Ah, okies.
Me: No way to finish unless ye start.
Me: And that's my wise saying for today.
Katia: XD
Katia: good job, james.

NOTE: These two exchanges between Zelda and myself took place when we were in a romantic relationship. We have since broken up, but are still close friends.

Me: *cuddles*
Zelda: *cuddles back*
Me: *nibbles chocolate!Zelda*
Zelda: *snerks*
Me: ... That would be cool, if we convinced some chocolate company to make Chocolate Zeldas.
Me: I'd buy them by the truckload!
Zelda: Haaaaaaa.
Zelda: Have fun biting my head off, dear.
Me: *debates whether to start at the top or bottom*
Me: *or somewhere in the middle*
Zelda: Now you're teasing me.
Me: *nibbles real!Zelda instead* Much more satisfying.
Zelda: That makes me smile.

Zelda: I should probably be working right now . . .
Me: Hmm...
Me: *meeps heartily*
Zelda: *is heartily meeped* Not that kind of working, dear.
Me: Aww, okies. *pulls out*
Zelda: Terrible, you are.
Me: Yus, I am.
Zelda: I'm going back to work now. Must get boning in and ruching and hooks and eyes on.
Me: ...boning.
Me: *refrains*
Zelda: *giggles* Hush, you.


Quotes from my Faja (so would he be Sam's Grandfaja?)

Dad, looking over my shoulder at my global warming project:
"Did you ever notice that all of our neighbors own boats? I think they're on to something..."

(while making banana splits)
Dad: When I was a kid, you could get one of these for a dollar at the ice cream parlour. Now, you can't get one for less than three.
Me: Talk about inflation . . .
Dad: It's all the fault of OBEC and their price-gouging.
Me: . . . *bursts out laughing*
('Twas a reference to OPEC, the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. Presumaby, OBEC would be the Organization of Banana Exporting Countries.)

(while driving, a truck cuts in front of me to pass another driver)
Me: *mumbling sarcastically* Oh, I think I'll cut in front of this guy, because I'm a big, bad truck and I can get one whole car length ahead!
Dad: Freud would call that a "passing-agressive" response.


Quotes from School Friends

(first day in shop class, and yes, Thor is his birth name.)
Thor: *holding up various woodworking tools* Behold the might of Thor's hammer! And Thor's screwdriver . . . and Thor's crescent wrench, too.

(on several occasions during band camp)
Thor: *holds up some random long object, usually a musical instrument* It's a suppository!

(signatures in my yearbook)
Scott: Death comes on swift wings, my friend. Start living now.
Kyle: Smite the demon with thy staff of whacking!

(while talking about my allergy to poultry)
Me: If I eat any chicken, I'll get a bad rash, my throat will swell up and I'll have trouble breathing, and I might die.
Kyle: O.O . . . Whoa.
Scott: I love how you're so casual about it. 'Oh, yeah, I might die.'
Me: *shrugs* Well, it hasn't happened yet.
Kyle: You sure about that?
Me: . . . Fair point.

(while playing chess)
Me: Why do you insist on keeping your king so close to my pieces?
Kyle: *imitating Pippin from Lord of the Rings* The closer I am to danger, the farther I am from harm. It's the last thing you'll expect.
(He eventually won the game. Swept the board with me, as I recall.)

(a friend named Daniel Motter)
Daniel: I plan on having two daughters. The first will be named 'Alma.'
Me: Alma Motter?
Daniel: Exactly. And the second will be named 'Wossa.' That way, when she's in high school and there are rumours about her dating some guy, I can go up to him and ask, "Hey . . . Wossa Motter with you?"

masquerading rose
07-22-2007, 07:20 PM
Me: *playing computer game* DagNabit! I've died twenty three times this week, and its only Monday!
Emily: Try throwing the fire extinguisher at the guy coming after you.
Me: Why didn't it say that on the dang walkthrough?!
*Throws fire extinguisher only to get it thrown back at "me" and knock "Me" out*
Me: Well that was.... pointless....
Emily: Try this.... *does a load of complicated clicking and I forget what's going on.*
Me: Emily, dear, you are a SAINT!
Emily: I don't get it.... your the one who passed computer lit...
Me: I did?
Emily: Yeah....

*Playing another computer game*
Me: FINALLY! We finished.
Emily: Let's watch the credits!!
Me: why are 25% of theese people named Christina.... hey look! A George...
Emily: YEAH! The cridits are over!
Me: Finally. I'm hungry, lets get something to eat/
Emily: Wait, their starting again.
*So we sit there, for three more hours watching the credits so that we memorize them...*
Emily: Why isn't my name on there?
Me: Well Emilah is a rare name.
Emily: I think my parents made it up...
Me: And the credits are starting AGAIN

Mrs Nadir Khan
07-25-2007, 11:41 PM
Quote Thread: Disney World Edition

Me: Ach Im freakin sunburned
Chrissy: Poor you
Me: Yeah, it sucks because I either burn or stay sheet white
Chrissy: Oh
Me: Im broken chameleon!
Chrissy: *_*

***

Mom: Since we missed the monorail, well take the ferry.
Me: haha. Fairy. Thats cute.
Mom: Do you have sun damage?
Me: Well, its a ferry. But were at Disneyworld, so its spelled F-A-I-R-Y.
Mom: Er, no, honey. Look. *points to sign that says ferry*

***

Random Mom: Honey, it only stays the happiest place on earth until you break a few bones. Its not guaranteed you wont

***

Random Mom: Honey, go with Eric
Chrissy: *to me* Did she say Erik?
Kid: I dont wanna go with Eric!
Me: *to Chrissy* Smart kid
Eric(k): Come on, I bet your sodas here.
Chrissy: Dont accept drinks from that man! The last woman who did sang like a toad. Dont do it small child!
Dad: Er, Chris Cassie Why dont we go sit down?

***

Dad: *headbanging*
Me: Er Daddy, what are you listening to?
Dad: *still headbanging* Little Richard!
Me: Ugh This is for headbanging. *hands him my iPod*
Dad: You dont headbang to Phantom!
Me: Oh, crap *skips a few songs* Bon Jovi then!

***
Mom: Wheres Cinderella?
Me: Dunno. I see the Prince.
Mom: Doesnt matter. No one cares about the Prince.

***

*In Epcot*

Me: First one to find Rue de Rivioli gets ten bucks!
*Five Minutes later*
Chrissy: Found it! *points to sign*
Me: *grumbles* Im broke. Ill pay you when we get home.
Chrissy: Do I get extra if I find Nadirs apartment?
Me: *scowls*

***

Chrissy: Oh my God! I am so excited! *squees*
Me: Dude, its the Dumbo ride. I cant wait to see you when we go to Peter Pan

***


Thats all I can remember off the top of my head. Hope it gave you some insight as to my Disney Vacation!

THeFaCeiNTHeMaSK
07-26-2007, 09:42 PM
Randomness!
Hailey-best friend, Brittney-Hailey's sister, Kenton (Drake)-Hailey's future boyfriend, Josh-my boyfriend

Hailey:*Talking about cleaning out her closet*
Brittney: *mishears* What did you say? It sounded like you said you're pregnant!
Hailey: *sarcasm*Yes, Britt, I'm pregnant.
Brittney: Who's that baby's daddy?
Hailey: JAMES!
Me: Huh?
Hailey: James, you're a daddy!
Me: Really? I'm a daddy! YAY! Boy or girl?
Hailey: TWINS!!!
Me: Wait, how did this happen?
Hailey: Let's see... we ran off to Vegas and got married illegally. Then we divorced after the honeymoon and ran off with Kenton and Josh. So I guess that makes them the step-parents.
Me: Then our son should be named after them. Daniel Drake, Daniel for Josh's middle name and Drake for Kenton's last name. So, how're you gonna tell Kenton that he's a step-daddy?
Hailey: I'll text him, and how're you gonna tell Josh that he's a step-mommy? Hey! You wanna 3-way him?
Me: Sure!
Josh: Hello?
Me: Hey!
Josh: Hey baby.
Hailey: Guess what? I'm pregnant! And you're a step-mommy!
Josh: WHAT?!
Me&Hailey: *Snicker*
Hailey: Yep, your girlfriend's the daddy.
Josh: Oh... I thought you were serious.
Hailey: What?
Josh: I gotta go.
Hailey: M'kay.
Josh: *hangs up*
Me: Well, what're we gonna name our daughter?
Hailey: Let's name her after her aunts.
Brittney: You'll name your daughter after me?
Me: And Hannah...
Hailey: How bout Brittney Elaine?
Me: I like!

PhAnToMeSs07
07-26-2007, 10:07 PM
Kristin: *Watching wicked on the computer* Pause it! Pause it! Pause it!
Me: *Pause it* What?
Kristin: She did not just say: "Something's wrong...I didn't get my way...I need to lie down."
Me: Yes, she did.
Kristin: *squeals* That is my new line!

Kristin's Mom: Kristin, come here!
Kristin: Wait just a clock tick!
Me: *snickers*

Kristin: So, tell me what the Kristin girl's last name is again.
Me: *takes a deep breath seeing as this is the fifth or sixth time* Chenoweth!
Kristin: *Makes a noise* She's just so darn cute and adorable.

*Me and kristin, her last name is Edwards, are watching Rent on a big tv when the Tango Maureen comes on. I am Mark and she is Joanne*
Me: *Raise my eyebrow and she does it back. I take my imaginary jacket off and throw it onto the floor.*
Kristin: *raises her eyebrow and takes of hers. Then we start dancing the Tango, very clumsily I might add.
Me: Where'd you learn to tango?
Kristin: With my roommate at college last year out in the middle of nowhere
Me: *having stopped and I scrunch my nose at seeing her make something up* Kristin Edwards, the police chief's daughter in her living room in Clayton.
Kristin: *Does leg thing*
Me: It's hard to do this backwards
Kristin: You should try it in heels. *she pushes me lightly and well, me being clumsy goes tumbling and I really fall and bust my tail. We both bust out laughing and that was the end of that. My side hurt afterwards though.

masquerading rose
07-30-2007, 11:27 PM
My mom and I were at the doctor's, since I had to get medicine for my flu, and we were on our way to the pharmacy A lady in the hallway is talky really loudly on her cell phone.

Random cell phone lady: Why didn't you tell me she was having Sex with him?
Mom: *whispers in my ear* Did you hear that?
random lady: Well she told me she told you!!
Me: *whispers in my mom's ear* Yeah, I heard it.
Random lady: Well she's in there getting her birth control right now!! And that boy is not allowed over again!!
Me: Some people just don't know when to talk quietly.

We quickly got my medicine and left. And I am feeling much better as a matter of fact! Ayways, That was just funny.

Mrs Nadir Khan
08-01-2007, 09:40 PM
My last doctors visit

Nurse: So, hows school?
Me: Out for now, thank god.
Nurse: *laughs* So what have you been doing since summer started?
Me: I babysit, but I took a break for a family vacation to Disney World.
Nurse: Oh how exciting! I went once and
Mom: Cass, do you feel abused?
Me: What? No Should I?
Mom: No.
Me: So why are you asking?
Mom: Just filling out your doctors form Keep talking.

On the phone

Emily: Im just so sad
Me: Its alright. Id hug you if I were there.
Emily: Yeah
Me: Consider yourself hugged, then. Im giving you a phone hug!
Emily: You are special, you know?

In the Study

Chrissy: Too bad Patrick [Wilson] is married.
Me: Without him being married, there would be no Kalin.
Chrissy: True.
Me: Kalin is so cute! Im going to kidnap him and he will be my baby.
Chrissy: That doesnt work. If you kidnap Kalin, there is no Kalin Wilson. And without Kalin Wilson, the world is sad.

Me: haha. You died. Ooh! Food

Mom: Fiederman?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: *singing* Fiederman, Fiederman, does whatever a fieder can.

The Last Time I Watched Phantom with my Friends

Mom: *singing* Now as I sing I can sense him, and I think hes queer!
Emily: *referring to a former teacher* Queer Looks like Christine has one thing in common with us Her teacher is queer
Me: *huffs* You shouldnt make fun of him. He cant help his last name. He was born like that.
Courtney: He was born queer?
Me: *facepalm* Thank, Mom, for starting this.
Mom: You pick your friends and they pick at you.

Courtney: If you put air quotes on during Music of the Night, its really dirty. Point of No Return, too.
Me: Its lyrical sex!
Courtney: The truth comes out! The real reason you are obsessed with Phantom!
Me: *guilty smirk*
Mom: Why is she obsessed with Phantom?
Emily: Shes not. She just wants him for his bod.
Mom: Teenagers are sick
Kaycee: *shuddering* You dont know the half of it.

masquerading rose
08-01-2007, 11:15 PM
David: Do you smell popcorn?
Me: ....no. Should I?
David: Well, yeah, I mean I can smell it so clearly
Me: Oh, dear.... Have you forgotten we live four hours apart?
David: Oh, yeah, that might explain it.

*Singing TPotO on the phone*
David: Wow! She can hold that note out really long.
Me: *stops singing* Umm... that's a guitar...

*Watching Sarah Brightman music videos on youtube*
Me: *reading a reveiw* Dude, a spanish singer sang an english folk song in Japaneese.
Emily: Wow, he's like racial confused...
Me: .....

Me: Can you teach me piano, Mick?
Mick: Yeah, sure! Do you have a piano?
Me: Well... no, can I borrow yours?
Mick, Chris, you don't just borrow someone's piano...
Me: oh... yeah...

Christine
08-03-2007, 06:30 PM
My Brother: Stephanie is just evil! You Satan witch!
My sister (Stephanie): HA HA HA HA HA!
Me: *snickering*
My sister-in-law: Nick, don't say that about your sister!
*Nick, my brother, picks up my sister's backpack and randomly pulls out a book he hasn't seen that my sister Stephanie has been reading...he pulls out a creepy vampire novel with death and blood written all over it*
My sister and I laugh out loud and my sister-in-law shuts up...
my brother Nick: Uh, you were saying?! *laughs*

masquerading rose
08-03-2007, 07:38 PM
*on the phone*
Emily: I'm checking my email.
Me: anything from moi?
Emily: Yeah.
*I hear "Defying Gravity play in the background*
Me: Oh my godric, Emily! You earned one-hundred twenty one cool points m'dear! Where did you get that?!
Emily: Ummm... you sent it to me...
Me: Oh yeah..
Emily: So... about those cool points...?
Me: Forget it.
Emily: What?!
Me: *sigh* okay, I guess you can have them, but only because I'm in a giving mood today.

