The Phantom's Opera
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View Poll Results: How is it?...(the story, is what I mean)
it's okay (3-4 stars) 3 16.67%
I love it! (5 stars) 11 61.11%
HATE IT! (1 stars) 0 0%
not sure..... (n/a--unsure) 3 16.67%
horribly written, but nice idea! (2 stars) 2 11.11%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

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Name: Patricia Jane [pətrɪʃə dʒeɪn] | Gender: Lady | Age: 22 | Posts: 2,327 | Roses: 50
Old 12-29-2007 at 08:22 PM
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I Never Knew It ~ Chapter 1~ Mystery  Post [1] »




Just for kicks (I knew I'd give in and have to do this) The characters of Phantom of the Phantom of the Opera are not of my imagination. Only Melonie is....:)

Phew I got it out! Please, enjoy (it was nice enough to be great!)

Melonie

It was a dark, cold night as I, with journal my in hand, stepped past a corner's intersection for the third time this night. It was a starry winter's night in Paris; a bit cold, but not as unbarring as ice. It was so peaceful and quiet. Perhaps just a bit too quiet; it was so deathly silent that I could even hear my own mental thoughts as my feet lead off with a muffled pitter-patter against the cobble-stone.

I wonder what Patrick's like now...after all these years!

I could smile at the thought of those years of the past. A very good past at that. I was lucky to have had a strong friendship with a childhood friend ever since the my days in Ireland. Patrick and I were very close friends. Practically like brother and sister. He was the quiet one that lived by the rules of life one. Once told a demand, he was practically like clay in your hands. As the saying, "Opposites attract," thrives to live on amongst the both of us, everyone in and around town knew the saying just as well as they knew it applied to us. Contrary to his submissive ways, I was very outgoing at times, but shy the next moment, I never really like rules, they just seemed to ruin everyone‘s emotions after a while, but that was at such an age…

Being complete opposites was absolutely perfect for us. We were very fast friends from the beginning, complimenting what the other did not possess. But in time our friendship came close to greater matters: College. For him at least.

For seven years we had not a day without talking to each other. That all stopped at the age eighteen: The day of his graduation and acceptance to a college in London for aspiring musicians.

For the next eleven years we'd mail along letters once in a while. This summer, we've began to mail once again as then we'd finally agreed to meet each other in Paris, France.

Thoughts continued to fill my mind and twist and turn every which way. What exactly can silence do to a mind? The answers? Endless! It was eerie, odd, and creepy, but yet it was mysterious and intriguing, and it was easy for mental thoughts to pass.

I wonder how Spain was for him? I'm completely jealous for that opportunity...such a beautiful country side they have.

Ahhhh, Spain. Patrick was touring the world as a musician along with a orchestra he's been hired into. I've been a few time before to such a grand place, but it's such a wonder to return every once in a while. I was rather happy for him. I very well knew how much he loved music. This passion of his--at least as he said, it seemed more of an obsession in my eyes--was very strong and had moved from him unto me.

Smiling to myself after thought of Patrick finally obtaining his dreams, I thought for a while. My thoughts then drifted off the to the thought of how I've become the person I am today came into thought: From age eighteen to twenty-seven.

Being at the age eighteen, he was going off the college as men would do with their opportune lives, and I was to continue my training as a performer and manager of dance in our home theatre. Either that or being married off and then becoming a house wife as Carrie had done. But I loved the theatre's atmosphere. Being in charge of every dancer was a very odd job for me. I was actually, on average, the youngest dancer in Ireland. But Miss. Clarice, the manager above me and everyone else, insisted that I took the job at the age of eighteen. Such a challenge, but now: practically second-nature.

Now, at the age of twenty-seven, you get used to thing being the way they have been. But now looking back, it was quite a hectic life. I had physical pain from the new business and dance classes, and from that came stress. All of that pain has come to take it toil at such a young age. My physical appearance isn't the worst thing the world's have ever seen, but I do have to admit that my eyes' circles have been darkening over the years from being sleep deprived a bit. At least I'm not horribly unbearable looking, right? I do have smooth soft skin; a well tone body; black, silkily hair; and well I'm just happy about that.

Anyways, there are better things than looks, am I not right again? Well at least to me, society today is very...well, picky about looks and appearance. But God knows what else they'll think about me other than as a dancer.

Silence for moments to come. It was akward...

I know he's changed. I thought quietly to myself.

My thoughts, just as always, drifted off and then turned around in my mind, putting a negative thought in place of it. It not only was a horrid habit of mine, it was second-nature as well.

What if too much? Realizing my horrid habit to show once again I scolded myself.

Annoyed at my depressing mood, I moved over from the cobblestone center of the streets to the rocky sidewalk. Just as the intersection approached closer to me, I heard something in the distance. I froze into place instinctively; I didn't know what the sound was, it was something that I just couldn't describe from first thought. Thinking about the sound after a while, it was a sharp echo that streamed out from down the streets adjacent to me. The being of whom made the sound could be anywhere now after the time that I've stood still from shock and concern. But I knew I should be still for I then felt the presence of someone near me. First they were behind me, then they were down the street just ahead of me, now they were even nearer than before. I didn't know where to think this person's location, as I thought, was. Without thinking, my voice carried out into the empty streets.

“Who's there?” I asked frantically.

I took in the echo of my voice, as it traveled down the street. Then nothing. I was standing alone with nothing in response to my insane call into to night.
“What is wrong with you, Melonie?” I asked stupidly to myself, as I sighed at my insanity. "Why would anyone hear me," I reasoned with myself, I then realized in the first place that I need a resolution just for myself to be comforted, "It just the wind."

Alright...it is alright...calm down, Mel…

My mind was rushing and racing even in the dead of the night, What the matter with me?

I tried to calm myself down as I'd regularly breathing in and out. I always have had these 'panic moments' every since I've been parted from my parents. They were my mental support. I guess parents are the support for every single child. Anyone without their family or parents is, well, perhaps somehow unstable. Be it emotionally, physically, or socially. In my case it just might be all of them. Looking back at my life at the orphanage, I had always been the unusual one that would wish to talk to myself. Nothing as far as speaking to myself as in asking a question to myself and giving an answer is something that I've never done. I only comment myself at how horridly I performed something, or just when I became so horrid annoyed at myself.

But only dear God knows exactly what's the matter with me. If someone, in fact anyone, is to know about my problem, dear God bless them!

I finally got to the point where I was comforted. Perhaps I was too comforted, for just as my fears were gone, they seemed to have returned in an instant! I suddenly hear the pitter-patter of feet around me. I was startled, but mostly, I was petrified!

I gasped in a breath of air and turned around sharply thinking that someone or something was behind me. My eyes kept closed, until I felt there was nothing of danger around me. I gently opened my eyes and saw nothing.

What a bloody fool I am!

Little was I knowing that I had wandered right into a graveyard. Once again, I was petrified.

What has this little stroll at night caused me?

I tried to calming down a bit. I eventually contained my self-composure; I then, started to walked around in the graveyard. I heard a weeping sound of a person.

Mourning of a dead loved one….so somber.

I then realized that is was a girl of the age of sixteen. She was a very young and beautiful. She was sitting in front of the grave memorial. The grave read:

Daaé
1821-1870


I then realized that this girl was the daughter of the grave owner. The girl sudden looked as if she had seen a ghost though.

Rather peculiar I do believe….what does she see?

I tried to stay concealed to not startle the girl any further, but I still was trying to see the rest of what was happening from behind other gravestones. I was unable of see what was happening, but I did see the girl leave in tears.

Poor child…

“She probably had a memory...” I said quietly to myself.

Out of curiosity, I walked up to the area where the girl was. I examined the grave a bit more. I could tell that this family was very rich, showing by the size of the grave, probably the biggest grave that I've every seen. I then looked down and closed my eyes towards the ground. I felt really sorry for this girl, for I know the feeling of a broken heart. I then thought of my own memories of my family.

As a child of a tradesman, I was accustomed to a difficult life. My father was a just tradesman. Easy to trust, nice to be with, and a wonderful father. A very good man he was. My mother was an Asian woman from the Philippines Island. Although, my mother and father were very happy with each other, there was a clan of pirates of the Red Sea that were after my father. My father has inherited a great jewel of the Red Sea from his great-great-great grand mother, Patricia. She was the keeper of the Scarlet Pearl, there was no other one like it. So it was passed on from generation to generation till the time of my father.

