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Name: April | Gender: female | Age: 33 | Posts: 135 | Roses: 10
Old 09-09-2010 at 09:34 AM
wandering child
Wandering Child
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Roaming Dungeons
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Reflection  Post [1]

Ok, my other phic will be updated later today, but this piece sortve took over and I couldn't stop working on it after hearing Michael Crawford sing "Reflection" from Mulan. It just seemed like so much of Erik's spirit was in it, like he was singing it. This is a Kay phic, but with echoes of Leroux, the ALW musical, and yes, Love Never Dies. I hope my readers like it.

To hear Michael sing go here.

Erik arranged the shards of the broken mirror around the broken statue of the shepherd boy. In the morning his mother would wake to find his final message to her. He would take nothing with him except the clothes on his back and of course his mask. He was unmasked for the moment, the reflecting light making the temperature too hot to wear the white piece of porceleine comfortably.

He caught sight of his reflection in one of the broken pieces. The first time he'd seen his face he'd thought a monster had been staring back at him. Slowly his mind had come to accept the truth. But he still didn't want to believe that terrible face was his. His face wasn't who he was.

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me

But his mother had never seen anything except the monster, and that's all he could see now. He put the mask back on. The mask was magic. The monster couldn't hurt him as long as he wore it. He could pretend to be like anybody.

Everyday, it's as if I play a part

But the mask couldn't make him forget what he'd seen, what people would always see him as. Sasha had died because of what the mask hid. The villagers had called him a monster. His mother hated him. Dr. Barye had said he was a freak of nature and wanted him locked away. They couldn't all be wrong. The mask could protect him, but it couldn't change the truth.

Now I see, if I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

"I'm not a monster-" he whispered, wanting to make it be true. He wasn't what the mirror showed. Was he?

Who is that boy I see,
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

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He'd come to Persia for the promise of power, but although his word was law to nearly everyone in Persia, it was the khanum who was in control. She had him manufacture living nightmares for her own amusement as well as face a seemingly unending line of foes in armed combat, him with the punjab lasso and his opponents with a pike and broadsword. It was not that Erik feared his opponents. None of them had a hope of defeating him and everyone knew it. But each time he killed, he felt part of himself die. The innocent boy he had been years ago, the young man who'd strived for the light under the care of a kind master mason, was being strangled as surely as each man his lasso felled.

But he could never show that he regretted what he did. That would be a weakness. Even when he woke up screaming from nightmares that he was drowning in a sea of blood, he had to remain the khanum's angel of doom. So with each new victim who died with his lasso around their neck, each person who was forced into the torture chamber he'd invented, he only focused on his hatred for the human race as a whole, hardened himself further. Besides, except for Marie and Giovani, the world had never showed him any compassion, he rationalized. Why should he not be the monster everyone hated?

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart,
And what I believe in

If there was one living member of the human race Erik hated above all others, it was Mirza Taqui Khan, the grand vazir. Erik had felt strong dislike for him ever since he'd first overheard the snide remarks the vizar had made about him. That had swiftly turned to outright hatred, and Erik was not going to just ignore the even worse things that had been said about him in court.

"A cage, sir, is where you belong... like the hideous beast you are."

"The depravity of your actions stains us all."

"You are a deranged fiend who should have been locked away from the world at birth! Your mind is as distorted as your face."

Erik had played the game of court politics well to ensure the vizar's downfall after that, but he couldn't deny he felt truth in what the vizar had said.

The only place he could forget for a little while, be at peace, was where little Reza was always so eager to see him, begging for one more story, song, or magic trick. Reza alone saw him as someone completely kind and good. Only Reza saw Erik as the type of person he had once been, could still be. Reza was blind, but he saw the good man inside Erik that Erik wished the world could see, and Erik loved Reza as much as if the little boy was his own son, never denying him anything. If only everyone were as innocent and good hearted as that child.

But somehow, I will show the world,
What's inside my heart,
And be loved for who I am

Anyone fallen out of favor in the Persian court didn't survive long, and that was true for the vizar. Erik truly regreted what had happened when he thought of the vizar's wife and small children, and was filled with the deepest and most sincere remorse for their sake. But he still hated the vizar for making him look into the mirror of his eyes and seeing the loathsome thing he had become. What the vizar showed him was not a man Erik recognized as himself anymore. The mirror into his broken soul was far worse now than the polished glass that showed only faces.

Who is that man I see,
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I dont know?

Instead of finding power, he'd lost himself. He felt like he truly was the angel of doom now, not Erik any longer.

Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

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He couldn't go on pretending any longer. He was going to officially meet Christine tonight, to commit the ultimate theft and take her down to his home in the fifth cellar. There had to be some higher purpose in living. There had to be some way for him to have the love of this beautiful white rose. His heart couldn't bear being denied any longer

There's a heart that must be free to fly,
That burns with the need to know the reason why

She wept when he took her to the room he'd filled with flowers for her and knelt at her feet. His cheat was too much for her to cope with.

"It is true, Christine. I am not an angel, nor a ghost. I am Erik."

I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

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He couldn't believe it. Christine had kept her word and come back to deliver that invitation he'd asked of her the night he'd told her to leave with the boy. She'd come back and given him the most beautiful gift he'd ever had, something he'd never dared to hope for. A kiss would have been more than he'd dared to dream of, but Christine had given even more by giving herself to him completely. They'd shared their love in every way. But after as they lay holding each other, Erik knew this dream could not last forever. He was dying, had perhaps only another day or two left at best. But even if he had years ahead of him, he could never ask her to stay with him. She deserved so much better. She was an angel and he was a corpse. He didn't even deserve to touch her much less be joined with her. He was filled with the most shame he'd ever felt. Tears fell down his unmasked cheeks and he had to look away, knowing if he used her as his mirror he would see the ugliest sight he'd ever seen.


Christine's voice was soft, gentle, and she touched his face without a trace of fright as she made him look at her. Her large eyes were filled with tears, but not of regret at what they'd done. It was with regret that their time together was nearly over. Erik caught sight of his face reflected in her eyes, but it wasn't what he expected. The love in her eyes worked magic it seemed, and he saw what she did. Instead of a death's head, he saw the love he felt for her reflected back. He saw the man behind the monster. He saw kindness, gentleness- beauty.

"Oh Christine!"

At last, his reflection in this most perfect mirror showed who he was inside.
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Name: Elphie | Gender: female | Age: 24 | Posts: 210 | Roses: 10
Old 09-09-2010 at 10:52 AM
Lady of Music
Wandering Child
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 Post [2]

absalutely brill Wandering, really and truly beautiful. A beautiful song sang wonderfully by him is a true inspirtion, as this clearly prooves

I'm a Dwarf and I am digging a hole
Diggy diggy diggy
I'm digging a hole
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