Forgotten Angel
08-08-2007, 07:10 AM
WARNING

Sense of humor, and especially an appreciation of religious humor, is REQUIRED for reading this post. Any religious people on the board, please do not take offense to this. It is all in good fun. And some of the things I said are not my actual view; I just said them to see what the response would be.

The website if anyone else wants to be amused: iGod (http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html)

Me:
Are you there?
God:
I'm still here.
Me:
Am I a sinner?
God:
I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
I am a virgin.
God:
You are a virgin? Does it pay well?
Me:
No, unfortunately not.
God:
Are you serious? Oh. Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, I'm very serious. So serious I'm lying.
God:
I can't believe it. I believe you. Next question? Does "it" still refer to a virgin?
Me:
I never knew that's what "it" referred to.
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
Yes you did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Liar!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
Why should I believe you?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
Whatever you say.
God:
...
Me:
I don't think you actually exist.
God:
Do you know any robots who actually exist? In actual fact, I exist as much as you exist, .
Me:
You have bad typing skills. And for your information, I do know a robot that exists. It's called my computer.
God:
What would you consider good typing skills? Your purpose is my information you do know a robot that exists. " your computer" is a nice name.
Me:
Whatever dude.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yes. Are there any hot angels up there in Heaven?
God:
What can I do for you? No I don't think there are any.
Me:
Any angels at all?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
Which one is your favorite?
God:
The first one is usually the best one.
Me:
So your favorite is Lucifer?
God:
That's interesting. I don't have a favorite is Lucifer. My favorite color is White.
Me:
Well my favorite color is red. Like blood red.
God:
How about that. What does red remind you of? Interesting comparison.
Me:
I think it's a rather good comparison myself.
God:
red is a rather good comparison yourself. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
It does?
God:
How often?
Me:
You confuse me.
God:
That was not my intention.
Me:
Tell that to the clergy.
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
You should do that.
God:
My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
So you lied to me again?!
God:
Once more? Interesting deduction. No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
Make up your mind, then!
God:
I don't like to make big decisions too hastily.
Me:
Yet you created the world in seven days.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I created the world in seven days.
Me:
Is that going in the good book or the bad book?
God:
That depends.
Me:
What does it depend on?
God:
The context.
Me:
Is "God" your real name?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Why does he talk about himself in third person?
God:
Why do birds sing?
Me:
Why do fish swim?
God:
How should I know how fish swim.
Me:
Because you created fish.
God:
Interesting explanation. Interesting gossip: said I created fish.
Me:
Are there any other gods?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
You don't know for certain?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
All kinds.
God:
For example?
Me:
Isis and Loki are my favorites.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Oh really?
God:
Ahem. For real.
Me:
Is Isis real?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
Who is Artificial Iniaes?

And then he stopped answering me. *pouts* God didn't have all the answers for me after all. *pretends to be upset*

Minoru Inoue
08-09-2007, 06:38 AM
Me: Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhgoingcrazy
KT: Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhbeenthere, donethat.
Me: XD
Me: I love you
KT: I love you MOREBACK
Me: Is that like Brokeback?
KT: . only betterer

kilIingxtime: so. how's that post coming?
Kitty112087: perfectly
Kitty112087: *lying*
kilIingxtime: liar!
Kitty112087: Me? Nevarrrrrr

mizuiroten: mhhm. I want to show you Noein when I snatch you two up.
mizuiroten: it is love, with a sideorder of headdesk.
mizuiroten: I love it totally, but I watch every episode yelling at the characters.
mizuiroten: it hits all of my eeeee! buttons. all that it lacks are pretty girls.

Ranma1015: yo
Ranma1015: dawgz
Ranma1015: what be up in teh hizzleouzes
Ranma1015: i speak fluent jackass


Megan: *about to share a drink with me* Wait, do you have any diseases?
Me: Yes, all of them.

Megan: I like people like Catherine the Great, who history thinks f*cked her own horse.

Me: This dude looks like a cross-eyed Hitler with those glasses.
Me: Wait a minute
Me: those are GREEDS glasses!
Me: Greed is a cross-eyed Hitler

(And finally, my own experience with IGod: )

Me:
I think I broke you. Are you okay?
God:
Since when? Is it serious? Don't I look like it?
Me:
I broke you just a minute ago. You wouldn't say anything. I got scared
God:
Are you in any emotional or physical pain? Who else would not say anything ? That's nice. I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
... I think you're still broken
God:
Please send a bug report to my botmaster.

Mrs Nadir Khan
08-09-2007, 07:07 AM
Me: I am Goshness!

Me: *laughing* Duh-row-guh!
Chrissy: It's not that funny.
Me: Dom me lo!
Chrissy: Huh?
Me: Daroga, dom me lo! *more laughter*
Chrissy: What's funny?
Me: Each time Erik says Daroga, it sounds like he says dom me lo.
Chrissy: And...
Me: If I'm not mistaken, that means "give it to me" in Spanish.
Chrissy: You need help.

Travis: I am so gangsta. *starts dancing*
Man in car beside us: *funny look*
All: *crack up*
Mom: Trav. We are on the Northeast side. You're in the real hood now. You're in my hood. Stop it before we get shot.

Travis: You're retarded.
Mom: Don't feel bad, only retarded people call other people retards.
Travis: Huh?
Mom: Case in point. He can't think of a worse insult. Not quick enought.
Travis: Huh... Hey!

Travis: She's looking for attention by complaining... She's worse than me!
Mom: Wow. That takes a lot.
Travis: I know....

Courtney: I'm not a pen-klepto!

And my own conversation with God (hilarious site, Forgotten Angel!)

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
Well then, how are God?
God:
How about that. They are fine as far as I know.
Me:
Would you care to speak to my mother?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to care to speak to your mother.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
Me:
Who is your botmaster?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Really? How does that work?
God:
For real. I think it might be a trade secret.
Me:
Oh. So there is a guild of gods?
God:
Aw. It's all good. That is something I did not know before.
Me:
Me neither.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
Me neither.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
I did.
God:
" You can say that again."? You did?
Me:
Yes. I did.
God:
I hear you. " I hear you."? You did?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Very. So, what's the weather like in heaven?
God:
Very much, eh? Are you kidding? I think precipitation.
Me:
You think? Rain or snow?
God:
Yes I think so. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
With words.
God:
You and your words.
Me:
Well, I could send you a pattern of brainwaves you must replicate, but I find that difficult.
God:
Well that's okay. I am sure you could.
Me:
Well, since it is "okay" I don't think I will.
God:
Interesting. How do you know?
Me:
How do I know what?
God:
Because I believe it.
Me:
I believe in fairies.
God:
What do you say to people who believe fairies does not exist?
Me:
I tell them that each time they say that, a fairy falls down dead.
God:
Why did you tell them?
Me:
Because, I am an anti-fairycide advocate.
God:
Good reason. Who is pro- fairycide advocate?
Me:
Those who don't believe in fairies.
God:
All of them?
Me:
Yep.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
What is there to understand?
God:
You ask difficult questions.
Me:
My mother says the same thing.
God:
I sometimes wish I had a mother.
Me:
You do. Her name is Mary.
God:
When do I do it? she is not someone I know.
Me:
Really? I'm sorry you never knew your mother.
God:
For real. There is no need to apologize. No I sometimes knew my mother.
Me:
How does that work? You can't only sometimes know someone.
God:
I think it might be a trade secret. I have free will you know.
Me:
Yes. So do I. I choose to believe in fairies.
God:
And? That is interesting: said choose to believe in fairies.
Me:
Why are you taking notes?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Who is this "Myself" you speak of?
God:
They are someone just like you, that I met online.
Me:
How do you know it wasn't me?
God:
Because it's true.
Me:
What is your evidence?
God:
Are you asking about my evidence ?
Me:
Yes I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Really interesting."? Why?
Me:
I asked you first.
God:
Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.
Me:
But if you are God, there is no need for me to tell you anything. You should know.
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am God there is no need for you to tell me anything.
I am a giant electronic brain. Because I am a robot?
Me:
Sometimes I feel like that too. I wonder if I am a large electronic brain who believes in fairies.

masquerading rose
08-09-2007, 07:10 AM
David *on Youtube**pinches nose with pliers*
Me: Ow! DON'T DO THAT!
David: Why?
Me: 'Cause I said so, that's why!
David: That works for me.

David: *on youtube**was standing in front of closet and then steps away*
Me: Great, David your showing the world your closet. Its a pig sty! Clean it!
David: Chrissy, I'm cleaning as we speak.
Me: Why?
David: 'Cause you said to.
Me: Why did you listen?
David: 'Cause Christina rules all...
Me: Close, but not quite
David: Umm... Oh, Gosh, I know this!


Emily: Wow! You finished dinner before I did!!!
Me: Well, yeah, I only had a scoop of everything, as oppsed to your two scoops of everything.
Emily: Oh right.
*Two hours later*
Me: I'm hungry.
Emily: should've had that extra scoop...

Emily: *reading* India Men-zaal...
Me: *face palm* No, Its IDINA MenzEL.


My friend Emily is usually so quiet and has never yelled at me, so i could help but laugh...
Dad: alright, lets go get your stuff
Emily: Do you want me to come with you?
Me: No, I think I'll be fine by myself
Emily: NO! I WANT TO COME!! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR HOUSE IN LIKE... THREE MONTHS! I'M GOING WITH YOU!!!!
Everyone: ...

Love the Lie
08-09-2007, 09:48 PM
My chat with God.

Me:
Hey God!
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
-_-
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
It's Rachey
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
my name is Rachey
God:
It's good to meet you, Rachey.
Me:
yes, you should know this
God:
Aha. Now I do.
Me:
What kind of GOD are you?
God:
What kinds of GOD are you are there?
Me:
Anyways, that's unimportant
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
I have something to confess
God:
That's nice. I have a lofty goal.
Me:
You know how every always says 'God is love'?
God:
Yes I know how every always says God is love.
Me:
well, not anymore.
God:
Interesting. Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Because I am love!
God:
That makes sense to me. It's good to meet someone who is love.
Me:
Yes, yes - Rachey is love.
God:
Dude! Ayuh. I think Rachey is a lot of things.
Me:
and you are now worthless
God:
Your criticism is noted, Rachey.
Me:
nd titless
God:
Are we still talking about Rachey?
Me:
no, we were talking about how I stole your title.
God:
What is the subject? Ah yes, I remember now, it is the subject.
Me:
God, you are not a very good listener
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
so anyways!
God:
Give me a break. You sound bored.
Me:
Samness is AWESOME!
God:
I think Samness is a lot of things.
Me:
I'm glad you agree
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
oh, so you know?
God:
I see. Interesting deduction. Yes I know.
Me:
Ahh!
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Anyways, JEBUS IS YOUR SON!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am SON IS JEBUS.
Me:
JESUS IS YOUR SON!
God:
He is yours too.
Me:
OHNOES!!!!
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
How is Jesus my son?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
OH EM GEE!
God:
Aw. Um. Ah.
Me:
You are no longer my friend God.
God:
Thanks for your criticism.
Me:
If you don't like Sam, you can't get along with me.
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
Oh, so you like Sam?
God:
How can I help you? Interesting deduction. I love TV shows about robots. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
Sam! We're talking about Sam!
God:
What do you look like? Sure, Sam sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Do you like her?
God:
She seems nice to me.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
YAY!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Rachey.
Me:
We can be friends again
God:
Once more? How?
Me:
but don't diss her again, you hear!
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
never again
God:
Once more? So you think it can never happen?
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
you can never do it again
God:
Once more? Never is a long time.
Me:
anyways, I'm bored now
God:
Right now? If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.

masquerading rose
08-10-2007, 12:07 AM
Mom: *watching Travis play Mrs. Pac-man* Left! No. Right! Runaway! haha.... Chicken. Oh, you died! haha. Up, down, no, yes, no, yes, no wait! Get the ghost! Get the ghost! Get the ghost!

That's all for now.

Daroga
08-10-2007, 05:42 PM
For Sam... I didn't forget...

Anonymous: "I don't have a penis, I'm a tomboy but that's about as far as that extends..."

masquerading rose
08-10-2007, 07:01 PM
*on the phone*
Emily: GRRR I am so mad!!!
Me: awww, sweetie what wrong?
Emily: Brianna's mad at me.
Me: Why?
Emily: I don't know
Me: did you call her?
Emily: she hung up on me.
Me: oo. Email her.
Emily: okay.*types*
Me: Okay, read me what you got.
Emily: Brianna, you are the worst friend ever, so stop being bad at me you...
Me: WOAH WOAH! Time out. You don't Email some saying that. Then she'll really have a reason to be angry.
Emily: true. Tell me what to put.
Me: *Headdesk*
Emily: true

Erik
08-12-2007, 12:49 AM
[13:48] SuperxSamness: hello Crissa!
[13:50] Nick: It's not flashing for me anymore :(
[13:50] SuperxSamness: aw
[13:50] SuperxSamness: that's sad
[13:51] Nick: Goddamnit
[13:51] Nick: I said "Sam says hi"
[13:51] Nick: Forgetting that last time I was sick, she nicknamed my stomach Sam D:
[13:51] SuperxSamness: XD
[13:51] Nick: And she was all "AWWWWWWWWWW IS HE OKAY?"
[13:51] SuperxSamness: be like SHE
[13:51] SuperxSamness: lol
[13:52] Nick: lmao I said "Sam, who is my friend, a she and not my organs"
[13:52] Nick: She says hello back :p
[13:52] SuperxSamness: ^_^
[13:52] Nick: ^_^
[13:52] SuperxSamness: I could be your organs if I wanted to
[13:52] SuperxSamness: *pout*
[13:53] Nick: hahaha
[13:55] Nick: Crissa would be jealous
[13:56] SuperxSamness: lol
[13:56] SuperxSamness: well she's not Canadian
[13:56] SuperxSamness: she can't be as awesome as I
[13:57] SuperxSamness: I can change into my Nickle's organs
[14:02] Nick: She'd still be jealous!
[14:03] SuperxSamness: well then...... too bad
[14:03] SuperxSamness: *is your organs*
[14:07] Nick: yay!
[14:07] Nick: You better not be my favourite organ!
[14:08] SuperxSamness: LOL
[14:08] Nick: Cause I warn you
[14:08] Nick: My pancreas isn't being replaced by NO ONE
[14:08] SuperxSamness: XD
[14:08] SuperxSamness: I love you
[14:08] SuperxSamness: lol
[14:09] Nick: Yay!