Unfortunately, these pirates were successful in capturing my father and my mother, and I never saw them again. I never knew if they really did died, either those bloody pirates murdered them for not tell them where it was, or they drowned.

I was grateful that those *******s weren't successful in capturing the pearl for I myself ran away with it...the only possession of my family and practically my only possession as well. I guarded it with my life. At the time I was about twelve, and made my way through life till I was about thirteen. I then made my way to Ireland, where my father used to live as a boy. I was found on the streets and put in one of those damn orphanages.

Everyday, I missed my parents, every single moment of my broken life. I will always remember my parents one way or another, be it from the way to loved her to the final word that they had spoken to me.

Another reason I know what a broken heart is like, or more if an untouched heart, is because of my ancestry of Sirens and Asians. My father being born of a pirate and a Siren is most like where I get my headstrong, stubborn, and independent attitude of a Siren. I obviously inherited my mother's look. I look exactly like her just a bit tall than she was. None the less, did she give me my tan glowing skin, dark black hair, and everything of her.

Although I was happy with my appearance, men weren't really attracted to my looks, more or less my attitude. I knew I had a very fast temper, and I know I can‘t change that. And men these days want a quiet, sophisticated, young lady. Not a headstrong woman, notice I said woman. Ladies are supposed to be quiet and kind, the dramatic difference of me! Also, men want a woman that would just stay home and make her do everything for the house while the men do what ever they do! No, not I! I plan on making it on my own and that‘s what I intend to do. I really wish to dance in the Paris Opera House, though. Once a dream, now reality!

Note to self, only a few more days!

I did get an offer, but I need to have an interview and audition in order to get any job. As you see that I'm going to live in Paris for about a years and a half, as a representative of Ireland's ballet dancers. Some representative they chose!

‘Of course, why don't we send an Asian girl as a Celtic dancer, they’ll most certainly find that daring!'

What was going through that Madame Clarice mind when he chose me to go here…obviously, nothing!

Well anyways, after many years, I gave up all hope of loving someone at all. I guessed that I would never find that one true man that one, true, loyal, kind, and forever more, perfect in my eyes kind of man that would ever love me. And now I have lost all hope of find him at all.

But honestly, why try to love ever? As a teenager I would spend my time sitting in my favorite tree in the orphanage grounds and just write stories of adventure and love...how I wish that I was as lucky as the girls in my stories.

Meanwhile my friends would spend more time with their so-called 'loves'...but those only lasted for about two day to two weeks. They tried to convince me to have a loved one, but to me, those 'loved one' were nothing worth having a broken-heart over. Instead, if a guy at school betrayed one of my friends, I was the one that would talk some sense into him or just beat him up for cheating on them or for what ever reasonable reason there was for it…..and the best part was, I never got in trouble for it. But still I thought the never could find him, so I put the thought in my mind: 'No one will ever love me.' I has force myself to believe that, I will never fall in love! Never! No one can reach out to my cold, defenseless, hard heart and melt away all the pains of my past. No one!

I now have vowed that I will never fall in love for the rest of my life! For my own personal reasons and I intend to keep my life that way. I’ve only dedicated my life for God. Everyday I put my life in his hands. For the rest of my life, I will.

Just as I looked down, I noticed a rose.

A single rose? How mysterious…daring…and sweet, I thought to myself.

The thing that I noticed about the rose the most, was the fact that there was a black, satin ribbon around it. I looked up to think of some possibilities how the girl could have left it.

Maybe, her love gave it to her...and she forgot it because she was crying? Or… I eventually ended thought with a sigh, I just don’t have a plain idea. I just stopped trying to think about it. Well, I know one thing. He's very mysterious.

As I bent down to get the rose, I simultaneously saw a note with a red seal of a skull. It was a very detailed seal, and if you looked past the oddness of the skull, you would see the amazing detail put into the seal. It was quite remarkable.

“That's funny; that wasn't there before, wasn't it?” I said to myself.

How did you just appear like that? I laughed thoughtful with a sigh.

I sighed and shrugged to myself as I started to open it. I saw that the handwriting in the note was very neat and formal. The lines were neat, in stanza form as they were very melody. Suddenly a tune grew into my mind and grew on and on with the words of this piece of literature, this poem of some sort. I didn‘t know whether it was a poem or song, I was pulled deeper into the words and their meaning.

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation.
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination.
Silently the senses, abandon their defenses….

Turn your face away from the garish light of day.
Turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light,
and listen to the music of the night...

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams,
Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before.
Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar.
And you'll live as you never lived before…


From this and what I saw before she left, I believe that the girl's lover or something along the lines wrote this poem or these lyrics for her. How sweet.

I recalled myself wishing that I was in love like this girl, in a happy time of my life, in love like the women in my stories, but I knew that it would never happen; it was too painstakingly hard to admit to myself, though. I was really moved by these strange lyrics. I have never read anything so powerful, so luring, dramatic, but then again, so gently.

Thinking about it, I then remembered the last name of the girl, “Daaé , could that, by any chance, be Christine Daaé?”

She might have been, and she just might have remembered a memory that has happened here with her encounters with the Phantom of the Opera.

Such a couple they are, the newspaper has never written so much about two people like these two. But their stories so interest, Daaé starts to live at the Opera House at the age of seven, then she starts talking about her ‘Angel of Music'. I'm sorry, but the girl is too naive for this world! All of these rumors running around and about the Phantom of the Opera. “From ‘Angel of Music' to ‘Devil's Child' once again,” the newspaper once again said, talking about his ‘so-called self-deserved life'. Something from many years ago told me that I've heard of the saying 'Devil's Child', but from where and whom?

Anyways, to me, no on deserves a life such as horrid as his. Like God said, “Love one another, as I have loved you…” People need to learn to not be such damn ‘snap-judges'. They need to understand the person's situation before they can say anything about them.

Daaé's the daughter of that Swedish violist…right, well she’s most likely inherited a talent of some sort.

I then thought about the lyrics that were for her.

Did the Phantom give these to her? I did hear that the Phantom is known for his musical talent. And I did know they were once known as ‘loves’ if you could say. Did I just read some of his wonderful works? Or was it Christine's beloved, Raoul Vitcome De Chagny? Either way they were gifted who ever wrote this for her. They really care for her…the both of them….I just wonder how it's all going to end?

It’s amazing how a simple story could take up so much on the media.

Quite a drama they do make, must I say so boldly.

Meddling over the thoughts, I was just about to leave with the lyrics, but then remembered the rose. I looked down at the beautiful flower.

“She's really lucky to have him…which ever one gave it to her…” I smiled to myself, feeling happy for this girl's love. I caught myself thinking about my dreams of love. I started to cry over the thought. I felt a gently tear down my cheek, trickling and falling. I could only wipe it away as I look up to the moon lit sky, asking God, Why did you chose this life for me? Where can I find true happiness on Earth? The questions trailed on.

Finding my own spirit and mind, I began to state to myself, “This is why you can't fall for anyone, Melonie! This is why; you'll hurt yourself…”

This was very painful for me to think about. I then left with the rose and the lyrics to return back to Miss Daaé.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Phantom

Hiding behind the graves that I've fought amongst in the night, I lurked around to see the sight before me. Who is this woman? Where did she come from? And why did I just give her music and a rose that was intended for Christine? Why are you even bothering to know her? You're happy with Christine. Right? I could only think for a brief moment gathering thoughts carefully with precision, Of course I am! Damning and blasting myself with each thought shriveled deeper and deeper in me, into my heart that was already frail and burdened. Now all it wants is revenge…Then why do I insist on loving Christine?

But why in the first place are you even trying to understand who she is? Thinking for a moment I answered, You're lonely, that's why! I never thought that my heart would feel like this ever again. And while I still love Christine? What the hell is wrong with me? There's something wrong...No! My problem…is only lust. Only lust, lust and desire...you only wish you knew her. Pause I cursed and slandered at myself once again, Who the hell am I kidding? Of course I'm attracted to her...but...God damn it! She doesn't even know me.

Trying to reason my mind of the situation with the best ease that I could obtain was possibly even bad for my mind after such thoughts that wandered in mind. I'd always over think something with the answer is completely self-explanatory. But I can't possibly risk this thought for being too self thought-out. I didn't know anything of this subject. I don't anything about my feelings. I've obviously never felt them. Are they something that means your attracted to them?

I then forced the thoughts out with a accusation of my lusting thought, This is nothing more than lust...Denying thought I then blasted once again and rethought, and most definitely not love! I can't be in love with someone I have only seen just about an hour ago!