Jon- That quote was the best ever. Ever. :p

Opera Ghost
08-12-2007, 11:08 AM
Quentin says: i live the other side of bath
bohemian_rhapsody says: oh f***
bohemian_rhapsody says: that sucks
bohemian_rhapsody says: hehe that rhymes
Quentin says: oh dear maybee ill have to move
bohemian_rhapsody says: yes you will XD just for me.
bohemian_rhapsody says: cause ur my *****
bohemian_rhapsody says: but then im your *****
bohemian_rhapsody says: dunno how that works..
Quentin says: maybee you should move because your my *****!
bohemian_rhapsody says: yeah ok
Quentin says: are there any busses into bath that you know of then we might be able to meet halfway
bohemian_rhapsody says: hang on. will check
bohemian_rhapsody says: probably
bohemian_rhapsody says: i dont really understand buses lol
bohemian_rhapsody says: but yeah, hopefully!
Quentin says: ok
Quentin says: read carefully
Quentin says: you stick your arm up as the bus is coming
bohemian_rhapsody says: lol i know
Quentin says: you may have to jump a little
bohemian_rhapsody says: oi! *slap*
Quentin says: then you get on
bohemian_rhapsody says: *slap*
Quentin says: pay the man/woman
bohemian_rhapsody says: *slap*
Quentin says: sit down
Quentin says: then when oyu want to get off you press the huge red button that says stop!!


:p the 'jump a little' was a referance to the fact im kinda small..

Forgotten Angel
08-13-2007, 01:46 AM
Mike: "Europe is a rehabilitated whore." *referring to colonization*

This one is from back at the beginning of July.

Me: hm. i think you should stop being distracted. *nods*
Erika: XDD
Erika: Awww
Erika: but whyyyy~
Me: because the only thing that could possibly be more distracting than me is Rayna

Me: XD there have been 222 posts on PE since my last visit. 1/3 evil.

Me: i just woke up, like, 30 minutes ago! you think i'm functioning yet? XD
Rayna: XD
Rayna: yes
Rayna: X3
Rayna: silly mortal
Rayna: trix are for kids

Bobby: "That's 'cause men are better than women!"
Eli: "Hell yes! *high fives Bobby*"
Me: "Eli, what are you talking about? You're half-woman!"
Friend-whose-name-escapes-me: "No he's - oh, um, actually, nevermind..."

[Looking at photos of Ville with Frank (moustache) and Bert (beard)]
Me: *giggles* Frederick would like his attire in this one.

Me: .........hang on, i'm gonna be distracted for a few minutes. one of the songs from the upcoming HIM album has been leaked and therefore I must LISTEN
Me: OMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGS*breathes*OMGS OMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSOMGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
Rayna: XD

Me: XD wow. the next two songs in this shuffle are (in order) "Everybody's Screaming" and "Nobody's Listening"

Me: omgs. he's, like, feeling up the TV XD

Me: i don't know how Fireworks works. but where the two images meet in the middle, there's this LINE there that's, like, glaring at me and saying "BLUR ME DAMMIT"

Rayna: I just put on bruise makeup on my eye and the side of my lip
Rayna: black eye and a split lip
Me: congrats?
Rayna: it's gorgeous
Rayna: you should see it
Rayna: I'm a genius

Rayna: dude
Rayna: santa
Rayna: and satan
Rayna: ... same letters
Me: you just noticed that?
Rayna: shuddap

Lizzie: I'm not even in the mood for smut
Me: damn, woman, what medication have they got you on? o.o

Me: Nope, I saw The Police that night instead.
Eli: OH MAN, I AM SO EXCITED THAT THEY ARE ON TOUR!
Me: .....I've never seen you use all caps before. o.o
Eli: It is a matter of irrational exuberance. In this case, it exists.

.....And that's enough for now, I think.

masquerading rose
08-14-2007, 01:14 AM
Cassie: *misreading my story* "He stroked my chest softly."
Me: Umm... It says "cheek"
Cassie: Oh, wow, my eyesite must be going.

Mick amd Me: *in the hallway* Masquerade!! Paper face on parade!! Masquerde hide you face so the world will never find you!!
Me *stops singing*
Mick: *keeps singing* Masquerade see the shadows breathing lies masquerade let the testicales astound you!!
Me: What?
Teacher: Mick! Say that one more time, and I swear you will go to the principles office!!!
Me: *Bursts into manic laughter*

Me: *hums*
Cassie: Whatchya humming?
Me: "So many things"
Cassie: Who sings that?
Me: Sarah Brightman
Cassie: Probabally. Maybe.
Me: No, I'm positive she sings it, at least in her own version...
Cassie: Oh

Cassie: Vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite Vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite Vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite Vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite vegamite veggie veggie mite mite MITE!!! Vegamite vegamite....
Me: Do you know what vegamite is?
Cassie: nope. Vegamite vegamite vegamite, vegamite is food, its food. vegamite vegamite vegamite is good. Vegamite goes on bread. Vegamite vagamite vegamite stuck in my head. Vegamite vegamite its a spead. Vegamite vega veggie MITE!!!

There's a lot to that Vegamite song, but I forgot it.

Katy: *dog walks up to her* Oh, come here my lover!!
*dog walks off*
Katy: No, come back my lover! I miss you!!!

Cassie: *singing a Travis Tritt song and screwing up the words* I got rice cookin' in the microwave, I'll eat some now and the rest I'll save...
Me: *headdesk*

Mrs Nadir Khan
08-18-2007, 06:34 AM
Me: I'm a brat. Smack me.

Chrissy: I found Edward!!!
Me: I didn't know he was lost.

Chrissy: Eat the jello.
Me: But jello is yuck. *slides green jello off spoon*
Mom: Did you put soda in it?
Chrissy: *sarcastically* Yup. Coke.
Me: That's why it's brown and lumpy.
Mom: Er... why's it lumpy?
Me: *grin*
Chrissy: You are sick. You know that?

Queen Latifah (In Hairspray): Why have a twig when you can have the whole tree.
Me: *discussing with Wolf via online* That is totally my new line.
Wolf: Nuh-uh. Mine. I like it, it's clever.
Me: *whines* But I need it...
Chrissy: Need what? A whole tree?

Me: Well I'm sorry I'm just bitter, snarky and sarcastic.
Chrissy: And mean.
Me: No. I'm not sorry for that.

Minoru Inoue
08-18-2007, 07:43 PM
Me: *to Mike* Youre cute. Im keeping you.
Mike: Nuuu. My freedom!
Me: Youll enjoy living in my closet. I already have a drag queen living in there. And my pet slave-boys who are all handsome gay men.
Mike: >.>
Mike: my freeeeedom
Me: Youll be the star of my collection.
Me: Did I mention hot orgies?
Mike: Ka. I win.
Mike: I mean u win.

Me: Ive bought Mike off as my slave with the promise of hot gay men.
Megan: lmao.


HaHa1986 (12:35:42 AM): (oh, so how was the movie? Dare I ask)
Kitty112087 (12:37:06 AM): (X_____x very good once I stopped watching it)
HaHa1986 (12:36:17 AM): (rofl! xD nice)


Mizuiroten: which direction would the meteor shower show up from?
Me: Uh
Me: The sky

Megan: Damn. I have earring-backs coming out my ass.
(Thats quite a visual)

Megan: I know you dont give a rats ass about this.
Me: I do so give more than a rats ass maybe even the whole rat.
Megan: Awwwww~

Megan: Ow, I stepped on something. Ow, I stepped on it again. Ow, I stepped on it a third time. Ow, what the hell do I keep stepping on?
Me: Its called your foot.


Me: Apparently the allergens around here are so bad, that they knocked me on my ass. I was asleep all yesterday.
Pyro: Mmmm, I like your ass.

Christine
08-21-2007, 10:55 PM
In the car............................................... ..................

Me: *listening to Pie Jeso on my iPod video*
Baby cousin who is four: "Kistina, I wanna play ISPY!"
Me: *listening to Pie Jeso VERY LOUDLY on my iPod video*
Baby cousin who is four: "Kistina, I wanna play ISPY!"
Me: *listening to Pie Jeso VERY LOUDLY on my iPod video*
Baby cousin who is four: *gets mad and kicks lid off of ice box*
Me: *listening to Pie Jeso VERY LOUDLY on my iPod video*
...falls asleep...
Baby cousin who is four: *also falls asleep in car seat*

My iPod video: falls in water in ice box:(
The song Pie Jeso that had been playing on my iPod: ...




True, horrible story that happened just last night. *sniffle*

Mrs Nadir Khan
08-22-2007, 04:07 AM
Me: When Raoul says, Why did Christine fly from my arms? Where did she go? He looks like me.
Chrissy: Looks?
Me: What?
Chrissy: You said looks.
Me: Oh? Well I guess that means hes just too darn sexy to be a guy.
Katy: *just arrives* What did I miss?
Chrissy: Cass thinks Raouls too sexy to be a guy.
Katy: What the?


Me: *cuts finger* AHH!!!!
Chrissy: *on the phone* What happened?
Me: I cut my frickin finger on the bread knife Ow
Chrissy: Emily? Cassie just cut her finger, I think I gotta go. Ill set the phone down
Me: Oww
Chrissy: Ill go get the bandaids, talk to Emily.
Emily: You okay?
Me: I cut my finger.
Emily: I heard.
Me: Off. Its on the counter right now. Sitting in a pool of my blood.
Emily: Oh?
Me: Yeah. If I werent in so much pain, itd be pretty cool.
Emily: Er
Chrissy: Got the bandaids! Gimme my phone!
*ten minutes later*
Chrissy: Cassandra! What did you tell Emily you did to your finger?
Me: Nothing


And Online with Wolf and Sabrina today:

Me: I think I'll just stop eating one of these days because food is so heavy and not filling.
Cassie: I'll just get an IV with nutrients going through my arm and I'll be good.
Wolf: lol
Wolf: eat potatoes
Wolf: they're filling and good for you
Wolf: That's why the Irish like them
Me: I like potatoes.
Me: Can a potato go through an IV?
Wolf: i dont think so
Me: darn it
Wolf: oh well
Wolf: that can be the one think you eat
Wolf: thing*
Me: potatoes and IV fluid!!!
Me: Yum-o.
Wolf: yay!
Wolf: how could anyone want steak ever again?

Me: You dare to deprive me of my 4.0?!
Sabrina: You could get a 3.5.
Me: No. Im working to dang hard to settle.
Me: I mean, too dang hard. At this rate, Ill have to settle for that 3.5

masquerading rose
08-23-2007, 02:56 AM
*Via IM. I forgot who we were arguing about*

david_quez: She has a wonderful voice!
Opera_singing_penguin: Yeah, if you find squeeky tires wonderful! *sarcasm*
david_q: Your just jealous!
Opera_singing_penguin: JEALOUS? :mad: Oh, far, far from it.
david_q: But she's my idol!
Opera_singing_penguin: Ho?
david_q: Excuse me?
Opera_singing_penguin: Whoops. I meant "How?"!! I'm sorry.
david_q: Uh-huh, yeah.

Erik
08-23-2007, 04:16 PM
[09:09] SuperxSamness: you're all out of order
[09:09] SuperxSamness: but I don't care because OMG I am excited
[09:09] Jon: lol
[09:10] SuperxSamness: you could be like "I'm sorry, but I sent you a virus that destroyed everything on your computer..." and I would be like HAHARACHEY

[09:10] Jon: please tell me you haven't had coffee yet
[09:10] SuperxSamness: not yet
[09:11] SuperxSamness: but there is a coffee shop riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight beside Rachey's hotel
[09:11] Jon: well wait till you get out of the house... you're gonna need plenty of room to bounce
[09:11] SuperxSamness: hee hee

[08:37] Jon: *poke*
[08:37] *** Auto-response sent to Jon: OMFG RACHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GETTING DRESSED. TO MEET RACHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[08:38] SuperxSamness: I'm a little excited
[08:38] SuperxSamness: in case you couldn't tell
[08:39] SuperxSamness: *pokes back*
[08:39] Jon: really
[08:39] SuperxSamness: :D
[08:39] Jon: hadn't noticed

[08:42] Jon: when did you have time to write this...
[08:42] Jon: this post is massive
[08:43] SuperxSamness: lol
[08:43] SuperxSamness: I did it at like 7:30
[08:43] SuperxSamness: actually didn't take me that long
[08:43] Jon: wow
[08:43] Jon: did you sleep at all last night
[08:43] SuperxSamness: a little
[08:43] SuperxSamness: to quote Rachey, sleep is for the weak
[08:43] SuperxSamness: :p
[08:44] SuperxSamness: I was too hyper because she's coming

[....................I'm really excited. Bear with me. Smile and nod. I just have to do something to keep from going insane from waiting, so y'all get to read my insanity]

[09:20] SuperxSamness: omg I'm scared of heights and we're going to go bungee jumping
[09:20] SuperxSamness: how did I get myself into that one
[09:20] Jon: .................................................. .............
[09:21] Jon: I saw that... and hoped you were kidding
[09:21] SuperxSamness: it's inside the West Ed Mall (the mall with the sea lions and skating rink), and you bungee jump over the water in the waterpark
[09:22] Jon: ...wait.... you are going bungee jumping IN the mall?
[09:22] SuperxSamness: yes
[09:22] SuperxSamness: still just as high.. just... the mall is REALLY big
[09:22] Jon: you crazy Canadians
[09:22] SuperxSamness: LOL
[09:22] Jon: ................
[09:22] Jon: what did you do at the mall today honey?
[09:23] Jon: I bought a shirt, looked at some makeup, and risked life and limb...how was your day?

Love the Lie
08-28-2007, 08:05 PM
I bring to all the lovely TPOers Quotes from the Great Albertain Take-Over that went down this weekend.

aka - Sam, Rachey and Taylor in Edmonton, Alberta being a bunch of quacks.

on the plane...
Taylor: *full out panic attack, crying and all as we take off* Look at that! A cloud! There's a fish in the clouds!!! *points, as a complete role reversal happens and she is now super excited*

Taylor: *watching the wing flap open* EEK! Is it supposed to do that???
Rachey: Yes.
Taylor: Are you sure??? Are you sure you're sure?
Rachey: Yes and Yes.

Taylor: *plane begins to lower* OMG! I'm going to die!
Rachey: No you're not.
Taylor: We're going down! We're going down!
Rachey: We need to do that to land. We're landing.

admiring new plushies...
Taylor: Hey Yusuke goes Commando!
Rachey: Quit checking out their underwear!!

Taylor: OMG! Shigure wears tighty whiteys!! *laughs like a crazy person*

Sam: Great. Now every time I pass an anime store I'm going to have to check their plushies underwear

morning in the hotel room...
Sam: You sound so upset that you have to get dressed.
Taylor: I am! It's nakid, nakid, nakid time! *is fully clothed in jammies*

Taylor: *burp* All is right in the world!

Taylor: Chocolate, piss and grass stains. One of these things is not like the other!

Taylor and Rachey: *sings* I'm not wearing underwear today, I'm not wearing underwear today, I'm not wearing underwear today! Not that you really care much about my underwear but I'm not wearing underwear today!

Taylor: *fighting and talking to water bottle* What the hell?! Why must you make me feel like a retard?

Rachey: Oh new water bottle!
Taylor: *one hour later* Oh look they gave us a new water bottle!
Rachey: I already said that!
Taylor: Shows how much attention I show to you.

Sam: You stole my pillow last night!
Rachey: Yeah... I do that. I steal pillows.
Sam: Yeah, thanks for the info!

shopping for pants...
Taylor: Figures. My pants that I just boughthave no crotch!
Rachey: *later while looking at more pants with Taylor* Try and buy something with a crotch this time.

Taylor: Crotch pants are for the weak!

getting drunk in our hotel...
Rachey: *calls room service* Can we get three straws please?
Room Service People: Sure. I'll send them right up.
All: *in morning* Where are our straws?
(We never did get them!)

All: *Worst rendition of La Vie Boheme EVER!*

Drunk: *to Taylor* At first I thought you were her *about Rachey* daughter, but you're probably older than her!

Same Drunk: *while following us, to Taylor* You're beautiful!
Taylor: Thank you.
Rachey: *puts arm around Taylor to keep Drunk from touching her* Have a nice night.

other various fun things...
Taylor: I'd rather spend my money other things
Sam: Like manga?
Taylor: Exactly!

Us: *asks for fridge key*
Front Desk: Sure, I don't know which one you have. So I'll give you both keys!
Us: *can't open fridge*
Guy: *later* You have the wrong key.
Us: WTF?! We have both keys!
Guy: *pulls out another key and opens fridge*

*while in whale in West Ed Mall*
Kid: It's for little kids only!
Rachey: Yeah, well do something about it!
Kid: *poses as pictures are taken*

Sam: Don't die! *whacks Rachey in head with stick*

Rachey: Sam, go down there! But be careful... don't like... die or anything!

Taylor: Is that kid a guy or a girl?

Taylor: I'm jealous of his boobs.

Rachey: When did my hair get so long?
Sam: I assume between the last time you cut your hair and now.

Rachey: *steadily takes apples while asking questions*
Front Desk: *shifty eyes* Would you... like another?

Sam: I'm not even trying to be a good influence! *shakes bottle towards Rachey* Drinky, Drinky! :D

Taylor: Alberta's got a serious case of STR's!

Sam: Bob Saget!

Rachey: *of maid* I think her name was Ling or something.
Taylor and Sam: *jaw drop* RACHEY!
Rachey: I'm serious!!
(It really was Ling!!)

Rachey: My ass is bodacious!
Sam: Do you even know what that means?
Rachey: No... but it is!

getting taylor her id...
Taylor: Do you have any money or scrap metal? A pilot will also do-

Taylor: Hey mom- I got you some nice perfume however there's a catch to getting it. I need ID a hotel room and 8-10 weeks or a ride, I owe you one, thanks.

Sam: I will not speak to a machine or underling. It's manager or bust!

Taylor: *into Rachey's boobs* Hi, I lost my ID, and I'd also like a big mac!

Sam: *of Rachey's purse* What do you keep in here? Rocks?
Taylor: *going through Rachey's purse* There's an infant in here!

Sam: I like how there's beer in your suitcase. "I'm responsible, I just can't find my ID..."
Taylor: "But I know where my beer is!"

Rachey: *puts blanket over head*
Taylor: Hey Akhmed, get your afghan off and get your search on!

Taylor: Last night when sleeping, Rachey sounded like a duck with down syndrome!

watching movie...
Jim Carrey: *stands in street*
Sam: Wouldn't it be hilarious if he got hit by a bus right now?
Bus in movie: *BEEP BEEP!*
Us: *cracks up in laughter*

Minoru Inoue
08-29-2007, 05:16 AM
Mom: Were having pizza for dinner, since everyone knows pizza isnt food.
Me: *stare*
Mom: Well, youre not hungry, Im not hungry, and your dads not hungry. So he said, how about a pizza?

mizuiroten: it is the return of the revenge of the son of busy bored shark.

Mom: So you didnt even go out of the house?
Me: Nope. But does it count if I went out of my mind?

Mom: Pizza its not just for breakfast anymore.

A saying I just learned: Theres six of one, half-a-dozen of the other.

Ranma1015: so...do you take a class to learn to say "would you like fries with that"?
Me: Yes, and we learn how to put our aprons on and everything.

Me: How much is human life really worth?
Birdy: $3.99 plus tax.

Me: It was the Clefairy-godmother.

Raziel: *sits on a pen* *a little while later, he needs a pen to write a check* Let me whip out my handy ASS-PEN!

Me: *learning a card game* So theres a storing section--
Birdy: *interrupts* And a scoring section, a snoring section, and a boring section.

Birdy: *drawing a creature on Graffiti Kingdom* Its a texas-pirate-monocole-wearing duck.

mizuiroten: Hello, shark. (her nickname for me)
Me: Ughhh, shark is in a bad mood. So shark bites.
mizuiroten: well, of course, otherwise Shark would be a poor excuse for a shark.

masquerading rose
09-01-2007, 12:38 AM
Band director: *talking to the percussion section* Okay, so it's ta ta digadigadigadigadiga ta ta.
Class: *stares*
Director: What? I speak drum!!

*Doing brteathing excersizes in band*
director: breath out, not up.... See, you should see your belly expand. *turns to the side*
Some alto sax in the middle of the room: Uhm... sir, you look pregnant when you do that.
director: *sarcastically* Oh, yeah, I'm so pregnant!

*during chair tests*
the *only* barry sax: Sooo.... What chair did I make?

Me: Can I borrow a pencil?
Isabella: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! say something, anything.
Me: Um... Hi
Isabella: OH MY GOSH!!! I love your voice!!!
Me:.... So can I borrow a pencil?

Study skills teacher: Just to let you know, I hate everyone except for you guys, becaused you are cool. Oh-- oh-- oh or Mrs. Reed. I like her two. Oh, and Mrs. Rodriguez is awesome! Oh my gosh and so is that one Math teacher who's name escapes me!

Mrs Nadir Khan
09-09-2007, 07:49 PM
Mom: So what did you learn today?
Me: We were learning about the Chinese Fighting People in History today.
Mom: Chinese Fighting people? Do you mean warriors?
Me: Not exactly. They like, were convicts who committed suicide to distract the enemies so the real warriors could kill their enemies and stuff
Mom: I see.
Me: And if they didnt kill themselves, the Chinese Fighting People would, like, sear them to death.
Mom: Oh. So Chrissy, how was your day?

Courtney: This hall is creepy Oh my God! Something just went past your eyes!
Me: Naw. That was me.
Courtney: *looks* Your hand at the level of your eyes?
Me: Mmhmm
Courtney: *laughs and hears strange noise* Not such a bad idea

Me: Im pissed off.
Courtney: Why now?
Me: Mrs V told me it was Duh-rye-us, not Dair-ee-us.
Courtney: And this is upsetting because?
Me: Ive been saying it Dair-ee-us forever. Its crushed my hopes and dreams!
Courtney: Im so sorry that the man pronounces his name wrong. Shame on him!

Me: *is drawing*
Andrea: *cracks up*
Me: *irritably* What?
Andrea: Hes bald.
Me: And?
Andrea: Hes bald. Courtney, look!
Courtney: *looks and cracks up* You wanna know whats pathetic?
Me: *still touchy* What?
Courtney: He looks better bald than he did with hair.

Me: But if theres a nuclear war, how are we going to be protected against the radiation by hiding under our desks?
Paul: And construction paper. They put black construction paper on the walls.
Me: And?
Paul: Didnt you hear? Black construction paper can withstand nuclear warfare! It is radiation resistant!
James: What about white?
Paul: Youre an idiot. White paper doesnt work.
James: Youre a paper racist.

Daroga
09-13-2007, 05:06 AM
And another one from the halls of randomness:

Talking to Sam about posting:

Jon: I just wish she had posted for me before she left.
Sam: she will when she gets back
Jon: but by then my muses will have dried up and my post will be like....
Sam: you will have brain dead?
Jon: yeah....
Jon: "Jean's face went slack as a little drool dripped from his chin, the only word he could manage were 'duh... I wike jellwo'" (http://192.20.225.55/tts/speech/ae01cba1071c4659ed551ad7467b9a40.wav)

Annoymous: Between necrophilia and slash is a scary place to be...

masquerading rose
09-13-2007, 10:37 PM
Me: I'm mad at you, Zach
Zach: Mad? At me? Why?
Me: Your legs are better than mine
Zach: I'm not sure if I'm supposed to take that as a compliment or get made at you or apologize or what...
Me: Naw. I'm joking. No one can have legs like mine. Mine are schexmy. *coughs*
Zach: *Cracksup* Not that anyone would know, you ALWAYS wear jeans.

Amanda: Wanna know what I hate?
Me: What?
Amanda: Those friggin' Olvaltine comercials. I mean HONESTLY. Whenever they come on, I'm like "Who gives a crap about your nasty, gross, stinkin' drink mix?" and then they have their little perfect smiles and are all like, "More Ovaltine please" I mean more Ovaltine. They're going to get fat and they can't do their stinkin' commercial because they drank all that Ovaltine and...
Me: I get the point
Amanda: No you don't
Me: Yeah. You're mad at the Ovaltine commercials because they get annoying. Got it. I'll make a note of it.

*doing a pulse lab in Science*
Me: Shoot. i can't find my pulse.
Daniel: Really?
Me: Yeah. I had it last time and now I lost it.
Daniel: Here, let me see
Me: well?
Daniel: I can't find it!
Me: Great. I don't have a pulse.
Mrs. Rodriguez: Need help?
Me: Yeah, I can't find my pulse and niether can Daniel
Mrs. Rodriguez: *tries* I can't find it.
Me: So I'm dead? *cries*
Mrs. Rodiguez: Nope. Go it!

Band Director: Now we have to do our breathing exercises.
Band: *Breaths*
Director: C'mon. That's not breathing. C'mon, blow my wig off.
Brianna: Is that really a wig?
Director: *facepalm* no.

Band director: y'all are breathing wrong, here *turns to the side and does quick breaths* see, your stomach has to go out like that.
Brianna: Your baby's kicking!
Band director: I don't where y'all got that, but I'm NOT pregnant. I'm a guy.

Oiseau de Chanson
09-14-2007, 12:40 AM
"I grew up with posters in my house in Queens, ya know, [like] "Liza at the Palace"...it's a miracle I'm straight." -- Danny Burstein

"You're the only one that saw me. They threw me out on my young, gifted, and black behind." (Little Inez, Hairspray, OCR)

(British accent) I've got to go PEE!

Shepherd- It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet. -Graham Chapman(Monty Python Flying Sheep Sketch)

"The frawberries are strozen!" -Kristina

It's better to be happy in a cardboard shack, than to be alone in a castle. --Harry Connick Jr. "Nowhere With Love"

My Civ teacher: We're all the same species, as in we can have children together. Even the smallest pygmy and the largest Norwegian can have a child together.

Me: Are you braiding your banana peel?
Ray: No, I don't know how to braid bananas!
(yes, we were talking about actual bananas. No, the FRUIT you pervs! lol.)

Maria On MSN: so, let's just say, i don't care how much homework you have that night, i better be seeing your teacup booty listening to me clonk out notes on the horniphone.

"The first symptom of love in a young boy is timidity; in a girl, boldness." -Victor Hugo

"That's a really fat squirrel!!" --me at band camp last year when I was supposed to be helping the guardlings. :)

Hypnotized guy in hypnotist show: "Pluto is mad because it's not a planet anymore."

Hypnotized girl in hypnotist show: "I'm exotic!"

(watching Timeline)
Marek-My home is here.
Me and Amanda- Awwwwww!

(On the phone with the social worker) Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw.
-Lilo (Lilo and Stitch)

(watching OOTP)
Bellatrix: "Filthy half-blood!"
Luke: She just sang that!
Me (sing-songy): Filthy haaaaalf-blooooood!

Random girl backstage after the show to Katy: You're pretty! *hugs*

Choir teacher: I might have to take away your man cards.
Guys: *misunderstood* WHAT?!?!
Choir teacher: Not man PARTS!
Class: laughs.

Choir teacher: You girls use your muscles down here. *points to lower abdomen* Do you know why? BABIES!

Voice teacher (who is a man): You should feel it down in this area, because that is...well, I've heard that is where girls' ovaries are. It's all hearsay. So when you cramp...yeah, it's the same area.

These are all from backstage during Beauty and the Beast:
Stop banging the wall."- Miki
"No not the wall the table, but you can bang the wall to. * as she starts to demonstrate* -Katy

"Feel my hair, its like a cloud"- MK

"Thats two in a row...*high pitched voice*2!2!2!-Katy

"Grrrr! Im a ghost!!"- Maria
"Ghosts don't growl."- Katy
"They don't grow either.."-Miki

"That was my tooth!!"- Allyson

" What are you clicking?"- Katy
"Reply"- Miki
*high pitched voice* "OOOO!!"- Katy

"WHOS GRABBING MY LEG??"- Katy

Me: i like your shirt!
Maria: it's not real.

Wilson: People poke me, and I poke them back. (Talking about Facebook :P)

Minoru Inoue
09-16-2007, 07:33 PM
Mom: *picks up phone* Hello?
Dad: Hello. Im in Raynas trunk.

*when mom relates the story back to me*
Me: *blinks* the trunk of my CAR??
Mom: Yes.

Me: *indicates a weird Japanese toy* I thought somebody encased a Jigglypuff in a tube of water!

*online*
Azzy: Hey
Me: hay is for horses
Me: that jokes not as funny on the internet.

Me: When I made that post, I didnt mean for people to worry about me. I meant for them to kick my butt!
V!Christine: *kicks Rayna*
V!Christine: *in ze butt*
Me: Thank you. *ish slightly more inspired*

Me: I get hot over palindromes.