Despite my clearing thoughts, something present inside the fog that blurs my mind continued to press it's moral intension to know this woman. I didn't know what to think anymore. I could have easily ignored it with pride, but I wandered to myself and thought that pride was too much in abundance with people of this century. Pride was wrong, but I couldn't help to show it when it came to denying her.

My thoughts of her continued to moved on and on as it I were rambling on and on with bombastic words, Her eyes eliminating and twinkles like the a glassy lake and black brownish hair that shined so bright in the moonlight.

Thinking once again I refuted again, I'm disgusted by myself. I'm only committed to only Christine, not this woman I've only seen a few minutes ago. I don't even know who she is.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Melonie

As I laid in bed, I thought of my eventful night, I've always loved to walk though the night without being seen, my sense of adventure and sense of mystery always lured me through the darkness of the night. Night time was dark, mysterious, and luring to me…always has and always will.

But everything was going good until I started to feel 'watched over'. Was I in paranoia? Every second I spent in that graveyard, I felt as if someone was really there, besides all the dead people around, but someone actually alive at time. But all of that changed when I saw the girl crying over her lost one and felt sorry for her, but then again sad for myself. Nothing has made me feel more sorrowful for anyone in her entire life.

But back to my self concerns! Why was I paranoid? My mother always said to stay out of those things in life, but how can you not do such a horrid thing when you heard footsteps surrounding you in the night.

"Why am I so negative?” I sighed to myself. I always had the habit of talking to myself, perhaps the cause of my loneliness and solitude, "Maybe, this I why men don't like me?" I said to myself once again annoyed... "Hold on, wait! Which one, the fact that you talk to yourself or the fact that you are so negative?” I asked myself confused, then realized my forced habit, I roll my eyes and sigh "See!” I grumbled to myself, but then shook my head at myself wallowing in my own self-pity, but then smirked at my stupidity and rolled my eyes. I sighed as I shifted in bed. I laid down my head on my uncomfortable pillow, but that was not to my present thought, the only think I was or could possibly think about was tomorrow.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Phantom

As I lay in bed I think about her walking with such grace and beauty. Watching her leave my sight hurts my heart so very much. I know such beauty won't be seen again. My thoughts of anger intruded my gentle thoughts, Wait! Christine's beautiful. But she's, she's just so much more, something that isn't fathomed in my mind.
I couldn't help but to think of only this beautiful woman and nothing else. The sad thing was, I didn't even know her! I then shook myself out of this trance and thought of Christine to throw off my mind from her.
I do love Christine dearly, but this woman is different. She is...have mercy! She's like a modest seductress. I have not even spoke a word to her, and I'm supposing traits of her? I could somehow tell she was independent, bold, headstrong, luring, lustful, and beautiful beyond my believing. And…Lord! I haven't even spoken a word to the woman! I just know this by the way she is, I just know.
I continued to become even more infuriated with myself as my thoughts deepened. No! You love Christine, My words bit myself, You can't possible put your mind through this. First Christine deceives you, and now you're thinking of someone else? I thought exactly for a moment, But how can I not think of her. She's...God knows what I think of her. The only problem is I have no hell of an idea of whom she is.
I could barely see a think behind this black canopy drapes. Just like my mind, I was not able decide on just one thought to read clearly. I then tried to convince myself that she was nothing of the sort as to what I've told myself with my quickly moved mind. Despite my efforts, none of my words could help me.

What am I thinking! Whatever I do, nothing could make me not think of her. Do I dare think that…After a while with thoughts having intoxicated my mind, I brushed off my visuals, No I can't!
But yet, I had to painfully admit, I found this woman much more attractive than Christine. I could only try to maintain a positive part of my mind to persist with my plans.

Christine came first to me. That the exact reason. Christine came to my heart first. Trying to stay with the conclusion, I then finally lost it and began with another thought, but none of them worked, Why did 'she' have to be so intoxicating to me. If only I knew who she was.


We were angels once, don't you remember? Joys in life, inside our souls; and nobody knows, just you and me. It's our secret.
And your child-like eyes, and your distant smile; I'll never be this happy again! You and I. And no one else. || Maybe he'll come today. Maybe he came already...
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Name: Patricia Jane [pətrɪʃə dʒeɪn] | Gender: Lady | Age: 22 | Posts: 2,327 | Roses: 50
Old 12-30-2007 at 02:14 AM
Hidden Away
Wandering Child
Blossoming New Life

Hidden Away's Avatar


Roaming Dungeons
(Performer Is Offline)
I Never Knew It ~ Chapter 2 ~ Dreams of a Lifetime  Post [2] »



February 19, 1871
1:47 o’clock in the morning

Melonie

I was walking through the Paris Opera House in the dark of the night with only a small bit of light from my candle, until it gave out. Damn! As I continued to wandered through backstage.

I pasted all the intricately made props of the past Operas and plays. There's such a diverse community of talents at a theatre as I've always notice. But here, in Paris the top of the line talent is only published. What the hell am I doing here then? It's completely incredible for so many talents to gather and accomplish such beautiful work. But, like any other place, it's a very hard life for a performer of the arts, or basically anything of the arts. I remember as a small child, dreaming of the 'glamorous' life of a dancer. Now I see it's more than being a beautiful dancer in the best designed costumes as you leaping through the air as dainty as feather.

Despite all of the wonderful details of the theatre I once again, felt the presence of someone near. But before I could turn around to see if anyone was really there, I heard a small voice in the distance. At first I didn't know what it was saying, but soon the voice grew into a gentle and angelic voice that sent shivers down my spine. The voice was soft and light, but then again, dramatic, desirous, and luring.

Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
And the truth isn't what you want to see,
In the dark it is easy to pretend. . .


The voice then reach a splendidly soaring note that was beyond grandeur. It was the most moving melody that I've ever heard. Every song, having it's unique way of reminding you of the grand harmony that was developed in the song itself, is always something you just might forget soon. But this song, was something I knew that I'd never forget too soon. There was an explosion of music in my mind from the rarity of such a song with beautiful harmony that lit my senses past the dark of the night. It was only something the night's mystery could bring to mind as you hear such a voice in the night.

That the true isn't what you want to see. . .

No sooner did I fine myself closing my eyes gently and living the words the voice sang. I closed my eyes as pleasure of the solidity of the voice rang into my ears. Such an experience in the quality of their voice was so defined and bold, it was even sensual to the senses and mind. It was as if the voice were to be so demanding that it had forced my eyes to shut as I felt the music growing steadily in my mind. It became part of my heart's mind, until it was completely engraved into my being now.

As I recognized the lyrics' familiarity as they had the same meter to the other's lyrics I've found in the graveyard. The song was practically the exact way I'd ways dream it would be. I could basically come to believe that this voice knew the song that I've found. I was surprise that the voice knew that song in any shape or form in which I've received. But, honestly, who cares about what they knew. Whom every they were, they bore an amazed and intrigued voice, but I then started to hear the voice come closer. Then I had the feeling that the voice was behind me. Then all of a sudden the voice stopped. As if they knew my exact feelings and thought. It was a awkward that such interactivity was involved here at this moment of night, but it was only the night's mysteries that lay hidden.

I stood still frozen in place, wandering what the voice's next move would be. With the precise feeling they were near, I closed my eyes and spun around gasping in a quick bit of air. My eyes remanded closed until my gaze would be what was once behind me. I started to open my eyes gently. When I did she was face-to-face with a man, a rather handsome man.

I all of a sudden felt light-headed, Was it because he was so attractive, or was it something more?

His eyes held an attractive, beautiful, sea foam green that shamefully hidden in the moonlight. His hair dark brown, and slicked back...it was so dark it was almost black. His body was very strong and muscular, despite the intimidation I've felt from the moment he was face-to-face with me, I felt at ease as he looked gently into my eyes. I then knew that he was mysterious and daring, but then again he's gentle and tender.

But I couldn't see the right side of his face for it was cover with a thick, winter white mask. As much as it left me drowning in the mystery he possessed, I could only wonder what every such reason he'd have to hid from the world.

The miraculous idea all of a sudden flashed into my mind. Was he the Phantom of the Opera? I'd have reasoned with myself for much longer, but I knew no debate could stop the fact from being true. Just as the voice said, For your eyes will only tell the truth, and the truth isn't what you want to see. Perhaps I should have closed my eyes much longer than I had before.