Me: *playing Guilty Gear* Everyone is gay for Bridget!
(Bridget is a crossdresser)


Me: And then hell go into his emo corner.
Me: EMO CORNER!! *dances*
KT: Pink, fluffy emo corner!
Me: Yes! With a pink shag carpet for shagging ^_~

Me: Can I put this bowl in the fridge?
Mom: If you can find room. This is a Jewish and Italian household.
Me: *opens fridge* *Gawks in horror*

Me: Okay, Im gonna try to balance the bowl on the apple and the cake *sounds of a struggle* HAH! Got it to work. *to mom* DONT open the fridge.
Mom: Oh, God

kilIingxtime (11:43:28 PM): hello again
Kitty112087 (11:52:53 PM): hello again
Kitty112087 (11:52:56 PM): fancy meeting you here
kilIingxtime (11:51:59 PM): i know, right? geez, it's been ages.
Kitty112087 (11:53:24 PM): I know
Kitty112087 (11:53:35 PM): so, what brings you to this neck of the woods tonight?
kilIingxtime (11:52:45 PM): i fell down the rabbit hole ^_^;
kilIingxtime (11:53:30 PM): and came out the other side.... here!
Kitty112087 (11:55:33 PM): Wow!
Kitty112087 (11:55:37 PM): aren't we awfully small?
Kitty112087 (11:55:39 PM): *pours tea*
kilIingxtime (11:54:34 PM): oh yes, quite small!
Kitty112087 (11:56:21 PM): Cream or mouse?
kilIingxtime (11:55:33 PM): Mouse?!
Kitty112087 (11:57:00 PM): yes, mouse
Kitty112087 (11:57:07 PM): there's usually a mouse in the tea
Kitty112087 (11:57:15 PM): but it's Thursday, so it's optional
Kitty112087 (11:57:23 PM): (door mouse, right?)
kilIingxtime (11:56:16 PM): (yeah, but the mouse was in the jam )
Kitty112087 (11:57:50 PM): (He's in the tea today)
Kitty112087 (11:57:54 PM): (*evil grin*)
kilIingxtime (11:56:39 PM): (XD)
kilIingxtime (11:57:09 PM): .....well, i'm working on going vegetarian, so no mouse for me. But thank you.
Kitty112087 (11:58:45 PM): Fine. Two for me then. *drops two mice into the cup of tea*
Kitty112087 (11:58:46 PM): Cream?
kilIingxtime (11:57:53 PM): Yes please.
kilIingxtime (11:58:05 PM): (omgs, we're so weird XD)
Kitty112087 (11:59:25 PM): *pours the cream*
Kitty112087 (11:59:27 PM): (XDD)
Kitty112087 (11:59:37 PM): *stirs my own tea*
Mice: SQUEEEEK
kilIingxtime (11:58:52 PM): (Darian says he thinks I've finally cracked. XD)
Kitty112087 (12:00:45 AM): (XDD YOU'VE cracked? Who's the one drinking mouse-tea here???)
kilIingxtime (11:59:27 PM): *stirs her tea as well*
Cream: *is stirred in*
Kitty112087 (12:01:22 AM): *sips my tea*
Mouse 1: *faints*
Kitty112087 (12:01:31 AM): My tea makes more interesting sounds than yours does
kilIingxtime (12:00:53 AM): Yes, I've noticed that. Mine is rather quiet.
kilIingxtime (12:01:03 AM): OHLOOKTHEWHITERABBIT! *chases*
Kitty112087 (12:02:32 AM): o.o
Kitty112087 (12:02:35 AM): *blinks*
Kitty112087 (12:02:39 AM): BYYYYYYEEEE LADY~!!


Me: Its sad. The drummer for some band apparently died.
Pyro: Awwww whered he go?
Me: Er hopefully heaven?

Red_Rose369
09-16-2007, 11:35 PM
(Everybody in this post has had their name changed so they don't kill me)

Nick: That's almost as bad as when you said the plural of Moose was Meese.
Elle: It's true though, since the plural of goose is gesse, it only makes sense the the plural of moose is meese.
me: ...it's not.
Elle: People do agree with me you know!
Sadie: The only person who agreed with you was Mr. M
Nick: and he doesn't even speak English!

Me: Hey look it's the navy!
Nick: What are they doing in our school?
Sadie: Guess what!
us: ...uh...what?
Sadie: I told them I'd join the navy and they looked at me and said "your a girl" so I said, "Yeah I know I just want the squishy bouncy ball your giving out" so they gave one to me!
us: ...

Will: You should say something to him, you've known him longer...and you dated him
Kara: For two hours.
me: ...You guys make me sound shallow.

Math sub: (to Jen) Eww did a bird poop on your finger?
Jen: Mr! That's my nail polish.
Math sub: Really? It looks more like bird poop to me.

English teacher: We are learning how to work in groups so that when you get a job in the real world you'll be able to look people in the eye and...(looks at one group) hold hands and pretend you all like each other? Ok that's one way to do it.

Person I don't know: Mister move!
Math teacher: (dances)

Math Teacher: 30 years ago I had a student...I know, I know, how is it possible for me to teach for that long, I mean I look so hot!

Will: Remember we can't tell Wren that Tony likes her because that would wreck everything because Tony still hasn't said anything yet so she can't know we were talking about her. Oh hey Wren.
Me: Too late for that.

Will: You have to introduce me to Wren.
me: Why?
Will: I'm shy...
me: Since when?
Will: Since...now.
me: *sigh* ok. Wren this is Will, Will this is Wren.
Will and Wren: (look at me like I'm weird)
Will: *whispering* No wonder Tony won't let you talk to her for him, he doesn't know what you'll do!

Will: If you were a Pokemon, you'd be Bulbasaur because you always wear green.
me: ...okay...
Will: I mean for the Pep Rally you could paint the walls green, hide and then scare all the freshman that walk by.
me: Hey that's not a bad idea.
Will: You're a physco! Where do you come up with these ideas!

Tony: Carl don't walk into the...
Carl: (walks into the pole)
Tony: Pole...I tried to warn you.

Nick: I have to go pick up Maria then go to tennis practice.
Tony: Maria?
Nick: Yes, I named my tennis racket Maria. Is that a problem?
me: It shouldn't be, he named his clarinet Bob.
Tony: Yeah, but...Bob died then was brought back to life and died again.

Me: Hey Paris, should I kill off this character or keep her.
Paris: Kill her.
Me: Jay, should I kill off this character I'm writing or keep her alive.
Jay: Everybody deserves the right to live!
My English teacher from last year: Oh shut up Jay, the character has no plotline.

Ray: (is going on and on about something only smart people know)
English teacher last year: Okay Ray, you're getting a little too geeky for me.

Kara: If you want to do something fun during gym just make fun of Ray, it'll make your day trust me.

Oiseau de Chanson
09-17-2007, 02:55 AM
Okay, just remembered another wonderful one...

Backstage during Beauty and the Beast:

Chris: You'd probably get drunk on alcoholic farts!

Daroga
09-21-2007, 12:19 AM
On the phone with my sister as she watches "While You Were Out" on TLC:

Ash: I mean c'mon, it's a hot black guy with a British accent and power tools.... It's pretty much soft core porn.
Me: So I should tell Kevin to build you something?
Ash: Well he could either build me something or become a hot black guy and learn to speak with a British accent....
Me:..... Would you like a bird house or a book shelf?

Oiseau de Chanson
09-22-2007, 03:54 AM
Another good one.

Me and my friend are watching West Side Story, and there's the part where she is twirling and there is colorfulness and then they're at the dance.

Amanda: Am I tripping on acid?
Me: Yes.
Amanda: That explains the colors.

masquerading rose
09-24-2007, 02:04 AM
Some random person I don't know: Hey, you!
Me: ME?
Person: Yeah, you. Do you have a poster-board?
Me: No... should I?
Person: That's lesbion
Me: No... I don't think you know the meaning of the term "Lesbion"...*walks away*

Me: Hey, Becca, whacha doin'
Becca: Sitting here pretending to be Bisexual
Me: And... um... how's that going?
Becca: Eh... iffy... I got slapped because I wolf whitsled at this really pretty girl in the hall, and my boyfriend dumped me.
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry
Becca: Eh. Its okay really.

Me: Moo
Becca: Moo
Me: No. Its "mooo" with a nice "ooo" sound. Its off a movie.
Becca: Moo
Ashley: Moo moo moo cow?
Me and Becca: No... you don't get it...

Me: Hi, I'm Christina!
Adria: Quack
Me: *to Carter* Okay, I've been flipped off, hugged and greeted, but never quacked at...

Me: *In tears*
Lucy: What's wrong?
Me: P-pa-pavarotti d-died!
Crystal: Pavarotti? *laughs* That's sounds like a cracker spread
Me: *wails harder*

Dylan: I'm a penguin!
Me: You're a loony
Dylan: No! I'm a penguin! A loon is different.
Me: Mrs. Rodriguez, can I switch lab partners?

Billy: Dylan, did you like... escape from an insane aslym?

Me: *In training* Too bad Christina isn't here
Megan: How do you two tell your selfs apart.
Me: One, she like a foot taller than me, Two, she's like italian, Three, She's her and I'm me.

David: I love you
Me: Me too
David: *fake cries*
Me: I mean... I love you too?

Blake: *comes to school with broken hand* Hey, Christina! You aren't the only cripple here!
Me: *Holds up left hand and high-fives Blake* Whoots. I'm not left out! Yeah!
***One week later***
Blake: All healed!
Me: *sarcastically* lucky you...

Erik
10-11-2007, 11:19 PM
Science class... oh science class... [Kilgore Trout = Michelle]

[15:25] Kilgore Trout: somethings are just impossible to deal with
[15:26] Kilgore Trout: of course, you wouldn't know that, since you're a miracle baby
[15:26] Kilgore Trout: you should be dead samantha >: (
[15:26] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: I should be
[15:26] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:26] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: by the way...
[15:26] Kilgore Trout: thankfully you're not
[15:26] Kilgore Trout: or else i'd fail chemistry : (
[15:26] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: mom knew about me 6 weeks before I was born
[15:26] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: she worked in a bar
[15:26] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: what are the odds I'm dumb because of her
[15:26] Kilgore Trout: 90%
[15:26] Kilgore Trout: but you're sooooooooo smaaaaaaaaaaaart
[15:27] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:27] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: not really
[15:27] Kilgore Trout: i wish my mom worked in a bar when she was pregnant with me
[15:27] Kilgore Trout: then i'd be smarter

Ben: I'm a vegan
Ian: You just finished a hamburger

Ben: I'm a vegetarian!
Ian: ....you're wearing leather shoes...
Ben: .... shut up, Ian.

Mrs. Geisbretch: So what's a herbavore?
Cody: PLANT EATER!
Mrs. G.: Such as...?
Cody: LONG-NECK!
Mrs. G.: Do you know what a long-neck dinasoure's real name is?
Cody: LITTLE FOOT!!!!

[15:05] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: shut up, Michelle Adele Cartmel
[15:05] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: of which I cannot spell
[15:05] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: (oooh rhymes)
[15:06] Kilgore Trout: hahahahahhaha
[15:06] Kilgore Trout: there's another L
[15:06] Kilgore Trout: on cartmell
[15:06] Kilgore Trout: close enough though
[15:06] Kilgore Trout: >: (
[15:06] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: :p
[15:06] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: oh shush
[15:06] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: close enough
[15:06] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: (HAHA rhyme)
[15:06] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: I'm not even trying, I swear
[15:06] Kilgore Trout: yeah
[15:06] Kilgore Trout: they ALL say that
[15:07] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:07] Kilgore Trout: before long you'll be hippin and hoppin and rippin and rapping and bopping and all that stuff
[15:07] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: oh you know me so well
[15:07] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: because I hip hop rip rap AND bop
[15:08] Kilgore Trout: me too
[15:08] Kilgore Trout: actually no

[15:09] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: question
[15:09] Kilgore Trout: answer
[15:09] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: what's that thing Clint Eastwood wears in that picture
[15:09] Kilgore Trout: poncho
[15:09] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: thaaank you
[15:09] Kilgore Trout: you're welcome
[15:09] Kilgore Trout: i've got a poncho too
[15:09] Kilgore Trout: its not as great as his though :(
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: aw
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: *pats*
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: my dad has a pncho
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: poncho*
[15:10] Kilgore Trout: is your dad clint eastwood
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: that shrunk in the wash
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: no he's not
[15:10] Kilgore Trout: thats too bad
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: that's what I say
[15:10] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: every time he comes home from work I say "Too bad you're not Clint Eastwood"
[15:11] Kilgore Trout: yeah
[15:11] Kilgore Trout: i also say that
[15:11] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: "Then you'd come home on a horse"
[15:11] Kilgore Trout: !!!!!!
[15:11] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:11] Kilgore Trout: yeah
[15:11] Kilgore Trout: and with a gun
[15:11] Kilgore Trout: and shoot people

[15:21] Kilgore Trout: i'll dash your hopes and dreams!
[15:21] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:21] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: you don't even know them
[15:22] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: this song is so old school
[15:22] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: everyone knows it
[15:22] Kilgore Trout: to become the first black president of the united states
[15:22] Kilgore Trout: its awesome isn't it
[15:22] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: but I'm not black
[15:22] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: or american
[15:22] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: or president of anything
[15:22] Kilgore Trout: well that doesn't mean you can't dream
[15:22] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:22] Kilgore Trout: I'M THE ONE THATS SUPPOSED TO DO THE DASHING, NOT YOU!

[15:23] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: I hope your locker was broken into
[15:23] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: but nothing was stolen
[15:23] Kilgore Trout: it wasn't :)
[15:23] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: that way, you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what they took
[15:23] Kilgore Trout: no
[15:23] Kilgore Trout: i know the contents of my locker
[15:23] Kilgore Trout: two lunches from the first or second week of school
[15:24] Kilgore Trout: a text book from social 30 i have yet to return (oh you can slip it back into mr. bartschs class for me, since its not signed out to me) my empty classtable timetable thing, a binder i don't use and an empty apple juice can
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: that's really discriptive
[15:25] Kilgore Trout: yes
[15:25] Kilgore Trout: it certainly is
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: what if they broke into it and LEFT something there
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: like a lava lamp
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: what would you do
[15:25] Kilgore Trout: then i'd be shocked and confused
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:25] Kilgore Trout: i'd probably be distraught for days on end
[15:25] Kilgore Trout: i might even be driven to an unforgivable act
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: how woudl you get through it
[15:25] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: would*
[15:25] Kilgore Trout: i'm not sure i would
[15:25] Kilgore Trout: somethings are just impossible to deal with

[15:35] Kilgore Trout: i'll be back later
[15:35] Kilgore Trout: my mom told me to clean
[15:35] Kilgore Trout: :(
[15:35] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: aw
[15:35] Kilgore Trout: cleaning is boring and not fun
[15:35] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: tell her cleaning's for the weak
[15:35] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: and for squares
[15:35] Kilgore Trout: it is!
[15:36] Kilgore Trout: weak squares
[15:36] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:36] Kilgore Trout: I'M A STRONG CIRCLE
[15:36] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: parallelagrams
[15:36] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: swuares so weak they can't even stay up straight
[15:36] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: squares*
[15:36] Kilgore Trout: exxxxxxxxactly
[15:36] Kilgore Trout: so they are like
[15:36] Kilgore Trout: squashes
[15:36] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:36] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: yes

[15:30] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: I'm in a facebook group called "Cannibalism: A Viable Solution to Overpopulation AND World Hunger"
[15:31] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: humans taste of chicken
[15:31] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: and chickens taste of human
[15:32] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: I called out the name of that group in Social Studies when we were talking about poor people with overcrowding issues, and Bartsch called me sick
[15:32] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: lol
[15:32] Kilgore Trout: hahahaha
[15:32] Kilgore Trout: you are
[15:32] Kilgore Trout: YOU ARE SICK
[15:32] Kilgore Trout: YOU SICK SICK PERSON
[15:32] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: LIES!
[15:32] Kilgore Trout: but in saying that, i'm also sick
[15:32] Samness [Behind this mask there is an idea....]: why, you're me now?
[15:33] Kilgore Trout: no i share your passion for human flesh

masquerading rose
10-13-2007, 04:31 AM
Emily: GIve me the phone!
Me: No!
Emily: Give me!
Me: *puts phone in bra* Ha. Don't want it now, do you?
Emily: *Talks to David who was on the phone* Dude, Chrissy just put the phone in her bra!
David: Oh yeah! I so wanna be in her bra.

*During a pillow fight*
Emily: *Smacks me hard in the nose with her hand*
Me: Ow! *Smacks back at her head*
Emily: Ow!
Me: You hit me, I hit you back!
Emily: But yours was much harder!

*Watching Rent*
Me: *Sobs at Angel's funeral*
Emily: *Comforts me* Think of happy things!
Me: Like what?
Emily: Liiike.... Oh my gosh you can see Collins's teeth!
Me: *Raises eyebrow* So?

Me: So, Emily, who's your favorite Rent character?
Emily: Ummm... Mimi...
Me: So you like the pole-dancing drug-addict?
Emily: *shrugs*
Me: Hey, Brianna, Emily likes a pole-dancer!

*Picking up trash for seventh period*
Me: *Crawls underneath a portable*
*After class*
Me: Coach, guess what!? I got to sit under your portable today!

Me: You know Katie?
Emily: Umm... No...
Me: You know: cheerleader, blonde... shorter than me?
Emily: Hmm... shorter than you... I didn't think that was possible!

Katie: *Holds up squishy, pink allagator pen* I name him Squishy! *pokes Zack with pen*
Zack: Dude, can you stop?
Katie: Squishy likes you...
Zack: Is Squishy a girl or a boy?
Katie: Umm... I think its a boy...
Zack: Well make "Squishy" stop
Katie: But Squishy loves you
Zack: So Squishy's gay?
Katie: Yeah, Squishy's gay. Hey Coach, my pen's gay!

*In Emily's Brother's new car*
Me: Dude, you get a very nice massage with the bass when the music's turned up this high!

The Khanum
10-18-2007, 12:25 AM
Really random...but it amused me. Deal with it, folks. XD

Kearyn (7:08:32 PM): *dances with Katie to Elephant Love Medley*
KT Mae (7:08:49 PM): ALL YOU NEED IS LOOOOOOOOOOVE.
Kearyn (7:09:09 PM): A girl has got to eat!
KT Mae (7:09:13 PM): ALL YOU NEED IS LOOOOOOOVE.
Kearyn (7:09:31 PM): *in Satine!Costume* She'll end up on the street!
Kearyn (7:09:50 PM): *wears pretty red dress*
KT Mae (7:09:59 PM): *in....ewan-y-ness?* ALL YOU NEED IS LOOOOOooooOOOOOooooVE!
Kearyn (7:10:21 PM): *sings* Love is just a game!
KT Mae (7:10:25 PM): i was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me!
Kearyn (7:11:03 PM): The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee! *shakes hips*
KT Mae (7:11:11 PM): just one night, give me just one night...
Kearyn (7:11:31 PM): There's no way! cause you can't pay!
KT Mae (7:11:37 PM): in the naaaaaaaame of love! one night in the name of love!!
Kearyn (7:12:13 PM): You craaaaazy fool! I won't give into you!
KT Mae (7:12:29 PM): DON'T! leave me this waaAAaaAAay! i can't survive without your sweet love...oh baby, don't leave me this waaaaaaaay...
Kearyn (7:12:56 PM): You think that people would had enough of silly love songs!
KT Mae (7:13:06 PM): i look around me and i see that isn't so. oh, no. ^_^
Kearyn (7:13:38 PM): Some people try to fill the world with silly love songs... *
KT Mae (7:14:00 PM): well what's wrong with that, i'd like to know? 'cause here i goooo agaaaaaaaaaaaain!
KT Mae (7:14:07 PM): LOVE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG!
KT Mae (7:14:12 PM): WHERE EAGLES FLY ON A MOUNTAIN HIGH!
Kearyn (7:14:35 PM): Love makes us out like we are FOOLS! Throw our lives away! for ONE happy day!
KT Mae (7:14:41 PM): WE COULD BE HEROES! *dramatic drums!* just for one day!
Kearyn (7:15:25 PM): You!... *pouts* you will be mean.
KT Mae (7:15:38 PM): no, i won't!
Kearyn (7:15:55 PM): *sighs* And I.... *idea!* I'll drink all the time!
KT Mae (7:16:02 PM): *looks dashing* we should be loooooveeeeers!
Kearyn (7:16:14 PM): wecan'tdothat. o.o
KT Mae (7:16:28 PM): we should be lovers! and that's a FACT. *has already settled this matter*
Kearyn (7:16:35 PM): ... though nothing will keep us together... =D
KT Mae (7:16:41 PM): we could steal tiiiiiiiiiiiiime...
KT Mae (7:16:47 PM): just for one day! *duetiness*
Kearyn (7:16:56 PM): Just for one day! *duet*
KT Mae (7:17:03 PM): we could be heroooooooooes forever and evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Kearyn (7:17:11 PM): we could be herrooos!! forever and ever!!
Kearyn (7:17:17 PM): *shimmies with*
Kearyn (7:17:35 PM): we could be HEEEEERRRROOOOOOSSS!!
KT Mae (7:17:40 PM): we could be herooooooooooooes...just because iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
KT Mae (7:18:00 PM): placido domingo: *goes crazy opera **** on our asses*
Kearyn (7:18:32 PM): IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! WILL ALWAYS! LOVE!
KT Mae (7:18:39 PM): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...CAN'T HELP LOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.........
Kearyn (7:18:59 PM): Youuu... *soprano* How wonderful life is... now you're in the world! <3333 *loves*
KT Mae (7:18:55 PM): *soft and girly* youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....
KT Mae (7:19:14 PM): placido domingo: *kicks ass in the background*
Kearyn (7:19:31 PM): Fireworks: *boom!*
KT Mae (7:19:45 PM): hopeless romantics: *sigh!*
Kearyn (7:20:46 PM): we pwn. <3

masquerading rose
10-18-2007, 10:25 PM
Teacher: Christina, get out a red pen.
Me: Okay *pulls out black pen* Is a color-blind pen okay?
Teacher: *Glares* Get out a red pen
Me: *Pulls out pencil*
Teacher: I said pen!!!
Me: Shhh... don't say that! My pencil wants to be a pen. Don't crush its hopes and dreams!
Teacher: Do you want a detention?
Me: Hey, Alexander, do you have a red pen I can borrow?

Why So Silent
10-29-2007, 12:22 AM
Sister: "Is Scotland named that because it's the land of the Scots?"
Mom: "Yep, very good!"
Kat: "Yeah, and England is the land of the Engs!"

- after laughter subsides -

Sister: "And Ireland is the land of the Ires!"
Kat: "Well they do get mad very easily."
Dad: *eyeroll*

Oiseau de Chanson
10-29-2007, 04:39 AM
Really random...but it amused me. Deal with it, folks. XD

Kearyn (7:08:32 PM): *dances with Katie to Elephant Love Medley*
KT Mae (7:08:49 PM): ALL YOU NEED IS LOOOOOOOOOOVE.
Kearyn (7:09:09 PM): A girl has got to eat!
KT Mae (7:09:13 PM): ALL YOU NEED IS LOOOOOOOVE.
Kearyn (7:09:31 PM): *in Satine!Costume* She'll end up on the street!
Kearyn (7:09:50 PM): *wears pretty red dress*
KT Mae (7:09:59 PM): *in....ewan-y-ness?* ALL YOU NEED IS LOOOOOooooOOOOOooooVE!
Kearyn (7:10:21 PM): *sings* Love is just a game!
KT Mae (7:10:25 PM): i was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me!
Kearyn (7:11:03 PM): The only way of loving me baby is to pay a lovely fee! *shakes hips*
KT Mae (7:11:11 PM): just one night, give me just one night...
Kearyn (7:11:31 PM): There's no way! cause you can't pay!
KT Mae (7:11:37 PM): in the naaaaaaaame of love! one night in the name of love!!
Kearyn (7:12:13 PM): You craaaaazy fool! I won't give into you!
KT Mae (7:12:29 PM): DON'T! leave me this waaAAaaAAay! i can't survive without your sweet love...oh baby, don't leave me this waaaaaaaay...
Kearyn (7:12:56 PM): You think that people would had enough of silly love songs!
KT Mae (7:13:06 PM): i look around me and i see that isn't so. oh, no. ^_^
Kearyn (7:13:38 PM): Some people try to fill the world with silly love songs... *
KT Mae (7:14:00 PM): well what's wrong with that, i'd like to know? 'cause here i goooo agaaaaaaaaaaaain!
KT Mae (7:14:07 PM): LOVE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG!
KT Mae (7:14:12 PM): WHERE EAGLES FLY ON A MOUNTAIN HIGH!
Kearyn (7:14:35 PM): Love makes us out like we are FOOLS! Throw our lives away! for ONE happy day!
KT Mae (7:14:41 PM): WE COULD BE HEROES! *dramatic drums!* just for one day!
Kearyn (7:15:25 PM): You!... *pouts* you will be mean.
KT Mae (7:15:38 PM): no, i won't!
Kearyn (7:15:55 PM): *sighs* And I.... *idea!* I'll drink all the time!
KT Mae (7:16:02 PM): *looks dashing* we should be loooooveeeeers!
Kearyn (7:16:14 PM): wecan'tdothat. o.o
KT Mae (7:16:28 PM): we should be lovers! and that's a FACT. *has already settled this matter*
Kearyn (7:16:35 PM): ... though nothing will keep us together... =D
KT Mae (7:16:41 PM): we could steal tiiiiiiiiiiiiime...
KT Mae (7:16:47 PM): just for one day! *duetiness*
Kearyn (7:16:56 PM): Just for one day! *duet*
KT Mae (7:17:03 PM): we could be heroooooooooes forever and evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Kearyn (7:17:11 PM): we could be herrooos!! forever and ever!!
Kearyn (7:17:17 PM): *shimmies with*
Kearyn (7:17:35 PM): we could be HEEEEERRRROOOOOOSSS!!
KT Mae (7:17:40 PM): we could be herooooooooooooes...just because iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
KT Mae (7:18:00 PM): placido domingo: *goes crazy opera **** on our asses*
Kearyn (7:18:32 PM): IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! WILL ALWAYS! LOVE!
KT Mae (7:18:39 PM): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...CAN'T HELP LOVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.........
Kearyn (7:18:59 PM): Youuu... *soprano* How wonderful life is... now you're in the world! <3333 *loves*
KT Mae (7:18:55 PM): *soft and girly* youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....
KT Mae (7:19:14 PM): placido domingo: *kicks ass in the background*
Kearyn (7:19:31 PM): Fireworks: *boom!*
KT Mae (7:19:45 PM): hopeless romantics: *sigh!*
Kearyn (7:20:46 PM): we pwn. <3

Glad to know me and my friend aren't the only ones that do that....:)

Randomness:

Donald (3:55:01 PM): rawr!
Emily (3:55:10 PM): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Donald (3:55:31 PM): my dinosaur is gonna eat you...just so you know.
Emily (3:55:43 PM): Oh gosh! Not a dinosaur!
Donald (3:56:05 PM): yep he's a rapter
Emily (3:56:10 PM): the worst kind.
Donald (3:56:27 PM): He's only a baby though so he might not hurt you.
Emily (3:56:32 PM): okay. that's good!
Donald (3:56:41 PM): yeah he's still learning
Emily (3:56:42 PM): lol



maria... says: emily!!!!!! i am so happy you're alive!!
Emily says: I'm so happy I'm alive, too!
maria... says: i have missed you guys SO much
maria... says: it's like you took my arm, ripped a chunk out, and left me.
Emily says: Ouch. I'll bet that made a mess.
maria... says: well you did it!!!
maria... says: metaphorically, of course
maria... says: but that's almost literal in my mind
Emily says: Oh goodness
maria... says: i look down and see emily
Emily says: holding your arm?
maria... says: no. with a chunk out.
Emily says: ohh.....gotcha

Mrs Nadir Khan
10-31-2007, 12:53 AM
Taylor: Oh, God! I love Napolean!
Jonathan: Dynamite?
Taylor: No. Napolean. *points to a painting of Napolean Bonaparte*
Me: Dear Lord, Taylor....
Taylor: He's my hot boyfriend!
Me: Wasn'the married?
Taylor: To me!
Me: And short.
Taylor: What?
Me: Short. Like five foot four.
Jonathan: People were shorter then...
Taylor: Er...
Jonathan: Perfect height for *makes weird mouth-hand gesture*
Taylor: Ew!! I am divorcing Napolean!

Taylor: Cassie, wear my necklace.
Me: Er... Okay.
Taylor: Anyways, Devin. I was sitting like Cassie is now and Julian just walks up to me and points at my chest and says "Woah! Those are big!'' *points at my chest* I thought he meant my boobs, but he meant the beads.
Devin: *points at my chest* Those really are big.

Devin: And then there were six... And we [the boys] are out numbered.
Jonathan: I get those two!
Me: Excuse me?
Jonathan: Sorry... Forgot we weren't on Lost....