He was the man that has given me the letter in the graveyard...the man that has been lurking around in my mind for many months as I've heard of his from the new in a completely different country. He was the Phantom of the Opera.

White mask, Paris Opera....of course...but what's to be terrified of?

Opposed to everyone's thinking of his distortion, I found him rather handsome for a man that hid from the world. But I knew he'd his own personal reasons. He was much taller then me about by seven or nine inches. He wore a white, long-sleeved button up shirt with a black vest over it and a long, black coat over that, and wore black pants. All of the black made him look very mysterious, especially in the nighttime.

I stepped back from his deep stare. He was very attractive to me, he looked mysterious, but then again he was gentle, in a way. I supposed that he was the one that was singing. He bore the most gently voice that I've ever heard. It was even some what provocative. I hated my own thoughts, but I couldn't help human nature. He has the voice that would amaze any being on the face of this Earth. I, for being a victim of his spell, found myself to be breathing deeply and present with the warm feeling inside. I was in a trace as I stared up to his eyes. I couldn't keep my gaze away from him. I then finally brought up the courage to say something to him.

“Who are you?” I asked curiously without fear.

“Never mind that, the question is, 'Who are you?'” he asked smirking.

He's smart with his words as well....

I was taken away by his demanding, gazing eyes. The deeply moved and penetrated throughout my eyes, as I became intoxicated by his deep voice. He was mysterious, cunning with his words, and yet again soothing. I couldn't help but to feel woozy.

“Why do you ask, my good Monsieur?” I asked smirking back.

“I have been watching you lately as you've just arrived at the Opera, Mademoiselle. Am I not right?"

I gave his answer with a raise of my eyebrows, as then he continued.

"So I've longed to know you name for far too long. So if you would, what is you name?”

Smiling at his sly words I thought quickly and replied with a sly smirk, “I'll tell you, if you tell yours first.” I couldn't help, but smirking at this man. I didn't even know who his was. All I knew was that he was very seductive and luring; but for some certain reason I somehow knew this man, but how? Was it the attractions urge that I've tried to over come lately as I was near him? Or could it just be something that I've no idea of now.

“Alright then, my name is....”

“You know what, I'll tell you my name first.” I said with a slight laugh.

It was a slight laugh at first, and then a terrible embarrassment the next moment. I had no idea what told me to say that. I thought he would have been a bit agitated to him. But odd enough, he's eyebrow's quirked and cocked a bit, but before I knew it he was smirking at me….actually even more than before. Don't tell me he's laughing at me? I thought against my own self as I heard a stifled chuckle.

But he just replied back calmly, “Of course....” he said. Was he amused at my childishness?

There was a moment of silence between the both of us. I could not help, but to get hopelessly lost into his deep green eyes. I then started to breath deeper, as I was under his trace. Something told me he was looked back at me just in the same way he was…..was he? No, that never could happen. He snapped me out of my trance, “You name, Mademoiselle?” He asked me.

Unfortunately, I didn't heard him very well. I soon started to stumble and then I fell into his arm. When I fell, I felt the instant connection between us as I instantly gasped of shock. I felt an electrical surge past through out myself from him. His body: warm and strong, the thought completely reddening. His tender, yet protective grasp was ever so comforting. Something was there...but God only knew what was it? I didn't know what my mind was saying. I could only understand then part of me saying to myself. Why did I have to fall? I looked at him, and he just looked at me blankly.

Feeling stupid at myself, I tried to stand back up firmly on my feet without looking like a fool for falling, surprise to find that he was helping up. Of course! I'm just annoying him now… I thought once again negatively.

As much as I knew that he was really annoyed at me, I once again was caught upon his gaze.

“Sorry.......” I said quietly as I snapping out of my trance from his hypnotizing, green eyes. I wanted so badly to rip that mask off his face to look into his eyes deeply. But I couldn’t….

The look on his face told me that he wasn't disturbed or annoyed by my stupidity. Damn my stupidity. But he once again, looked amused at my childishness.

I just smiled back at him, “Sorry..,Alright, my name is, Melonie.” I smiled. “You've promised me a name now, so if you would...?” I asked his quietly.

He just smirked at me.

“Well, now that I can say,” he said jokingly, “My name is...”

Just then, my eyes opened faster than a bullet.

Delighting dream...if only I could get his name…

Sighing, I thought about my rather odd dream, “Funny, the Paris Opera House isn't that were I'm to train in dancing?" I recovered from my blank moment of remembered the entire reason of being in Paris after meeting with Patrick tomorrow. Becoming a chorus girl, and representing Ireland's dancers! To try not to make a fool of myself in this high society of dance and arts…

Lost into negative thought I then remember what I had dreamt of...

The Phantom of the Opera? Does he really exist? Would I come to know him? Would anything life changing occur to me after these sixteen months past by?

I know that a year and four months isn't a long extent in one's lifetime, but it could just change everything if something routine of my life is change...but exactly what?


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Phantom's Dream:

After dropping off my note for this mystery woman, I ran off to backstage of the theater. Waiting on one of the planks above, I saw her walking around. She didn't look scare, she look bold, like she could never be caught off guard.

That's how she was so mysterious to me.

I continued to think of better reasons to obtain this woman into my liking, hopefully not into a bad way, until her candle flicked off. I tried to peer through the darkness to see what she was doing until I found that she looked terrified. Well I don't blame her...I'm just adjusted to this state of darkness...just even from the brightness of her candle is making my eyes readjust themselves over again.

Maybe she could be caught off guard a bit....once in a while… I thought for a while. I then softly started to sing part of the lyrics I left behind for her from the graveyard. I choose the other drafting words for the song instead, I just hope it would not confuse her.

Wait she doesn't even know me, so why would she be confused about this...

Close your eyes for your eyes will only tell the truth,
And the truth isn't what you want to see,
In the dark, it is easy to pretend....
That the truth is what you want to see…


After this thought, I soon made my way down the stairs to the point were I was right behind her. I then stopped singing. But she eventually heard my voice projecting from behind her and she turned around swiftly.

Her eyes where closed, oh how I wished that I could just open them into look deeply. Soon she was standing face-to-face to me. All I could so was just stare are her. I was completely attracted to her from the moment I saw her this close to me.

She had beautiful long black hair that was straight, shiny, and with bangs from her eyes to her jaw line. Her hair was so black it would make darkness apologize. Her hair had shown in the moonlight of the night, and touched to her mid-back section.

Everything about her appearance was just absolutely beautiful to me. But I have never seen such beauty, for she was different with her dark black hair, her tan skin, and unique details her appearance.

She had a perfect tan color to her skin, which sometimes looked as if it were glowing....and the most beautiful eyes that I had ever seen...I was immediately taken into her lake of crystal clear water that lays under the moonlit sky of night. At first she looked at bit startled to see someone out late at this hour, but then she started to relax a bit. Just be yourself….right? But who am I in the first place…

She then had the look on her face that she actually looked as if she was attracted to me. How I wished that was true…

The darkness does make it easy to pretend many things...even ideas beyond my dreaming…

If only she saw what was behind this mask, then she wouldn't smirk.


I thought as she smiled continuously back. But she actually looked curiously to me. But no matter, I couldn't help but smirk at her too.

“Who are you?” she asked.

I stood there trying to make a good impression.

“Never mind that, the question is, 'Who are you?'” I asked cunningly as I smirked at her once again. She then stepped into the moonlight. From that second I was transfixed.

She was beautiful! I looked at her with a bit of affection in my eyes, my face, and as I could feel my eyes growing more compassionate as I looked at her, I felt the corner of my lips curving slightly into a small smile. She was so beautiful, from her appearance to her figure which was very unique and curvy, but oh so attractive to me. I looked at her up and down, but she didn't notice my stares at her. I continued to gaze at her, cautiously in hope that she'll not notice my gaze after a while.

“Why do you ask, my good Monsieur?” She asked cunningly as well. She herself was pretty good with words.

“I've been watching you lately as I've recently arrived at the Opera, am I not right?"

She then batted her eyes as she then gave my answer with a raise of her eyebrows gently.

Smirked, I could only continued with what I was recently saying, "So I've longed to know your name for far too long. So if you would, what is your name?”

“I'll tell you, if you tell me yours first.” She said mysteriously with flirtatious eyes that beamed and twinkled as my heart raced. I could feel my emotions growing even more as the urge to kiss her ever so demandingly grew and my self-control lessened.

“Alright then, my name is...” I started, but she cut into my words.