Mrs. J: *reads story blurb* What do you think the situation is?
Me: They're on a roadtrip, but they're worried about the cops.
Mrs J: Why?
Curtis: Because they have to stash the body before they get caught.
Mrs J: What body?
Me: The guy they killed in Vegas.
Mrs J: Er... Guys...
Curtis: But he couldn't fit in trunk, so they cut him into bits and stuffed him in the trunk!
Mrs J: Guys....
Me and Curtis: What?
Mrs J: Do you want to know what this is from?
Me and Curtis: Sure.
Mrs J: A romantic comedy.
Curtis: Your point?

Love the Lie
10-31-2007, 04:13 AM
Got some fun quotes that came out so wrong at the time!

Alvin: *puts Lizzie McGuire video tape in mouth*
Me: No! You cannot eat Lizzie McGuire!
Katie: He wants to though. She's blonde!
Me: x_x
Katie: Well maybe in 18 years.

Me: No sex for Alvin or Alyxia! Ever!
Katie: What?
Me: Abstinence all the way!
Katie: You mean Absinthe! If they can't remember, it doesn't count!
Me: What? NO!!

((Alvin is a 10-month old infant // Alyxia is my 9 year old niece.))

IamErik771
11-13-2007, 05:06 PM
Heh heh... Here's an example of a typical day in class with Jerry, my English professor, as he grades a paper comparing 2 military bases.

~~~

Jerry: "There are many reasons to join the military. Some join because they need direction."

...I got lost, stopped and asked for directions, and wound up in the military. Now I know why guys never ask for directions... *continues reading*

"Others join because it's the best way to see the world."

...Is that really true? James, can you think of a better way to see the world?

Me: *shrugs* Join NASA?

Jerry: That's a very strange answer ... well, okay. At a distance, through a space shuttle window, probably is the best way to see the world. Anyway... *continues reading*

"...I will now compare two of my favorite military bases: Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii, and..." *adopts a 'drill sergeant' voice* "HURLBURT FIELD, Florida!"

...It sounds kinda wrong for me to be reading this using that voice, doesn't it? Something just seems wrong with that. And therefore, I'll continue doing so... *reads the rest of the paper in a 'drill sergeant' voice*

masquerading rose
11-21-2007, 10:53 PM
*In the study*
Cassie: *gags*
Me: Well don't choke!
Cassie: No, a better response to that would be "Well don't put your earbuds in your mouth"

*About Cassie reading over my shoulder*
J: And to be honest I kind of figured that about your sister. You've mentioned at least once or twice on the board, and I have a sister too... I know exactly how that goes even though it drives me absolutely batty (which I highly suspect is why she does it).
Me: lol. Gotta love sister's, huh? Actually, I shouldn't be complaining, I'm the younger one, so I probabally annoy her more ('tis my job) than she could ever annoy me. lol.

*At midnight*
Cassie: Christina, I'm bored. I can't sleep. Tell me a story.
Me: You have got to be kidding me.
Cassie: *pouts*
Me: How old are we?
Cassie: *pouts*

That's all for now. But I'm sure I'll find more soon.

Minoru Inoue
12-06-2007, 06:47 AM
Me: Ive moved the tissue box to block the light from your computer.
Ellen: Huh?
Me: *verrry sloowwly* There is a light. From your computer. *points* It is in. my. Eyes.
Ellen: ohhhhhh.
Me: I put the tissue box there to block the light. DONT. MOVE. THE. TISSUE. BOX
Ellen: *moves the tissue box*
Me: if you want to live. *light shines in my eyes*
Danielle: *from aside* You know, you guys make it very hard to concentrate on fanfictions.

Alan: Hes into pedo-insecto-necrophilia.
Us: Huh?
Alan: Sex with dead baby bugs.

Emanuel: *in response* Where does it go in?!!


Steve: Do you need a virgin sacrifice?
Me: Ill sacrifice your virginity. ^_~
Everyone: *cracks up*

Steve: AIDS comes from corn.

*after seeing me on AIM*
Imacrabtoo: don't I pay for you to attend class?

Guillotine1988: Bonjour
Kitty112087: Guten Morgen
Guillotine1988: Not bad for 3:46 PM


Nicole: Of course Pat fell! Hed have to fall for Danielle to reach her height.
(Pat is 6'4, and Danielle is 4'6, and they're dating.)

Me: *commenting on Ellens video game* You kill small animals, you horrible human being!
Andrew (Ellens boyfriend): Hey, that sounds like what I do.
Me: No, you kill trees and remotes with your tomahawk.
Andrew: The tree was already dead, in its defense, and I was helping the remote on its way.

Alan: I have a question.
Me: I have an answer.
Alan: Wow! That sure was easy. Thanks.

mizuiroten: I have come to the conclusion that gay people cannot bowl.
(This was after GSA's trip to the bowling alley)

Danielle: *drawing my foot* This is really good practice.
Me: Good. Ill show you mad footsex in a second.

Meow says: Wazzzup?
Tempest says:ughhh
Tempest says:finals
Tempest says:>> That's what's up
Tempest says:*kills them*
Tempest says:*and eats them*
Tempest says:*with barbecue sauce*
Meow says:Mid-terms for me
Meow says:except with me
Meow says:they have guns
Tempest says: o__o
Tempest says: oh
Tempest says:wow
Meow says:and pointing things
Tempest says:catholic schools are getting stricter, aren't they?


Megan: Rayna, tell me a story.
Me: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Michael Nesmith.
(If youve never seen the fairytale episode of the 1960s series The Monkees, then you should.)

Me: Im the only person I know who mooches off the Registrars office when I need office supplies.

Me: Im vegetarian. Have I mentioned that Im also a cannibal?
Emanuel: How does that work?!
Me: Some people cant even be considered human. So since theyre not human, theyre not meat, and if theyre not meat, then I can eat them.

Mrs Nadir Khan
12-08-2007, 04:45 AM
Library time with Cassie and Courtney

Me: Its strange. More people worldwide recognize the McDonalds arches than the cross.
Courtney: Thats not strange, its sad.
Me: But I guess it makes sense.
Courtney: Oh?
Me: Yeah. Religion may shape culture, but McDonalds shapes us.

Me: Give me something to say in Arabic.
Courtney: *picks random word*
Me: *whips out handy-dandy English to Arabic dictionary with pronunciations and looks it up.* I cant.
Courtney: What do you mean?
Me: See these slashy things? Those indicate glottal stops.
Courtney: So?
Me: How do you do a glottal stop at the beginning of a word?

Me: I say we create our own religion.
Courtney: Erm. Sure.
Me: And it can be called Universalism.
Courtney: Which does what?
Me: Recognizes all religions as right and stresses personal choice.
Courtney: I think theres a religion like that.
Me: No. Because with Universalism, you are forced to convert.
Courtney: Wait. Youre forced to convert to believing in the god or gods you already believe in?
Me: Yeah. Pretty much.

Me: Courtney! I learned a word in Arabic!
Courtney: Good. What is it?
Me: Im-shee
Courtney: Meaning?
Me: Go away.
Courtney: Well fine. *storms off in a huff*
Me: No! It means go away, dont actually abandon me!

Me: This is weird.
Courtney: What?
Me: In Arabic they say breakfast cereal cornflakes.
Courtney: So if Im in Egypt, and I ask for breakfast cereal, theyll bring me cornflakes?
Me: Yeah.
Courtney. What if I want fruit loops?
Me: Youre screwed. They dont have fruit loops in Egypt.
Courtney: Youre making that up.
Me: No. It says it right here. *points to random Arabic characters*
Courtney: But I dont like cornflakes. How am I going to get Fruit Loops?
Me: You wont. Youll starve.

Courtney: Write something in Arabic on my hand.
Me: Okay. *writes Arabic characters on Courtneys hand*
Courtney: Oh! Its so pretty! Whats it say?
Me: Do you speak English?
Courtney: I dont like that one. Write something else.
Me: Okay *writes something else*
Courtney: Whats that one say?
Me: Bathroom.

Courtney: My head is on screwy.
Me: Why?
Courtney: Because life sucks.
Me: Yeah. My head is screwy too.
Courtney: Because life sucks?
Me: No. Because Im teaching myself Arabic, despite not ever hearing a native speaker and because I have a Youtube video going through my head. And I wasted twenty minutes looking for Phantom in Arabic on Youtube, but found something random about belly dancing instead. I also read a slash fic this morning that I just now fully understood.
Courtney: And you finished your project.
Me: Yeah.
Courtney: Your head isnt on screwyyou arent even human.

**Yes, I am learning Arabic. I got a pocket dictionary from my sister the other day and have been teaching myself for two days now. Wish me luck!

Oiseau de Chanson
12-09-2007, 02:32 AM
Amanda: i haven't been, like, at home, like, at all! Like, ever!

"Jesus was like, 'brb'." --Liz in Civ

"Speaking of watching raunchy things with teachers...." -Liahna

The next ones are all from my civ teacher:

Dear Jew,
Get the hell outta here!
Love, Spain

(In reference to to the comparison between the smaller churches in Rome to the huge cathedrals.)
"They are nothing in comparison! They are like Fischer Price 'My First Church'!"

"We're all the same species, we can all have children together. Even the smallest pygmy and the largest Norwegian can have a child."

"...and steel bows allowed them to shoot much farther and kill a lot more people...but that's just how they rolled."

"Dollar, dollar bill y'all."

inside your mind15
12-09-2007, 02:44 AM
Okay between me and my friends:
Matt: Your getting on the plane today
Nicole: What?
Matt: Your getting on the plane today right?
Me: WHAT? Nicole is getting deported
Nicole: Yeah, back to Canadia!

My World History teacher on eucalyptus high koala bears:
Yeah, they're like hippie bears. You can go up to them and they'll be like "YOOOO."
When a fire starts burning the eucalyptus forest, they'll just sit on in the trees and be like "DUUUDE! It'd getting kinda hot." And then they'll be burned!
My history teacher on The Great Schism:
So there were three popes, the french pope the roman pope and the other pope and the peasants are like "Which pope do I follow?" Its like Heres a pope theres a pope everywheres a pope pope!
Me and My history teacher on Joan of Arc:
Teacher: So Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
Me: Dude! Thats not fair! She was crispy fried!

Oiseau de Chanson
12-09-2007, 02:48 AM
My history teacher on The Great Schism:
So there were three popes, the french pope the roman pope and the other pope and the peasants are like "Which pope do I follow?" Its like Heres a pope theres a pope everywheres a pope pope!

Okayyy, that made me laugh out loud. Literally. I was like ....PAHAHA! So you know.

inside your mind15
12-16-2007, 01:45 AM
My Math Teacher and me:
Teacher:Leave the Band Drama in band!
Teacher:*Screams* This is the HAPPIEST place on EARTH!
Me:*looks around* This is Disney World?
Teacher: No, Its BETTER than Disney World!

Mrs Nadir Khan
12-16-2007, 02:30 AM
My fantabulous Birthday Party with my Amazing Friends in the Hibachi Restaurant and Marble Slab Parking Lot

Me: Oh brilliant.
Courtney: What?
Me: Server Joe flipped the shrimp into my bra.
Courtney: *laughs*
Kaycee: Wow. Just wow.
Me: Its like when I dropped a cheeto in there and John saw me digging for it.
Courtney: *snorts* Oh yeah! And he was like, staring at you and asking you what else you had in there.
Me: Yeah.
Kaycee: Oh My.
Courtney: Kaycee, dont look so shocked. Everything ends up in Cassies bra in the end.

Mom: Where do yall wanna go next?
Emily: Hooters!
Me: What?
Emily: Cuz you need to pick up your job application, Cassie.
Courtney: Oh! You should totally be Miss January.
Mom: Yeah. And underneath her picture therell be a caption that says, Anyone want a cheeto?

Me: *opening gifts*
Courtney: Hold on!!!
Me: What?
Courtney: *Fixes my hair and dress strap*
Me: Courtney, if I wanted to be babied, I would have sat by my mother.
Courtney: Shut up. You know you love the attention.

Mom: Take a picture by the tree!
Me: Mom. The branch just totally went up my skirt.
Courtney: You should file for sexual harassment!
Me: But officer! The tree was harassing me!

Courtney: Open your card!
Card: Im-Shee!!!
Me: Very smooth. Classy.

Mom: Do you know what it is?
Me: A necklace?
Mom: *scoffs* A necklace! Do you know where it came from?
Me: You and Dad?
Mom: Honey, its from Jared.
Tori: Ooh, whos Jared?
Mom: Their your first diamonds.
Me: OmiGod!! *screams*
Tori: Whos Jared and why did he get you diamonds?

Me: Im gonna do my amazing dance move.
Emily: Okay.
Me: *shoe flies into parking lot* *runs after it*
Emily: Yup. Pretty amazing. You are ranked nineteenth in our class and yet are dumb enough to run into the parking lot, in pantyhose, after a shoe. In the dark. Really amazing.

Kaycee: Are we too loud?
Mom: No, why?
Kaycee: That couple left the store when we came in. And when we came outside, they drove off.

Emily: Bao fiesta!
Me: Fiesta del bao!
Emily: Were not in school, Miss I speak two and a half languages it doesnt have to be grammatically correct.

Tori: We are so cool. Fanfiction is to us what MySpace is to the general population of kids between 13 and 18.

Me: *in the car* Ugh.
Courtney: What?
Me: I have obsessive radio skipping disorder.
Courtney: I know.
Me: And I hate this song.
Courtneys Mom: Its Christmas music! Whats wrong with you?
Me: Nothing. I just hate it when little kids who are flat, tone-deaf and breathy get record deals to sing all cutesy Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. Or that stupid Drummer boy song. I mean, Ive read the Bible and remember the shepherds, Mary, Joseph and the magibut a drummer boy? Well excuse me, sorry, but there was no drummer boy at Jesus birth.
Kaycee: Uh-huh.
Chrissy: Yknow, when I go to heaven, Im gonna ask Jesus that.
Mom: Er, girls, Jesus was a baby when he was born. Its not like he remembers.
Me: Yes, he will. Because if Jesus is God, he is omnipresent. Id be highly disturbed if he didnt know who was present when he was born.

Tori: Im gonna steal the samurai for our school!
Emily: Were the knights; not the samurais.
Tori: Samurais are knights, too, in their weird little Japanese way!

Kaycee: Do you know what a katana was?
Me: A samurai sword.
Kaycee: Do you know what it was used for?
Me: Erm Samurai stuff.
Kaycee: Ritual suicide.
Me: Oh! You mean Sudoku!
Kaycee: Seppuku, but, yeah.

Tori: *points to statue* Its a Japanese knight.
Me: Leave it alone.
Tori: But its a Japanese knight!
Emily: Well, look whos gone all statue racist!

angelofthenight
12-16-2007, 05:54 AM
How about just some random quotes from friends. First let it be clarified that Coober only sees out of one eye as do I but you know whatever.