“You know what I'll tell you mine first.” I couldn't help but to smirk at her sudden, yet adorable remark. Beneath all that mystery, I knew that she was sweet and kind.

“Alright...” Suddenly, I was transfixed upon her eyes. As I looked down to them they were a dark, dark, and mysterious brown; almost black. Considered black… Her eyes had a glow like a glassy lake with the light of the moon shining upon the water's surface...

“Your name, Mademoiselle?” I asked gently to her. But I then could sense that she was to fall soon. I lunged forward, then caught her in my arms and gazed into her eyes deeper. her face was mere inches from my own. As I could feel the heat that her body possessed. Her body felt good beneath my hands as well as her small frame recovered from the shock in the moment. The feeling of her in my arms made me feel warm inside. The innocence of her eyes looking into mine own continued to capture my eyes ever so quickly.

Would it capture my heart? But I didn't know what to think now. I could only helped her up as she tried to get up. She looked startled from the fact that she just fell like that. I didn't blame her. She caught me quite off-guard as well.

I hated it when she left my arms. But I had to help her to her feet or she'd obtain a bad impression of me.

I tried not to blush, but to started our conversation again. I suppose I was vain in hiding my glow as her smile grew a small bit. But I wasn't alone, I could tell she was flushing, her glow was a deep red hidden into her tan skin. It was so adorable….I could adore this woman forever…

“Sorry...” she replied embarrassed. I could tell that she was looking back into my eyes also. This made me blush a bit, again.

I’ve never been attracted to someone like this before. She was nothing like Christine. Christine was more of an angel and innocent. But this other woman, she was also an angel and innocent, but she was also mysterious, headstrong, seductive, and luring.

She tried not to blush as well and continued to talk. She started to talk, “Sorry...my name is....”

Suddenly I jolted from bed and realized that it was only a dream. Nothing of heaven and joy. I was happy just to see her and feel her in my arms. But what could these small pleasures lead to? I could only pity myself and placed my face into my hands and sighed.

“No one could ever be captivated by this....this distortion, this...horrible face!”


We were angels once, don't you remember? Joys in life, inside our souls; and nobody knows, just you and me. It's our secret.
And your child-like eyes, and your distant smile; I'll never be this happy again! You and I. And no one else. || Maybe he'll come today. Maybe he came already...
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Name: Patricia Jane [pətrɪʃə dʒeɪn] | Gender: Lady | Age: 22 | Posts: 2,327 | Roses: 50
Old 12-31-2007 at 04:02 AM
Hidden Away
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Blossoming New Life

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I Never Knew It ~ Chapter 3 ~ I Remember...  Post [3] »


Melonie

I was intrigued by my mystery man from my dream last night. Even though there might not be a dark brown haired, green eyed, masked man in this world, I felt as though I had known him for years. Never the least did I feel a 'connection' with this man. Only one question stood in my way, “Who was this mystery man?”

I never knew my heart could feel as it did in my dream. The feeling of love?…No! That was just a dream…just a dream and only a dream. And you can’t feel anything emotional…right?

How I completely wish that I could melt into his arms and he’d melt away my cold, hard heart from so many years of being lonely, but something told me that he had a love of his own.

As mysterious and handsome he was, he must have had all the luck in the world to find someone to love. All I know is that woman that he loved is the luckiest woman in all of this world!

As much as I wished that he didn’t have a love, knew that he did. As much as I also wish that just for once I know what true love is. I knew that it could never happen.

Why couldn’t I fall in love just for once in my lonely life. Is my life cursed? What is love though? Is it more that what I know it is? Is it a hard, sly, cold, harsh trap that breaks someone’s heart in the end? Or something with deep compassion and care someone? Or just a small step above lust? Or, do I even dare to ask, is it lower than lust itself?

I know that chance to know what it is could never come to me though….not I just for once but I know it couldn't happen; I learned it was for the best. Besides, I had friends like Vivienne, Emily, Carrie, Mandy, Ann, Serenity, but mostly I had a friend like Patrick.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Melonie

That morning I decided to wear a deep cream colored corset that showed off my tan, glowing skin. Somehow, cream and ivory, more or less white, always amplified my dark complexion. I also wore a flowing, long, dark brown skirt that hugged my hips and flowed all the way down to below my shoes. I wore high-heeled shoes, black of course.

I couldn't wait to see Patrick. Patrick was always liberated, casual, and free-spirited. We’re supposed to meet at the Paris Opera House and watch Don Juan Triumphant. I heard that Miss Daaé was going to be performing at the opera, so I would also bring her lost belongings back to her in my purse.

That night, to my misfortune, Patrick turned into snotty, stuck-up, rich musician.

Great….do I have any decent guy friends in the world?

He was dressed in very formal attire. To me it didn't look like Patrick at all.

“Well, aren't you dressed nicely tonight.” I said trying to be kind.

“No, this old thing….”

"Oh...sorry..."

I guess...? What happened to the Patrick that I once knew? Well, hopeful he's still the same person on the inside.

Well, was I in for a surprise, not only has his physical-self, but changed personality and everything! Honestly? It’s either someone murder the real Patrick O'Sullivan or something has happened to the Patrick that I once knew.

When he spoke he tried to use a different voice, one that would usually impress a lady--notice I said lady--, but not me. No way! A voice such as his was far too formal to be the real Patrick and just plain dulling to me. This type of talk was such an annoyance and something that was just going to make me go to sleep. Was he trying to impress me? Well, I'll tell you he's doing a horrid job at it! I'd give him a -10!

He's completely changed. I just once asked him, “So, how was Spain?”

“I loved it,” he said plainly.

Wow a regular response for once!

At least I thought, I could have punched him unconscious when he tried to attain this charade.

“I wish you were there, the Eiffel Tower was so amazing!” He tried to answer smoothly.

Never mind, I thought too soon. Much too soon…..

I cocked an eyebrow as I wandered what has gone on in that damned brain of his, “Um, Patrick?” I asked with a disappointed voice, also pity for this stupid man that was trying to act smart.

“Yes, Mademoiselle O'Riley?”

Rolling my eyes, I replied, “Patrick….the Eiffel Tower is in Paris.”

“Which is in Spain,” Patrick answered stupidly.

“No, which is in France, you know, were we are right now!” I said. I then started my sentence with a bit of sarcasm. No! An ocean load of sarcasm, “You know what? I even believe that were in Paris, France right now! This very second….Oh, and look there,” I pointed out in the distance, “I think that's the, hum, I don't know.....the Eiffel Tower!” I replied back in frustration in terms of his stupidity and his trying to impress me.

“Ummm, sure.....I knew that...I was just testing you......”

Is all that 'brilliant musician' could think of?

That is all he could respond with, acknowledging his dumbness as well he looked defeated.

This charade better be deteriorating after that one. At least he knows that he's extremely stupid!

“Sure fooled me!” I exclaimed under my breath.

As we were passing the Café, the lights of Paris were very bright and enlightening, maybe too enlightening for Patrick. He tried to get a hold of my hand every once in awhile. I just pulled away neutrally. After I’ve denied several of his so-called advancements, he thought that I was just jesting with him about holding hands. He then tried to kiss me on the lips. Just as he tried to lean in, I just smacked his face away.

“Oww! What was that for?” He asked complaining as he rubbed his cheek from the redness. When I slap or hurt someone I will hurt them as much as they deserve it, Patrick should know this. But yet again he was just trying my patiences.

“What was that for? Patrick, you tried to kiss me!” I retort as I hissed at him.

“On the cheek.....” He replied stupidly.

“No you tried to kiss me on the lips!” I screamed madly.

“No, correction, you wish I did...”

Why are men so stupid?!

“Correction! I certainly don't wish!” I said firmly.

“Oh, come on! Just calm down,” He replied in his formally stupid way.

“Just calm down? Why don't you just shut-up?” I snared at him angrily as we walked into theatre.

I thought that the night couldn't get any worst, but then again, I have been thinking a bit too soon lately. We were finding our seats just as the opera was about to start. Just then I felt that someone was holding my waist. I quickly turned my head around and saw that Patrick took pride in trying to show that I was his. This was, of course, one-hundred million and one percent untrue. I had it with him and his game.

I ripped his grasp from my waist, and confronted him immediately. I dragged him from the theatre into the hall to a corner so no one could see my anger.

“Patrick, what the bloody hell is wrong with you today? You not yourself?” I said scolding him.