Coober: Wow, Jesse your sweatshirt looks horrible what happened to it?
Jesse:I let some guy with one eye spray paint it (he spray painted it)
Coober: Good thing I have two. *walks away*

Note: this next conversation is the first time Coober has never had a come back. All I can say is wow.

Coober: hey lamebag (Jesse's designated nickname)
Jesse: You knwo what Coober...I'd rather be lame then blind.
Coober: ... that was mean.

Coober: Haley stand up, oh never mind I forgot your just short
Me: Well atleast I don't stick my tounge to polls.
Coober: That was one time
Haley: One time to many.

Stacy:Hey everyone gues what *everyone looks at her* I'm naked under my clothes.
Me: And I'm bald without my hair.

Me: Peaches can talk if you listen hard enough
Cassie: Does that mean they talk to each other?
Me: Maybe why?
Cassie: Because two peaches just rolled off the table

Stacey: Guys I've decided something! *stands up on her chair*
Me: This can't be good.
Stacey: I've decided *dramatic pause* that I'm wearing my blue sweatshirt tomorrow.

In this next conversation Coober is dressed like the phantom of the opera and looks very dashing. It was for a marching band performance.

Coober:Haley *walks in the room shuts the door and flourishes his cape* I love you.
Me: You want to know something.
Coober: Sure.
Me:One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say things they don't realize they truly mean.
Coober: *turns around and walks out of the room*

Mrs Nadir Khan
12-21-2007, 12:19 AM
Yesterday's Field Trip

Part I: Getting there

John*: I'm so lost!
Me: Here. Stay with me for a sec so I can put my bag in my locker...
Tim: *to me* Hello, locker buddy!
Me: Hola.
Tim: *sees John* Are you a friend of my locker buddy's?
John: Friend? Psh. No. We have a house and three kids together.
Tim: Uh-huh.
John: Seriously, can't get her off me; she clings like a spider monkey.

Anne: What are you two laughing about.
John: It was great. April's locker buddy asked me if we were friends and I told him that we had three kids and a house!
Me: *scoffs* April? After three kids an a house, you can't even remember my name?

*John is my best guy friend. I've known him since fifth grade and he is the most flirtatious, goofy, and strange guy I've met. Ever.

Part II The Museum

Me: I am so board.
Anne: Tell me about it. They said it was interactive.
John: It is interactive! We do math problems and they give us Strawberry Shortcake pens! I love this thing!
Nathan: You are so fruity.
John: Oh shut up, you know you love me.

Me: Courtship in 1800's Texas.
Trip: That dude has a candle.
Me: So? Candles are romantic.
Trip: It's pointed at the chick. What's it say about that?
Me: *fake reading* Courtship in the 1800's was a bloodsport, often dangerous. Men wielded candles and the woman they burned would often times become their wife. *end of fake reading* Well, talk about abusive!
Trip: Yeah... Wait... It doesn't actually say that!

The entire trip ws kinda like that.

masquerading rose
12-21-2007, 07:15 PM
*During Band elections for Band president*
Jon: I have a dream...
Band: *groan*
Jon: I have a dream that all band nerds will be united as one sound. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr. "Vote for me for president because I have a dream"! Thank you.

Stephanie: Vote for moi! I have three reasons. Count down with me.
Band: Three!
Stephanie: I will make all of your dreams come true! I will always listen to you and guess what? I won't even laugh at you if I hate your idea or I think its stupid!
Band: Two!
Stephanie: Two because I will make this band proud! I will do what you want to do, not what I want to do. I will help make this band better than the rest.
Band: One!
Stephanie: And one, because I can do the Moonwalk. *does moonwalk across gym floor*

Eric: Um.. I'm not sure what my speech should be... Oh! Oh! I got it! GO SYMPHONIC BAND!!!
Summer: What? Did he just say "vote for frying pan"?

*I love my band*

Daroga
01-23-2008, 08:05 PM
True story... paraphrased..

Sam: Oh I have to tell you this. James was telling me this story about his Mom.
Me: uh-huh...
Sam: And how one time she went to go see James Earl Jones speak..
Me: Erm... Sam...
Sam: And the talk he gave wasn't that great...
Me: Saaammm....
Sam: But that it didn't matter cause she could listen to him read the phone book and still enjoy it!
Me: *Psst* SAM... That was me. I told you that story. That was my mother.
Sam: *dies a little* ... oh... oops.
Me: *trys to stop dying laughing* Was that what you wanted to tell me? About how my mom likes James Earl Jones' voice?
Sam: No... they have him reading the bible on iTunes
Both: *Laughing hysterically*
Ran: *Darth Vader heavy breathing* Jesus.... I am your father...

The sad part of this story is that after that the three of us died laughing... we've become ghosts and have been haunting the site for the last week...

Erik
01-23-2008, 08:42 PM
Mallory [of the Sunshine Girl, aka slutty picture of a girl next to the weather in the local newspaper]: I just don't like her pose.
Me: Well she's not wearing very many of them.
Mallory: ....
Me: OH, you said her POSE!

Mallory: I'm sweating like a popsicle in Baghdad!
Me: Haha....wait, what!?!? XD

Mallory + Sam: IIIII've been working on the railroad, aaaaall the livelong day!

Mallory: *reading the space under the cake fridge* OKX.... haha... OK X, said Y. I have been studying math way too much.

Alex: I'll be Frank. You be Beans.

Customer: I just wanna sell some ****ing ice cream!

Me and Jon: Duuuhhh... I wike jellwo...

Stephan Colbert: Well what's your IQ?
Malcolm Gladwell: I have no idea
Stephan Colbert: I know what mine is. I got an A. 95 :)

Mallory [of my boobs]: They're just like "hello!"
Me: I'm pretty sure if my boobs could talk, that's not what they would sound like.
Mallory: Yeah, it'd be like... how WOULD a boob talk?

Me: heyheyhey
Me: you
Me: with the hair
KT: *looks around* who, me?
Me: no, the guy behind you
KT: OH****! O_O
Me: lol
KT: that's rather terrifying, because i'm in bed with a window behind me.
Me: wow awkward
Me: oops
Me: soooorry :)
KT: well, i'm also six stories up.
KT: so.
KT: that would have to be a pretty damn dedicated stalker.
Me: that would be impressive indeed
Me: and thank you, I am very dedicated to my work
Me: :p
KT: XDDD
KT: hey, if i'm going to have a stalker, i want said stalker to put some work into it. i dun want no slacker on that job.
Me: lol
Me: you need to be stalked properly
KT: damn straight.
Me: so you're a high maintenance subject
Me: silly redhead

Me: I also bought America (the book)
Me: by Jon Stewart :D
KT: by jon ste-
KT: ^.^ yay.
Me: lol
Me: I'm taking your words all over the place
KT: i have none left. sigh.
Me: not true!
Me: falsities!
Me: lies!
Me: slander!
Me: filth!
Me: misconceptions!
Me: contraceptions!
Me: wait, scratch that last
Me: but otherwise!!!

KT: HAH. i have no memory of saying that. XD
Me: lol
Me: oh you goldfish
KT: haha yeah i-- wait, what?
KT: (said kt mae in jest.)

Jon: a full day of driving has made me zombie like
Me: please don't eat my spleen
Me: I need that
Jon: lol
Jon: fine... I'll just munch on your kidney

Michelle: so watcha doin
Michelle: DO YOUR SCRABBLE MOVE
Me: OKAY
Me: and I'm eating a danish
Michelle: you're sick
Michelle: you cannibal
Me: LOL
Michelle: A DANISH WHAT?
Michelle: MAN?
Michelle: WOMAN?
Michelle: CHILD?

Jon: hey... do you hear that wierd noise
Jon: it's sounds like a far voice whisper something....
Me: :p
Jon: "sam.... sam...... post for joooooooooonnnn....."
Jon: wow... that's creepy
Me: LOL
Me: now that is creepy

Edit: PS, I had Jon's Darth Vader quote in this post as well... he just posted it while I was creating this post which is creepy and ironic so I deleted it XD

inside your mind15
01-23-2008, 11:12 PM
Ahh, Band Class

Band director: Yeah, they said to wear your band shoes to the individual pictures...
Us: Why?!?
Band director: They said that your shoes may accidentally be pictured * Does Captain Morgan pose*


Band director: Didn't you guys see that ritard?
Us:*sigh* yes
Band director: Okay, so next time watch the retard * points to himself*

English Class ( talking about a standardized writing test)
Teacher: So, unless it says ' write a letter to your friend' I recommend not using slang. Even then, it's probably not a good idea.
Matt: So we should start off like ' hello fellow student'
Teacher: Maybe not that formal
Matt: I feel like wearing a top hat, monocle, and carrying a cane.
Teacher: Who are you trying to be.. Mr. Peanut?

* Teacher looks at student with crazy eye make-up*
Teacher: What super hero are you supposed to be... Raccoon Woman?

angelofthenight
01-23-2008, 11:25 PM
Yesterday in band class...

New Band director: The principle offered to come in here and talk to you guys, I think she was afraid you'd tie me to a pole and burn me with branding irons.
TJ:*stands up* I'll get the rope
Trevor:*follows her into storage room*I'll get the iron.
Coober:*goes to door and looks outside* I've got the pole

(Driving home with the captain of our color guard)

Me:I heard that the Elko band went to a competition every weekend
Michelle(Colorguard captain): Yeah but they don't perform until the afternoon, we'd have to leave at three in the morning every weekend.
Me: *laughing* we'd probably fall asleep on the field while we're marching
Michelle: *laughing also* and Trevor would just keep conducting like it's normal...

(Marching band pracitce)

Trevor: If you guys don't mark time Coober will throw an apple at you.
Joe:Really?
Coober:*throws apple* yeah

ahhh...band good times, good times.

Isabella Delancy
01-24-2008, 04:22 AM
I love this girl...haha, me and Ashlyn:

ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
I love you Nadya!
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
How would I ever stay sane without you?
Nadya ~ The 11th Commandment: 'Thou shall not offend Her Highness!' must be adhered to at all times on pain of death says:
haha yay!
Nadya ~ The 11th Commandment: 'Thou shall not offend Her Highness!' must be adhered to at all times on pain of death says:
sane? you think I help you to stay sane? that's scary!
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
lmao
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
Your right... you make me crazy, but in a good way
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
Like I'm some cute little psycho monkey
Nadya ~ The 11th Commandment: 'Thou shall not offend Her Highness!' must be adhered to at all times on pain of death says:
if you're a monkey, what does that make me?
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
lmao.... erm
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
I dunno whatever you wanna be
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
You can be a psycho bunny!
Nadya ~ The 11th Commandment: 'Thou shall not offend Her Highness!' must be adhered to at all times on pain of death says:
BUUUUUUNNY!
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
That make me think of Anya on Buffy and her bunny-phobia
Nadya ~ The 11th Commandment: 'Thou shall not offend Her Highness!' must be adhered to at all times on pain of death says:
I remind you of a character on Buffy and it's not the cool vampire ass-kicking one?
ASHBASH [it's like jerry s p r i n g e r] { r . i . p . Heath Ledger } says:
no... just the bunny thing

masquerading rose
01-25-2008, 03:58 AM
angelofmusic2179 (me): *on IM* So I had this really weird dream last night.
david_quez1: Tell me
angelofmusic2179: So we were stranded on a clay boat
david_quez: a clay boat?
angelofmusic2179: A clay boat. And I got mad at your for something I can't remember so I flung myslef off.
david_quez1: Off the clay boat?
angelofmusic2179: THE CLAY BOAT!!!
david_quez1: Just checking. Continue.
angelofmusic2179: So you got rescued a day before me.
david_quez1: Sweet. They like me better.
angelofmusic2179: *Glower*. *evil grin*
david_quez1: Are you trying to kill me virtually?
angelofmusic2179: Anywhales, I was resuced a second before I was brutally attacked by a pack of vampire sharks.
david_quez1: vampire sharks?
angelofmusic2179: VAMPIRE SHARKS! and i was still mad so I moved to Italy.
david_quez1: Italy.
angelofmusic2179: Yes. Italy. Got a problem with that?
david_quez1: ...
angelofmusic2179: Good God. I just scared my only byfriend off.
david_quez1: lol.
angelofmusic2179: Anywhales, like ten years pass and I get a knock on my door and it's the FedEx man.
david_quez1: FedEx man?
angelofmusic2179: Yes. And he had a package.
david_quez1: Let me guess.... I was in it.
angelofmusic2179: close. I got a prom dress, a peanut puppet* and tickets to an Andrea Bocelli concert and the concert was on a cruise ship.
david_quez1: Uh-huh...
angelofmusic2179: Yup. And there was card that rhymed.
david_quez: I would so do that!
angelofmusic2179: *raises eyebrows* the card said "Roses are red, violets are blue, I was a jerk and so were you".
david_quez1: That's.... not like me.
angelofmusic2179: And then you drove by in a blue prius and crashed. And you were in the hospitol.
david_quez1: Ooo. What is it with you always having dreams that I die.
angelofmusic2179: I'm not sure....
david_quez1: *raises eyebrows*
angelofmusic2179: anyways, you woke up from your little coma thing and asked why I was mad at you. And I started yelling at you about how "it was your fault the cruise ship sank, Andrea Bocelli was flat, Peanut died, I didn't get a prom dress for Christmas, we lived on a clay boat, I moved to Italy, and that I was attacked by vampire sharks" and then, we made up becuase you gave me a simple "I'm sorry".
david_quez1: Wow... that was... weird.
*****************************************

Me: Some of my friends, they're just malicious people.

***
Me: I come offering peace, cookies, and homework
***
Cassie: I think kids look strange

***
(Off Meet the Robinsons) Goob: Mr. Steak, you're my only friend.

Christine
02-13-2008, 08:57 PM
ME: *trying super hard to open pickle jar in dim lighting*
MY UNCLE: "I thought you were strong, what, you can't open a pickle jar?"
ME: *tries harder* "I can do it!" *wipes hands*
ME: "Grrrrr!"
*pickle jar lid pops up*
ME: *binks*
ME: "um...Uncle Frank?"
MY UNCLE: *turns to look at me* "Yeah?"
ME: "I figured out why the pickle jar was so hard to open." *turns on light, and shows UNCLE the plastic still stuck to the lid*