“What are you talking about, I haven't changed one bit,”

“Oh, then I must have be the blind for the past thirteen years to think that you were some type of formal jerk that tries to impress ladies....huh?” I said sarcastically, “Well, you can stop trying with me, because one, I’m not a ladies, I am a grown woman…and I’m one that’s know how to fend for herself. And two, your never going to get anywhere with this charade….so you think that I was this stupid to not now that you were like this the whole time. Unless you’re not really Patrick O’Sullivan….so I’ve been blind…and the answer: In front of my face for all these years?”

“Exactly, correct!” He replied flatly with a shrug of his shoulders. He tried to leave. I felt that I could just slap him right across the face again! But I couldn’t I was in public….What has gotten to his mind?

“No! You don't respond with, 'Exactly correct'! You know what? You're exactly wrong! You've been wrong since this 'so-called' reunion. And you know what? I was wrong about you, so excuse me!” I said quietly with all the angrier in the world, "I was wrong about you; I thought that you were my friend, not some freak hypocrite, like Dave was!” The words just ran out of my mouth as if I were a spout that was trickling water down in control from the weightful powers of gravity. I tried to make my words quiet, but still it was all loud enough for a deaf man to hear. I stopped for a second and then continued with my lecture.

“You know what, I am through with it! I'm tried of hearing crap from your boring accent that you've just made up; And I'm being harassed by my own friend. Now that's sad! And I'm sick of being here! But most of all I'm sick of you!” Just as I said those words, I turned on my heels and started to walk away.

“Where are you going, Mel?” He stupidly asked.

Where am I going…..Ha! I laughed to myself in my mind.

“I'm going to my room, and if you follow me I will call the authorities and have you arrested for personal invasion of my space. You know what, I thought I was going to see a friend today, but no, I was wrong; I was going to see a retard son of ***** that is a jerk! Just like Dave, the other son of a ***** retard! Good day, Patrick!” and with that I left him like a blind man that has just been knocked out, with a bloody look of confusion and the expression of ‘that-was-really-harsh’. And you know what? It was! Really harsh!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Phantom

I was standing in my regular seat before the performance started. I saw the same exact woman from my dream and from the graveyard as well, but unfortunately she with some other man. I had to admit, I was a bit envious and in loathing of this man. I was disturbed that she was with him in the first place. But when I saw them fight I suppose that they weren't ‘together’. I also noticed that her finger didn’t bear a ring around it.

The golden promise for a lifetime….

I felt my heart wreching with pain from the thought of her baring a wedding ring on that finger...

Wait! I’m here to propose to Christine. I thought wide-eyed to myself.

I thought to myself as I fingered the ring that I was going to present to Christine….I loved her dearly. She was so angelic, innocent, and very beautiful. But this mysterious woman. . .she seem as if she were much more beautiful than Christine.

Her dark eyes that gleamed in the light of the grand hallway, they did the same as they did in the graveyard. I started to think more.

Why am I having second thoughts about this all? Of course, sure just alter everything from it’s original place…just let something fall into place for once, Erik!

Even though she wasn’t with anyone, and also that she didn't belong to anyone or anything of the sort, I felt bad for her. I saw her after she ran out, in tears. . .crying! But mostly, I was in hatred and disgusted towards this disrespect, despicable man.

How dare he hurt her, he will pay dearly for this!

I had to think.....

"But, how to make you pay for this awful deed?” I asked myself. I wander over the thought. I then looked up, and saw that if I simply cut that rope, the chandelier would fall on him….I put a mental thought in my mind to remember which rope it was….the one behind the low, yet wide rope….and left to…wait, that would be right when I face it…so right to the skinny, shallowly looped one…..left to the low, wide and right to the skinny and shallowly looped rope…

“That will teach him!” I then, ever so quietly, went on stage, hoping that my plan would work.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Phantom

I was lurking around the shadows of the Opera during noontime. Practically, there was only one good thing that has happened to me. . .out of all the good things in my life what a miracle. The fact that my plan had worked out was good, but the thing I didn't understand was that the mystery woman was weeping over the ‘so-called’ tragic event.

Heck, didn’t I do her a favor....didn't I?

I then over heard voices in the hallway. I snuck from shadow to shadow till I was behind a wall near the corridor that the voices were coming from. I then heard her voice, she did sound quite tearful, but yet again her voice was so beautiful and pure. Just as she was.

“He was my only friend....I'm sorry I was so out control yesterday! I'm sorry, Patrick! I'm so sorry.....”

I then started to hear Madame Giry's voice, What could she possibly want?

“Mademoiselle, were you the one that enquired on a job here?”

“Yes, Madame Giry...” She had a hard time holding back tears that were about to flood out, “I'm sorry, Madame, but I just received news of my friend's death and so may we have the audition later? I feel weak and…hurt….”

Oh, God, did I feel bad for hurting her...

“You know that this could lessen the chances that you have to be a dancer here?” she asked.

Just give her a chance, Madame...

"I have my papers here from Ireland...I'm have a reserved place as long as my audtion and interview go well." She said with a small voice as she handed the papers to Madame Giry.

Madame Giry studied the papers..."Oh, yes...well of course you may. I have heard great things about you from my sister's letter to me. You were her best student, you know." Madame said with a bit of joy in her voice. She then turned back to sorrow, “I am very sorry,” she said this with much more intensity in her voice.

Oh great now she's mad at me too! Why me? I then turned my attention to the belle before my eyes.

So....she's getting a job here? I thought to myself, with a slight smirk on my face. Maybe I could....

Just then my smirk vanished...No! Discipline yourself! You can't do this again....you heart has seen enough pain to you a last lifetime!

As I pressed my lips together, I then thought about what happened last night. I started to sob. I felt that I could just fall over and left myself there without a care, but only to cry myself to death. I knew that I had better leave for someone around the corner could run into me and ending all suspition of the Phantom's death and beginning the rumor of 'He lives!' I soon returned to my lair.

As I walked through the corridors of the undergrounds, the thought of this mystery woman mourning over her lost friend made me very depressed. I didn't mean to hurt her, I just wanted for that disrespectful man to learn his lesson.

Sure he did learn his lesson, the chandelier fell on him…

Not only did I worry about the mystery woman's mourning, my depression comes mostly from Christine. The God-damned-forsaken tramp!

She was the only person that I could learn to love. Last night, Christine left me to die as she started her happy life with that blonde-haired idiot!

Why did she lead me on? Then she had to leave with the blonde-haired, blue eyed, rich one! Blood bugger! All he does is hiding behind his checkbook and scream out to his mommy when he's lost!

I thought that no one could possibly love me, all because of my deformity.

Curse me for that! Curse me for being born. . .

All my life no one has reached out to care for me, not one bit of compassion, care, love or gibberish. Nothing but bunkum! Heartbroken over these thoughts and affairs, I left for my lair and planned to stayed there in a corner for days and weeks to cry over this deceiving woman, Christine.


We were angels once, don't you remember? Joys in life, inside our souls; and nobody knows, just you and me. It's our secret.
And your child-like eyes, and your distant smile; I'll never be this happy again! You and I. And no one else. || Maybe he'll come today. Maybe he came already...
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Name: Laura | Gender: Female | Age: 26 | Posts: 279 | Roses: 0
Old 12-31-2007 at 05:06 PM
Ange de Musique
Wandering Child
Blessed4Eternity

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Roaming Dungeons
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 Post [4] »


Very good! I have read the entirety of your story and I commend you for an interesting story. So far, it's great! I would encourage you to please not post any of the explicit content here, for personally, I don't read that kind of stuff. Oh, and a word of warning in advance. I do 'critique,' so please don't be offended. :) I mean well, and I appreciate critiques myself.

Things I noticed are as follows. I assume that the time period you mean this story to be is in somewhere around 1865 or so...right? If so, I have picked up on a few modern phrases, like this one: "If you messed with me, I'd mess you up!" I also noticed several typos, like these: "She's luck to have him..." Or: "Raoul Vitcome De Chagny."

There are a few sentences that the grammar is a little 'goofed.' For instance: "I have never read anything so powerful, so luring, dramatic, but then again, so gently." Suggested rewrite: "I have never read anything so powerful, dramatic, alluring but then again, so gentle in spite of all this." Not the best, but it's just a suggestion. ;) I have noticed you use the word: "luring," frequently. I believe it is supposed to be: "alluring." ;) Also, "Misour," is spelled, "Monsieur."

When you switch to the Phantom's POV, you might want to consider putting in a little more descriptions, like of his surroundings and such. I found myself feeling lost, with little feeling of where he was, etc.

Some of your sentences are quite breathtaking. Like your description of Erik, and this poetic sentence: "Her hair was so black it would make darkness apologize." Me likes, me likes!! :D

Good job, and keep up the good work!

Laura



"What you do in this life echoes in eternity."
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Name: Patricia Jane [pətrɪʃə dʒeɪn] | Gender: Lady | Age: 22 | Posts: 2,327 | Roses: 50
Old 12-31-2007 at 07:02 PM
Hidden Away
Wandering Child
Blossoming New Life

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Roaming Dungeons
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sorry for such horribe grammar (this message and all my writings!) haha  Post [5] »


Wowie!!!!! harsh aren't we! just joking I take things like that in a good way!
Well one Melonie's has a very headstrong mind and, like you know, she's the daughter of a Pirate. And knowing them when someone would try to kill them they will do anything in there power to hurt or even killl the other person! sorry...um of course my grammar and mess like that sucks! we all know that! Yeah the thought of changing and having first person POV was just recently chance about 3 weeks ago so that threw me off! sorry, um yeah my modern day mouth has gotten me to a horrible place when it comes to their 1870 language and way of talking. Well just bare with me, it just might get worse!!!!! and of course I'm not that dumb to put something as explict as what i wrote. by God I was only 12 when I wrote it. yeah i know some people don't want to read that mess but well it's a fact of life. some are embarrassed about it(like me, you should have seen my face when I was writing it! my face was redder than red death!!!!!) well i hoped you like it! I'm posting in about a few hours days? who know! uncanny I am! and by the way, luring is correct. And alluring means something else. and everyone knows that I can't spell the correct spelling of misour! sorry just bare with me this is my first!!!

Truly Yours,
Q.S.


We were angels once, don't you remember? Joys in life, inside our souls; and nobody knows, just you and me. It's our secret.
And your child-like eyes, and your distant smile; I'll never be this happy again! You and I. And no one else. || Maybe he'll come today. Maybe he came already...
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Name: Laura | Gender: Female | Age: 26 | Posts: 279 | Roses: 0
Old 12-31-2007 at 07:15 PM
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I did very much like it, and pleeease don't take what I said in the wrong way. You asked for a review, and that is how I give reviews. I do hope I didn't offend you...

Post soon! :)

Laura



"What you do in this life echoes in eternity."
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Name: Patricia Jane [pətrɪʃə dʒeɪn] | Gender: Lady | Age: 22 | Posts: 2,327 | Roses: 50
Old 12-31-2007 at 07:27 PM
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I'm just pulled you leg! haha! sorry I know I'm a drama queen sometimes. (Erik nudges my arms and gives me that look) Okay fine always I'm a Drama Queen (Erik smirks) Happy Erik?


We were angels once, don't you remember? Joys in life, inside our souls; and nobody knows, just you and me. It's our secret.
And your child-like eyes, and your distant smile; I'll never be this happy again! You and I. And no one else. || Maybe he'll come today. Maybe he came already...
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Name: Patricia Jane [pətrɪʃə dʒeɪn] | Gender: Lady | Age: 22 | Posts: 2,327 | Roses: 50
Old 12-31-2007 at 08:21 PM
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I Never Knew It ~ Chapter 4 ~ Sorrow Only Burdens One's Heart  Post [8] »


Memo: My parents are still trying to cure me of the Phan-virus. Well that's not going to stop me!!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Phantom

I was taking my first few steps out of my lair for the day, in fact, my first steps out of my lair since the accident…

I walked along the planks at the top of the theater.

“Damn!” I whispered sternly to myself for I had almost fallen of from a plank as I clumsily tripped over my cape.

I haven’t been outside of my lair which has cause me to loss my alert senses, but eventually I would regain them back. It has been about two weeks since the accident, but still, my heart was too weak to take the pain of heart-brokenness anymore.

Neither could my mind. I couldn’t think straight, my mind drifting from one thought to another after I finally got the previous one straight and clearly readable in my mind, and it happens over and over and over and over again! It kills me! Nags me! It’s all a waste, my life IS a waste!

Even though I was depressed about this event about Christine and it was hurting me, I knew that it was for the best. If I really did love her--but then again I learned that she was just a mere obsession to me, even less--I would have let her be happy with him in the first place. No matter how much it makes me gag, sick, or even that I just want to lie down and die.

As I was walking on one of the planks above the stage I heard voices coming from the orchestra area of the theatre. Most of the theatre was in ashes from the chandelier’s fall and end, but they were making arrangements to renovate it all. I found myself snickering at the thought, The fools!

They all blame me, The Opera Ghost or as they know by my note: O.G, that this wonderful monument of Paris is halfly in ashes. Well it isn’t my fault that the theatre was in ashes. I didn’t make the chandelier bust into flames, I just simply made it drop from it previous position as a distraction. It didn’t have to burst into flames after it fell! Just remember, that chandelier busted into flames all by itself. That not my fault, I’m not liable for that! Now am I?

Anyways, it sounded like Madame Giry's voice.

Again?

I then saw Madame Giry and my mystery woman from my dream, I decided to listen in and eavesdrop a bit on them.

What are you doing here, I asked myself as I cocked an eyebrow at this bellé and listened in.

I asked myself as I cocked an eyebrow at this belle and listened in.The question I ask myself: What is the one things that could possibly bring me out of this hell? The answer? The woman standing right before my very eyes: That woman--that I don’t know of her name, yet!

Be it either the look on her face that is full of hope her face itself from it’s beauty or is it the way she would beam and smile. What ever it was about her, she was something in this world that could make me happy for no apparent reason.

I found that my music doesn’t make me happy through these hard weeks of my horrid life. I’ve tried everything! I drew pictures, I’ve sculpted, I sketched ideas for the renovation,--I could be nice and give them suggestions for the pillars or something-- I burnt some old music papers and wood and compressed them to make charcoal for some drawings after I ran out,--I would have done that whether I was bored or not--I tried to write music, lyrics anything of the sort, I even just tried to sleep the whole day--but then I just decided to get up; I couldn’t sleep. After a long while of sleeping, God, how I wished that I could just wake up to her face. But that could never happen. Nothing could fill that part of me that was always lonely. I wanted to be with her.

But I would always be a one-companion. I that hole in my heart would never be whole with the love, care, and compassion that is feminine-like and tenderness that comes from a woman. I wanted to have someone to care for and to love. Someone to love me is all I ask, for me, but no one would talk to me in the first place so what’s the point. I just wish that I could have that kind of companionship, especially with her. I would give her everything! My heart, my home, my life, anything she desires, I’d make her my queen, I would cherish her forever and every single day of our lives until we die! But it could and would never happen that way! And God, this did really hurt just to think of it. The thoughts themselves make me tear. My heart has this horrible burdened upon it, being weighed down, every part of it: Going down lower into this depriving and merciless world’s underground of hell.

Not until this morning, until I saw her, did my heart leap for joy. Her eyes continued to gleam, her hair ever so shining in the sun, her smile that I saw once in a while, my heart was singing inside me.

As my thoughts of being with her went on and on, I then thought of my forcedness to find love and how it had affect a few lives. Okay, I have to admit, maybe a lot….maybe it even got to people all over the world.

But I don’t want her to end up like Christine. Isn’t it true that this woman could deny me even though she didn’t have a love in the first place. She could turn away, she could trick me like Christine. But I refuse to ruin her life.

But another part of me just wishes that I could have her in my arms, just for once. To know what is feels like to love someone, care for them…some things of compassion and trust. My heart was hurting now, images of her running in my mind. And when I opened my eyes I saw her right before
me, in real life. What has become of me!!

I started to forget about my hurting side and I started to stay focused on the conversation before me concerning this beautifully exquisite woman and her future dance mistress, “So you will be a dancer with the other chorus girls, and a singer and actress if we need one. Okay, that will fill the job.” Madame Giry said.

“Yes Madame, thank you, I really need this job. It's been my dream to work here as well,” She replied and paused. Her voice was so much more beautiful when she was cheerful…I wanted to hear that voice everyday for the rest of my life!

She continued to speak, “Um, Madame?”

“Yes, what is it, my child?” Madame Giry said.

“Where do I sleep?” she asked innocently.

Right from the moment she said that, I had thoughts wandering through my mind, and they weren't modest and good thoughts in the first place either…I have dreamt and fantasized about this woman--don’t I have a right to do so if I can’t have her with me? It’s not like she would know I that I wished that I could be with her everyday. Why did you have to be so goddamn pretty and beautiful.

I just grew a devious smirk on my face. I then thought negatively as my ‘You-can’t-possibly-put-yourself-through-this-after-Christine’ speech that I made up to myself ever since I saw ‘her’, and which lead my smirk to immediately vanishing.

“In room, eh....room ninety-seven. Here you go,” Madame Giry left the key with her and tried to leave as soon as possible when I started to speak.

“But Madame Giry, that was...” She sounded as she couldn't continue what she was going to say, because Madame Giry cut in.

“Yes, I know,” she replied after pausing in her steps and turned around, “It was Christine Daaé 's old room. I know, but that is the only one left. I'm sorry....”

“That's....umm...alright....I'll manage.” she tried to sound convincing said reassuringly.

“Yes, well good night. Well will have practice at eight o' clock tomorrow morning. Be there fifteen minutes early to meet everyone and to warm-up.”

She nodded just as she was about to leave, Madame Giry grabbed her wrist. She turned to face Madame Giry; she had a grave look on her face of warning.

“And....” Madame Giry had a hard time trying to find the words.

“Yes, Madame?”

“And please, do be careful,” she said shakily looking around to make sure no one was there to was she had to say, “The Phantom, he is very mysterious and impulsive. Always be aware of what's happening. Always be on your guard….if anything, anything at all, goes wrong, or is odd you, tell me immediately,” she said sternly and strong.

What have I done? I asked myself innocently as if I were talking to her.

“Yes, Madame...like I said...I'll manage.....really I will.” she finally stuttered out.

“Good night then,” she started to leave and then turned to say, “and 'bon chance‘....”

Madame Giry left, leaving her alone, she looked petrified from what Madame Giry told her now.
Awww, Madame Giry, don’t worry I won’t hurt her…I never could do that…I just want to know her.
"Great! And all I get is 'good luck'!” then she started to calm herself down.... "Okay, don't think that....how hard could it be, okay, you've beaten up kids at school for Patrick....you.....um, know how to use a sword from dad. What could you possibly be frightened of?" She coached herself as she walked up the theatre towards the hallway to her room.

I was very interested and captivated by this woman. So seems very skilled in fending for herself by the things she could be threatening me with right now. I didn’t think that I would ever mess around with her as far as haunting and stalking goes. But I would watch her and see her activity through the Opera House. Isn’t that different from stalking?

She was even more beautiful in reality than in my dream. But how could this be true?

My thoughts continued. I had to stop myself before I started think of ways to take advantage of her. For what happened ’that’ night might happen all over again! Let alone, I have learned something of the feminine’s ways.

That’ night did teach me something. Yes, I know, it amazing that such a stupid, naïve, and foolish girl could teach me anything. What I learned is that you have to respect woman and then something good might come out of it.

In 'that' night’s case….what did happen that was good….that kiss? God damn it, NO! No, it was just out of pity and a ‘I-wish-that-you-would-stop-being-a-stubborn-ass-’kind of kiss.

How ever, back to the mystery woman. How could I have possibly dreamt about someone that I have never seen, heard of, or known about before he actually did? What if it was destiny? Serendipity? But then, I thought, how could I be destined to know this woman? But I didn't want or even try to find out for myself. I would just let things take there place as there suppose to be, but certainly this couldn't last for very long. But even if I did try to do something, with Madame Giry after me, I could do anything as far as I live where I live and go on with my life. After what he has done to Christine, Madame Giry would kill me. But none the least, I would find a way to know her; for of course.....I am the Phantom of the Opera.


We were angels once, don't you remember? Joys in life, inside our souls; and nobody knows, just you and me. It's our secret.
And your child-like eyes, and your distant smile; I'll never be this happy again! You and I. And no one else. || Maybe he'll come today. Maybe he came already...
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Name: Patricia Jane [pətrɪʃə dʒeɪn] | Gender: Lady | Age: 22 | Posts: 2,327 | Roses: 50
Old 12-31-2007 at 10:55 PM
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I Never Knew It ~ Chapter 5 ~ A Mirror's Reflection...Not!  Post [9] »


Sorry so short, or maybe you just might like that with all these long chapters! :) sorry! Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Melonie

I made it to my room, room ninety-seven. It was very dusty and dank. No one has been in that room, for everyone has been frighten of the Phantom's return and didn't want to know whether he has come back or not. I know about three months ago that Christine moved out of this room and lived with De Changy, but I didn’t know that it was this bad!

“Wow, this room is horrible!” I said to myself.

But I could manage. As I cleared to room of its dust and grime, I noticed a mirror. A really rather old mirror. I walked up to it and looked into it's reflective gleam. It was very dusty and old. I started to wipe the mirror of its grime and dust. As the dust cloth made its way to the middle of the mirror, the mirror appeared to have something behind it, the appearance in the mirror was a mask. A mask that was white, white as winter snow. I gasped; I turned away thinking that it was my imagination running wild; I then glanced away. As soon as I glanced away I looked over my shoulder just to make sure it was nothing, I saw, like I thought, nothing.

My shoulders fell back into a relaxed state after a few second of being tense. My breath was shaking for I was quite stattled.

Why most everyone be so frighten by him? It's getting to me now...

I was taken aback at the sight when I thought I saw the mask. The mask I thought I saw looked very similar from the one on the mystery man's face from my dream.

But it couldn't be that one....could it? I didn't know why I had that dream, but something told me that it was about to turn to reality. But how could it? I can't possibly have dreams of something that's going to happen. But then again, life has many things yet unknown to one.

No matter, I continued to clean the room. As soon as I finished cleaning the entire room, I felt proud of myself. I decided to examine the mirror more closely, just once more. I was just far too nosy.

“How could something possibly be behind that mirror?” I questioned myself aloud. As I looked deeper into the mirror, “Nothing could possibly be there!” Thinking this, I knocked the glass think of myself as a fool. I then grabbed my nightgown from my bag. Changed quickly in the bathroom and when to my bed. I lied down and started to dream a dream of my other dreams.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*

Phantom

I was standing behind the mirror, waiting for this mystery woman to come to her room. I wanted to know more about this woman, I wanted to see her closer than before. To gaze into her eyes.

She entered her room; she looked very distressed when she saw how messy it was.

Heck, I don’t blame her! Everyone’s just so scared of the Phantom! Ooo, scary! I really am…

I thought as my confident deteriorated much more than ever.

Since when did I even have confident in myself ever?

She soon started to clean up. I continued to stare and gaze at her.

I was intoxicated by her, but why? How? Was it her beautiful black hair that was the prefect length down her back? Or her mysterious dark brown eyes that sparkled like moonlit over a lake? Or her beautiful and exquisite figure that was so delicate?

No one could possibly reach out to my heart anymore! Not after Christine!

I cringed at the thought of Christine entering my mind as I was gazing at this much more beautiful woman. Christine always has to ruin everything! I started to think of how mad I was at Christine, none the less did my angry show. I was so enraged that I didn't notice the mystery woman was walking towards the mirror. She started to dust it off, and when she did she seemed to have seen something. She must have seen my mask.

I ran away into a shadow in the distance as her head snapped away. I stood there in the shadow waiting for something to happen. She then looked back into the mirror. Standing back from the mirror’s surface, I saw her face through the mirror. I then started to get caught into her eyes. Even though she didn't see me, I definitely saw her. How I wished that we both could see each other. Remembering my wishing about her, being with her, having her to myself everyday and night and every minute of my lonely life…forever. Wishing that I could care for her, cherish her, hold her, and be with her forever, have a family with her, belong to her and only to her. But how could that ever happen?

Not wanting anymore pain to my broken heart, I walked back to my lair for the night and thought of this mystery woman for a long while. As soon as laid down in bed, I sat up, bowed my head, and cried and cried.


We were angels once, don't you remember? Joys in life, inside our souls; and nobody knows, just you and me. It's our secret.
And your child-like eyes, and your distant smile; I'll never be this happy again! You and I. And no one else. || Maybe he'll come today. Maybe he came already...
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Name: Laura | Gender: Female | Age: 26 | Posts: 279 | Roses: 0
Old 01-01-2008 at 12:55 AM
Ange de Musique
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Blessed4Eternity

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 Post [10] »


Oooo, I like this chapter! My favorite part is when Melonie looks into the mirror and sees the Phantom's mask. *delicious shiver* Ahhh, Erik... *ahem!* :D Anyway

Keep up the good work!

Laura



"What you do in this life echoes in eternity."
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